SURGERY SECRET

[Lookingforabetterme]

Does/did anyone think like me?

I'm awaiting a decision from panel and so far have kept this big step in my life a secret. My eldest son, my mum and 2 friends know secret. I believe I only told those two friends because one of them is on this journey and the other paid for her band last year.

I don't know why I feel like I shouldn't be open about my journey because I know I could help others. On the flip side I feel like I'm going to be judged for accepting assistance.

Did anyone feel like me and decide to tell everyone or has anyone still kept their journey a secret!

 

[Bear]

My surgery is pretty much a secret. My husband and eldest child knows (she's 12), and my two best friends know as I had to rely on them to help with the children.

I never plan on telling anyone else - I don't think it's anyone else's business. I too feel I'd be judged and living in a small village, would certainly be the subject of the gossips.

I think the reason we feel like this is because weight problems and food issues are still taboo - something I find really sad.

 

[Lookingforabetterme]

Hi the bear

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this. Just to find something to wear every morning is a struggle. I'm tired of being the elephant in the room and just don't want to have to explain my decision, how I feel etc

At the moment it's still very hush hush and don't have any intention in sharing.

My friend had her band and told a friend at work, who then spread the news round the office. The upside for her was a few ppl in her office had some form of WLS and just kept it quiet. So she got lots of support. The majority in my office are slim and always have been, so I know I would get judgement rather than support.

Sorry I'm rambling

 

[lovelyzobo]

It's funny because most people knew about my bypass, but now going in for revs ion surgery, no one at all knows! Well, just two of my 'fat fighter friends'...but I'm embarrassed and ashamed I have put on so much weight, so keeping my band a complete secret! Xx

 

[Lookingforabetterme]

Ohhhhh lovelyzobo don't be ashamed, consider it a part of your journey. Have they given u a date for your revision?

 

[Starduck]

My hubby came with me to the appointment where my endo suggested it, so he knows (although id obviously have told him anyway !) he told his dad and step mom, who were really supportive and lovely.

But...My mom was really judgemental.. Saying how i should just diet and eat less, exercise and id start doing stuff again. She keeps telling me I'm going to make my whole family feel miserable when i can't eat (?!)

Because of her negative reaction, I've decided to not tell anybody else if i do get the funding from the NHS and go ahead with surgery. It will be my business and nobody else needs to know.

 

[Lookingforabetterme]

I totally understand Starduck, it takes so long to get your head around going ahead with the surgery. You don't need negative comments. If ppl only knew how mentally draining this journey is

 

[Oopseydaisy]

. . .

 

[lovelyzobo]

Yes lookingforabetterme....it's next Tuesday!!!! xxx

 

[Just]

Yes I was a bit worried at the beginning about telling people , but I have decided that I will find it much easier being honest and telling people as and when I see them or if they ask as telling different people different things could become complicated and I don't like to lie outright to anyone , everyone gas there own opinion and we will all most probably have to deal with some two faced people along the journey x

 

[los in it]

I only told my boss , best friend and 1 sister only told the rest of the family and work mates 1 week before the surgery itself only because I didnt want everyone constantly asking questions and the progress takes a long time and they didnt need to know till nearer the time

 

[Lookingforabetterme]

Congrats Lovelyzobo you must be excited, I can't wait for some good news. Thanks everyone for your great input, at the moment I still think it's nobody's business. I won't lie to anyone or devise an elaborate story, but I'm not going to openly say I had WLS

 

[Lookingforabetterme]

Yea your right Just. Los in it, where your work mates supportive?

 

[Leda]

I'm also waiting for MDT hopefully its tomorrow. My husband and 4 grown up children know but I probably won't tell anyone else. Not for a while anyway, might change later . Good luck x

 

[Sephem]

I wanted to keep it a secret, but my wife just kept telling all her friends so it did not stay one for long.

 

[jan52]

I know how you feel!..I've been selective who I've told so far! My elderly parents as I knew I wouldn't be able to help care for them for a while, my 21 year old daughter and around 3 great friends... One of which came with me to Belgium to look after me. I just don't want people continually saying " how much have you lost now then " etc and will share on a need to know basis. I haven't told my brother and family as I have always felt they have judged me for my weight issues. Would love to just turn up slim one day!
Everyone I have told has been really supportive though!

 

[Lookingforabetterme]

I wanted to keep it a secret, but my wife just kept telling all her friends so it did not stay one for long.

I hope people have been supportive?

 

[Lookingforabetterme]

I know how you feel!..I've been selective who I've told so far! My elderly parents as I knew I wouldn't be able to help care for them for a while, my 21 year old daughter and around 3 great friends... One of which came with me to Belgium to look after me. I just don't want people continually saying " how much have you lost now then " etc and will share on a need to know basis. I haven't told my brother and family as I have always felt they have judged me for my weight issues. Would love to just turn up slim one day! Everyone I have told has been really supportive though!

That's brill, the best thing we can have is support.

I think my mum is totally fed up of me talking it about and panicking. So this forum has been great for me. What surgery did you have?

 

[Sephem]

I hope people have been supportive?

Yip for the most part they have. I had one person tell me I was taking the easy way out. Well I got news for them. It's not easy at all.

 

[Lookingforabetterme]

Too many negative people around Sephem, it's quite sad, they are so easy to judge when they don't have a clue what we go through daily.

How you finding it? I'm assuming you have had surgery......... If you haven't when is it?