waynetta
I'm on the losers Rd.
I have already posted this on the end of the Tough love thread, but wanted to start another thread to continue the debate, but also to ask the question is it tough love or patronising?
Your completely right Sam ( and this is only my opinion), you don't have the privilege of an opinion on post operative eating habits, until you have experienced the pain & anguish of such invasive surgery, for yourself. Until you have had the surgery, I personally (and this is only my opinion) would rather you did not comment on what we do or do not eat. Some of us don’t want to be size 8/10 anorexic, because weight and food are no longer going to be allowed to dominate our every waking moment. I am not willing to deny myself anything that I may or may not want, as I have expunged all the guilt, which we have all accumulated over the years, through eating the forbidden fruits.
I feel very disappointed at your comments, as I did not realise that you were so self-righteous. I have learnt through the years “those who live in glass houses should not throw stones”, because I’m sure you would not like people to make you feel a failure and self-conscious if you do not adhere to a strict eating regime, once you’ve had your surgery.
In my mind (and again, this is only my opinion) a friend is someone who does not thrust ones inadequacies into ones face. A friend would understand that sometimes being a good friend is not about pointing out failings, but finding a positive, as there is always a positive somewhere, if only you can be bothered to look for it. In my case the positive was that I only ate the burger meat and not the bun & sauce nor any sides. Also I will not be craving the offending item again, as I have quashed the craving by not denying myself. If I had not indulged, the desire would have mushroomed into something larger than just a longing for one item of junk food.
However, you seemed to have had a knee jerk reaction to something that you have read and not understood. As it is not guilt that makes me record my daily food intake, it is merely an aid to see how much I do actually eat and what I should be doing to improve my bad eating habits. I do realise my own failings and do not need to be reminded of them. I am a work in progress and the surgery was only the beginning of a long and harsh journey towards my desired goal. Things do not nor cannot just change over night.
I feel that this is an issue that should be and has already been debated publicly and I’m sure many will have differing opinions. I am open to constructive criticism, but not to being patronised, as if I was a child. I have felt like others, who should understand, were judging me and my eating habits for a while now and I have had enough of that from the world at large. I come on to minimins to get advice and support not criticism. I don’t believe I am the only person who may feel this way. This is not a fallout or dig it is merely a response. I am here for support and to give support and I hope that all of my friends on here continue to be my friends and I will continue wholeheartedly to support you all.
I have not pm’d you Sam as I want to get this out on the forum and debated properly and truthfully. Tbh I did not think you should have written what you did to me, as you are not in this position yet to comment on this side of the wls journey quite yet, I will however, always value your advice friendship.
Your completely right Sam ( and this is only my opinion), you don't have the privilege of an opinion on post operative eating habits, until you have experienced the pain & anguish of such invasive surgery, for yourself. Until you have had the surgery, I personally (and this is only my opinion) would rather you did not comment on what we do or do not eat. Some of us don’t want to be size 8/10 anorexic, because weight and food are no longer going to be allowed to dominate our every waking moment. I am not willing to deny myself anything that I may or may not want, as I have expunged all the guilt, which we have all accumulated over the years, through eating the forbidden fruits.
I feel very disappointed at your comments, as I did not realise that you were so self-righteous. I have learnt through the years “those who live in glass houses should not throw stones”, because I’m sure you would not like people to make you feel a failure and self-conscious if you do not adhere to a strict eating regime, once you’ve had your surgery.
In my mind (and again, this is only my opinion) a friend is someone who does not thrust ones inadequacies into ones face. A friend would understand that sometimes being a good friend is not about pointing out failings, but finding a positive, as there is always a positive somewhere, if only you can be bothered to look for it. In my case the positive was that I only ate the burger meat and not the bun & sauce nor any sides. Also I will not be craving the offending item again, as I have quashed the craving by not denying myself. If I had not indulged, the desire would have mushroomed into something larger than just a longing for one item of junk food.
However, you seemed to have had a knee jerk reaction to something that you have read and not understood. As it is not guilt that makes me record my daily food intake, it is merely an aid to see how much I do actually eat and what I should be doing to improve my bad eating habits. I do realise my own failings and do not need to be reminded of them. I am a work in progress and the surgery was only the beginning of a long and harsh journey towards my desired goal. Things do not nor cannot just change over night.
I feel that this is an issue that should be and has already been debated publicly and I’m sure many will have differing opinions. I am open to constructive criticism, but not to being patronised, as if I was a child. I have felt like others, who should understand, were judging me and my eating habits for a while now and I have had enough of that from the world at large. I come on to minimins to get advice and support not criticism. I don’t believe I am the only person who may feel this way. This is not a fallout or dig it is merely a response. I am here for support and to give support and I hope that all of my friends on here continue to be my friends and I will continue wholeheartedly to support you all.
I have not pm’d you Sam as I want to get this out on the forum and debated properly and truthfully. Tbh I did not think you should have written what you did to me, as you are not in this position yet to comment on this side of the wls journey quite yet, I will however, always value your advice friendship.
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