strong opinions !!!!!!!

[Gaggle]

Sorry just had to type this down. I can truly understand why some surgical weight loss friends have lied to there company or work place when going in for surgery. I am due to go in for a gastric balloon after struggling with my weight for a while now.

Two children later and always putting everyboby before me I decided to go for the balloon after a lot of thought and talks with my husband, rather than take sick time off work and tell a few porkies I thought I would come clean and book the time off as holiday and tell my few fellow workers what I was doing. My boss who is large herself was great and we spoke honestly about her weight issues also. But the few female friends I work with from small to large in size in weight suddenly felt they had to judge me to a degree fo one saying that I should be stronger and that the money could have gone to charity.

This has left me really annoyed. I was expecting to be the topic of conversation and gossip for days but you certainly find out who your true supportive friends are.

This has not changed my decision in anyway just made me angry, especially when when colleague is just 19!!!

Nobody knows my body more then me and my decision wasn't made lightly as I pointed out to them.

Sorry for long essay but has anyone come across this posistion before????

also did you tell the truth or lie???

:cry:

 

[Silversurfer]

Hi Gaggle

i went through the same dilema, and started a thread about this very subject, and in the end decided not to tell co workers or friends, in my opinion people have opinions that veary towards weight lose surgery, i dont want to be the topic of office gossip and i'm certainly not interested in the opinion of some size 10 20 something.
Like yourself i know my own body and what i need to do, therfore i only included my immidiate family into my decision once i'd made it, and they supported me.

Longerterm my decision may change towards telling people what i've done.

Richard

 

[Gaggle]

You certainly did the right thing. every has the right to there own thoughts and opinions but everyone is so different, its so easy for people to judge. Just hated the thought of lies and digging myself a deeper hole if you know what I mean. I have already taken so much time off work with my sons counselling sessions and as I work with such a small group of people it would be easier. Thanks for your reply

 

[Silversurfer]

Hi Gaggle

If you dont mind me asking, what exactly are people saying to you about this procedure, and what is their specific opinion ?

 

[hopelesscase]

Hi Gaggle i can honestly say that i havent come across any negativity towards having a bypass. Saying that i lost 3 stone on lipotrim last year and i think people saw the difference that made to me and know i have struggled to loose any more since then since then. In fact when i went and saw my gp after going to the weight management clinic and them recomending surgery even he got excited for me.
One of my aunties who has always struggled with her weight and is now in her 70s phoned me to say that if it had been offered to her she would of jumped at it and my manager said that there was someone else in the office who had had banding and if i wanted she would share what i was having done with her and maybe we could compare notes. I have since spoken to her as im not office based and she looks fantastic having lost 8 stone.
The only one person who has said anything that made me stop and think was my best friends SIL who herself is big and all she said was "are you really that unhappy with yr size". My responce to her was its not the size of me but what my weight is doing to my health.
For some young whippet to say what she did my responce would be that once she has had some life experiance come back and give an opinion then, but dont let her comment make you angry just look at it as her inexperiance and still seeing life through rose tinted glasses.
take care and good luck
HC

 

[charliegirl]

Hi Gaggle I feel angry for you.....I have decided that I am not telling anyone in work what I am having done until a long time afterwards. I have told my team leader and my boss that I may be having surgery and it will benefit me all round but that I probably wont tell them what it is....I use this forum to get my support, I have told a few friends who are nearly all wanting to lose weight and it has been an eye opener, some people never want others to do well.....keep your chin up and ignore them we are here for you....(((((hugs))))) Linda x

 

[shelbell]

I just told work I was having surgery, and booked sick leave (on full pay). HR must have seen it on the sicknote but my line manager has never mentioned it. I work alone running a project so no-one to gossip with

I have a group of volunteers though, and had to tell them I was having surgery so they knew I would not be contactable for a short period ( they know they can normally get me even if I'm on holiday). Shortly before the op I was with most of them as a group and one of them asked what op I was having and I was honest with them. They were fine, no negatives But then I'm not the kind of person people are negative towards, must be a no-nonsense vibe I give off!

 

[Silversurfer]

I guess a big part of my reluctance to tell others is that to date i've tried to play the grey man, disapear into the back ground and not be noticed, being centre of attention wouldn't be something i'd be comfortable with, that and the fact that making decisions that will affect and change your life forever should be made by you only, and of course taking into account those that are closest to you. I guess only you can judge what people are likely to say about your choice, and how they will support you, maybe it is true to say that those that care wont mind, and those that mind dont really care or matter !
I talked this through with my consultant and he supplied me with a letter i gave into my employer which stated that i was being admitted for bariatric surgery and would require x amount of time of work, the letter didn't specify the exact procedure, therefore i was able to invent a cover story ! - deceptions never a good thing and i'm not condoning what i did but i just dont want people knowing my intimate business !

Rgds

Richard

 

[icemoose]

Hiya

Just remember that when people judge you, it is your decision whether you let it affect you, if they have a problem with what you are doing then it is their problem not yours.

Therefore take pride in your decision and don't choose to let their opinions upset your in anyway as you know what you want and they don't.

Mike

 

[Gaggle]

Thank you for all your comments , It hasn,t changed my mind at all and I havn,t doubted my decision at all. I think I was shocked a little. I thought working with a small group of girls/Ladies it would have been easier to have told the truth and although quiet in myself I hated the thought of lying and didnt want the stress of worry about my lie then if that makes sense.

As my husband says I always have put everyone elses feeling before mine. But honesty I thought the best policy may be not?? I think I worry also and didnt want chinese whispers

I agree I now know its there problem not mine.

Thank you true friends for all your comments x

 

[Floella]

I think the thing is, we all have our opinions on every subject and sometimes if we feel strongly about something we find it hard to understand when others don't agree.

Personally I think honesty is the best policy in any situation. I also think people should be able to express their opinions (if asked). I would far rather someone is straight to my face at the time than go away and say what they really think behind your back.

Most people who are about to undergo weightloss surgery will feel that this is paramount in their lives. So it might be a bit of a shock to realise that their family/colleagues etc may disagree. :cry:My son worked with someone who had the op last year and she was forever having whole days off to attend hospital appointments (which were miles away) before her op. All of these she was paid for. She also took several weeks off when she had the op and often goes home feeling ill. She got very shirty when others complained that they were having to cover for her and she kept insisting that it was essential surgery. They had to remind her that she'd spent months telling them all that she was pestering Drs, nurses and anybody else who would listen that she was a deserving case.

 

[lovebug]

Hi Gaggle I feel the lady in Floella's Post was a deserving case because the NHS let her have it no matter how long it took her . To want something that bad means u'll do anything for it . I am lucky, i own my own business , i paid for it private and no one was going to stop me. Her sons colleague i'm sure would have felt bad for taking the time off but its always the way, having to cover for someone when there off work is always a bind, but then again, i'm sure she felt it was worth the words behind her back cus the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages !! . I should know because at the end of the day if i had a job where someone else was in charge ( which i have done in my life hence why i am the boss now ) ....i wouldn't give a flying fart ! . Its a life changing experience and hard work at the same time of course and i know its not easy but people shouldn't give a toss what people think when they make there decision ...its there own descision . Unless u've had it or are going thru it ...no one will understand whatever is said. In my eyes, don't tell...unless u have too. its not being ashamed ...its protecting yourself from those who disagree and not having to justify to anyone why you feel something is paramount to u. People can be deserving cases even if the NHS don't agree at the time....its called Procedure and if they let someone have it then well done to the person who had the guts to get on and get it done. they don't just let anyone do it hence why it takes so long in some cases. Good on her i say !!! Bet she's as happy as a pig in Sh*t !! I am and u will be ! in most cases its jealousy as to why people are unhappy with it( along with worry of course with family ). Its a known fact that Weight LOSS Surgery works for alot of people and to know u have a tool that will stop you getting fat or Fatter after a big weightloss is the envy of most people especially woman !! and if they needed it like other procedures ie cosmetic surgery or something that was paramount to them ....they'd be first in line ! like a boob job or i dunno a nose re-shape...whatever makes u un happy is sometimes of paramount importance whatever anyone else thinks. If your gonna tell be prepared for the disagreeable people who think they know best ...different when its family of course that'll be thru love and worry but again if they love you will hopefully see the pain your in and want to help you and get the help for you and eventually realise how good WLS is !! ...but for work and people with bad attitudes towards u .... get lost i say and relish your new life and the Brave and Confident person u are !! Thats my Advice !! Good Luck ! xx

 

[tammy]

Hi Gaggle, i decided not to tell work colleagues. My main reason was that i didn't want to be judged by people who have never suffered weight problems.

I feel awful lying to people and obviously they have noticed the significant weight loss in such a short time but they seem to accept that i am losing the weight i gained during pregnancy and dieting.

The Xmas meal at work has been booked and i am dreading it!!!!! I'm sure someone will twig and part of me feels i should have been honest from the start.

It's hard as you don't know what response you will get.

I'm sorry to hear that you have had so much negativity. Remember you are doing this for you and those who matter to you will support your decision. Good luck x

 

[tammy]

Hi Gaggle I feel the lady in Floella's Post was a deserving case because the NHS let her have it no matter how long it took her . To want something that bad means u'll do anything for it . I am lucky, i own my own business , i paid for it private and no one was going to stop me. Her sons colleague i'm sure would have felt bad for taking the time off but its always the way, having to cover for someone when there off work is always a bind, but then again, i'm sure she felt it was worth the words behind her back cus the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages !! . I should know because at the end of the day if i had a job where someone else was in charge ( which i have done in my life hence why i am the boss now ) ....i wouldn't give a flying fart ! . Its a life changing experience and hard work at the same time of course and i know its not easy but people shouldn't give a toss what people think when they make there decision ...its there own descision . Unless u've had it or are going thru it ...no one will understand whatever is said. In my eyes, don't tell...unless u have too. its not being ashamed ...its protecting yourself from those who disagree and not having to justify to anyone why you feel something is paramount to u. People can be deserving cases even if the NHS don't agree at the time....its called Procedure and if they let someone have it then well done to the person who had the guts to get on and get it done. they don't just let anyone do it hence why it takes so long in some cases. Good on her i say !!! Bet she's as happy as a pig in Sh*t !! I am and u will be ! in most cases its jealousy as to why people are unhappy with it( along with worry of course with family ). Its a known fact that Weight LOSS Surgery works for alot of people and to know u have a tool that will stop you getting fat or Fatter after a big weightloss is the envy of most people especially woman !! and if they needed it like other procedures ie cosmetic surgery or something that was paramount to them ....they'd be first in line ! like a boob job or i dunno a nose re-shape...whatever makes u un happy is sometimes of paramount importance whatever anyone else thinks. If your gonna tell be prepared for the disagreeable people who think they know best ...different when its family of course that'll be thru love and worry but again if they love you will hopefully see the pain your in and want to help you and get the help for you and eventually realise how good WLS is !! ...but for work and people with bad attitudes towards u .... get lost i say and relish your new life and the Brave and Confident person u are !! Thats my Advice !! Good Luck ! xx

You've just said exactly what i wanted to.

well done on your weight loss too hun glas it's all going ok since your op x

 

[charliegirl]

Hi Gaggle I feel the lady in Floella's Post was a deserving case because the NHS let her have it no matter how long it took her . To want something that bad means u'll do anything for it . I am lucky, i own my own business , i paid for it private and no one was going to stop me. Her sons colleague i'm sure would have felt bad for taking the time off but its always the way, having to cover for someone when there off work is always a bind, but then again, i'm sure she felt it was worth the words behind her back cus the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages !! . I should know because at the end of the day if i had a job where someone else was in charge ( which i have done in my life hence why i am the boss now ) ....i wouldn't give a flying fart ! . Its a life changing experience and hard work at the same time of course and i know its not easy but people shouldn't give a toss what people think when they make there decision ...its there own descision . Unless u've had it or are going thru it ...no one will understand whatever is said. In my eyes, don't tell...unless u have too. its not being ashamed ...its protecting yourself from those who disagree and not having to justify to anyone why you feel something is paramount to u. People can be deserving cases even if the NHS don't agree at the time....its called Procedure and if they let someone have it then well done to the person who had the guts to get on and get it done. they don't just let anyone do it hence why it takes so long in some cases. Good on her i say !!! Bet she's as happy as a pig in Sh*t !! I am and u will be ! in most cases its jealousy as to why people are unhappy with it( along with worry of course with family ). Its a known fact that Weight LOSS Surgery works for alot of people and to know u have a tool that will stop you getting fat or Fatter after a big weightloss is the envy of most people especially woman !! and if they needed it like other procedures ie cosmetic surgery or something that was paramount to them ....they'd be first in line ! like a boob job or i dunno a nose re-shape...whatever makes u un happy is sometimes of paramount importance whatever anyone else thinks. If your gonna tell be prepared for the disagreeable people who think they know best ...different when its family of course that'll be thru love and worry but again if they love you will hopefully see the pain your in and want to help you and get the help for you and eventually realise how good WLS is !! ...but for work and people with bad attitudes towards u .... get lost i say and relish your new life and the Brave and Confident person u are !! Thats my Advice !! Good Luck ! xx

hear hear well said xxx

 

[Frosty]

Hiya

All i have to say on thematter is people like this are a waste of space.

Next time that insensitive idiots shoves a cake in her mouth or goes out for a drink tell her to give the money to charaity instead.

How dare anyone tell you what you can do or not do with yoiur money. or what you can do with your life.

Makes me mad .

As for you ignore them . i put it down to them being frustrated with their own life so they have to try and be pushey with others

 

[Trinaweena]

Hi
I haven't told anyone about my surgery because I have a very selfish/*****y family(excluding myself) who I don't see very often maybe once every 2 years at the shops or docs and I just know that once they find out, they will all be on the telephone with each other *****ing about me, that I don't care about but they don't know how each situation affects us both medically and physically on a day to day basis.
Our life and body is our choice to do with what we want without having to have the backing and agreement of others.After all our body size also affects our health.
Lovebug is 110% postive and I totally agree with all her comments.
Take care
Trina xxxxx

 

[Annie 100]

You are doing this for YOU and your family, b*****ks to what everyone else thinks, they don't have to live your life or walk in your shoes. Best of luck and a thousand good wishes. :clap::clap::clap::clap:

 

[Gaggle]

Thank you all so much for replying. Wouldnt mind if I was having it free im not costing me a fortune and ive even booked holiday time off to recover. Think I need to learn to be a stronger person, and hip hip hooray for me and to hoots with my out spoken work colleagues!! Thanks guys x