Carolined
New Member
so what happened today- i hit my target, a 38lbs loss!
Everyone very happy. passed all the tests, perfect candidate to go ahead after 5 hours of sitting on a chair in the waiting room I was finally put in a gown, saw surgeon and anaesthetist.
Everyone all very happy, told I was the perfect patient. So I go down to surgery, get put under...
I wake up and see the clock- I had been in for 20 mins? I manage to ask has it been done? "No, but we need to wait for your mum to come back" I start crying, i mean this was the saddest I think i may have ever felt. I couldnt stop saying "but I weighed and measure everything". I coulndt look at anyone. It all felt like a dream, this couldnt be happening. I did everything I was told to. Why has this happened. I felt like i had fallen into a deep dark hole.
If you really know me this wont sound "dramatic", I needed this and had worked my ass off to get it. I am told my liver was just too big, I was utterly confused as i had followed my pre op diet TO THE LETTER. They call my mum in and explain everything to her.
Turns out they are 100% happy with everything I had done and they could tell I had stuck to the diet, however I am a bit of an freak, only the 4th ever person to have the problem I have- i have an enormous liver, they just couldn't get around it, not even if they opened me up fully. Nothing I could have done about it they kept telling me.
This doesn't help me feel better, but it helps that no one thinks i cheated, because i really didn't. I am really really sad. They are going to try the op again in 4 weeks, but they want me to loose another 2 stone 3 lbs. Can you imagine how that feels? A month to loose that much, god knows how it'll happen as in the 3 weeks on the pre op I only lost 18lbs. And that was with exercise. They are giving me 4 weeks to loose 32.
I feel sad and empty. What do you do, say and feel when your best isn't good enough? I had ZERO control over this issue the dr said, but that doesn't help right now. I wont stop the diet. But I just am hopeless that my liver wont get any smaller.
This journey is impossibly difficult. I have given up smoking, drinking and obviously lots of food. I dont know what else I can do.
The team will be calling me on Monday. I am expecting to be put on the milk diet. I have been on 2 slim fast and one 400 cal evening meal (with limits on protein 100g and carb limit of 2 small new potatoes, 3 tbsp of veg).
In the past year I have researched this whole project, i've watched countless videos on youtube, I felt totally prepared.
I wasn't prepared for this.
Everyone very happy. passed all the tests, perfect candidate to go ahead after 5 hours of sitting on a chair in the waiting room I was finally put in a gown, saw surgeon and anaesthetist.
Everyone all very happy, told I was the perfect patient. So I go down to surgery, get put under...
I wake up and see the clock- I had been in for 20 mins? I manage to ask has it been done? "No, but we need to wait for your mum to come back" I start crying, i mean this was the saddest I think i may have ever felt. I couldnt stop saying "but I weighed and measure everything". I coulndt look at anyone. It all felt like a dream, this couldnt be happening. I did everything I was told to. Why has this happened. I felt like i had fallen into a deep dark hole.
If you really know me this wont sound "dramatic", I needed this and had worked my ass off to get it. I am told my liver was just too big, I was utterly confused as i had followed my pre op diet TO THE LETTER. They call my mum in and explain everything to her.
Turns out they are 100% happy with everything I had done and they could tell I had stuck to the diet, however I am a bit of an freak, only the 4th ever person to have the problem I have- i have an enormous liver, they just couldn't get around it, not even if they opened me up fully. Nothing I could have done about it they kept telling me.
This doesn't help me feel better, but it helps that no one thinks i cheated, because i really didn't. I am really really sad. They are going to try the op again in 4 weeks, but they want me to loose another 2 stone 3 lbs. Can you imagine how that feels? A month to loose that much, god knows how it'll happen as in the 3 weeks on the pre op I only lost 18lbs. And that was with exercise. They are giving me 4 weeks to loose 32.
I feel sad and empty. What do you do, say and feel when your best isn't good enough? I had ZERO control over this issue the dr said, but that doesn't help right now. I wont stop the diet. But I just am hopeless that my liver wont get any smaller.
This journey is impossibly difficult. I have given up smoking, drinking and obviously lots of food. I dont know what else I can do.
The team will be calling me on Monday. I am expecting to be put on the milk diet. I have been on 2 slim fast and one 400 cal evening meal (with limits on protein 100g and carb limit of 2 small new potatoes, 3 tbsp of veg).
In the past year I have researched this whole project, i've watched countless videos on youtube, I felt totally prepared.
I wasn't prepared for this.
So chin up hun you can do it!!
