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What should I do?!?!

C

city_chick

Member
Hello everyone,

Am new here but really wanted some advice from all you experts! Have been having a good nose through all your posts and sounds like you've all had so many different experiences so I wanted your opinion!
I'm 24 years old and have been overweight for as long as I can remember- I think I was stuffing my face with Mcdonalds even when in the womb! I'm 5"4 and 13.7 stone and have steadily been at this weight for the last several years. I have lost a significant amount of weight once a few years ago, but was when I was going through a hard time so I cannot say it was something that was done 1) on purpose and 2) in a healthy and controlled way. Sure enough, as soon as I became happier, the pounds piled back on. I think I have tried every diet going with little effect (biggest loss being 1 stone on Cambridge plan which of course came back on).
I openly admit that my willpower is shocking, I eat large portions and some days I will graze all day and other days will eat barely anything- I try and trick myself it's the 5:2 but who am I kidding haha!
I started exercising properly and regularly 11 months ago and whilst I have seen a slight change in shape, there really has been no weight loss as such- making me realise that it really is my eating that needs to change.
I'm wondering about having weight loss surgery. I've been thinking about it for a long time and whilst I realise that it's not a quick fix, the idea that I could have some control over my intake- as well as repercussions such as feeling sick if I were to over indulge- is quite appealing. Have spoken to my other half (who is a natural slim jim and doesn't get my struggle in the slightest!) and he says that I should wait until after children (planning to start trying in about a year and a half) but I want to be in the best mental and physical shape I can possibly be before starting a family and really believe that surgery is the way forward for me.
Sorry I am rambling...Just wanted some advice on the pros and cons of different weight loss surgeries and whether you think it would be effective for me?

Thanks in advance!
 
Hello...its something you need to think about seriously. Its not a magic wand it is a life changing tool of which only works if you work with it. I was your height and weight when i had my sleeve, after about 18 months of research and change of mind! I had reached the point where all i thought about was food, i have always been a binge eater not a grazer, and it was totally out of control.
Since my sleeve I am now six and a half stone and wearing childrens clothes! Yes i love it, its amazing being so tiny and i feel great, but i still have the food demons in my head! I have been very moody at times due to no fat to store oestrogen and i had substituted eating for cleaning like a mad woman! Other people have struggled to lose the weight they wanted and keep it off due to old habits still being there.
Its a tough one..its for life, its expensive, you can suffer with nutrient deficiencies..i have struggled with iron.
If you want a family i would focus on that first, children are a life changer, not that i have any!
Im sure people will offer other opinions but it is a difficult journey is all i will say so read, read and read. I have days where i miss being able to eat so much i could scream! Good luck with your journey x
 
Thank you so much for your reply Kar8858, crunch time came at the weekend when I went for a consultation at my local THG clinic.
Had a good chat with Mr Richardson, the surgeon, who was very honest about the different types of surgery available. As my bmi is 33, we decided that the best type for me would be the band. The nurse offered some appointments for the end of May but I was quite determined to have a long think first....
Which of course meant I phoned them first thing Monday morning to book in.
After thinking about doing this for a good few years and quietly saving, it's very strange to think that it's actually happening. Part of me feels I must be mad for not thinking about it for a few weeks after having the consultation, but then the other part of me knows that I would have talked myself out of it and ended up embarking on another fad diet- destined to fail as always!
I'm excited about what the journey will bring and have been obsessively reading posts on here to try and prepare myself!
 
I for one have never regretted having surgery , I just wish I had had the means to have it years ago , but we can't go backwards so now I will enjoy the rest of my life ..
This decision is totally yours but you have to be totally honest about why your having it done as its not an easy way out as most people think . It's emotional , deeply so , it's scary , it can be dangerous .. I sailed through my surgery and aftercare , but some people aren't so lucky and they have terrible side affects , you have to consider this also ..
Im a new Bander of only 6 weeks and I've just had my 1st fill .. Ive lost a total of 3st in 8'weeks , 2 weeks of liver shrink before surgery , so I'm going great guns but I have a lot of weight to loose so it's going to be a long journey for me and not a quick fix ..
I would say , if you have the money then do it , your only young now , but age creeps up very quickly and before you know it you will have weight related illness , including the arthritic knees I suffer from due to carrying around all this excess weight .. Don't fool yourself and think it won't happen to me , because it will . How can a body carry around an extremely heavy weight for the rest of its life without consequences ..
Mindy
Xxxx
 
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How exciting :)
@countrywench is right (as always) do it while you're young so you can get the most out of it :)
It sounds like you have a good surgeon there too
 
I can't advise with the surgery because I have not had any yet, but I can tell you being pregnant while being bigger is hard work! I was 'only' about 3 stone overweight when I was pregnant but I got a lot of pelvis problems which was certainly not made any easier with extra weight!
It would be much easier if you were healthy and slim, and then could run around after your children!
 
Hey city chick, welcome to the forum. I too am 5ft 4 and had my surgery at my heaviest at 15st. I'm now 14.5 weeks post off and I wish I had done it sooner. Like you portions and control was my issue and speaking to my consultant affirmed that the band was best suited to me. I had a consultation back in 2013 and wish I had gone for it then, instead I tried more diets, tried to convince myself I was perfectly happy the way I was.. all that jazz! Then in January this year I decided I needed to do it, went for my consultation and booked to have it done 2 weeks later.

You're bound to be up and down (I was too) but you know deep down you need to get this under control. It's a life-changing decision to make and be proud of yourself for taking the first step. You'll see when you're on the losers bench xox
 
Thank you all for your comments- it really does mean the world to me. You're all so right, type two diabetes is rife in my family and I just need to sort myself out before it gets me too. I already suffer with aches and pains in my back due to an old injury but I'm certain that weight plays a massive part.
Kimberley you really have hit the nail on the head- pregnancy and parenthood is like running a marathon and I don't want to turn up to the starting line without any training under my belt if that makes sense!
I'm a nurse in a hospice and every day I see how short life is and that its so easy to put things off until tomorrow so maybe that explains why I'm so determined in making this decision...who knows!
Another question (sorry!) what were your experiences of telling your family? How did you tell them, were they supportive? Am tempted to just keep my mouth shut until it's all over to be honest!
 
My family were brilliant to be honest and I chose carefully who I told so I didn't have to put with any sarcastic of negative comments .. I needed to stay upbeat and focused and not be dragged down by anyone .. So only tell who needs to be told and swear them to secrecy , after all it's nobody's business but yours ..
Xxx
 
My Mum was upset and said "cant you just be more focussed with slimming world and put your mind to it" !!!! Like i have never "put my mind to it" before!!!!!!

Then we had a talk and I explained I am fed up of losing the same 2-3 stone over and over again - that when she goes on holiday and puts on a few pounds she watches what she eats when she comes home (ie diets), loses it (I am not saying she finds it easy) and gets back to her "normal" weight, but when I go on holiday and put weight on, I lose the weight, but then I have another 8/9 stone to go and it is disheartening, demoralising and feels impossible.

I explained that I diet every year spring to summer and lose some weight "for my holiday" I get back into my summer clothes, but then the minute I stop the diet and eat normally on holiday the weight goes on and I am back to losing that same weight again. I feel like I am on a hamster wheel! I get to January and it has all gone back on and then I start again with the diet. I told her that I am worried about what is around the corner - that my knee is bad now but if I don't do something I am on a slippery slope. I need to do it now before things get worse.

I think she gets it now.

She didn't want me to tell my Dad, but now it is booked she told him and he phoned me and told me how proud he was, that he thinks I am brave and they will support me.

I cried.

I was really worried how he would react, and I didn't know what they would react more about, the surgery, or the borrowing money part of it. In the end he offered something towards the surgery which is something I never expected!

So, you can never 100% guess how people will react - they might surprise you! But as Mindy says, if this is what you want, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - It needs to be right for you and if they love you, then they should support you - they don't have to 100% agree with it, but they should support your decision.
 
Hannah your first paragraph I could have written! My mum is wonderful but she says exactly the same 'put your mind to it'...'if you wanted to lose weight that badly then you would'....she doesn't get how much it drags me down!

You're both right and thank you for replying. I'm quite an open book so I feel guilt for not telling people which is just ridiculous! At the moment I only really need to tell OH as I live with him- although have discussed it, haven't told him I've booked it as he would rather I waited until after babies. Unless any of you can advise how to how to hide it haha!

My parents are worriers and although I'm confident they would support me despite not being happy about it, I'd rather tell them down the line, hopefully after losing some weight so they can see its (fingers crossed!) working and that I'm (again, fingers crossed!) alright.

Seem to have so many thoughts going round my head at the mo! Sorry for ranting/rambling/general making nuisance of myself haha! X
 
Wow my mum was the same
Really do you need this done .... just lose weight ..yeah like I've not tried that over the 30yrs I've been dieting...
Lose 2stone put on 3 ....
My dad didn't say anything
My husband was just concerned about loose skin !!! Least of my probs love ....
3 sons .... who were all happy and the youngest commented that he'd never seen me slim !!! (and he's 23) ....
But in the end it's all about me ...
It's what I wanted
Selfish ??!! No I also did, it for them so I can be around for them all xxx
 
Don't get me wrong, I am struggling with what I am going to do and how open I am going to be to other people!

Do I tell people at work what operation I am having done, or do I just say "abdominal surgery" and leave it at that - but then as the weight comes off I think it might be obvious! Although, they know I have been going for scans/other tests so they know other things are going on health wise. I have my knee op in a few weeks and will be off work for 2 weeks so I daren't say anything yet - lets get the first operation out of the way and then think about it!
 
Hannah2 said:
My Mum was upset and said "cant you just be more focussed with slimming world and put your mind to it" !!!! Like i have never "put my mind to it" before!!!!!!

Then we had a talk and I explained I am fed up of losing the same 2-3 stone over and over again - that when she goes on holiday and puts on a few pounds she watches what she eats when she comes home (ie diets), loses it (I am not saying she finds it easy) and gets back to her "normal" weight, but when I go on holiday and put weight on, I lose the weight, but then I have another 8/9 stone to go and it is disheartening, demoralising and feels impossible.

I explained that I diet every year spring to summer and lose some weight "for my holiday" I get back into my summer clothes, but then the minute I stop the diet and eat normally on holiday the weight goes on and I am back to losing that same weight again. I feel like I am on a hamster wheel! I get to January and it has all gone back on and then I start again with the diet. I told her that I am worried about what is around the corner - that my knee is bad now but if I don't do something I am on a slippery slope. I need to do it now before things get worse.

I think she gets it now.

She didn't want me to tell my Dad, but now it is booked she told him and he phoned me and told me how proud he was, that he thinks I am brave and they will support me.

I cried.

I was really worried how he would react, and I didn't know what they would react more about, the surgery, or the borrowing money part of it. In the end he offered something towards the surgery which is something I never expected!

So, you can never 100% guess how people will react - they might surprise you! But as Mindy says, if this is what you want, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - It needs to be right for you and if they love you, then they should support you - they don't have to 100% agree with it, but they should support your decision.
Click to expand...
Wonderful dad
 
Good luck
 
Aw good luck Sunshine! Thanks everyone. In the car at the mo with my OH, he's just stopped to get fuel and has come back with a share bag of m&ms....he's dutifully not offered me any as I've asked him not too. Between you and me I'm watching him munching away and I've decided that I'd quite happily rip out every single one of my finger nails for that bag of chocolate! Urgh am I mental?!
 
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