Restriction battle - round 9 LOL

[top_kat]

well, today I'm trundling back up to birmingham for another fill in my restriction battle.

This for me is fill number 9, my 3rd in 6 weeks (2 weeks apart which is my providers minimum) the last 2 have made no difference whatsoever in fact, they have, but not in a good way, as I'm now feeling hunger from early first thing, whereas even pre-band I would never want anything breakfast wise or feel hungry until at least 11-12ish.

So . . .round 9 . . .

PLEASE let it give me some restriction. PLEASE don't let me put more weight on again being on liquids only after this fill.

PLEASE let me get back down into the 13's and get past this damn barrier that I can't seem to breakthrough! I've spent the past 8 weeks going up and down the same 11lbs, putting on, losing, putting on . . .



Getting a tad fed up now. :break_diet: <<< I love that little guy lol

 

[louloumoo]

Good luck good luck.... Think it's about bloody time!!

 

[Butterfly_lady]

Fingers crossed for you lets hope this one is THE one

 

[Banderbird]

Good luck TK. Hopefully it's lucky 9.

 

[top_kat]

im here... Weighed in with my +3lb thanks to the liquids/mash after the fill 2 weeks ago. Just waiting for my fill

Depressing

 

[sarahrob]

I really hope this is the one for you x

 

[moomoo1]

how long do you have to do liquids for our clinic is day of fill liquids then back to normal is this same for you? honestly hun id be tempted to ask for a largish fill to see if it helps of it doesn't something seriously doesn't seem right you shuld get some restriction after each fill for a few days at least . really feel for you x

 

[top_kat]

how long do you have to do liquids for our clinic is day of fill liquids then back to normal is this same for you? honestly hun id be tempted to ask for a largish fill to see if it helps of it doesn't something seriously doesn't seem right you shuld get some restriction after each fill for a few days at least . really feel for you x

Our provider we have to do 3 days liquid, 3 days puree/mash and then back to normal food.

I've been in there ages today, we talked a lot about the band, the issues and the complete lack of restriction. She was explaining the type of pain that I would feel if food got stuck etc with restriction and all of the things she asked, I answered "no, not experienced that"

Then she asked me if after any of my fills had I been able to feel a difference at the time when drinking the water or when it was being done. And I hadn't.

So they decided to do a diaphragmatic fill.

I was at 11mls in my band. They couldn't find the port, so 5 needles later they were finally in - they put in 0.5mls and then made me sit up and drink - couldn't feel any real difference. So while sitting up, they then proceeded to put in another 0.5mls.

They wouldn't normally go anywhere near putting in 1ml at this point but she said she wanted me to feel the difference so put in some extra, said she wouldn't leave it in but so I could see that restriction was possible.

As it was, when she had put a full ml in, I was still able to drink but I could actually feel a difference, I felt it "sit" and then proceed through the band - something I have not really had and certainly not at this point. I had a difficult time back in March mid fills when everything went super tight but disappeared overnight, and they think that was as a result of doing something exercise wise.

Anyway, she decided that because I was tolerating the water but could feel a difference, she was going to leave the whole 1ml in my band.

So, I'm now at 12mls. She said that I should be able to have portions about a quarter of what I've been having and that it should *should* help with the hunger issues.

We did discuss the amount of exercise I'm doing and that it has increased my hunger, but she said with this amount in the band, it should help. I shouldn't have a need after eating to continue to eat, shouldn't still feel hungry and well . . .we shall see as they have been saying that for months LOL

But, I felt a difference when she was filling the band and that was the first time EVER lol

I then sat in the waiting room, talking to some long term banders, both who'd had defills for surgery/illness but were building back up, both talking about the amount of weight they had put back on.

Someone in the waiting room commented about losing weight but putting it back on with a band. And they were saying that over the few years they've had it, they've lost 4 or 5 stone, but have now put on almost 1 1/2 or 2 stone since having fluid taken out.

She asked me how much Id lost with my band and I said "10 stone in 13 months"

She sat there in complete shock lol

It was an eye opener because the things that they were talking about in terms of feeling different things with foods, I've not experienced.

I'm hoping this big fill, will help. Not that I want to experience the bad stuff, but that I need to get back on track and continue the weight loss.

I'm struggling mind set wise with regards to how I look and feel. I'm struggling mindset wise with regards to my skin. I've booked an appointment with the GP but its not for 10 days. I've got skin issues, severe itching and a continual pain in my lower back and hips where my skin drops down so much.

So, I need to get positively in place with my band . . .and hoping that this fill will help.

what I don't want is for it to be too tight. So now that I'm back in the office, I'm just going to attempt a cup of milky coffee to see how it goes. Didn't want to risk drinking in the car in case it made a re-appearance

So, keeping everything crossed.

 

[slaz]

Hope this works for you Kat. I feel as though I am following behind you and experiencing similar feelings so I will be very interested in hearing how you get on. I've only had 3 fills but they have all been quite big, 3 then 2.5 then 2, making a total of 7.5 in an 11 ml band. I am due for fill number 4 in two weeks so we will see what they recommend then.
I put on half a pound this week which hasn't pleased me!

 

[moomoo1]

sounds promising the feeling with the fluid I feel at every fill that's how I know I have it right , go easy with meat when you eat again as iv found that always to be the most problematic thing for getting stuck . if im honest I don't really see the need for so long on liquid/mush after but each provider different .. you have done incredibly well I do think with the band once you have big defills it can lead to weight gain I certainly gained loads back but if your in the right headspace it works so well id have never have had my lil one without mine and still feel proud of the original loss

 

[sarahrob]

I really hope the sensation during the fill was a sign of things to come and you find that elusive restriction. I've got everything crossed for you x

 

[top_kat]

Slaz,

I think what is hard is seeing those numbers creep up towards the maximum amount of the band and not having felt a difference or finding that restriction. I did express these concerns today, (one of the reasons she wanted to do the diaphragmatic fill to show me that it is possible!) and she said out of over 2500 patients they have with a band currently, they only have 2 people who have the full amount in their band. Some aren't far off it, but that restriction on my size band which is a 14 kicks in between normally around 8-11. I think we see these figures and as we aren't there yet that its concerning.

What makes it harder is then putting on weight too. Yes I know I've achieved a lot and I'm proud that I've done it without restriction, but Im well aware of just how easily I can lose that motivation and focus. I've had that for 12 months, and the past month or so, its gone - taking time off for holiday was my downfall, but the not having restriction was what was behind it, because if I had it, then I wouldn't have been able to, or felt it necessary to eat so much on holiday, especially with the hunger etc

So, its about finding that balance.

My fills have been spaced out.

1st fill at 5 weeks 5mls (sept 12)
2nd fill 2 weeks later 1 ml (early Oct 12)
3rd fill 3 months later (Jan 13) 1.5mls
4th fill 1 month later (feb 13) 1.5 mls - up to 9mls at that point
5th fill 2 months later (April 13) 0.5mls
6th fill 2 months later (June 13) 0.5mls
7th Fill 2.5 months later (Sept 13) 0.5mls
8th fill 2 weeks later (sept 13) 0.5mls
9th fill 2 weeks later today 1ml.

I didn't need fills before because I was losing weight, often 3-4lbs in a week and as such didn't rush them. But I think what an issue has been was that when I had them, they were such small amounts that it didn't make a significant difference so I had a small amount and then left it and any help from that fill just was wasted because the next one was too far away.

This is why I've now had 3 2 weeks apart, but also, she wanted today to take me to a point where I felt a difference, not just putting in 0.5mls cos I'd been going up by 0.5mls.

I've gone up and down the same 10lbs in the 14 stone range for almost 8 weeks, and them writing down today that I had put on 2lbs since my visit 2 weeks ago, when I'd lost 7lbs from the previous visit 2 weeks before I found depressed me.

Its that feeling - that fear of failing. Of it all going wrong, or that in X amount of months that 10 stone I've lost will be a part of me again.

I know it won't, but its a hard mindset to get out of. Plus Im battling so much with the feelings of disgust with my skin, and the other issues its causing that it makes me feel down and that for me is in the past, when I would emotionally eat. And then I can't emotionally eat and its a whole vicious circle.

I'm positive that I haven't given in to the emotional eating or the crooked thinking that eating crap will help me. It doesn't. It won't. But just once, it would be nice to have a helping hand from the band . . .

Have you spoken to your provider Slaz about your concerns? its a battle for certain, and I think its quite hard when you see people with a few mls, eating half a chicken drumstick and not wanting to eat for 24 hours after lol (exaggeration I know, but it IS hard!)

Hang in there hun we WILL get there!

 

[louloumoo]

Top cat, despite your own on going disappointment with restriction and the battle with food, u are always able to offer comforting words of concern and motivation to others.. Your an all round gooden, just not as round as before!

 

[top_kat]

LOLOL that made me laugh out loud LOL (office will think I am mad) lol

 

[slaz]

Kat, to be fair my provider has probably wanted to go faster than me with the fills but I was happy with the steady loss and to be honest I was happy with not feeling any restriction as it allowed me to eat normally especially when on holiday in France with friends who know nothing about my surgery, nobody does, but losses have slowed and I would like a bit more help from the band. After my fill in two weeks it will be January before I can have another one as November is full of family events and my provider takes December off from clinics, so it will be a joint decision as to how much to put in this time but like you I am starting to get concerned that I will soon be approaching full and as yet nothing.
It is obvious from your postings on here that you have the determination but it is also obvious that it is a real struggle for you, I guess that is why we post on here, to give ourselves more focus as well as supporting each other.

 

[top_kat]

My provider stops fills after the first week of December too, just in case there's any issues with being over filled. So yes, I can see how this next fill is important.

I've been very much like you, not wanted to rush, and not needed to when the weight comes off on its own, and it is for me, about finding a balance. The way I've gone up and down over the same few lb recently is showing me that in the future, I could maintain LOL but not at still being away from target.

I hope this next fill will help you - sometimes we just need a helping hand! I've had the battle in my head that I've managed to lose so far without restriction, why do I need it now, and that battle again goes onto the "FAILURE" thoughts - but when you've lived with those thoughts all of your life, they don't just disappear with a bit of plastic around the stomach!

 

[moomoo1]

your so far from a failure but I think we do all have the thoughts on the positive side you have lost so much without restriction once you get you should get the last of what you want off I really hope it works does your nurse sit you up with needle insitue and make you drink at every fill? if no then you need to ask for this as greatest way to feel the restriction

 

[top_kat]

no they haven't, this was the first time I've had a diaphragmatic fill and been drinking while filing, she did it to prove I can reach restriction with my band, but wasn't expecting to get and leave in a whole ml lol

 

[Banderbird]

Sounds like a very interesting day, I hope this time the big fill has done the trick!

Fingers crossed for you

 

[Val]

Kat, excuse a newbies naïve comment ..but following your story...you have a band but have never felt restriction...How is that possible?
Im hoping at my age that this is the tool that will help me and finally be able to loose my weight..But I am hungry most of the time, well I fancy food all the time so really hoping the band will restrict me...is it common for bands not to help with appetite restriction??