Why does it allways have to be so hard

[Amrac1]

Sorry Carol I agree with the others as well. Your pup is now a member of your family as are your grandchildren. You need to tell your daughter that you and the pup are a package. If she tries the emotional blackmail (as this is what I think it is) tell her that as her mother you are disappointed in her attitude and that you love your grand children to bits but you also love your pup. If she needs you like she says she will she will have to back down!
Lots of love
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Jane]

Please don't let yourself get almost blackmailed by your own daughter. George and you go together, if you go to her house he goes with you. If her other half does not like it then perhaps he can sort out the childcare another way.

I totally agree with what has been said, it sounds as though your daughter is trying to make you feel guilty. You don't need to be feeling guilty - George is your baby. If you get rid of George what about your other four days? In reality you will miss him lots. What loving daughter would expect that? As mentioned, if you have a crate you can leave at her house for 'time out' I can't see why she should have such a problem with George in her home.

She needs you more and it is up to her to find a way to solve it. Maybe even you having the kids just one day a week and leaving george at home and her paying for care the other two days. You will still be saving her quite a bit of money.

It is really down to your daughter to choose which way she wants to work it so that you keep George, no question.

 

[angelajoy1961]

Hang on a minute - you have an hours train ride to get to them, to do them this MASSIVE favour, spend YOUR time looking after THEIR children, save them loads of money and they are dictating the terms ?? I think not !!!

My suggestion is ; We (you and pup) will look after your children and inconvenience ourselves but we come as a team. Your 'child' (pup) needs you to spend time with him too.

Be strong as they don't have a choice if they need you that badly.

Angela

 

[novamay]

I wouldn't even dream of asking my mother to travel an hour on the train to and from, three days a week to childmind. Ok if you lived only a couple of streets away but not an hour's journey - that's just taking the biscuit.

Are they paying your fare, or will you be expected to pay for this?

I understand your fears about not seeing your grandchildren if you don't accept her terms, but what kind of daughter would do that to her own mother?

Is His mother/parents not able to look after the children if they live closer; or have they been asked to do a share so that you don't have to do all three days?

Has your daughter considered looking for a job in which she can work around school/nursery hours - eg employers have flexible working hours? Can they 'downscale' if they can't afford the mortgage?

Alternatively rather than give up your little George, is there a neighbour - either one of yours who can pop in on George during the day; or a neighour of your daughters who'd be kind enough to house George for a few hours while you're with the grandchildren? Does you daughter's house have an outside space (with room for a kennel) where George could go rather than being in the house while you're there - not fair on George tho?

Also, what ages are the children - I'm sure they'd love to see George and take him for a walk - will they be at home, or at school/nursery - will you be sitting alone in the house most of the time while you're at your daughters? How long will this be for - have you got the stamina to childmind for years ahead?

Importantly - how much will you miss George if you do give him up? George will soon grow into an adult and could learn to be by himself for a few hours a day a few days a week; and you would have him with you the rest of the week.

I think that our pets become family members in their own right; they provide us with a listening ear and a comforting paw in sad times. They don't complain and they put up with a lot from us when we're in a strop. They entertain us with their antics, even when they're being naughty we still love them. They are often with us til their dying day. I couldn't give up my 'bairns' not for anyone; and I could never ask anyone to give up a cherised pet for me.

I'm sure you've thought of these questions, and many more - but I wouldn't rush into a decision about George if I were you.

Your daughter needs to give a little in this - she's wanting too much her way. I agree with the comments on here that your daughter is being manipulative and also that her children are her responsiblity. You are the children's grandmother and naturally you want to help, but ultimate responsibility rests with your daughter and her partner.

Only you can make the final decision but I hope that you can reach compromise over George and keep him in your life...

 

[Wendy1]

The dog is your baby, you would not tell her to get rid of the kids, Please tell her you will look after the kids if the dog can come. you will allways regret it be strong x

 

[BlueDiamond]

You would be making all the sacrifices, that is so wrong on every level.....Dont give up the dog/pup thats not fair at all......

 

[Karlos]

thank you all for your kind words .i cant have the boys at mine as i am an hour away on a train and i have to be at her house to take the 5year old to school and pick him up at 3pm and i no the cat would get on with goerge as the cat is bigger than him.i think it is him that does not want the dog there i am getting annoyed at them now as they have allways treaded this mum alot better than me they go up there aleast once a week i never really see them down here and i only see the boys when i go up there and i have to go a train at £25.00 a time but then his family have more monney than me

This is a wind up surely? You're going to have to get rid of your dog, take a two hour round trip each day and look after your daughter's kids for free? Not even East Enders would come up with a plot so unbelievable honey.

 

[BlueDiamond]

This is a wind up surely? You're going to have to get rid of your dog, take a two hour round trip each day and look after your daughter's kids for free? Not even East Enders would come up with a plot so unbelievable honey.

 

[diesel]

sorry carol but i agree with all the other guys. why should you give up the puppy you love. my daughter is expecting her first child in april and i have a very powerful staffi who will be introduced and grow up with her baby that i will be looking after. i wouldnt even consider getting rid of him. no wonder you are upset hun, i would be but there must be some compromise here. what sort of dog is it hun? hope you can sort something agreeable for you all. x

 

[Littlebritain]

I really do understand, that's a huge sacrifice to make but one that appears to be your only option. But really is it - there has to be a compromise ?
I notice your from Kent I used to live in borough green and there were several Doggy daycare far cheaper than childcare so maybe your daughter would pay for that and your pup will have a blast running around with the others?
Hope this helps? It is heartbreaking to part with a pet.

 

[phatmomma]

Whoa!!! Stop the train.... Please forgive me now

But who the hell does your daughter and her husband think you are? If they want you to be good enough to look after their children then they are going to have to accept your rules...

Firstly they can invest in a cage/crate (if i remember rightly your pup is not going to be a big dog) so that when your dog wants peace from the cat he has a respite place.

Flipping kids who expect grandparents to be unpaid childminders need a short sharp reality check! My father always told me '' you made your bed, you lie in it''. If they don't like your rules then someone in that house needs to change their shift pattern or tighten their belts...

You've had your children and raised them, it's time for you to have a bit of something you want!

Sorry rant over but it made me mad

 

[penguina]

No question.... Keep the Doggy ​

Not only does your daughter want you to loose your puppy, have a two hour commute three days a week, and be out of pocket by £75 getting there. It is just not on.

Maybe I have made assumptions and she is going to pay your train fare, but still.
You will be absolutely shattered on those three days. Travelling and looking after her kids all day. I have friends who help out on childcare, but none travel a distance to do it by public transport.

Stick to your guns, and look after the little family you have with Georgie Doggy. Who is going to keep you company and love you unconditionally for the 4 days a week you are not being a saint? George that's who.