Yve's Photo Diary - 4 years on

[chrisa]

That is a very normal feeling Yvessa even the models in this world have parts of their body they do not like or want to change, boobs and noses are the biggest for the slimmest people. It comes back to the old saying what is 'normal' for everyone their perception of this will be slightly different. We all have hopes and dreams its whether we let them take us over and take over our lives. xx

 

[femfrankie]

In our heads when we were at our biggest we saw size 14/12/10 as being the perfect number, the perfect us. Now we are there we discover that we are not as "perfect" as we thought we were going to be. The reality is nobody is perfect and everyone has an issue with something. No matter how small that imperfection maybe to us it's as well to be a huge wart on the face for those that are suffering it be it big ears or huge bingo wings
I have finally waved a guilty bye bye to the old me and accept that the new me although nowhere near perfect is in so much better shape and more aesthetic to the eye.
Finding that acceptance is the hard part x

 

[Yvessa]

Maybe you are right Frankie. I just don't really know what's going on in my head at the minute. I am so proud of my loss but I cannot be okay with what I see in the mirror. And that weight that I have lost never seems enough. I am happy with where I am in terms of my diet and exercise but that's about it.

 

[femfrankie]

Yve I know exactly where you are are coming from but I was also conscious that my disappointment in my shape was really starting to get in the way of the enjoyment of my success.. My husband knows me inside and out & could see I was struggling with it all and asked to photograph me in my underwear so I could see what he saw... No dirty thoughts please people!.... It was all entirely therapeutic. It was whilst looking through those pictures that I had my WOW moment. I hasten to add that if any one here decides to do this then do it with your best fitting stuff on and if you don't have any then go buy some that do before proceeding! There is no point in this exercise if you are not entirely comfortable with it all or with yourself .
Now I am not blind to the fact that my body is not perfect but as I looked through these photographs I wasn't as bad as my mind or mirror reflected image perceived me to be either! In fact at first I didnt recognise me at all in them so warped was my perception!
I don't think we realise how warped our perceptions are.. I think I told you Yve about our recent visit to the zoo where there was a lady walking in front of us. Looking at her from behind I judged her to be the same size as me in height and girth. I played the usual is she bigger or smaller than me? game and hubby sighing asked me to walk almost beside her and said no for goodness sake you are way way smaller by a long shot..I was shocked because I genuinely believed we were of the same stature.. Poor woman if only she knew what as going on behind her she would have been mortified .. I know I would be .
We are not good judges of how we look especially naked and it goes without saying clothes that sit and fit right go a long way to hide the flaws and emphasise the good bits. Lycra & Control wear is without a doubt a blessing
Never ever doubt that you are a beautiful woman Yve because you are stunning!

 

[Llora]

I am sorry to hear that you are not happy with what you see in the mirror.

i can only say that in the pictures i see an amazing beautiful woman and her amazing transformation inspires me!

To be honest i think that we are always the hardest critics to ourselves! And no nice words can help until you will feel great within youself. I am sure the loose skin might be one of the biggest issues why you cant be happy about the woman you see in the mirror.

I really hope you can work it out in your head! Because you are pretty! And probably every single woman in the world has some parts about themselves they hate..

Maybe every morning when standing infront of the mirror try to notice (force yourself if needed) at least 3 nice things about yourself! And say them loud to yourself when looking at yourself! Maybe that day your hair looks extra good.. Or your eyes look more bright.. Maybe you will start noticing the other bits you like the ones you usually miss when looking at the whole you.. Just try to concentrate on the things you like about yourself and embrace that!

Good luck! You deserve to be happy!

 

[Butterfly_lady]

Yve I know exactly where you are are coming from but I was also conscious that my disappointment in my shape was really starting to get in the way of the enjoyment of my success.. My husband knows me inside and out & could see I was struggling with it all and asked to photograph me in my underwear so I could see what he saw... No dirty thoughts please people!.... It was all entirely therapeutic. It was whilst looking through those pictures that I had my WOW moment. I hasten to add that if any one here decides to do this then do it with your best fitting stuff on and if you don't have any then go buy some that do before proceeding! There is no point in this exercise if you are not entirely comfortable with it all or with yourself .
Now I am not blind to the fact that my body is not perfect but as I looked through these photographs I wasn't as bad as my mind or mirror reflected image perceived me to be either! In fact at first I didnt recognise me at all in them so warped was my perception!
I don't think we realise how warped our perceptions are.. I think I told you Yve about our recent visit to the zoo where there was a lady walking in front of us. Looking at her from behind I judged her to be the same size as me in height and girth. I played the usual is she bigger or smaller than me? game and hubby sighing asked me to walk almost beside her and said no for goodness sake you are way way smaller by a long shot..I was shocked because I genuinely believed we were of the same stature.. Poor woman if only she knew what as going on behind her she would have been mortified .. I know I would be .
We are not good judges of how we look especially naked and it goes without saying clothes that sit and fit right go a long way to hide the flaws and emphasise the good bits. Lycra & Control wear is without a doubt a blessing
Never ever doubt that you are a beautiful woman Yve because you are stunning!

Thats a good post Frankie hunni, also when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror/shop window unexpectedly, I remember walking into a new area in Ikea and saw myself in a full length mirror and I was shocked as I looked "normal" whatever normal is but its what I perceive as normal, shame it only lasted a few seconds as the more I looked the fatter I got

 

[terrilou]

Positive affirmations, they do work. Its just hard thinking of something positive when you've always been so critical about yourself. Why not start with something like "you have come so far and look amazing" repeat this to yourself in the mirror 3 times. Do this a few times during the day. xxx

 

[Kar8858]

This is so true, no matter what size we are we are never happy! Years ago i lost 5 stone and was 8st and a few pounds, i still wasnt happy...my boobs were too small and saggy! Now ive put the weight back on they are big round D cups again...but its the rest of me i dont like now! We cant win! Alot of my fat goes to my thighs and bum, hopefully it will shift from there again.

 

[Yvessa]

Thanks everyone for your support. Sure I'll get there in the end. I am happy with bits of myself. I quite like this one of me.

 

[Kar8858]

Oh thats lovely! Do you have an indian background?

 

[Yvessa]

Yes Indian, but born and brought up here.

 

[Lilacglittergirl]

Yve!! You fox! You look amazing - even more so than ever. You are right to be very happy indeed with that photo - you are a very beautiful woman. Let's be honest, folks will see the beautiful face with beaming smile before they see what you consider the negatives about you - and they probably won't notice them at all TBH. As Frankie says, no matter what body image issues we have developed after WLS, we are so much better looking than our obese former selves. I hate my boobies. HATE them! I have tried to accept but cannot. I am having them sorted - yes, if someone could wave a wand and take away my apron, bingos and wrinkly inner thighs, yes I would let them. But the issues I have in those areas do not warrant (for me) the time, pain expense, incapacitation, etc that sorting them will entail. I look in the mirror and wish they were not there, true enough. But I am philosophical about them and have just kinda of accepted them as part of the new me. It is hard indeed, and admittedly my experience is what it is for me, and my thoughts are with you and all super-losers when facing the skin issue. Hugs a million xxxxxx

 

[femfrankie]

Can never accept the loose skin but accept that it's there and there is not a lot I can do about it so I'm not going to get all hung up over it ..my life is too short and after spending my whole life craving just a normal body I don't intend wasting a minute more doing so.
Like you lilac I have identified what area bugs me the most, bingos and boobs at the moment, and I WILL get those done as soon as my weight stabilises. However as I am still nearly two stone from target that may change as my body shape does

 

[Yvessa]

Believe me I would love to be philosophical. And I recognise how selfish and ungrateful I must sounD, to be unhappy after such a gigantic success post op. I am sure I will be fine with time.

 

[Bally]

Yve, you look sooo beautiful in your last picture! And sooo happy too.
Hope the blues are over.
XX

 

[heavenlykaty]

Four days to go.....how exciting....have you got everything ready ?

 

[Yvessa]

Pretty much And then some moments it feels like nothings sorted lol

 

[Kar8858]

Yve have a great day and enjoy it, be happy, you only live once!

 

[Matra]

Yve, so excited for you! Have an absolutely fantastic day and I can't wait to see some pictures x

 

[Lippyloirston]

You look beautiful! I'd like to take this opportunity to wish you an absolutely fabulous wedding day. Live in the moment, and enjoy! Xxx