Miserable

[skinnygirlbreakingout]

Well not been on for quite a few weeks. Had my first consult with diet team back in September and consult with surgeon is in three and a half weeks. I've not put any weight on but not lost any more. So disappointment and feel nothing but hatred for myself because I'm potentially sabotaging my chance of surgery. Lost motivation and feel so wretched. I desperately need this and yet I can't seem to even help myself. I get angry because I am weak.

 

[skinnygirlbreakingout]

I don't know what to do. If I go for consult and they don't put me on waiting list but send me off to loose more weight first I am scared I will completely loose it. Sounds stupid but the pressure of an impending surgery date will give me the push I need but I don't think the team work like that. On top of that my parents will be so disappointed in me and I can't bare that

 

[chrisa]

O h wish you could ahve come to the meeting yesterday, it was really good and Toby is so positive, yiou know he has his date for the 13th, give hime a message and chat, we have started a new thread yesterday which you can feel free to join in coffee n chat wls group Dralington think its called now, check it out and post on there, we had 1 sleebver , 2 bypassers 2 balooners, and 5 waiting for ops, keep your chin up draw a line under all this negativity and move forward don't losed this chance you have been given you were sooo positive the last time we met. We are meetimg next in Darlington again same coffee shop at 10.30-12.30 1st December Saturday xx

 

[chrisa]

AS A parent we are always proud of our kids even if they don't do the things we try and encourage them to do we are not always right but not always wrong either and we love our kids no matter what, unconditional love and thats what parents do am sure yours just want you to be fit healthy and above all be happy xx

 

[skinnygirlbreakingout]

Thanks Chrissa. I was too embarrassed to come yesterday because I know how well everyone is doing. Thanks for the kind words. I just need to stop being pathetic and get a grip.

 

[chrisa]

You are not pathetic just scared and lost your way a little bit I was the same when I got my call and managed to shed just under 2 stone before my date over 4 weeks, that was including the liver reduction diet. Hey if I can do it anyone can, no one more cautious ans nervy than me and am sure your parent swould be the 1st to suppport you if they knew how you felt, my parents have been brill, my dad keeps telling people how proud he is of me He has told me couple of times but people keep telling me what he has said so thats what happens. I wish you had come I am losing very very slowly and not made a big difference since last time I saw you had a 3 weeks stall. Take s a braver person to cOME ALONG, no one there to judge you only encourage and spur you on keep posting when you need to talk we are here for ya xx

 

[girlygirl1]

Please don't beat yourself up any longer. People who go for WLS have come to the end of their rope with wonder diets, miracle cures, slimming pills, self-hypnosis CDs, etc.

You have opted for surgery because you feel that you just cannot lose weight without help. For very overweight people - that definition once included me - losing weight is the hardest thing in the world. This is why so many turn to surgery. Who in their right mind would even consider an operation, if they did not believe that they would never ever be able to move forward, without it?

Of course you are finding it terribly hard to lose weight, particularly as the waiting-time drags on and on. You opted for surgery BECAUSE you need help to lose weight. Making the decision to go under the knife does not magically bestow upon you superhuman dieting powers! You are still the same person, with the same difficulties. You are one of countless thousands of people - millions, perhaps, the world over - who have a problem with food, weight and body image.

If I could give one piece of dietary advice, it would be this. Cut out sugar and white flour. Watch your carb intake like a hawk. You'll be advised to restrict carbs after surgery, anyway, and will probably need to keep carb intake low for the rest of your life.

Most overweight people are addicted to carbohydrates - sugars, starches. Sweet things, savoury things. Sugar, which is absorbed into the bloodstream superfast, triggers cravings and binge-eating. You have nothing to lose by experimenting for a few days - preferably a week. Cut sugar out completely, try not to eat pasta or rice or bread. Instead enjoy lean meat, chicken, pork, fish and seafood with plenty of green or low carb veggies on the side. You may be amazed by the results in terms of appetite reduction.

Good luck in whatever you decide x

 

[skinnygirlbreakingout]

Thank you girly girl. I appreciate the advice xx

 

[janeyf]

Hi Skinnygirl

I applied for surgery in December 2009 and am still at it. I have already had 3 refusals but was given a lifeline by them in May this year saying that if I could really prove to them that I have learnt my lesson about bad eatoing habits and lose just over 2 stone, then I would most likely be put forward for surgery.

Well - guess how much weight I've lost - none !!!!!

I am surely not wired up right. I have fought all this time and now I have the chance, I blow it. I have an appointment with them on the 27th November to see how I've done.

My husband told me last week after listening to a discussion on Radio 5 live about WLS that he was really worried and didn't want me to have it done. This has thrown me again now.

I am a total and utter coward when it comes to hospitals and operations but I thought I was sorted about this in my mind. I think the other thing is that although I have a BMI of 52, apart from aches and pains and general struggling with excess fat, I am fairly well, and I am terrified that even if I am lucky enough to survive the surgery, what if I become really ill with other problems. At least I can live some sort of life as I am and enjoy a lot of aspects of my life. What if I end up with horrific gastric problems or deficiencies that are disabling. Am I saboutaging my chances because I am subcounsciously scared of all these things.

Oooooohhhh heeeeelp ! I am so confused

What are we going to do with ourselves ????

Jane x

 

[skinnygirlbreakingout]

It is a lot to think about Jane. I'm in a lucky position that the waiting list for North Tees is only a few months so should count myself lucky. I'm sorry you have had to wait so long. I know that this is what i want so I know it's not that stopping me. I just let myself get overwhelmed. I'm feeling more optimistic today. We have to have faith in our own strength and not underestimate our ability or beat ourselves with those big negative sticks. I hope you can decide what you want to so and that you have some support. Thank you for your message and please let me know how you get on. My appointment is the same day as yours xx

 

[chrisa]

Well done Caroline think you have turned a corner. Go for it we are all behind you.

Janey f i was like you I was 46 when I had my op was over 300lbs as well look at my stats very similar to your own. I had no medical problems, just allergies to animal fur and hayever. Once I got under way at hosp they decided I had sleep apnoea and had to have a sleeping machine for bout a year, when I ahd used the machine for 6 months I had my bypass op, I have very few problems, It is only recent really that I have had the odd poroblem with my tummy, I think its more down to stress at work. I have not looked back since the op day. I always did exercise and my weight never stopped me doing anyhting really, but i did used to worry bout getting in a plane seat and going on rides at theme parks etc. If you have the chance and you really don't think its for you then sort it because there will be some poor soul out there desperate for it, however if you feel you would benefit from the op and speaking as a one who knows you will love the new body, it is a marvellous feeling when people comment on your body saying how well you look and how much have you lost. Its upto you but you must decide and soon. xx

 

[rickysmrs]

You can do ot Caroline take on board Girlygirls advice and push yourself that bit more for that bit longer xxx

 

[angiemason]

hi Caroline i just wanted to say don't give up and i totally understand you being embarrassed to go but really that is how we got into such a state in the first place i remember many times not going to weight watchers slimming world rosemary conley all for those same reasons everyone else seemed to be doing well and i didn't want to face the questions why i was letting myself down. I am very pleased to read you are feeling more positive today though take all the help you can get and try to think why you went for this in the first place because you can't do it on your own xx
janeyF i agree with Chrisa you must decide whether you really want it but if you do then really go for it i was just fat and healthy (or so i thought ) for many years and all of a sudden i had diabetes, sleep apnea, high cholesterol and have rheumatoid arthiritis and fybromyalgia so went down hill really fast, the doc advised me angela one day you just won't wake up that was my turning point and i truly believe evryone has one xx
good luck ladies take care x

 

[skinnygirlbreakingout]

Thank you so much for all the supportive and helpful comments. I forgot how powerful using the forum everyday can be to help you feel not alone, understood and supported. Maybe that's where I went wrong. You are all so inspirational and that's what motivates me to change. If others can and are succeeding in becoming happier healthier versions of themselves then I can too. I'm worth the effort. Lots of love to you all xxx

 

[chrisa]

You are special to us Caroline, It was lovely meeting you in Durham at the last wls meeting hope you can make the Darlington one on 1st December. have a word with Toby he is coming. xx Keep your chin up lovely you gunna be just fine. xx

 

[mollythedogsmum]

It is a lot to think about Jane. I'm in a lucky position that the waiting list for North Tees is only a few months so should count myself lucky. I'm sorry you have had to wait so long. I know that this is what i want so I know it's not that stopping me. I just let myself get overwhelmed. I'm feeling more optimistic today. We have to have faith in our own strength and not underestimate our ability or beat ourselves with those big negative sticks. I hope you can decide what you want to so and that you have some support. Thank you for your message and please let me know how you get on. My appointment is the same day as yours xx

Hi sweetie x has anyone (family)helped u do ur diet? U deffo need support. It's not easy but if someone does healthy eating with you, u get motivated x

 

[gonnabethinner]

Hi.Caroline. don't be so hard on yourself. We all feel like you hune let's be honest if we could stick at a diet we wouldn't be going down this surgery road. I too used to beat myself up over not being.able to stick with the plan knew what I should do but couldn't do it. It was like somebody would come and make me stupid in the evenings. And force feed me rubbish. And I would rant at myself and say why am I doing this to myself. My advice to you hune don't be too hard on.yourself I stopped buying my trigger foods. I used to sayoh the kids deserve it but really I was making them like me unhealthy too. Go to coffee with chrisa hune they won't judge you they have ALL been where you are goodluck hune. Keep us all posted.

 

[chrisa]

We are all here for you when you are ready to come and share with us, you will know when the time is right xx

 

[skinnygirlbreakingout]

Thank you Chrissa x

 

[janeyf]

Thanks ladies for your messages. Girlygirl I really hope you are successful at your meeting. Do keep us up to date won't you.
.
Chrisa, I agree with you. I'm just having a panic I think but I think the decision will be taken out of my hands with not acheiving the weight loss !!

Isn't it mad really that you have to prove you can lose weight to get surgery. Would we seriously consider this road if we could do it on our own ?

Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes xx