Is it just me?

[DukeAmirOften]

Hello, me again! Ok so I feel like I am going mad. I have been thinking about wls for some time now, i have been through hell and back with personal issues since I was 11, I dealt with those issues, got the strength to re-build my life. I have 2 beautiful daughters, I became a single mum in 2005, but I worked hard and got myself a degree and am starting social work training doing my Masters in September. However the one last issue in my life is my dam weight, I have done all the diets, I have gone through my gp over the years etc etc etc….but here I am, still over weight, still unhealthy and still not pushing myself forward for things like relationships because I hate the way I look. I want so badly to be a fantastic role model for my girls, I want to walk long distance with them, ride bikes with them and feel like I could do anything with them. So I finally got the courage to see the GP, I was ecstatic to know that she would apply for funding for me for surgery, I found out today her application went off yesterday, a copy of it is on its way to me! But all I can do is sit and wait…but can I? Noooooooooooo!!! It is killing me, I feel like this is it now, my chance to fulfill my dreams and have the life I so desperately want. I am committed, I am determined, but hate the waiting so much. My life is now in someone else’s hands and I hate that thought. I can’t settle, and the whole thing is on my mind 24/7….did any off you feel like this? Is it normal to feel this unsettled and to constantly be thinking about it like this?

Sorry for the rant, just needed to let it out xx :cry:

 

[suepat10]

You are describing EXACTLY how I felt when I knew the GP was going to apply for funding. I was like a terrier sitting by the letterbox waiting for the postman everyday.

Like you, there is so much I want to do with my son and it's just my weight holding me back.

hope you hear soon xx

 

[DukeAmirOften]

Thankyou, glad to know i am not the only one!! And i see you heard about your funding, that is brilliant, you must feel so happy xx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Totally normal but spend your time waiting by getting your head in the right place for surgery and beyond.Get your body strong and healthy too!Best of luck.Maz x

 

[stefanie]

Totally, I was sooo impatient so much so at a support group when I found out I was going to have to wait another six months, I cried in front of everyone and made a show of myself. !!!!!! I looked like a spoilt brat having a tantrum. How embarrassing .
It took me 9 months from seeing gp to operation, but I remained excited throughout and it was all I could think about. Even 7 weeks post op still all I can think about and talk about. I am actually starting to bore myself !!!lol

Good luck with your journey let us know how you get on

 

[DukeAmirOften]

Thank you so much, all your stories truly keep me going (and sane lol). x

 

[phatmomma]

Right, yes you are normal, i obsessed for a good 12 months. What made mine worse was seeing the hospital for an appt 2 weeks after my gp referred me and been told i'd be done in six months, which was in fact total cow poo... However i hope i made use of the time to get my head into everything, research, ask stupid questions and try and get some sort of fitness into my body (who was i kidding?)...

Anyway now to give you inspiration, here is my list of firsts with my two children age 11 & 13:

1. I have walked for miles with my girls (i do walk for miles now)

2. I have ridden my bike with my girls (i wobbled a lot but i was out there)

3. I have gone swimming with one of my girls.

4. I have been on a fair ride with my girls....

My girls are extremely proud of my weight loss and achievements (albeit only 5 stone in 12 months), they very often tell people ''mom was out on her bike today'', ''mom's done this, that and the other''... They are also waiting for me to drop another couple of trouser sizes so that my oldest daughter can share my jeans n everything else lol....

Amazingly how things others take for granted are actually life changing things for us....

 

[21tasha]

Hiya just to say i totally understand how you feel....my weight has always dominated my life.....being big has affected my life in so many ways....i lack confidence to be able to go out for a night out, to go swimming with my children etc...my weight has held me back so many times. To me, losing this weight would be the best thing ever to happen to me....to be able to look at myself and not be disgusted with my size and to be able to do fun things and not be worried that people are staring at me. I want my children not to be embarassed by me and I want to feel i am attractive and not just a blob. I want to go clothes shopping and actually be able to enjoy it - be able to pick up a top and know it will fit. I think about my weight all the time...it really does dominate my life. I am being made redundant from my job at the end of june so i decided i would put some of my redundancy pay towards a bypass. Hopefully this will change my life. Just keep focusing on the future hun, time does go quickly (we are already half the way through the year!) and before you know it you will be having the op

 

[Malinda]

I agree, you must use this time to get your mind and body ready. No matter how ready you think you are, once you have the op you realise it is so much bigger then what you thought. You have to retrain your brain and eating patterns. You need to chew every bite 60 times and drink liquids until you think you are going to burst. But believe me, it is so worth it in the end and you will not regret it.
I have also been over weight my entire life, was a single mom for 7 years and used my weight as an excuse for everything. But I have taken back my power and it is exhilirating.
Best of luck to you and I hope you hear soonest!

 

[Kevin1708]

Maz is right . . . it would not be normal for the thought of WLS not to consume your thoughts . . . good luck xx

 

[janeyf]

I know what you mean. I really think I have become obsessed since having my surgery refused. I am on my 3rd appeal now.

What are your statistics in realtion to your PCT's funding criteria - do you fit it ?


Jane x

 

[DukeAmirOften]

@ Janeyf well i found their new policy on bariatric surgery and they have a long list off criteria. They state NICE guidlines and state people with a bmi of 40 or more are classed as severely obese (my bmi is 41). It then goes on to state that people who are severly obese will have surgery to aid weight loss etc etc. They have a list of further criteria for bmi's off 45 and 50 and then they also state that...'they will consider requests for surgery in regard to patients who meet NICE criteria but fall out outside of the priority groups referred to above'
They also mention they will consider applicants who have engaged in trying to loose weight over 6 months over the last 12 months. So i am keeping everything crossed. My gp warned me though not to let any of my past rule my decision or the pct will not accept my application, but i did tell her i have dealt with all that and am willing to see this through. So she reffered me.
I do hope you get yours sorted, it must be so difficult for you having to go through all this. Why did you have to appeal? x

 

[DukeAmirOften]

Oh and Jane, i have also been refered for physio for my back and posture (due to weight) and have been going to gp for years about weight. I am going to mention sleep apnea testing on my next appointment with her on 13th june as i think i may have it. So anything you can think off keep at it, DONT GIVE UP!!! x

 

[frodoald]

Nope - definitely not on your own!! Since making "the decision" I have not thought of much else - I am driving myself mad!!!