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So Upset

helen144

helen144

New Member
Hi all

As you may or may not know i have just been granted funding to have weight loss surgery on the NHS, my family do not support my decision and keep going on telling me that im silly, I should have more willpower etc etc (this is an issue i have addressed before on here)

But tody i just went to pick my mum up to take her shopping and the first words out of her mouth was

"Have you seen the newspaper today, somebody just died 4 days after weight loss surgery, see i told you, its dangerous and you shouldnt be doing it , i think you are making a very stupid decision"

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I dont know what to say or how I should feel now, am i being selfish, could I die, This has been a difficult decision to make without this as well, i feel like im being backed into a corner.
If i ever feel later on after surgery that i need some support or that im just fed up all i will get is I told you so.

Does anybody know about this person who has died and the circumstances behind it.

Thankyou

helen
xxxxxx:cry:
 
Sorry not heard about that story. But it has to be your decision and I doubt you would have been given the 'yes' unless the Trust were sure it was the right thing to do

Good luck
Irene xx
 
Yes there is a risk from surgery but I reckon more people have died this year as a result of being obese than has died from surgery. Not as news worthy though is it.
 
I know this must be tough but at the end of the day you are doing this for you and you alone.

Once they see the new, healthier, slimmer you, they will also see it was a good decision.

All surgery carries risks - anyone can die from any operation under anaesthetic.

But look how many of us have survived and are geting healthier as a result.
 
statistically some ppl do die but its very rare 1 in 1000, bypass is more risky than a band, this is just like other surgery theres always a small risk, you have this op for you nobody else, if you dont do this you will spend the rest of your life regreting it and thinking what if ?

liz x
 
You need to do whats best for you, you could get knocked over by a bus tomorrow. I think the only ones that are selfish are your family. Good luck and have a lovely christmas.
 
Helan to get to where you are has taken the approval of quite a few proffessionals to decide that this is the right thing for you. For your health benifits they have decided that you need to loose the weight and you need to loose it quickly and safely. That means having the surgery to hopefully ensure that once you loose your excess weight it will also stay off.
As we know loosing weight isnt all about will power yes you may have the will power to get your weight down but does that mean that you then have to live off lettus for the rest of your life to maintain. My dr is a big believer in genetics and hormones playing a big part in some ones make up and if the only way to correct any imbalance is to have medical intervntion that my view is that we should listen to thoes proffessionals.
If due to family pressure you didnt go through with the op and ended up diabetic in need of insulin would they then be saying maybe you should of had the op.
I really feel for you on one hand you could say they are being this way because they are concerend but like you say it would be nice if they could really understand just what having this chance at taking control of your life really means to you.
If in the future you do have any problems but hopefully you wont and they come back to you saying i told you so i would be inclined to say yes you did but that really isnt very helpful.
Ive not see or heard anything about the report in the paper but like the others have said the risks are very low and with any surgery there is a risk but being obease carries the highest risk.
really feel at a loss for you
take care
carole
 
Thanks so much for your messages , you always make me feel so much better, Do you know what janie you are right it is them being selfish after alll they were the ones who called me fat from being 7 and begged me over and over again to lose weight even bribed me with money and now when I make this decision, its the wrong bloody one.......you cant win....

helen
xxxx
 
hopelesscase said:
Helan to get to where you are has taken the approval of quite a few proffessionals to decide that this is the right thing for you. For your health benifits they have decided that you need to loose the weight and you need to loose it quickly and safely. That means having the surgery to hopefully ensure that once you loose your excess weight it will also stay off.
As we know loosing weight isnt all about will power yes you may have the will power to get your weight down but does that mean that you then have to live off lettus for the rest of your life to maintain. My dr is a big believer in genetics and hormones playing a big part in some ones make up and if the only way to correct any imbalance is to have medical intervntion that my view is that we should listen to thoes proffessionals.
If due to family pressure you didnt go through with the op and ended up diabetic in need of insulin would they then be saying maybe you should of had the op.
I really feel for you on one hand you could say they are being this way because they are concerend but like you say it would be nice if they could really understand just what having this chance at taking control of your life really means to you.
If in the future you do have any problems but hopefully you wont and they come back to you saying i told you so i would be inclined to say yes you did but that really isnt very helpful.
Ive not see or heard anything about the report in the paper but like the others have said the risks are very low and with any surgery there is a risk but being obease carries the highest risk.
really feel at a loss for you
take care
carole
Click to expand...

Thanks so much for this, it made me cry, in a nice way, because you understand and im so glad i have you all, Thankyou so much.
 
Helan im only up the rd from you so if you want to meet pm me.
All my friends and family have been fantastic and it really upsets me to think that other people havent got that support.
 
Hi Helen

I think they are probably only being that way because they are worried about you.
As the others have said though, many medical professionals have decided that this is the best way forward for you, if it was too risky they would have told you.
Stick to your guns, if you think this is the only way you will be able to lose the weight then sod then, do it.
Everything in life has risks, and so does this albeit small. If you feel the end outcome is worth that then theres your answer. :553:
 
helen people only care but i too had family and friends giving me all the horror stories but once my op happened suddenly they found loads of good stories to show me a bypass should only be considered if nothing else works and if you are at that stage hun then have the bypass and enjoy the new lease of life it gives you
 
I just wanted to let you know that I am here for you as well. Everyone has given you great support (HC you are a real star) so I really don't have anything to add. Well, maybe something:

Last week strange deaths:
1. Teen boy died from using too much spray deodorant in a confined space.
2. Female dieter (VCLD I think) died ftom drinking too much water over a span of 2 hours (something like 4L I think)

Point is hun, people die for all kinds of reasons doing everyday things and at least with your surgery risk you are informed and have an entire team of professionals trained to help in case of emergency. Plus here is an ugly fact, if someone died recently and locally it brings down the probability that you don't survive. I know, that is a bit dark but I am a researcher and statistics apply here.

HTH & pm me if you want to chat anytime!
Nichole;)
 
phatgirl said:
I just wanted to let you know that I am here for you as well. Everyone has given you great support (HC you are a real star) so I really don't have anything to add. Well, maybe something:

Last week strange deaths:
1. Teen boy died from using too much spray deodorant in a confined space.
2. Female dieter (VCLD I think) died ftom drinking too much water over a span of 2 hours (something like 4L I think)

Point is hun, people die for all kinds of reasons doing everyday things and at least with your surgery risk you are informed and have an entire team of professionals trained to help in case of emergency. Plus here is an ugly fact, if someone died recently and locally it brings down the probability that you don't survive. I know, that is a bit dark but I am a researcher and statistics apply here.

HTH & pm me if you want to chat anytime!
Nichole;)
Click to expand...


Thanks Nichole I will be in touch thats for sure, yes the support I get in here is so fantasticxxxx
 
Hi
I worry too and so do my family, when I told my mum 2 montsh ago she was gob smacked I had even considered it let alone been put forward for it. she is getting used to the itea and knows that I want it fior me and my family.
In teh end though people die giving birth, i have three young children 6,4 and 12 months No one for one second said to me oh my god your not having a baby are you !!!
Do what is right for you babe x
 
I think HC said it perfectly in the first line of her reply. Professionals have approved you and recommended you for surgery. If they didn't think you were an ideal candidate, they wouldn't have approved you.

Your family don't understand it. They are scared that something bad might happen to you, which is the only reason they don't approve.

Helen, it is really really hard, but if this is what you want, you need to do it for you, be strong in your convictions and simply tell them that you understand how they feel, however, it is your decision, you're an adult, and you'd prefer not to hear anymore negativity. It's not going to help you hun.

Once you've had the surgery and lost a lot of weight and are visibly happier and more confident, they will be grateful you had the surgery because it means you'll live a longer and healthier life.

xx
 
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