Discouraged

[Rebirth]

Hi all, Rebirth here. I went to the hospital yesterday and saw the nurse. I was glad that my sister came with me. She is still not sure about it all, but is supporting me non-the-less. I have to admit I left feeling very despondent and worthless. I have to see a psychiatrist due to my history of bulimia before they can proceed any further. It was the fact that the nurse made me feel like a chastised child and second rate citizen. She firstly said that I had taken an hour and a half for an half hour appointment, (my sister pointed out that we had been an hour) as I and my sister had asked a lot of questions. I have to admit her body language had told me she was distracted quite a while before this. She then said that the patients who were waiting were paying for their op (mine is on the NHS). I have to admit I was shocked by this as I should not be treated or viewed any differently. I have to admit I was a bit childish and told her that I had also paid for the operation by my NI contributions during my working life. I know that being obese is my own fault, but it doesn't make me any less human or sensitive than other people. Then to cap it all she has put me with Mr Li, instead of Mr Ammori ,as I had some problems with dissolvable stitches following the birth of my first child and they queried whether I was allergic. There was no discussion, this was done because Mr Li uses surgical glue. I only knew because I saw her write something on the front of my notes and I asked if I was with Mr Ammori. After all this she then did my BP and surprise, surprise it was high. I now have to see my GP so it can be stabilised.

May be I am over reacting. But I have felt as if a lead weight has been put on my shoulders since yesterday and haven't stopped crying. Maybe I am making the biggest mistake of my life???

Has anyone been operated on by Mr Li? What was he like? The nurse said he is a very nice person and has done quite a few bypass operations, (though not as much as Mr Ammori). Please can someone put my mind at ease?

Rebirth:cry:

 

[phatgirl]

Hi Rebirth, hope your holiday was lovely. Please don't panic, take deep breaths it will all work out.
The surgeon you mentioned's full name is Mr. Alan GK Li, and he has a profile on Spire, the Alexandra, Manchester Royal Infirmary, basically all the places that Mr. Ammori has worked so that is a good sign. He has published some research on surgical intervention in bowel cancer so he has experience with bariatric surgery. Here is a link to his Sugicare profile: Mr Alan Li Weight Loss Surgeon - Surgicare UK

He obviously has experience and has worked with Mr. Ammori & his team in the past. If you are really concerned you can contact his private service and inquire about how man procedures he has done etc.

As for that nurse, that is APPALLING the way she treated you, there is never a call for making someone feel worthless! Was this appointment at Salford Royal or elsewhere? You really should complain, it is the only way that something can be done about they way people are treated. Please don't be discouraged, the process is long and rough sometimes but it is soooo worth it, I PROMISE!

Chin up,
Nic

 

[elffie01]

Rebirth that is absolutley disgusting the way the nurse treat you. I, like PG, suggest you complain immediately.

If the appointment was for 30 mins then she should have stated so at the beginning. She should also NOT be talking to you about other patients and thier procedures and funding. That is a breach of data protection, and should be reported. But good for you for telling her you paid as you have.
She should respect and treat every patient the same, that is disgraceful. Please report it, she wont change unless something is said and it puts bad press onto the hospital.

Take it to heart that you probably wont see that nurse again, and you are on your way so stuff her (after you have reported her ass)

Good luck hun, dont let one person ruin your wl experience

 

[phatgirl]

Rebirth I just saw TPT post that she had Mr. Li, http://www.minimins.com/surgical-weight-loss/113842-surgicare-manchester.html#post1956060

why don't you message her?

Nic

 

[Rebirth]

Hi Nic, Elfie and Porpos, thank you for your support. I have thought about complaining but I'm worried that it could spoil my chances of wls as the bariatric nurse is the one who decides you can go ahead and refers you to the consultant. After saying that, she said I met the guidelines and had to wait for the psych assessment before she could refer me. I chose the Spire because the waiting time was less than at Salford and Mr Ammori also worked there.

I don't know why her unprofessional behaviour has affected me so much. I'm still tearful every time I think about it.

Thanks for the link Nic, Mr Li looks very young (perhaps I'm too old), to have had much experience, but, the link you posted does seem to credit him with a lot of experience. I think I will phone up and find out some more information about him and how many gastric bypasses he's done. The nurse said that his infection rate at the Spire was very low. I will try and message Tpt to find out what her experiences with Mr Li was like.

Elfie you are right, she did contravene patient confidentiality. I wonder if she even realises that? I did apologise to the lady who was waiting outside, she was very sweet about it all and not at all bothered.

Thanks again.

love

Rebirth xx

 

[elffie01]

I would complain, Im 100% sure that she is not the only person who agrees to your surgery. Im sure your surgeon has a say.
Im also sure that you can complain in confidence. Imagine if she did that to other NHS patients! Or anyone else for that matter.
If you are still worried then complain as soon as its okayed and/or you get your op date. Contravening the Data Protection is a sackable offence in some instances and although Im sure you dont want that they have to know that she is doing this. She probably hasnt realised shes doing it so will just need a nudge. It is only a minor contravene but is still one all the same.

Please please please dont let that woman upset you and your journey. She is a small factor in your future and isnt worth the tears. Cheer up hun if your lucky you wont have to see her again.

 

[CCPM]

Please don't let this one woman put you off Rebirth, you meet all sorts of odd people in all walks of life, put it behind you and press on you deserve this surgery and will get there soon.

M

 

[Rebirth]

Please don't let this one woman put you off Rebirth, you meet all sorts of odd people in all walks of life, put it behind you and press on you deserve this surgery and will get there soon.

M

You're right and so are the others. I shouldn't expend so much energy on her. Time to turn over the page and continue putting my energy to good use, pursuing wls.

Thanks for the support.

 

[Rebirth]

I went to see my GP today who was very supportive. He checked my BP and suprise, suprise it was the lowest it has been for a long time. I can usually tell when I am hypertensive due to the effects it has on my body so it was her attitude (or should I say my reaction to her) which caused it to be elevated.

I hadn't realised how much support I had from my GP as it has taken me some years to persuade him to refer me for wls. He's going to continue giving me Orlistat until I've seen the consultant, as the nurse had said if I was heavier when I saw her next, I would not be able to have the surgery.

My daughters have been really lovely tonight and treated me to a foot, arm and face massage as they felt I needed cheering up. They also said that there was less of me to hug and my 'love handles' were smaller. They're only 8 and 6. The 6yr old also did my hair (note entirely relaxing), but the sentiment was very appreciated. My husband has given me more hugs than I've had in ages. I am truly blessed to have such a supportive family and to have a site with lovely people like you who I can turn to for advice.

love
Rebirth xx

 

[AJCrafts]

I am so sorry to hear about your experience, you really should complain otherwise she will continue treating people in this disgusting manner! You did the right thing going to your GP and I am glad that has put your mind at rest regarding your BP. Just take it easy, you have a wonderful family who are supporting you 100% and you will get there in the end. Hope to see you Wednesday.

 

[elffie01]

Aww Rebirth, looks like you have a loving and supportive family around you and tbh thats half the battle fought

Im glad your GP supports you and you can see that. Its strange how they do seem to be more supportive once you are in the process.

Im glad to read that you are feeling better, fingers crossed for your next appointment. You know what, she will probably be as nice as pie to you too

 

[dreamofbeingslim]

Hi just found this thread. So sorry this nurse treated you like that, it doesn't matter if you are nhs or private you are still a patient that deserves respect. This is very unproffesional of her, she is saying the private patients are more important how rude. I am so glad you have a very supportive family, your little girls sound adorable, they definately know how to bring a tear to your eye don't they. Take care hope you don't have to wait too long to get your appt through.

 

[elffie01]

your little girls sound adorable, they definately know how to bring a tear to your eye don't they.

lol by the sounds of it in more ways than one... kids dont realise how much hair pulling hurts lol

 

[Rebirth]

Thank you all so much for your support. Today I didn't feel tearful when I thought about it all. If she persists in her unprofessional behaviour when I next see her I will complain. The sad thing is I don't even think she knows what she has done. If nothing else this incident has served to show me how much support I really have from my GP, family and new friends on minis.