Regrets? Would you do it again?

[Julia56]

I'm really not sure yet. 9 weeks post bypass and I have lost 22kg and I haven't found anything I can't eat yet, but there is a but and it is a big one.

All the medical staff have told me I was really unlucky and the problems I have had are incredibly rare.

The surgery appeared to go well but I ended up in a lot of pain during the swallow test and the pain did not go away. I was taken back down to theatre that evening, all the joints were checked and I don't think they found any problems. I felt fine the following morning but in the afternoon the pains started again and childbirth was a cinch compared to this. Emergency open surgery that evening to repair a bowel perforation on the upper stomach limb that had been missed and didn't show up on the swallow test.

6 days on ICU and a further two weeks on the ward. ICU was terrifying because I was hallucinating and thought the staff were dangerous. Discharged with wound infection and extended 2 week prescription for antibiotics and a booking with the district nursing team to change the dressings. Gradual healing came to a screaming stop about 2 weeks ago when my skin started reacting to the dressings and a wierd weeping wound appeared that is showing no signs of healing.

I am in pain, itching all over, have compromised mobility and discomfort sitting upright, can't drive, can't look after my grandchildren, can't go swimming, can't even walk round to the neighbours for a coffee and have cabin fever from being stuck indoors. Thank goodness for my husband who is doing a sterling job of looking after me. I'm hoping that in a few months I will be able to look back on this as a minor blip in the bigger picture but right now I am thoroughly fed up. First post discharge appointment with consultant next Tuesday.

Anyone else had a really rocky start? I could do with some empathy and to be able to talk some of this through.

Thanks for your patience if you read as far as this.

 

[Hannah2]

Oh Julia you really are going through it! I really hope that you start to heal soon and that you get through this as soon as possible. I think it is difficult to say/comment unless people have had issues themselves, I am sure people that have will comment for you. What I have learnt is that although a week, two weeks, a month feel like an eternity when you are recovering, in the grand scheme of things it is short term compared to the full journey we are on.

I also got a bit of cabin fever when I was recovering but also started to feel that I didn't want to go out into the outside world - I felt safe at home! I think it is important to acknowledge that and when you are mobile make sure you do go out, within your limits of course.

Hopefully once you are feeling better/healing and you start to see the benefits your view of it all will adjust. Take care.

 

[FeeBee]

I'm not surprised if you've had some moments of regret, you've really been through the mill.
I have had a pretty straightforward journey post op with this but I have been through a similar experience in the past. I think it can take a long time to get over the shock of becoming so unwell so suddenly, whatever the circumstances. It feels like your entire life has changed in an instant and unless you've been through it, it can be hard for others to understand. Like you I lost my mobility and my independence because for a very long time I couldn't be left on my own. I couldn't go anywhere or even cook for myself and I felt like I was melting into the sofa because all I did day in and out was sit on it and watch TV. Bodies are amazing things through and they do all they can to recover. I couldn't talk after I became ill and now no one can shut me up!

Cabin fever is a nightmare but it sounds like you have good people around you and you are doing all you can to help yourself. I can remember times in hospital when I couldn't see how I'd ever get my life back but I did and you will too. Keep talking to us and good look at your next appointment. You're a strong woman who has been through a lot x

 

[Nearly there-1]

I am rally sorry you have had a tough time of it following your operation. It will get better and when you have lost the weight and your health has improved it will be worth it.
I have experienced problems following my sleeve operation but have lost the weight and feel its been well worth it.
Hope you feel better soon and good luck with your continuing journey. It takes a lot of courage and strength to make the decision to put yourself through major surgery to improve your health and well being and that trength will take you forward.

 

[Julia56]

Thanks for the responses. You are right FeeBee, part of it is the shock of suddenly being so ill and you have to stop your brain going down the guilt route of having brought it on myself having got so heavy in the first place.

 

[FeeBee]

I don't think you deliberately wanted to get to the stage of needing WLS though did you? I mean, if you eat all the pies nonestop for years on the basis that you'd eventually get a magic op that would fix it all with no effort on your part then you might, possibly, have brought this on yourself but we both know you didn't do that. You got to the point of needing WLS for various complicated reasons that you've had to examine and get your head around whilst jumping through as many hoops at the NHS deem necessary. You've been unlucky because stuff went wrong but no one did that on purpose either. So yes, you are right, you have to try and not let yourself go down the route of blaming yourself. It won't make you feel positive about healing or making the most out of your tool

 

[Oopseydaisy]

. . .

 

[Julia56]

Here is an update if it is of interest to anyone.

I'm now driving again, have no food intolerances or other food issues and I've lost 5 stones without the ravenous, all consuming hunger that I used to get when dieting. We've even held a couple of dinner parties! Obviously I only eat a very small portion of the main course and don't have any alcohol but it is still fun I can also look after my grandchildren as long as my husband is there to help.

The wound has still not healed but nobody seems to be worried by this. I have a haematoma that the consultant says could take months to be absorbed by my body. Until this happens daily dressing changes are a norm and I can't swim or lift anything much. Frustrating and inconvenient as I am disabled so swimming is my main source of exercise.

Generally I'm getting on with life and trying to put the horrific experiences behind me, although I have been put in touch with an ICU support group to help deal with the ICU psychosis that still haunts me. Thank goodness for my greenhouse but I'm not sure who is going to eat all the food I'm growing!

I hope everyone else is coping and my experience doesn't scare anyone still awaiting surgery. What happened to me was extremely unlucky and rare.

 

[SAM55]

Haven't been much on the site for a while so had missed your earlier posts... Reading them I was so pleased that your latest one shows a marked improvement. It was a traumatic thing to have to have gone through and I am pleased they are offering you support with the ICU psychosis.

Congrats on the loss and I hope life continues to improve for you. x