penelope1008
Active Member
Sorry if I gave offence as I obviously didn't appreciate the size of your home & the limitations you live with. I hope you can sort out what will be best for you.
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Stairs and lifting (post surgery)
- Thread starter Sharonimo
- Start date
angiemason
New Member
you have a lot of obstacles to move to get it right for yourself but i can already see you are thinking ahead now and maybe there is light at the end of a long tunnel but as i said the other day at least you have time to arrange things and really wish you all the best of luck xx
Sharonimo
Sleeve to Bypass
Thanks angiemason and penelope1008. 
Yes, it is because of the extremely limited/cramped and difficult living conditions that I am trying to forward plan.
I think for many people who live in a "normal" sized house with kitchen (and poss have family around them) they cannot imagine how alien single life in a tiny shoebox sized studio flat in inner city London could be. LOL!
Yes, it is because of the extremely limited/cramped and difficult living conditions that I am trying to forward plan.
I think for many people who live in a "normal" sized house with kitchen (and poss have family around them) they cannot imagine how alien single life in a tiny shoebox sized studio flat in inner city London could be. LOL!
TwinkleTwinkle
A Very Happy Bunny
Thanks angiemason and penelope1008.
Yes, it is because of the extremely limited/cramped and difficult living conditions that I am trying to forward plan.
I think for many people who live in a "normal" sized house with kitchen (and poss have family around them) they cannot imagine how alien single life in a tiny shoebox sized studio flat in inner city London could be. LOL!
Sharon ... please don't take offence at what I am about to say but, well in for a penny
Is there a really good reason why you are living in London, away from your family, in really bad, depressing conditions? I am sure this is not doing your mental health any good at all. I get that London accommodation is very costly & that you may not be able to afford to move somewhere more salubrious within London, but could you not move out of London & find another job as you obviously have skills. Given that the op should help you get a new life in one way, why not go the whole hog ... If this is not what you want or just not possible then I wish you all the luck in the world to work with what you do have x
Sharonimo
Sleeve to Bypass
Sharon ... please don't take offence at what I am about to say but, well in for a penny
Twink, you are ahead of my long term plans already !! :8855:
At the moment I am financially trapped by earning £35K for a city sec job that would only pay between £15K and £18K in Dorset -- this is the reason I moved up to London 13 years ago in the first place (my salary then doubled from £12K to £24K overnight and, living costs are NOT quite double). I did like it for the first 10 years (theatre, comedy clubs etc etc), but on turning 43 this year I decided I have had enough of the rat race.
I currently rent a very cheap studio flat (£500 pcm) but the rest of my bills and "financial commitments" come to £1,500 per month, leaving me with £500 (or less) to live on. (eg if I have an unscheduled "extra" bill like a recent £100 BUPA policy excess or some urgently needed item it becomes £400 to live on, or £300 to live on, etc)
I cannot currently consider taking a job in Devon or Dorset (which is my dream to escape back to the country) which would only pay me a net monthly wage of £1,500 after tax (I have already looked into these things and registered on lots of job sites!).
I would also need to buy a car and have enough money to maintain, insure, run the car and keep it topped up with petrol.
Because of the pending surgery (and the fact that *this* current GP referred me and got the funding and Greenwich PCT have approved it) my plan is really to look at my finances and how I can escape from London **post** surgery: I can only dream that the magic overnight 12 stone weight loss (I am joking!) will lead to meeting Mr Right (Who Happens to also be Mr Loaded !) :8855:or some kind of lucky lotto win to help me with my "escape to the country" plans.
Otherwise I have to continue to pay off £11,000 of debt which I might manage to have paid 50% off by August 2012, and then either reduce my payments (and breathe a bit), or pay the remaining half off within a year.
TwinkleTwinkle
A Very Happy Bunny
Twink, you are ahead of my long term plans already !! :8855:
At the moment I am financially trapped by earning £35K for a city sec job that would only pay between £15K and £18K in Dorset -- this is the reason I moved up to London 13 years ago in the first place (my salary then doubled from £12K to £24K overnight and, living costs are NOT quite double). I did like it for the first 10 years (theatre, comedy clubs etc etc), but on turning 43 this year I decided I have had enough of the rat race.
I currently rent a very cheap studio flat (£500 pcm) but the rest of my bills and "financial commitments" come to £1,500 per month, leaving me with £500 (or less) to live on. (eg if I have an unscheduled "extra" bill like a recent £100 BUPA policy excess or some urgently needed item it becomes £400 to live on, or £300 to live on, etc)
I cannot currently consider taking a job in Devon or Dorset (which is my dream to escape back to the country) which would only pay me a net monthly wage of £1,500 after tax (I have already looked into these things and registered on lots of job sites!).
I would also need to buy a car and have enough money to maintain, insure, run the car and keep it topped up with petrol.
Because of the pending surgery (and the fact that *this* current GP referred me and got the funding and Greenwich PCT have approved it) my plan is really to look at my finances and how I can escape from London **post** surgery: I can only dream that the magic overnight 12 stone weight loss (I am joking!) will lead to meeting Mr Right (Who Happens to also be Mr Loaded !) :8855:or some kind of lucky lotto win to help me with my "escape to the country" plans.
Otherwise I have to continue to pay off £11,000 of debt which I might manage to have paid 50% off by August 2012, and then either reduce my payments (and breathe a bit), or pay the remaining half off within a year.
Ah... didn't think it was as simple as just going.
Hope things pan out as you hope & you manage to 'escape to the country' soon x
Sharonimo
Sleeve to Bypass
Not to mention the 2 times I narrowly missed out on opportunities to buy small cheap flats some years ago back when 100% mortgages were available, and so find myself still SINGLE and STILL renting at 43 years old, saddled with nothing but debt, no home, no car, no "assets" to speak of.
(Obviously if I had bought in London some years ago I would have some value in a property to sell and buy something cheaper in the 'burbs.)
And at least £8,000 of the debt was caused by an ex who messed with my head. He was NOT a Nigerian scammer. None of the money went to him. He was one of those men who builds up "fairytales" and gets you believing nonsense and manipulating you (me) round his little finger.
He managed to 'manipulate' me into putting a deposit and 2 months' rent down on a very expensive large ground floor garden flat in a better area (£750 pcm). So that's £2,250 on rent and deposit plus agent's fee (another £150) = £2,400 plus removal men fees (£200) plus more than £4,000 worth of furniture (for the unfurnished flat), and other incidentals (digital camera, flashy hi-tech mobile etc etc). Moving into the flat was financed on the back of a £4,000 bank loan, and the extra furniture and "incidentals" were racked up on credit cards, catalogues and a £2,000 bank overdraft etc.
And then of course "Mr Manipulator" went and vanished leaving me in the "love nest" he had manipulated me to invset in -- with (possibly?) no intention himself of ever joining me there.
I don't understand men (well, no, just that b*std) because what joy did he get out of leaving me in debt to high heaven, when he wasn't even scamming me for the benefit of monetary gain himself ???? !!!!! Some sick twisted joy out of having messed up my life and managed to get me to so stupidly and foolishly believe every story he spun ....? I did try pursuing him a few times, but as you can imagine "Mr Slippery" won't ever admit that he was to blame. :jelous: So I am now left paying off the debts, and trying to get myself straight.
My only small joy is that if I had not been thru this nightmare, I might never have ever been referred for this life-changing surgery.
I am almost certain that if I was still with him I would have remained one of life's yo yo dieters, feeling moderately content that I was with a man who I *thought* adored me (ha ha ha). And I know every time my weight went up, he would have probably nagged me, and it would have been a struggle to diet back down to a size that he *might* have condescendingly approved of.
But he ain't ever gonna get to see the "super slim me" in 2012. The one who *will* (due to the power of surgery) have much more will power (and less appetite) to be able to stick to low calorie life forever !!!
.
(Obviously if I had bought in London some years ago I would have some value in a property to sell and buy something cheaper in the 'burbs.)
And at least £8,000 of the debt was caused by an ex who messed with my head. He was NOT a Nigerian scammer. None of the money went to him. He was one of those men who builds up "fairytales" and gets you believing nonsense and manipulating you (me) round his little finger.
He managed to 'manipulate' me into putting a deposit and 2 months' rent down on a very expensive large ground floor garden flat in a better area (£750 pcm). So that's £2,250 on rent and deposit plus agent's fee (another £150) = £2,400 plus removal men fees (£200) plus more than £4,000 worth of furniture (for the unfurnished flat), and other incidentals (digital camera, flashy hi-tech mobile etc etc). Moving into the flat was financed on the back of a £4,000 bank loan, and the extra furniture and "incidentals" were racked up on credit cards, catalogues and a £2,000 bank overdraft etc.
And then of course "Mr Manipulator" went and vanished leaving me in the "love nest" he had manipulated me to invset in -- with (possibly?) no intention himself of ever joining me there.
I don't understand men (well, no, just that b*std) because what joy did he get out of leaving me in debt to high heaven, when he wasn't even scamming me for the benefit of monetary gain himself ???? !!!!! Some sick twisted joy out of having messed up my life and managed to get me to so stupidly and foolishly believe every story he spun ....? I did try pursuing him a few times, but as you can imagine "Mr Slippery" won't ever admit that he was to blame. :jelous: So I am now left paying off the debts, and trying to get myself straight.
My only small joy is that if I had not been thru this nightmare, I might never have ever been referred for this life-changing surgery.
I am almost certain that if I was still with him I would have remained one of life's yo yo dieters, feeling moderately content that I was with a man who I *thought* adored me (ha ha ha). And I know every time my weight went up, he would have probably nagged me, and it would have been a struggle to diet back down to a size that he *might* have condescendingly approved of.
But he ain't ever gonna get to see the "super slim me" in 2012. The one who *will* (due to the power of surgery) have much more will power (and less appetite) to be able to stick to low calorie life forever !!!
.
TwinkleTwinkle
A Very Happy Bunny
Not to mention the 2 times I narrowly missed out on opportunities to buy small cheap flats some years ago back when 100% mortgages were available, and so find myself still SINGLE and STILL renting at 43 years old, saddled with nothing but debt, no home, no car, no "assets" to speak of.
(Obviously if I had bought in London some years ago I would have some value in a property to sell and buy something cheaper in the 'burbs.)
And at least £8,000 of the debt was caused by an ex who messed with my head. He was NOT a Nigerian scammer. None of the money went to him. He was one of those men who builds up "fairytales" and gets you believing nonsense and manipulating you (me) round his little finger.
He managed to 'manipulate' me into putting a deposit and 2 months' rent down on a very expensive large ground floor garden flat in a better area (£750 pcm). So that's £2,250 on rent and deposit plus agent's fee (another £150) = £2,400 plus removal men fees (£200) plus more than £4,000 worth of furniture (for the unfurnished flat), and other incidentals (digital camera, flashy hi-tech mobile etc etc). Moving into the flat was financed on the back of a £4,000 bank loan, and the extra furniture and "incidentals" were racked up on credit cards, catalogues and a £2,000 bank overdraft etc.
And then of course "Mr Manipulator" went and vanished leaving me in the "love nest" he had manipulated me to invset in -- with (possibly?) no intention himself of ever joining me there.
I don't understand men (well, no, just that b*std) because what joy did he get out of leaving me in debt to high heaven, when he wasn't even scamming me for the benefit of monetary gain himself ???? !!!!! Some sick twisted joy out of having messed up my life and managed to get me to so stupidly and foolishly believe every story he spun ....? I did try pursuing him a few times, but as you can imagine "Mr Slippery" won't ever admit that he was to blame. :jelous: So I am now left paying off the debts, and trying to get myself straight.
My only small joy is that if I had not been thru this nightmare, I might never have ever been referred for this life-changing surgery.
I am almost certain that if I was still with him I would have remained one of life's yo yo dieters, feeling moderately content that I was with a man who I *thought* adored me (ha ha ha). And I know every time my weight went up, he would have probably nagged me, and it would have been a struggle to diet back down to a size that he *might* have condescendingly approved of.
But he ain't ever gonna get to see the "super slim me" in 2012. The one who *will* (due to the power of surgery) have much more will power (and less appetite) to be able to stick to low calorie life forever !!!
.
I would give men a wide berth for a while Sharon
Take the time to work on yourself, your whole life & your esteem. Men like this will always be able to sniff out your weaknesses, so try to strengthen your self worth & go it alone until you feel someone is worthy of you. You don't need a man to be happy & I know I am happily married but also know that if I wasn't I would still be worth sooo much more than someone who would do what he did to you, & so are you. Caren is a new woman & does not need a man in her life ... sure she could, but chooses not to. This is her time to get herself sorted & she is doing it as fast as humanly possible (lol Caren) You will find that as you see yourself differently, so will everyone else & hopefully this will happen sometime next year ... so stay strong & hopefully things will fall into place bit by bit xxx 
Karlos
New Member
I haven't read the replies to your thread but from your OP I would say go stay with family for the first couple of weeks. In fact I hate the thought of you or anyone having to face the first few weeks post op on their own, it would have scared me to death. If it's at all possible then get as much care and support from your family as you can. You'll not be in any state to lift shopping or take out the trash for a while and often the suggested recovery time before you can lift anything heavier than a jug of water is 12 weeks hun so you'll have to take real care x
Sharonimo
Sleeve to Bypass
Thanks all.
Defo family support it is gonna be then .... they don't know this yet (oops!) .... but I intend to talk about it over Xmas.
I didn't originally intend to explain all about my debts and the stupid man who helped me rack them up in my original post ..... but of course some people are going to (not unreasonably!) start to wonder:
-- but why are you living in such a sh*t-hole of a crummy flat in Woolwich Ars*hole with 2.5 flights of stairs, batsh*t mental neighbours, no bins outside, no intercom, and sandwiched between a convenience store and a fried chicken and chips shop ......?
If it wasn't for being the cheapest studio (with own shower and WC) i could find in London .... I would be asking myself the same question !!!
Defo family support it is gonna be then .... they don't know this yet (oops!) .... but I intend to talk about it over Xmas.
I didn't originally intend to explain all about my debts and the stupid man who helped me rack them up in my original post ..... but of course some people are going to (not unreasonably!) start to wonder:
-- but why are you living in such a sh*t-hole of a crummy flat in Woolwich Ars*hole with 2.5 flights of stairs, batsh*t mental neighbours, no bins outside, no intercom, and sandwiched between a convenience store and a fried chicken and chips shop ......?
If it wasn't for being the cheapest studio (with own shower and WC) i could find in London .... I would be asking myself the same question !!!
Sharonimo
Sleeve to Bypass
Unfortunately I now have a (negative) answer to one of those problems. Landlord refuses to have any intercom installed on any flat, even if I offer to pay for it. He says it causes too many problems with the shops next door and being right on the high street (in a scummy area of London), either the bells/buzzers get buzzed all the time by pesky people who run off, or other people can take the opportunity to sneak in behind someone who has been genuinely buzzed in.
So we all have to *continue* to go down 2 flights of stairs, open the door to any genuine callers who call our mobiles, then go back up 2 flights of stairs (ok, the tenants on the middle floor only have 1 flight to go up and down, but I'm at the top.)
And, yes, I have been asking my lanlord since July if he has any ground floor flats but he keeps saying no. (He says most of his properties are commercial -- just shops and the flats above them.)
No answer from brother yet but when I tried to phone him earlier this week it sounded as if he was full of flu, so I decided to wait and pick a better moment.
I keep browsing all the London rental sites window shopping for lovely ground floor flats with easy access .... but I have not yet found the magic fairy dust that would enable me to currently put down a month's rent, a month's deposit and incur a few moving costs (man + van and stuff).
I also need to stay within the Borough of Greenwich as it is Greenwich PCT that has approved the funding for my op, so it could make life difficult if I moved to another London Borough.
I only need 5 lottery numbers to come up for a "small" windfall to enable me to move to a slightly better rented flat .... I don't even need the bonus ball, Santa, to be able to buy my dream cottage -- just 5 lottery balls would get me out of Grotbags Mansions and into a nice, safe ground floor flat !!!
.
wannabeminime
New Member
Hi Sharon, just wanted to say that i cant believe i missed this thread, and that the others are right, you should stay with family. You definately shouldnt be on your own.
As for your situation, good luck with moving to Dorset/Devon in the future, i bet it will happen eventually (((HUGS))) xx
. As for your situation, good luck with moving to Dorset/Devon in the future, i bet it will happen eventually
(((HUGS))) xx
mariew
New Member
Hi Sharon, what a nightmare. I have 2 flights of stairs here as I live in a 3 storey house and I have been fine! If your op is going to be around March time,it may be getting warmer anyway so your dads house wont be so cold. T the moment Poundstretcher are selling Electric blankets for between £15 and £25 depending on the size. The travelling isn't as bad as you think, I had to come home from hospital 50 miles away. If you have a considerate driver and you stop for a rest you should be fine. You can see a gp in any area if you are visiting as a temporary resident. You don't have to change doctors. If you find that you do have to stay at home (not ideal) do all your housework before you go in. Stock up on all the items recommended to you before you go in. Including washing powder, bin bags etc so you don't have to buy any for weeks after. Everytime you buy something, buy an extra to put away. You wont have very much rubbish as you wont hardly be eating! Buy uht milk. I walked to the shops and the chemist in the village 2 days after I came home from hospital, it's about half a mile return and I was fine. Just take it slowly. You say you have friends that only live 3 miles away, ask them to come and see you! They could jump on a bus if parking is a problem.
If all else fails, come and stay with me, I'll look after you!
If all else fails, come and stay with me, I'll look after you!
Sharonimo
Sleeve to Bypass
Thanks Marie for all the info -- especially that you have been fine with 2 flights of stairs -- very helpful and encouraging. Many thanks.
FuturePerfect
Finally in love with life
Sharon - can you see your visitors from your flat? Could you lower the front door key to them on a piece of string?
Or could you get an extra key cut for trusted visitors?
Or could you get an extra key cut for trusted visitors?
Sharonimo
Sleeve to Bypass
Hi Cathi,
No unfortunately I cannot see visitors as my flat is at the back. But I have already thought of getting 1 or 2 spare keys cut, for a couple of friends to be able to visit without me having to go up and down 4 flights just to let them in the building.
The whole reason why I started to think about the logistics of this is because back in July I had a knee injury and was on crutches for 3 months. Despite *huge* difficulty getting up and down the stairs on crutches, I did manage it .... but it was during those months that I began to hate, loathe and detest my current flat and secretly I think I was hoping that this op would give me an excuse to leave ...... which it does ....... but unfortunately financially I am stuck and cannot see that situation changing for at least 8 months, which will be *post* op !!!
Mrs Quiggle
New Member
Hope you get all this sorted before your op Sharon. I have to say that our only loo is upstairs and my daughters room is in the loft so as soon as I got home I was up and down two flights of stairs, one of them very steep. I'm two weeks out now and when my knee is having a good day, I can just about run up them. Sounds like you need to stock up on tinned soup, UHT milk, and all stuff that wont go off and get some good dvd's in and snuggle yourself up in front of the telly for a week after you get home. You do need to be doing plenty of walking around though and hopefully you will have a really easy time of it. I was very lucky and felt like I could have returned to work after 1 week. I really hope you also have an easy time.
After your op can you not move further out of London. I know you would have to pay to travel in to work but if you lived at the end of a tube route it wouldn't be too bad. We live in outer London and Tim travels in daily and it's not too bad. You would get a much bigger flat in a nicer area for the same money surely.
Thinking of you lovely.
Kate x
After your op can you not move further out of London. I know you would have to pay to travel in to work but if you lived at the end of a tube route it wouldn't be too bad. We live in outer London and Tim travels in daily and it's not too bad. You would get a much bigger flat in a nicer area for the same money surely.
Thinking of you lovely.
Kate x
Sharonimo
Sleeve to Bypass
Hi Mrs Quiggle,
Moving out to something better is definitely on my list but just not financially possible at the moment.
Unfortunately also because the flat I rent at the moment is so cr*p the rent is so low (£500 pcm) that it is difficult to find much cheaper further out of London. Currently my monthly travel from Zone 4 London is £150 pcm. (Therefore total for rent and travel = £650 a month.)
At the weekend I did actually go "window shopping" to view a couple of alternative flats (which I know darned well I cannot afford, but hey ho -- you know, just in case my lotto numbers had come up this weekend and enabled me to move before the surgery !!!) .....
The first was a one bed ground floor flat in Abbey Wood / Thamesmead (travel still zone 4 and £150 a month) but the rental cost to rent something "decent" (with a separate bedroom, ground floor, small yard / garden, easy access, better area etc) .... goes up to £675 pcm.
1 bedroom maisonette to rent in 23 Sorrel Close, LONDON, SE28 (even if I managed to haggle the rent down to £650 pcm that is more than my current rent and travel combined .... and £650 + £150 for travel would equal £800 pcm).
I also viewed a small studio in Dartford at £600 pcm (travel about £200 pcm) .... and a one bed (£550) in Gravesend (travel £250 pcm).
So it seems that the further I go out, the combined rent and travel is likely to come to about £800, which is more than I am currently paying.
But I know that budget wise moving is really not likely to happen for me until about August or September 2012 as I am currently paying off a large chunk of debt, in a DMP which ends August 2012.
I think I have to just grit my teeth and stick it out in this grotty flat for the time being, including post op, because budget wise it works. (In fact, the whole reason I moved here in the first place was almost entirely due to the cheap price.)
Moving out to something better is definitely on my list but just not financially possible at the moment.
Unfortunately also because the flat I rent at the moment is so cr*p the rent is so low (£500 pcm) that it is difficult to find much cheaper further out of London. Currently my monthly travel from Zone 4 London is £150 pcm. (Therefore total for rent and travel = £650 a month.)
At the weekend I did actually go "window shopping" to view a couple of alternative flats (which I know darned well I cannot afford, but hey ho -- you know, just in case my lotto numbers had come up this weekend and enabled me to move before the surgery !!!) .....
The first was a one bed ground floor flat in Abbey Wood / Thamesmead (travel still zone 4 and £150 a month) but the rental cost to rent something "decent" (with a separate bedroom, ground floor, small yard / garden, easy access, better area etc) .... goes up to £675 pcm.
1 bedroom maisonette to rent in 23 Sorrel Close, LONDON, SE28 (even if I managed to haggle the rent down to £650 pcm that is more than my current rent and travel combined .... and £650 + £150 for travel would equal £800 pcm).
I also viewed a small studio in Dartford at £600 pcm (travel about £200 pcm) .... and a one bed (£550) in Gravesend (travel £250 pcm).
So it seems that the further I go out, the combined rent and travel is likely to come to about £800, which is more than I am currently paying.
But I know that budget wise moving is really not likely to happen for me until about August or September 2012 as I am currently paying off a large chunk of debt, in a DMP which ends August 2012.
I think I have to just grit my teeth and stick it out in this grotty flat for the time being, including post op, because budget wise it works. (In fact, the whole reason I moved here in the first place was almost entirely due to the cheap price.)
suzie290304
Member
Could you not rent with a friend or do shared accommodation and rent with someone else loads of people do it up hear and half's everything then you could pay off everything quicker and move closer to family x
x
Sharonimo
Sleeve to Bypass
All my gal pal friends are happily shacked up with hubbys / boyfriends. And I really don't want to go back to living in shared rooms with a house full of strangers (who will most likely be in their 20s) when I am 43 years old and have been living on my own for over 15 years.
Also, for a large double room in London most rents would be about £400 a month, sometimes even £450 so it would not save that much off my current cheapy cheapy studio flat (my council tax is only £60 a month, no gas, no water bill -- included in rent, and elec is on a weekly meter which costs very little about £5 a week).
So really I do have the cheapest option at the moment. And don't have the embarrassment of having to share a bathroom and toilet with a house full of strangers.
Also, for a large double room in London most rents would be about £400 a month, sometimes even £450 so it would not save that much off my current cheapy cheapy studio flat (my council tax is only £60 a month, no gas, no water bill -- included in rent, and elec is on a weekly meter which costs very little about £5 a week).
So really I do have the cheapest option at the moment. And don't have the embarrassment of having to share a bathroom and toilet with a house full of strangers.
