BORN TO BE FAT !

[canireallydothis!!]

Hey Kandy, bin your so called friend along with those words.

ok, time to think about you, its not about anyone else, its about you, all of us, even our CDCs have struggled with our weight over the years, we all try every diet before a VLCD and yup, some of us put it all on again, me included in the past.

But that doesnt mean to say that its forever, you are not born to be fat hun, just born to have a few struggles on the way with being slim, they say him upstairs dishes it out to those who can take it and we are just the ones who are that strong. I never ever thought I would lose the weight, ever ever in my life, never mind staying there when i got there! So now Ive lost it I have to stay there!!!

Stay strong babe, Mike is fab fab, and doesnt mind that you have put on a bit, he's just really pleased that you are being strong enough to do something about it. (imo!) and guess what, it takes a very strong person to do this, and you are a very special strong person.

I did a post on DQs thread, Ill try and find it and copy it on here, its about why I did VLCD and maybe some of the thigs I put will help you.

Hugs to you hun, you are one fab lady, and you will get there x

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Ok Laydee

Its now time to do this for YOU, no one else, just you.

You have to be selfish, you have to think, b*gger it, Im gonna do it.

You have to get your head down and keep going. Batter that chatterbox down, coz dya know what, it aint gonna win, YOU are going to win.

Every step of the way you need to think about YOU.

You arent doing it for him, her, whoever, you are doing this for YOU.

You are doing this to be happier, healthier and to live life to the max.

You are doing this because it will take a few small weeks/months out of your life to make you live the rest of your years being the person who you want to be, the person YOU are inside that needs to get out.

And, dya know what, you can do it, I have great faith in you, but you need to have faith in YOU too.

You wouldnt be on minis today of you thought you couldnt do it, you know you can, and its just finding that inner strength to stand up and shout, YES I can do it, I can do this for ME!

Focus on what you want to be when you reach that goal, get tunnel vision and keep hurtling through it, dont look left or right, as the distraction might be there, keep your eyes on that prize (sorry mike, but its such a great saying!) and dont let anything stand in your way of being YOU.

and, that was me, throughout all my SS journey, keep my head down and do this for me, yep I love DD and DH immensly, but my journey wasnt for them, it was for me, it just made all our lives better for me doing it x

ou.[/QUOTE]

This was what I put on DQs thread, and I hope it helps you too x

 

[icemoose]

Hi Bettyboo,
Amen to that !

Well its official i have an appointment on tuesday evening !!

Yey !!!!!!!!!!!

Yep and this time we will finish what we started!!

M.

 

[Ivy]

I can only say what others have said - she has some nerve...what a pal eh

That said - maybe she didnt mean to be a meanie...like suggesting its predispositioned doesnt really mean she was having a go...but i wasnt there so playing devils advocate

Good Luck missis!

Dont let em grind ya down

Ivy

 

[kandy]

Hey Roch and Mike Ivy ,
Thanks for your posts i am gonna give it my best shot "one day at a time " !

Thanks canireallydothis for your support and your post is really helpfull i will definitely be coming back to that for furure reference XXXXXXX Julie XXXXXX

 

[Diva]

Hiya Kandy

What concerns me even more than her obviously ridiculous comments is that you have twice referred to this person as a "lovely friend"!

By all means do what you have to in order to look and feel better about your appearance, but I would also suggest that you start to evaluate what is really important to you in terms of friendships and how much mutual respect there is actually going on!

A true friend may well have made those comments but they would never have made them in such a tactless and insensitive way. True friends tell us what we don't want to hear but what sets them apart is that they always have our best intentions at heart. True friends know our sensitivities and our insecurities and make it their business to ensure that we are soothed and nurtured through difficult times.

Most of us have been where you are Kandy whereby we have lost weight and regained it and even turn into virtual hermits because we don;t want anyone to have the opportunity to say "I told you so". However, with the love and support of your true friends, you can accept it as part of life's cycle and set about the road to permanent "recovery"... You are now in a fantastic position because you have done it before and know what can go wrong...Do it again but do it differently this time using what you have learned to ensure long term success....

Just don't forget to post about her reaction when she next sees you not only looking good but feeling so great about yourself that you no longer think that such a spiteful cow is a "lovely friend"!!

We're all with you hun...xx

 

[Diva]

Kandy....

I was just wondering whether you have had any update on this "friend"????

 

[Fifiqueen]

Kandy,
Diva has it down pat! I've often found that when people comment negatively about my weight, whether large or slim it's normally because they feel better about me being big because it makes them feel better about themselves. I'm learning to watch out for the wolves in sheeps clothing.

One last thing, your weight does not define who you are, it's just one element of you. Food has most probably been your friend and comfort for a long time and that's most probably why you ran to it when you friend said hurtful words. I've run to food for almost every emotion and occasion whether sunshine or rain. It's that relationship with food that I want to tackle changing that changes everything.

So you weren't born to be fat at all, it's just that somewhere along the way food became your best ally and so, without a viable substitute, it's been supporting you along your life's journey in one way or another.

If you can work on building relationships that are mutually supportive and on changing your relationship food you'll start to change your outlook on you. You are beautiful no matter what they say!!

I know that this is what I am working on this year and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it!!

 

[kandy]

Thanks Diva and Fifiqueen,

Well i actually saw my "friend" over christmas and she has actually gained weight and alot of it ! So i thought heres my chance to be mean and get even but i couldn't do it glad i didn't i am the bigger person (not for much longer though lol !) xxx

 

[DQ]

I'm glad you didn't either, but I must admit I'm not sure I would have been able to resist!

 

[LISEE]

dont think i would have resisted either after reading this whole thread!

glad to see you are back on it! and next time you see her she may have gained more and you would have lost more... how good would that feel...hehe...

keep going!

 

[mindless]

so many people don't think before engaging their mouths - its an art form that seems to have been lost in this reactive world.

You see it everywhere - everyone has to have an opinion and express it as quickly as possibly. In the past, I think more kept their thoughts to themselves - and to be honest, we need more of that - I think its called demonstrable tolerance.

How many of us have sent an e-mail, text or just said something and then thought - I shouldn't have sent/said that.

I have to say that I don't think there is a lot of deliberate nastiness about fat people - just a lot of people who are nasty about anything that they express an opinion on..

That dictates their subconsious behaviour and without thinking the only thing that comes out is bile.

There are so few 'positive' speakers - its all doom and gloom and bile just adds to the sense of 'horrible world'.

More tolerance and self determination for all.

Viva the revolution

Ignore your friend Kandy, do what you want for you - delight in your success and not others failures - and be tolerant of non thinking shallow hals

Good luck

Mindless

 

[Cait]

Ugh. What a glib and uncaring comment that was.

But......you AREN'T "born to be fat". No one is........everyone has different situations and that leads to differnt bodies and body types..... but you aren't "destined" to be 4st overweight for all time. You yourself proved it. You lost that weight all on your own volition. You proved that you don't absolutely *need* the surgery. You have done and can do this again. You *will* be a raging success once more. Because your going to show that person where they can stick their comment..........

 

[kandy]

Hi ,
Thank you all for your kind and thought provoking comments .

Well she is getting bigger and unfortunately i am not getting smaller but i am getting my body ready for an ss attack as we speak upping the water and reducing the carbs i need to do this as my weight is distressing me physically and emotionally !!!!

Thanks again and i know i was not born to be fat but my poor muddled brain needs a little tweaking to get me back in that good place again wish me luck guys lotsa love Julie xxx

 

[DQ]

We're right with ya when you start honey

 

[kandy]

Hey DQ,
YOU never give up on me do ya ? thats why i luvs ya x

How are you getting on hunny ?
Love julie xxx

 

[DQ]

Course I'll never give up on you - you're gonna make it babes

Me good - on day 20 today!!

 

[kandy]

OMFG DQ WHOOOOHOOOOO !!!!!

I am sooo proud of ya hunny 20 days you ROCK !!!!!!!!!

XXXX XXXXXX

 

[DQ]

Thanks honey - still can't believe it myself!!

 

[mrs tweedy]

Hey Kandy just popping in to wish you luck, you can do it this time babe, xx