second thoughts?

[wishiwasslim]

Hi everyone,
i have a gastric band booked for 29th oct, i was so sure its what i needed! my husband was supportive (ish) when i first mentioned it, i know he thought it was a lot of money!!! i did too and felt very guilty that i was gonna spend all that on me when we have 4 kids we could do something lovely with that amount of cash! so was needing to justify it to myself constantly, but a couple of days ago he made a few comments about the money and he also heard on tv that a band is not 100% guaranteed success and i flew of the handle saying i couldnt cope with comments every row for next ten years or more and to cut off my nose to spite my face i told him i was not gonna have it done!
I booked an appointment today with my Gp to see if any chance at all on nhs, and i got really upset and did agree i still felt it was a lot to spend on myself and if we ever did find ourselves short of anything i would never forgive myself,but the doctor has thrown me sideways as she told me she could see why i have thought about a band but then told me she thought the psycology im waiting for would be far more beneficial in the end as ive got real head issues with food! i know shes right about the bad issues,(its like an obsession) i think what she was saying was until the head is sorted the band stands a good chance of failing? So im so confused now, the only thing i could think of doing was asking you guys your opinion, do you still struggle not to overeat? or crave to binge or anything like that?
Sorry to go on but im so lost i dont know what to do i hate myself as i am, but i know i what the gp meant. x:cry:

 

[charliegirl]

Hi there I understand where your coming from regarding the money. I am waiting for funding to be approved just now as there is no way I could afford to fund it myself. I can see your GP's point of view as for all surgery you need to have a psychology review. The band like everything else including the bypass is only a tool people still have to work very very hard at losing weight. Have you looked through the posts on here for people who have had the surgery? They tell you that its an ongoing thing. Reading some of them may help to see things a bit more clearer in your mind. Do you know how long you need to wait for the assessment with your GP? It may be worthwhile having that and then seeing how you feel afterwards, there is always the option to apply for funding so all is not lost. I hope this was of some help to you and I am sure others will be along pretty quick and give more advice....keep your chin up chick and remember your not alone....xx

 

[wishiwasslim]

Hi thanks for the lovely reply i was told last time i rang about psycology it could be up to Feb to wait! (from last april) i thought i could do them hand in hand (band and psycology) and i really thought i was doing the right thing until last couple of days it just seems so wrong i have to pay £7000 to make me feel better about myself and hopefully lenghten my life! and then i might just feel like s--t afterwards for blowing all that money , its so annoying its down to where you live as to wether nhs will do it, my bmi is just under 50 and still wont refer me!!!!!!!

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

thats alot of money, and the gp should be refering you, the nice guide lines are a bmi of 40+ or 35 with co morbilities, if he wont refere you see another gp, i had to fight for my nhs referal i seen every gp in my practice till i found 1 woman gp who understood and refered me in the end

 

[charliegirl]

I agree with Liz you have to fight for it and April is not too far away....please read through the other threads it might help you make a decision....xxx

 

[dehli]

What diets have you tried? Surgery really should be a last resort as things can go wrong. Check out this site:
The Trouble with Gastric Bypass Surgery

gastric bypass surgery has many associated risks. The risks, according to a Mayo Clinic article, include death, blood clots in the legs, leaking at the staple lines in the stomach, incision hernia, narrowing of the opening between the stomach and small intestine, dumping syndrome, iron deficiency anemia, vitamin B-12 deficiency, vitamin D deficiency, dehydration, gallstones, bleeding stomach ulcers, intolerance to certain foods, kidney stones, low blood sugar, body aches, fatigue (like when one has the flu), feeling cold, dry skin, hair thinning and hair loss, and mood changes.

It's not the quick fix many people think it is.

 

[alliecat]

I went private for my band and it was pretty much all of the money I have ever had (but I don't have kids to consider!) For me, it has just made me more determined than ever to make sure the band works for me. OK, so I had huge compulsive over-eating tendencies before the band and I still struggle with 'control' if you like, but the difference for me is that know I know that I cannot possibly eat in the quantity I was eating before and I have lost weight consistently every week since the op. I still have everything I want, but in moderation - my biggest 'binge' has been 2 wispa bars in one sitting....so for me it has been a very worthwhile investment at this stage (3 months post op)
I wasnt eligible for the band on the NHS in my area - my BMI was still too 'low' at 43 so it is tricky to get help but fight that fight - you sound like you have a supporitve family to help you out. I was on my own - my family still think I am nuts for having had it done but can now see just how much happier I am - some doubts are natural and only you can make your decision - good luck with whatever you decide xx

 

[janie71]

I think you have to way out the pros and cons , do you really need the surgery, have you tried pills and diets, are you obese, do you have any obesity related problems, do you want to be around for your children. The list is endless. You need to do what is best for you and for your own reasons. I am waiting to see the surgeon and then hoping for funding, but if I dont get it my husband said we will sell one of the cars. Says he loves me no matter what I look like but he knows im not happy the way I am. Good luck and all the best.

 

[hopelesscase]

Its all very well the dr saying sortyr head out has she offered any help with that. I would go back and ask to be refered to a weight management clinic tell her that without the proper support you feel that he/she is being negligent as you are asking for help adnone is forthcoming. Has he/she ever offered you medication for weight loss.
Also befor you go back get on the bospa web site amd check out your areas guidelines print them odd and take them with you.
Dont fall out with DH just get him to support you in other ways like going to the drs with you.
Take care
HC

 

[Mrs V]

Hi Hun,

Both Hubby and I have had a band fitted and yes, we had it done privately. The money considerations are the worst kind.
No one on here can say yes you should have it done or no. The advice given by everyone so far has been fantastic and there isnt much more I could add to it.
Are your children really going to suffer without that money? Is it worth fighting with your Husband?
For me and Hubby this was our last resort. I have tried every diet under the sun, been put on nasty pills that you darent cough or sneeze from fear of what could happen to you!
I had my band in March and I have lost 3 stone. The food that I by is pretty much the same as before, but due to the quantity that we eat now, my food bill has practically halved. I freeze quite a lot of left overs too to save even more money.
Go back to your GP, ask for the support as obviously you are confused and need some advice.
Good luck with your decision Hun, but dont let it beat you up.

Take care

Kerry-Ann
xx

 

[cheryl]

i have 6 kids. i have worked damn had for 18 years with them, we have lived our lives for the good of our children, so i do know where you are coming from. however what about me, should i not be able to do something to help me raise my own self image. i want to look and feel good. i deserve it, you do to. if you can raise the money and want to do it, do it. protect your health and the future of you with your children. i say go for it.

 

[cheryl]

by the way i a pre band. but it will work! it does work. good luck with your decision.

 

[serenitylove]

i hope all goes well with you and therapy might well be the answer but i had pyscotherapy and cognative behavioural therapy for over a year and it didnt work very well for me i put 2 stone during it all as you have to face some very hard issues and i comfort ate thru it. it is alot of money if you cant go nhs but its an investment in yours and your childrens future making sure you are always around for them and healthy

 

[phatgirl]

Think about it carefully

Everyone here has given such great advice I only wanted to offer my point of view. I don't know your physical health situation but sooooooo many people that consider surgical options for weight loss have serious medical conditions such as hypertenion, diabetes, weight induced asthma, sleep apnea, PCOS and many more. If you are one of these people or heart disease or stroke are in your family medical history, don't let anyone make you feel like this is a "vanity" surgery. It is a life-saving & life-extending procedure that has awesome results where many of the diseases I listed are completely reversed or controled by diet alone, no more pills!! Who in their right mind wouldn't consider paying £7000 for 10 more years of life or even more?? You have to make your choice the informed way, through research and medical help. See a different doc, go to support group meetings, etc until you are satisfied that you know what is right for you. And by all means, see a psychologist, they can help you see if you want to surgery for the right reasons. Include your husband, he just may need to see how much this surgery could really improve both your physical & mental health. Maybe a less drastic approach is what you need but make sure you get all your questions answered.

Good luck & keep us updated!

 

[charliegirl]

Excellent advice phatgirl..xx

 

[wishiwasslim]

Wow Thank you all so much for your replies, im overwhelmed by them all i knew it would be mixed answers and i still dont know what to do, but im gonna have a think over the weekend i dont want to fall out with hubby over it but i guess its natural to feel "im not worth the money" if he makes a comment about how much it is! My mind switches all the time one minute i think its my only hope and to answer the questions yes ive tried every diet known to man, slimming world, weight watchers. lighter life, cambridge, slimming pills (both types) i could write a book! the next im thinking he is right and its complete madness! i need to loose about 9/10 stone, my minds in a mess, but im so grateful for all your comments, Thank you all! x x x x x x

 

[janie71]

Your worth every penny and more and your husband should know that. This is not just for yourself its for a better life for him and your children.