Im not quite ready...

[StephieAck]

...this will sound strange and kind of stupid to many people but it is something I thought this morning.
Ok, my size 12 trousers/jeans are getting a bit loose on me now, so I am really needing to move down to a size 10.
Whats the problem many of you say...its the freakiest thing, Im not ready for it!
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? I hear some of you say....HOW BLOOMIN STUPID ARE YOU? I hear others say and I do understand that, Im a bit puzzled by this feeling myself, but I dont feel ready to buy a size 10 and I dont know why.
Im still a 12-12/14 in many clothes but my bottom half seems to be slimming down nicely.
Why do I feel like this? Why on earth would a woman that has transitioned from being HUUUUUUUUUUGE to being quite slim not be ready to go down to a smaller size?
It really doesnt make any sense to me but I cant help but feel this way.
My head has caught up lately, I know that Im slimmish now, so why?...Why arent I ready?
Steph xx

 

[Bev]

Hi Steph,

Hoping you can embrace this achievement... then maintain it... maybe you have been feeling happy at a 12...

You certainly look good and well...

Loving hugs to you Steph xxx

 

[ladylite]

Hi Steph

I quite understand, perhaps its because you are frightened it may be taken away again. I dont know about you but I have slimmed down many times only to fail once I got near goal and I think there are quite a few likewise.

Anyway, embrace it you have done so well.

 

[lisa x]

Hi Steph..is it because this was the size you thought you would be at the end of it all...

I know I will be asked what size I would like to be ...in my head I would be happy at 14..anything smaller just does not compute..(maybe because I have never been smaller that that even as a teenager!)
If someone told me I would end up a size 10 I would laugh at them!!!
Its a lot to get your head around isn't it...
I cannot wait for this op... x x

 

[StephieAck]

Thanks for the replies xx
Yes, I am the size that was previously only a fantasty of mine. When people would ask what size I would like to be I would say "a 14 would be awesome, a 12 would be even better but that wont happen. Anything around a 14/16 would be awesome" and in my head I never expected to get any littler than a 16/18. As you say Lisa, any littler than that just didnt compute and even though I know my size now it just still doesnt compute to be my dream size and getting smaller. So yes I think that maybe its because I never dreamt that a 10 was even possible.
I told my mum on the phone this morning that I am needing to buy some size 10 bottoms and she said again (second time now) "please dont get much slimmer love, you have a lovely little body on you now, please, stop soon". In what world do I have a lovely little body? In clothes it does look fairly decent actually but I seriously must have missed the memo that informed me that THAT was possible...and I still have another 15lbs to lose!!!
I swear Im going to wake up any moment in my old huge body and find that this is all just a wonderful dream...this surely cant be real!
I hope that all of you lovely people out there have wonderful journies and if you gain even a quarter of the joy that my journey has given to me then wow, youre going to end up VERY happy people xxx
Steph xx

 

[thinnerangela]

I know EXACTLY how you feel.

A 10 is just silly after the size we were - ordinary people are a size 10 - sometimes!!

I realise I'm slimmer but a 10 - get outta here!!

Shoppings fun though!!

xxx

 

[StephieAck]

Oh I so agree...I adore shopping now lol
The normal people thing...thats it isnt it, for so long we werent the 'normal' in life...its strange to suddenly be that.
Steph xx

 

[ditzeeblonde]

I can't ever imagine being smaller than a size 14, its the smallest I have ever been as an adult & my sister who's skinny is a size 14! I'll never ever be smaller than her!

 

[StephieAck]

Im proof that you can truly suprise yourself, you very well may end up slimmer than her!
Steph xx

 

[ditzeeblonde]

Wow... that truly would be amazing... I have never ever been skinnier than my sister, ever! x

 

[StephieAck]

I never ever imagined I could be my mums sort of size but I now hand down clothes to her! Its a proper mind trip lol
Steph xx

 

[emma-louise]

hi steph,

its fantastic what you have achieved! I hope I can do as well as you,I can never imagine myself being smaller than a 16!
I feel embarrased today that I found out the weight of my hubby,and now I feel like a huge monster compared to him..hes 14 and half stone.
I weighed myself at boots today,and since the preop diet and the op,Ive lost 2 stone in the 6 weeks.
I was a bit gutted that I didnt lose a bit more,but then my hubby said he was very proud of me and I shouldnt be sad as the slower it comes off the healthy I will be(hopefully no hair loss or lots of loose skin)
I know hes right.. xx take care

 

[StephieAck]

Two stone at 6 weeks is great, I was 8 weeks out by the time I have lost two stone. Nothing wrong with slower, its the right direction at least. I class myself as a slow loser but I have still lost over seven stone and gone from size 26 to size 12 (and heading down!), so just because the weight comes off slower than many others doesnt mean that we dont do brilliantly. You are doing fab hon, you should be incredibly proud of yourself. You wont be heavier than your fella for too much longer...soon you will leave him eating your dust! lol
Steph xx

 

[emma-louise]

Two stone at 6 weeks is great, I was 8 weeks out by the time I have lost two stone. Nothing wrong with slower, its the right direction at least. I class myself as a slow loser but I have still lost over seven stone and gone from size 26 to size 12 (and heading down!), so just because the weight comes off slower than many others doesnt mean that we dont do brilliantly. You are doing fab hon, you should be incredibly proud of yourself. You wont be heavier than your fella for too much longer...soon you will leave him eating your dust! lol
Steph xx

thanks steph,
Hes been brilliant with me,I suppose because Im new to all this I want it now!!
But at the same time Im telling myself not to be silly and be sensible.
Im just so worried about my hair,its the only thing I have I like about myself,I just feel like an ugly fat thing at the minute..lol

 

[Stellap]

Hiya Steph, I'm in the same position as you - my 12s are getting loose (especially round my waist) and my skirts are sitting on my hips now so really time I went a lower size but I'm reluctant. Maybe you have enjoyed this journey so much that you don't want it to end and at a 10 you know that you are close to coming to the end of your journey - that's how I rationalise it anyway. One of the reasons I'm reluctant to go lower is that I thought I would stop at a 12 so I bought lots of really nice quality clothes and don't want to give them up! If I never lost another pound I wouldn't mind a bit! I walked 10 miles today (train strike) and could never have been fit enough to do that a year ago - isn't it fab?

 

[Grace]

Wow Stephie, it must feel amazing, but I can also imagine very strange. Like I said in my diary recently, I'm afraid to even go shopping yet.
I suspect you're afraid it will be snatched away. It will take some getting used to, but you'll get there. Big hugs, and we need to see the photos of you in your size 10s!

 

[StephieAck]

I love you guys, you are all great xx
Steph xx

 

[lisa x]

Hiya Steph, I'm in the same position as you - my 12s are getting loose (especially round my waist) and my skirts are sitting on my hips now so really time I went a lower size but I'm reluctant. Maybe you have enjoyed this journey so much that you don't want it to end and at a 10 you know that you are close to coming to the end of your journey - that's how I rationalise it anyway. One of the reasons I'm reluctant to go lower is that I thought I would stop at a 12 so I bought lots of really nice quality clothes and don't want to give them up! If I never lost another pound I wouldn't mind a bit! I walked 10 miles today (train strike) and could never have been fit enough to do that a year ago - isn't it fab?

THanks for that post...

I could cry at this post..happy tears mind...
I always wanted to go out and buy good quality clothes...and would love an capsule wardrobe...and at size 12 you would think you were there..
I must mentally note to myself to wait until my body stops before investing in my designer wardrobe..
xxx

 

[StephieAck]

Ready or not it happened today!!!
I went into a charity shop and saw a nice skirt and it said size 10, I liked it but looked at the waistband and thought no way, but I wanted to prove to my mind that it wouldnt fit so my concerns would be unfounded...off into the dressing room I go...slip on the skirt and...fasten it up and it fits!!! I fit into a size TEN skirt!!! Obviously I had to buy it, its a H & M skirt and its £2.99 so too right I bought it!!! Here it is...excuse my stupid look on my face, my stupid double chin skin (it doesnt usually look that big!!!) and the over sized vest top...but here is my first size 10...

I had also ordered a skirt from Ebay that came today...thats from H & M too and that is also a size 10, its a generous 10 though so Im not shocked it was advertised as a size 12. But hey ho, who cares...I may not have felt ready to move to size 10's but by God I have! hehe
Steph xx

 

[lotsabeefy]

Steph you look so fabulous! but i get where your coming from...........although i am nowhere near a size 10 and i'm not sure my bones would even allow me to be a size 10, the worry for me is that once we are where we want to be then what do we do? When we where fat we fought to keep our self esteem and the prejudices around us, when we have our ops we fought or are fighting to get the weight off.
But then what? What will we do when we dont have to fight anymore? can we just relax then and live our lives?
Sorry if this is a bit deep xxxx