Laugh or you might cry!

[loubyl00]

Oh this pre op diet is so hard. I know I shouldn't moan because I am so near to my surgery!

So I thought, I'm gonna laugh instead of moan today

To cheer us up I thought I'd start a thread with Weight loss jokes, they can be as cheesy (oh I Love Cheese) as you like! Just to make us smile.......

So I'll go first..................

Q: What do you call an overweight monster?
A: OBEAST.

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Q: Why did the dumb man snort Nutri-sweet?
A: He thought it was diet coke. :wave_cry:

 

[anna2131]

wow just noticed you not much taller than me ,ew thats so nice to see another shorty lol gl hun wiv your pre op xx

 

[SARAH S]

A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will almost always throw you out before you can eat too much.

 

[loubyl00]

There were three pigs.

The first pig went to a bar ordered a drink and gulped it down and went to the bathroom and then left.

The second pig went to the same bar ordered a drink and gulped it down and went to the bathroom and then left.

The third pig went to the same bar ordered a drink and gulped it down and was just going to leave and the bartender asked if he was going to the bathroom and the third little pig said "No I'm the little pig that goes weee weee weee all the way home"

 

[Mrs Quiggle]

What do you call a donkey with only 3 legs.

 

[Mrs Quiggle]

A wonky.

 

[mrscinders]

the garlic diet you dont lose weight you ust look thinner at a distance lol

 

[mrscinders]

One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!"
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go un rewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the Hell is this?" he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out.
"Sandy!", he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear? "
She replied with a snicker. "It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!!"