Sam's Musings

[puddytats]

Have just made the teens on my weekly weigh in. It was eight years ago since I was that weight.

Had hoped it would have been last week as i was nearly there but not quite.

It has been an exhausting week physically and emotionally but have not wanted to stuff my face to kill the emotions or try to raise my energy levels. Could have really done with a stiff drink last night though!!!

Ate out for the first time on Tuesday when I met up with my daughter. Played very safe as I was only into second day of eating proper food and had a child's portion of cottage pie and baked beans - didn't want to be puking in public, although happily so far puking has been off the menu I refused the chips that went with it so they slopped on extra beans before I could stop them, which I didn't manage. She is vegan so I had no designs on her meal

Was also able to walk around shopping centre quite easily without wanting to sit down. We went to see Bridget Jones's Baby which was hilarious, and stored a happy memory of one of our rare times together, not knowing if/when the next one will be as she is off to live in New Zealand today.

Was at a conference yesterday (had gone prepared with my own food) as I knew most of it would be sandwiches. I happily ignored them and the cake, but the sausage rolls looked amazing, but I resisted...

Went for a longer walk on Thursday with a friend and managed a few hills (slopes) without as much effort, but have been struggling with dizzy spells, indoors and out. It could be blood pressure which is now being monitored, or it could be vertigo, but it is very disconcerting

Have ordered some more short sleeve t-shirts in two smaller sizes and smaller knickers. Need to declutter the wardrobe again!

Finding drinking easier now so not as dehydrated as i was, but have developed very sore gums, which is probably down to some mineral deficiency. Have dentist on Thursday anyway so can discuss this with her.

My dietician wants to keep me on Forceval (yuk) and i have only just realised you have to leave an hour after food before taking it duh! I normally take all vits when I have my breakfast, and waiting 30 mins before a drink is bad enough but having to remember to wait another half hour before the Forceval is going to be a real pain in the arse, as i am thinking about or doing other things by then...

Putting my feet up today for a well earned rest

Whoop whoop well done!

I've had no issues with forceval. As I'm back at work and can't wait an hour after eating to have it, I just pack up all the meds and take them with me to work! Mine is a tablet not liquid - unure which you have. I see "our" dietitian this week - oh joy!

 

[SAM55]

Book group tonight and took my own food as it was pumpkin soup, so not a lot of protein there, and not a lover of soup at the best of times. Then the cakes came out - it was difficult to say no to my friend's homemade fruit cake which I know from past experience is absolutely yummy But I did, even when people who should know better kept offering it to me

 

[SAM55]

Whoop whoop well done!

I've had no issues with forceval. As I'm back at work and can't wait an hour after eating to have it, I just pack up all the meds and take them with me to work! Mine is a tablet not liquid - unure which you have. I see "our" dietitian this week - oh joy!

Mine is soluble. Tried to get pharmacy to change it (they showed me the capsules which looked as big as suppositories) but they wouldn't so have to wait to see GP to ask him to change it for next time. Couldn't face it today so took a Seven Seas. It wasn't so bad when I hadn't realised you had to wait an hour and I took it with breakfast.

Have fun with M. Because they sent me an early appointment for last week which was too early given my two hour travel (and should be on my records as I have told them enough times) I don't have that pleasure until the end of November.

 

[FeeBee]

Book group tonight and took my own food as it was pumpkin soup, so not a lot of protein there, and not a lover of soup at the best of times. Then the cakes came out - it was difficult to say no to my friend's homemade fruit cake which I know from past experience is absolutely yummy But I did, even when people who should know better kept offering it to me

Well done on sticking to your guns. It's hard when people don't take no for an answer x

 

[starryeyed]

well done on resisting the cake! x

 

[SAM55]

Went to the pool for hydro today (teacher off because of half term so it was DIY). Swam a little bit further than I did on Monday before I ground to a halt!

I think the virus thing that has been doing the rounds is finally getting a grip on me as I am getting very thirsty! More like sinusitis than a cold. Usually goes to my chest but this is second time this has happened this year. Took weeks to go last time. Thick head, runny nose and lack of oomph

The Black Dog has also settled on my shoulders, which after last week and all that has happened in the past couple of months isn't surprising. Struggling to keep up with OU because of brain fog, and too many other things to do.

Also having a tooth out tomorrow so can't imagine I am going to feel any better in the next few days...

Have a 4 day break booked a week on Saturday. Not far away but then I don't have to go far for nice places as am on Yorkshire Dales/Lakes borders, but definitely a change of scene and there is a lake and a spa, plus mountain scenery. Going on my own and looking forward to that. Hopefully it will also give me an opportunity to catch up with my OU as my assignment is due in on 17th Nov.

Mainlining on baked beans again as bunged up after trying some egg fried rice on Monday night.

 

[LittleMissNom]

Spa break sounds like just what you need! Well done on the swimming
Hope you feel a bit better once the cold has passed on and food is doing its job.
Best of luck with your assignment and showing the black dog the door.x

 

[FeeBee]

I'm right there with you on the sinusitis front, it's totally rubbish and a tooth out on top? I think you really do need a break. I hope you have a great time.
Maybe time to chat to the GP? I have reoccurring depression and have resigned myself to going and asking for help once I spot the signs now. It doesn't get any easier but for me I have found an antidepressant that makes a difference and I access therapy too. Your life has changed so much in the last few months so as you say it's not so surprising the black dog has decided to visit. Sending you lots of love x

 

[SAM55]

Is an

I'm right there with you on the sinusitis front, it's totally rubbish and a tooth out on top? I think you really do need a break. I hope you have a great time.
Maybe time to chat to the GP? I have reoccurring depression and have resigned myself to going and asking for help once I spot the signs now. It doesn't get any easier but for me I have found an antidepressant that makes a difference and I access therapy too. Your life has changed so much in the last few months so as you say it's not so surprising the black dog has decided to visit. Sending you lots of love x

Thanks Fee. x I see my GP regularly since my therapist died just under a year ago, and waiting for a new one. Had assessment in August and think I should hear something in January. Long standing problem with PTSD, and turned my back on antidepressants 16 years ago after they caused me a major breakdown. I have support systems in place and i know this will pass, just a combination of too much going on at once and the darker mornings as I suffer with SAD too (must switch the lamp on). Hopefully the clocks going back will help for a bit as it will hopefully be lighter when I wake up - my worst time of day. It is annoying that I don't have to be up at least until 8am, but am waking at 6am and am brooding on my own in the dark. Today I got up as i was hungry and had some breakfast, and then went back to bed at 8.30 and slept for 3 hours, so feeling better now.

Its good to have someone who understands - thanks.

 

[FeeBee]

You're welcome x
If you don't already have one, an alarm clock with a light that gradually comes on to wake you up gradually has made a real difference for me. I'm just debating a nap now but we need them when we're poorly

 

[SAM55]

You're welcome x
If you don't already have one, an alarm clock with a light that gradually comes on to wake you up gradually has made a real difference for me. I'm just debating a nap now but we need them when we're poorly

I do have one Fee, although don't use it now as it's staying asleep that is the problem, not the waking up. I prefer to rise when the streets are aired and there are people about, be they physically outside or online. All archaic abandonment stuff.

 

[SAM55]

Well, managed 3 hours with a clear head last night on OU worksheets, so thought I might feel more motivated today, but not so. Didn't have tooth extraction after all yesterday as they want to wait until I go back on Monday to get my new denture, so rather than being Gummy Bear, I am more Vampire! I suppose it is almost Halloween!! Therefore have very few teeth so not inclined to go out and be sociable, which is not good if you are feeling depressed. Had thought I would be able to catch up with OU, but got cabin fever this afternoon and as it was sunny, I took some clothes to the recycling, and then went for a drive to look at the autumn colours to see if that would cheer me up, but it just reminded me that winter was coming.

Whilst out I really felt the urge for chocolate, which is rare nowadays, so had to work hard not to go into the garage for some. Have been feeling very tearful and definitely looking for that oral pleasure satisfaction as I work through some grief and loss. Contented myself with a whole banana when i got in. Stomach feeling restricted now, so at least it has stopped me wanting to eat something else.

Blocked sinuses not helping brain fog either...

 

[puddytats]

Mine is soluble. Tried to get pharmacy to change it (they showed me the capsules which looked as big as suppositories) but they wouldn't so have to wait to see GP to ask him to change it for next time. Couldn't face it today so took a Seven Seas. It wasn't so bad when I hadn't realised you had to wait an hour and I took it with breakfast.

Have fun with M. Because they sent me an early appointment for last week which was too early given my two hour travel (and should be on my records as I have told them enough times) I don't have that pleasure until the end of November.

It's ridiculous isn't it. I always take the early appointments as I see her at the other hospital, which is easierfor work. Work aren't as fussy at giving me time off when I'm only 30 mins later (technically, they're supposed to give 2 hours for hospital appointments!)

Went to the pool for hydro today (teacher off because of half term so it was DIY). Swam a little bit further than I did on Monday before I ground to a halt!

I think the virus thing that has been doing the rounds is finally getting a grip on me as I am getting very thirsty! More like sinusitis than a cold. Usually goes to my chest but this is second time this has happened this year. Took weeks to go last time. Thick head, runny nose and lack of oomph

The Black Dog has also settled on my shoulders, which after last week and all that has happened in the past couple of months isn't surprising. Struggling to keep up with OU because of brain fog, and too many other things to do.

Also having a tooth out tomorrow so can't imagine I am going to feel any better in the next few days...

Have a 4 day break booked a week on Saturday. Not far away but then I don't have to go far for nice places as am on Yorkshire Dales/Lakes borders, but definitely a change of scene and there is a lake and a spa, plus mountain scenery. Going on my own and looking forward to that. Hopefully it will also give me an opportunity to catch up with my OU as my assignment is due in on 17th Nov.

Mainlining on baked beans again as bunged up after trying some egg fried rice on Monday night.

Well done on the swimming. A break away sounds good. I could do with one myself! know how you feel with the black dog around!

 

[SAM55]

More new clothes arrived today. Had ordered two sizes in most things as I am not sure what size I am. My biggest pleasure was that 2 years ago I bought a new 3 in 1 winter jacket size 36, and it was still ok last winter, with a little bit of room. Wore it for the first time this autumn on Friday and it was like a tent! New one ordered and I now can fit into a 26 A little snug, but the zip does up and hopefully it will see me through the winter... Sent back the 24 (was a bit too ambitious) but kept everything else as it either fitted or will do so very shortly. Even had to get new bras for the first time since last year.

Tooth out this afternoon (not Thursday as i thought) and the worst bit was the injections - the most painful i have ever had. I think my poor body has had enough of being prodded Diabetic bloods on Thursday and hopefully my flu jab too and then hopefully that's it for a few weeks.

Still full of cold although the sore throat has eased, but it has now gone to my chest. Hoping to be better by Saturday (and no chest infections or dental infections) by the time I go away on Saturday for a few days r & r near the Lakes. Looking forward to spa, pool, massage and a change of scenery. Weather doesn't look too bad either - cold but sunny.

The cold is making me want to eat as it makes me feel better. The good part is that I am drinking a lot of fluid, although the constipation is no better.

It was nice to wake up in daylight this morning and hopefully the Black Dog will bugger off very soon!

 

[SAM55]

It's ridiculous isn't it. I always take the early appointments as I see her at the other hospital, which is easierfor work. Work aren't as fussy at giving me time off when I'm only 30 mins later (technically, they're supposed to give 2 hours for hospital appointments!)




Well done on the swimming. A break away sounds good. I could do with one myself! know how you feel with the black dog around!

How did it go with M today?

 

[countrywench]

Awww Sam ! How did the tooth op go ? Bless your heart I hate the dentist !
Mindy
Xxxx

 

[SAM55]

Awww Sam ! How did the tooth op go ? Bless your heart I hate the dentist !
Mindy
Xxxx

I am usually ok with dentist but mouth has been sore so the injection was agony! It feels a lot better today and thanks for asking

 

[Turps]

I'm glad to read your mouth is feeling better, hopefully your virus is on its way out, too.

I sounds like a break away is just what you need, I hope you enjoy every moment of relaxation and pampering.

 

[SAM55]

Unexpected sense of achievement today due to some confusion around someone coming to go for a walk with me to build my confidence going further. I had it in the diary for tomorrow at 2pm and a blood test at 2.10 today. 2pm, person knocked on door just as I was about to go and get in the car to go to surgery as in my head it still feels a long way. Without giving me time to think she said we can walk there - its about a quarter of a mile and some of it uphill at the end. I was worried about being late so got a wriggle on and only had to stop once and that was on the hill. Afterwards I decided to take the long way home and all in all probably did a mile, and could have gone further. I knew all the time that if I did get stuck then I could be rescued. It didn't matter that I got soaking wet, it was just so lovely to be out in the fresh air and moving, particularly after a stressful meeting this morning

Had a hot shower and feeling a bit stiff now. Hopefully won't pay for it tomorrow...

Still battling with the virus and coughing and spluttering and poor night's sleep. However, being up at 5.30am meant I had the chance to Skype and speak to my daughter for the first time since she moved to NZ 10 days ago. There is an 11 hour time difference so timing is everything.

 

[FeeBee]

That's brilliant. I'll worn you know it can get addictive! I'm starting to look for reasons to fit a walk in most days now because it's worth the pain for the way it makes me feel emotionally now. Plus I am building up a lot of podcasts to listen to while I walk
How is your daughter getting on? Is she settling in and adjusting to the time difference?