Stairs and lifting (post surgery)

[Sharonimo]

I am still about 3 months away from my op, but need to make plans because I think my current living arrangements are going to make it very difficult to cope (living on my own) in the first week or two post surgery.

1. How many of you bypassers live in a house with steep stairs or 2 or 3 flights of stairs? Were you able to tackle those stairs twice a day from the day you got home from hospital? With shopping and things to carry up the stairs as well ....? (I will still need to buy toilet rolls, bleach, air freshner, bin bags, washing powder, fabric conditioner, washing up liquid, etc etc etc post-surgery even if food is not on the list -- or only soup and baby food!)

MY SITUATION IS:

** I live (alone) in a privately rented very small studio flat (approx 12 foot square with mini kitchenette inside the room, and a separate bathroom with WC, shower, bath etc) in a grotty area of London. There is a washer/dryer inside the studio flat so I don't have to take things to a laundry at least.

But ...

** The flat is up 2½ steep flights of stairs above a shop. (There is a black doorway on the high street in between two shops, but the doorway leads to ten flats, spreading out across two floors, across 3 shops.)

** The landlord is useless (only cares about the rent -- which he collects in cash), and my neighbours are weirdo's or foreign. (A mixture of Polish, Czech, French, Thai, and Chinese students -- many hardly speak English.)

** The one English couple who live next door are a Drunken Neanderthal Man ("Mr Fists") and a GF he beats up now and then (she's still there, by the way -- after the Police told me last week she would be moving to a safe house -- ha ha) .... anyone who is on my FB page (about 2 people on here have joined me on FB) will know what this is all about and me having to call the cops last Friday after the domestic violence got out of hand.

** So not a place where I either know or can call on my neighbours, at all. (I have friends who live between 3 and 10 miles away in other parts of London who do have cars -- but they do also have boyfriends / hubbies / lives of their own etc.)

** My family (79 year old widower Dad and two brothers -- both married with families -- live 100 miles away in Dorset).

** There is no door entry bell or buzzer. When anyone calls (inc the Police / deliveries / friends / anyone) .... they have to have the mobile phone number of the tenant they are calling for, and phone that tenant from outside ..... the tenant then has to go down 2 flights of stairs, open the door, and come back up 2 flights of stairs.

I am really worried how I will cope with shopping, cleaning and everything else in the first few weeks post surgery (there is no access to the flats from the back, only the one narrow door on the high street -- and no parking allowed directly in front of the shops) ..... taking my black bins down to the nearest collection point (which is about 500 yards away as being above shops we have no bins on the street front).

OPTIONS:
======

1. Ask my 79 year old Dad if I could stay with him for 2 or 3 weeks post surgery while I recover ..... but we are both likely to get under each other's feet ..... and my Dad does not have a shower in his 1920's bungalow with no central heating and no double glazing (the few times I stay there I am always cold, and it feels damp).

ADVANTAGES: the "spare" bedroom that Dad lets me stay in when I do make a fleeting visit is on the ground floor opposite the bathroom and toilet.

DISADVANTAGES: no shower, and at my size and with my arthritic hip, I cannot get in and out of a bath. (Also imagine being there for a week and having to do my laundry/smalls in Dad's ancient washing machine with no tumble dryer -- eeeek!)


2. Ask my younger brother if I could stay in one of their "spare" bedrooms (they have 6 and no children yet -- just various pets and occasional lodgers).

ADVANTAGES: brother's house has all mod cons, central heating, showers next to bedrooms

DISADVANTAGES: all bedrooms 1 or 2 flights up away from the living room and kitchen. (In fact am sure brother would allocate me a top floor "spare" bedroom 2 flights up as he and his wife occupy all of the middle floor -- bedroom, spare room, and a computer room all for them on the middle floor !!!)


3. Get food and groceries delivered to my London flat -- not possible because (a) no parking for vehicles on the street and no access to the flats from the back (b) I would still have to walk down two flights of stairs to open the door and walk back up with the Tesco/Asda delivery person ..... so that's up and down stairs 4 times just to deal with one delivery.

4. Win lottery and escape to a nice, new, ground floor flat with a garden and easy access :giveup:

Any other ideas .....?

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Sounds like your dads would be the best bet,I wouldnt worry about batheing tbh.You could get away with strip washes.I didnt shower for a while anyway!There are ways of keeping warm and get Asda to deliver your food there.Take plenty of clothes you can wear a lot like sweats and jumpers.Just wash your knicks and socks.An electric blanket and fleece one for during the day.I wouldnt of liked being by myself early on.You really would need some help in the first week or so.You will be VERY tired and want to sleep loads.Soup and milky coffee will be your saviour till you are on blended stuff.Hope you can sort something out.Maz x

 

[angiemason]

i think it sounds as if you would be better at your dad's buy a couple of hot water bottles old fashioned i know but they work, strip washing will be fine and i've bought some dry shampoo so don't have to wash my hair for a couple of days xx the advantage is you have time to get things set up now so when you come out it will be ready

 

[honeykiss]

Hi Sharon,

First of all have you got a friend/relative that will b able to pick you up from the hospital on discharge day?

If you do decide to go to your Dad's how long is the journey? It is not encouraged to go on long car journeys immediently post op becuase of the risks of blood clots etc so you need to factor that in, you would need to take regular stops to walk around etc.

If you do stay at home the stairs should nto be too much of a problem, as after surgery they normally get you to walk up and down a flight of stairs to make sure you can handle it. But this may depend if you have keyhole or open surgery, I had keyhole and the stairs were not a problem at home, mind you the first few days If I came down mine in our house I stayed down till bedtime, thank god we have 2 toilets!

As for your shopping, make sure you have everything you think you will need before you go in hospital. Have you got a friend who could perhaps pop in just to get essentials? Its not so much you won't be able to go out, its more probable you won't want to. Also tiredness is the main thing post op and you will be sleeping or resting quite a bit.


I wouldn't worry too much about cleaning etc, I managed to chuck a bit of bleach round the loo and rinse the bath/shower out and wash up and that's all I did for about 2/3 weeks. Although I did have my sister visit and she did the laundry, mind you most of it was my OH as I was in my nightdress and dressing gown for a week!! ( Did change them lol)

You will not be eating much so I don't think you will have as much rubbish so either keep it in your flat until you able enough to put it out or get a friend to put it out when they visit.
If you do have a friend to call in what about getting a spare set of keys cut to give to them so your not up and down the stairs? However I was actively encouraged to take regular gentle exercise and after about 6 days post op was going for a short with the dog most days, not far about a 15 minute stroll.

Organisation and planning ahead will be key for you, I think you may feel better staying in your own home with your own things around you. You may also be constipated post op and it is nice to be at home near your own loo if you know what I mean.
Wendy

I meant to add general advise regarding lifting is not for 6 weeks post op but is easier said than done. I did lift things like the washing basket and bending down to empty tumble dryer etc and paid the price the next day as one of my wounds was very sore and niggly for days afterwards.
The last thing you want if you are on your own is to be in pain.

Hope you find a solution to your dilemma, but I thing from about 10 days 2 weeks post op you sort of are more able but you do still need to take it easy, the hospital gave me a fit note for 4 weeks but I felt I needed more time off to really aid my recovery so gp gave me two more weeks off. But some people have to return to work and do so after a few weeks.

 

[Mazza]

Bless you! do you know if you are having open or lap?

Option 4 sounds good but failing that staying with your dad sounds the best bet. Presumably you could get shopping etc delivered there too.

Take baby wipes and dry shampoo to keep yourself fresh.

Hand washing or a trip to the launderette (would be warm there and you might feel upto a small walk or just the need to get out from under your dads feet) might be in order if there is one near by for your smalls.

Good luck with your planning x

 

[Louise1]

Before I was allocated a surgery date, my surgeon discussed my home life and arrangements with me to make sure he was happy with what I was planning to do.
I live with OH and luckily have a support network of sorts. I live in a 2 up 2 down home and he was happy with the stairs and the only loo being upstairs.
I think honeykiss' ideas are fab and I'd also ring your surgical team to ask their opinion on your plans. They might prefer to keep you in for an additional night until you can travel and arrange for a district nurse to visit..
xx

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Well just to be controversial, Sharon, I would personally opt for your bothers. I did not have any problems coping with stairs from day one & as this seems to be the only negative at your brothers home, I would have definitely been fine there.
I think your own home is the least appealing for all the reasons you listed but as I don't like being cold, your dad's is a close second. The 100mile journey post surgery is a long one to undertake so if you do go for either your dad or brother make sure you have your pillow with you. Who would collect you from the hospital? If you did decide your flat is where you need to be, just do some forward planning by getting all non food items stocked up pre op & you can also buy food stuffs to last you a week too so once in your flat all you need to do is rest. After a few days you should be up to doing bits of housework but if you have a good clean before going into hospital & there is only you there, then it will wait until you are feeling up to it. Non of your options are ideal, but all workable so don't feel too down about it all. Good luck with whichever option you take, Sharon x

 

[Sharonimo]

Thanks everyone for suggestions so far.

I think the best option might be (1) my Dad's -- ground floor bungalow, even if not great heating wise ..... but I think I will speak to my brothers before Xmas about the possibility of getting a power shower installed and if one of the boys actually install it.

If I stay with Dad -- at least it would be human company (obviously Dad is retired and spends his time pottering about, gardening, painting etc).

Whereas, if I stayed with younger brother, he and his wife would probably still be going out to work every day and socially active -- pubs and things -- in the evenings.

(2) is my own flat but I would need quite a lot of help from at least one or two friends post surgery to ensure I have enough supplies for about 10 days.

My dad's house is in Dorset, 108 miles away from the Whittington Hospital. Although my Dad does still have a car I think it would be beyond him now at nearly 80 years old to drive that 108 mile trip, so one of the brothers would have to drive me "home" from the hospital to Dad's house.

OPTION 2
-----------
My own flat (in Woolwich) is 14 miles away from the Whittington, and if I decide to stay at home then one of my London/Croydon/Rainham/Dartford friends would have to drive me home and help me up the 2½ flights of stairs.

I did speak to one of the junior doctors in Dr Sufi's team in September about living alone, and she said they might keep me in for ONE extra night, but that's it (i.e. poss stay in hospital for 4 nights instead of 3). They obviously can't keep me in for two weeks (I wish!) just because I live alone in Grotbags Mansions !!!

I will speak to Dr Sufi (or his team) again on 16 Jan and will ask again which option they think is better, especially given that staying in Dorset would involve a 108 mile car journey.

 

[honeykiss]

Also meant to add you may need to be local to your GP the first few weeks post op to get your post op meds/fit note for work etc sorted, plus if you are on other meds you may need to have bloods or BP done unless you can make arrangements near you Dad or Brothers? Although after bypass some Type 2 Diabetic patients are just taken off their meds.



Sorry If I am waffling on but I am thinking of my own situation and trying to relate it to your own. I did need to see my GP for an extra two weeks off, plus my BP needed checking and also my Thyroid meds had to be adjusted as the Bypass had made my levels erratic.

Wendy x

 

[honeykiss]

Thanks everyone for suggestions so far.

I think the best option might be (1) my Dad's -- ground floor bungalow, even if not great heating wise ..... but I think I will speak to my brothers before Xmas about the possibility of getting a power shower installed and if one of the boys actually install it.

If I stay with Dad -- at least it would be human company (obviously Dad is retired and spends his time pottering about, gardening, painting etc).

Whereas, if I stayed with younger brother, he and his wife would probably still be going out to work every day and socially active -- pubs and things -- in the evenings.

(2) is my own flat but I would need quite a lot of help from at least one or two friends post surgery to ensure I have enough supplies for about 10 days.

My dad's house is in Dorset, 108 miles away from the Whittington Hospital. Although my Dad does still have a car I think it would be beyond him now at nearly 80 years old to drive that 108 mile trip, so one of the brothers would have to drive me "home" from the hospital to Dad's house.

OPTION 2
-----------
My own flat (in Woolwich) is 14 miles away from the Whittington, and if I decide to stay at home then one of my London/Croydon/Rainham/Dartford friends would have to drive me home and help me up the 2½ flights of stairs.

I did speak to one of the junior doctors in Dr Sufi's team in September about living alone, and she said they might keep me in for ONE extra night, but that's it (i.e. poss stay in hospital for 4 nights instead of 3). They obviously can't keep me in for two weeks (I wish!) just because I live alone in Grotbags Mansions !!!

I will speak to Dr Sufi (or his team) again on 16 Jan and will ask again which option they think is better, especially given that staying in Dorset would involve a 108 mile car journey.

Sharon in all honesty I doubt very much you would want to prolong your stay in hospital, I couldn't wait to get in my own bed at home and to a bit of peace and quiet. lol

Wendy

 

[pandora]

Where in dorset do they live ?

 

[Sharonimo]

One one other thing ....

If I decide to go to Dorset to recouperate (either with Dad or brother) I would need to temporarily register with a new GP, at my Dad's local surgery.

(Obviously some doctor somewhere in the world will have to be signing me off sick for my employer, although I would have to return to London at some point -- darn it! -- to see my employer's Occupational Health people -- but am sure 2 or 3 weeks post surgery would be OK for that.)

That in itself should not be a problem (as stated Dad has a car and does use it for short shopping trips himself and to visit his 2 sons and grandchildren etc).

With Dad everything would be on ground level -- his house, his local GP surgery, his local shops etc.

If I remain in London, my GP's surgery is not far away, but does involve traipsing down those 2½ flights of steep stairs, walking 500 yards, down a slight hill/slope to the GP surgery ..... and back. (I have never yet called for a GP to visit me, altho this could be a first.)

Just ANYTHING i need from my flat -- GP, bus, train, shops, friends, newspaper, pint of milk, anything ..... involves going up and down 4 flights of yukky stairs

 

[Sharonimo]

Where in dorset do they live ?

Hi Pandora,

My Dad lives in a little village called Longham, two miles away from younger brother and his wife in "Canford Bottom" (on the edge of Wimborne).

The older brother lives in Weymouth with his 2nd wife .... I would almost add plus 4 kids, but they are all young adults now (between 19 + 23 years old -- uni, army, one is in Singapore, only one is left at home now).

I went to school in Ferndown and used to shop in Bournmouth and worked in Bournemouth for a few years

 

[pandora]

That's not far from me at all , if you need a visitor if you do recuperate down here please let me know , as long as I am not incarcerated myself lol , tho I shouldn't be xx

 

[Sharonimo]

That's not far from me at all , if you need a visitor if you do recuperate down here please let me know , as long as I am not incarcerated myself lol , tho I shouldn't be xx

Thanks so much, Pandora !!

My op is likely to be March (sometime) .... anywhere between end of Feb and end of March, fingers crossed.

I am hoping late Feb / early March if poss as Dad turns 80 on 25 March 2012 and I was hoping to have been nipped and tucked + recovered by the time of his 80th birthday party !!! :8855:

If they offer me a date too close to 25 March I may have to decline and ask for an April date, after my Dad's 80th birthday.

 

[pandora]

More than welcome hunni , flowers of shona is local too , infact closer than me .

 

[Sharonimo]

Thanks so much!

Well, I've put wheels in motion today to take action about 2 of the biggest problems.

1. I have emailed my younger brother about Dad's inadequate bathroom and suggested we invest in a small shower unit. I have offered to pay for the unit itself (between £50 and £100 i found lots available in that price range at Argos) if one of the boys will do the manly thing and install it (!).

2. I have written to my landlord regarding the problems with no bell / entry phone system. Again, I already did a quick search online for intercom systems and found one for just £53 for a single flat .... now I myself would be prepared to pay that amount for just my flat .... whether my landlord would be prepared to pay £500 for all 10 flats is debatable.

Only snag is if my landlord takes me up on my offer to buy the intercom and does the installation for me ..... I might end up the only flat with an intercom on a doorway on the high street which leads to 10 flats .... so I could get a lot of people calling for other flats

Well, will see what my landlord says first.

Both of these things would make staying either at my own flat, or at my Dad's house a bit easier, either way.

 

[pandora]

Good for you Sharon , without asking you never get anywhere . Hope you get some positive responses xx

 

[penelope1008]

There are a growing number of us on here from Dorset, pandora & flower of Shona, myself in Gillingham, bobsbigboy in Poole & Kerry also in Poole. As well as a few others who don't come on that often these days, & a few others waiting for their turn. So a load of us who can help out.
If you do stay at home perhaps you could invest in some long life milk or freeze some milk depending how much freezer space you have. Invest in an easy-yo yoghurt maker that makes a kg of yoghurt using a sachet & some water, with the limited amounts you will be eating you won't have a lot of rubbish but rather than dustbin bags of it why not pop it in an old carrier bag & take a daily walk to pop it in the bin which will give you some gentle exercise & fresh air without to much strain or time out alone as yes you will be tired & a bit wobbly at first. Stock up on basics pre-op tins, packets etc, freeze simple things if you have the space so you don't have to think or prepare to much in those first few days. Laundry again small loads or push basket along the floor between the washer & dryer slowly & gently is the key. The other thought is how settled & happy would you be away from your own home & although the royal in Bournemouth do these ops & in an emergency no doubt would help advise you etc it's a long way from your team & GP. Lots to think of & with some organised prep you could cope at home or with family pros & cons both ways.
Use all our suggestions that suit you mixed with advice from your team & what you want for you to decide on your final choice & plan. Whatever you decide all the very best.

 

[Sharonimo]

At "home" (if you are referring to my London flat) I have no freezer space at all. It is a crap flat (hardly more than a bedsit) with a "kitchenette" not a proper sized kitchen.

Fridge is a small one with a very thin "cool" area at the top, but door broken off ..... absolutely no room for food preparation. One sink, one microwave, two electric hob rings. Most of my (limited) kitchen worktop is taken up with my laptop and other paperwork (there is no desk or other furniture + I can't afford any right now).

I also cannot afford to move out, much as I might like to.

As for taking 1 x carrier bag of rubbish per day downstairs ..... it would still involve 4 flights of stairs and a 500 yard walk to the nearest bins (a block behind where the shops are).

I am having nightmares about popping my stitches, rupturing my port holes or getting a hernia going up and down those (steep, narrow) stairs, so if I do stay in London (big if) I will definitely be enlisting the help of a friend to take my rubbish out once a week.