Doubts, cheating and crazyness !

[fatbutnot4eva]

God I drive myself up the friggin wall.
I want a band fitted I need a band fitted.
BUT
With going to the gym every week day morning and watching everything I put into my mouth I CAN lose weight.
Does this mean I am a cheat, should I be allowed a band. My mum thinks no, but then I have 3 kids and woudl not be too happy them having it done but the fact that they are 6 4 and 14 months I wont have to think of it for a very long time.
I was talking to my mum and she said I began putting weight on at around 10 and by the time I was 11 I was bigger - I dont mean I was 20 stone but I was probably the fattest out of the class. Well that was 22 years ago I have been fat, dont get me wrong I have been on lots of diets and some I have done quite well on, SW I lost approx 3 stone, then got pregnant. I have been on fad diets milkshake diets, snack bar diets, soup diet, WW diets.
I am now on Xenical which I have been on almost 4 years on and off. It is coming off slowly but mainly due to the gym which I have been doing a year in april.
So what I am asking is :
Am I cheating
Do you think I am wrong to have it done IF I can lose weight if I put in 100% (but have to maintain 100% to keep it off)
I am driving myself crazy. My hubby is the only person I talk to about my WLS as only he and my mum know and my mum thinks that I should just lose it slowly and does not realise how unhappy I am.
Sorry if you got this far you are a star.
Just having a bad day.
x

 

[coley144]

Whatever you choose to do you are not a cheat. Why not just weigh up the pro's and cons of each choice? Normal dieting takes time. Liquid diets are quicker but harder. Surgery carries risks. But each will get you there in the end if you keep going. If you lose weight whatever way you choose, and feel better about yourself, it'd be a lot easier for you. x

 

[tendersage]

No way are you a cheat, you have tried for many years ot lose weight its not wrong to want to keep it off. The band will help you acjeive the full loss you need plus help to keep it off.

Feeding and looking after kids is hard work, and its so easy to slip back into eating with them and for them that any help you can get is a bonus.

 

[charliegirl]

Losing the weight is not the hard part, the hard part is keeping it off....this was the argument I had when the consultant suggested 300 cal a day diet to see if I could lose the weight, when I asked what happened when I stopped that and all the weight came back he recommended me for surgery in a flash...only you know if its cheating...I for one would say no..xx

 

[Brunetteandred]

The moot question for me personally is not 'Can I lose weight?' because I know I can. The question is 'Can I maintain the loss?'

For me, it's a definite 'No' which is why I am at 'last chance saloon' aka WLS.

It's not cheating. It's recognising that maintaining the loss is the part I can't nail and therefore a physical tool is required to help.

 

[Sambucca]

i totally know where you are coming from. I have had the same doubts myself and asked myself "why cant you just diet and exercise like a normal person"

But as others have said, its the maintenance that is the hardest part. And look at what you are having to do to lose weight, you are on a low fat diet, taking xenical AND going to the gym loads. In reality you probably couldnt keep that up forever.

Dont think of yourself as a cheat hun. You deserve this. Like the rest of us, you have tried everything else and need some extra help.

Keep your chin up x

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Thanks
I dont see it as cheating if it were well what can I say it woudl only be available for the rich and famous !!!!
as with botox, face lifts etc...
no I know I need to do something which I have been doing all my life, I just need some physical help, if I could have a personal chef making my food and personal fitness trainer telling me what I can do, oh and a live in nanny who will take care of the kids while I do these things well then I would "probably" be thinner.
Fu*k it this is for me I dont give a sh*t what people say I have been fat 2/3 of my life and now its time for some help to get me on track.
surely my GP and dietician woudl not be backing me unless they thought i needed it
Thanks feeling much better
what on earth goes through my head, I was awake hours last night thinking what if I were to go back to SW or WW again and try once more.
Helen
x

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Thanks girls and WL8S I feel much better - you lot are the dogs balls x
I have been told I have metabolic syndrome linked to PCOS have any of you heard of this

 

[tesmaralda]

helen diets only ever work properly the first time round and they are just a money making scheme for those who run them. All diets should come with a health warning. Having a band is no way cheating it is just a tool to be used to help you lose and maintain your weight. You still have to work at watching what you eat and still have to use your will power not to eat the wrong things. But only you can truely make the decission, if it helps draw 2 coloumns and write a list of why you should have the band and why you shouldn't have the band and then use to work out if it truely for you and then put it away some where safe and when those nagging doubts come back you only have to look at all the positives to see why you should have the band.

Society has got us believing that wls is the cheats way out or the easy option but is not its a bloody long hard road to follow and its only those who are truely at the end of the road and have no where else to turn that ever contemplate and go through with it .

 

[tesmaralda]

sorry i will get off my rant box now.

 

[waynetta]

Hiya chucks, every single person on this site can lose weight if they really try. It's maintaining it that is the problem, then each time you lose and and put back on, you put on more each time, then before you know it, your the size of a small elephant (like me)! Plus all the health problems that start to rear their ulgy heads. Then it becomes such a mammouth (no pun intended) task that your bound for failure before you can say rabbit food!!!! Soooo no its not cheating it's a lifesaver. x

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

its deffo NOT CHEATING, its a life changing op, and most of all others opinions do not matter, what matters is what you think and whats going to make your life better. If i hadnt of gone thro with my op to please others id be bigger than ever now and resenting the ppl that tryed to put me off, do this 4 you and only you, listen to your heart not others negitivity.

liz x

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Thanks girls xxx you talk sence
I will read this in a few months time and think you whalley and then in a years time and hopefully stones lighter and think thank goodness them girls knew what they were talking about
x

 

[serenitylove]

everyone can lose weight naturally but people that have been overweight invariable put it back on its a cylcle and there have been studys etc that say once you have been in this cycle it too hard to break naturally hence why these operations are offered i dont consider myself now on a diet what i can do now is eat in moderation if i want something i have it its just having a little of it , having a band almost retrains your mind to eating a different way although there ups and downs as there always is in life it helps you get to and maintain a weight your happy with and is definatly not cheating!!

 

[Silversurfer]

Ok i'm gona have my rant now - no one's actually pointed out that the band or a bypass is actually just a tool to help you lose the weight, you will have to work with it, change your life style, continue to maintain a healthy diet for the rest of your life and exercise - if you dont and dont follow the rules you will regain the weight just like falling of any other diet wagon !

Anyone post op is at this point because they failed to maintain weight lose, we've all had peaks and troughs in our dieting life times and taken the ultimate plunge of WLS.
If you think you may be able to lose weight and maintain that weight lose through diet and exercise then i'd consider giving that another go, i dont want to discourage you away from surgery, but whats another year really ! your still fairly young and healthy and if the dieting doesn't work then go for the surgery. In my mind surgery has to be the last chance saloon, and as others have said its by far the easy option !

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Hi
Of course I can lose weight by diet and excercise and can spend the next year losing another 2 stone or so but for what to be in teh same situation and be a year older.
I am 32 almost 33 why wait another year and spend the next year in a gym leaving my 14 month old son for 2 hours a day, only to put the weight back on as soon as I stop going to the gym, which by the way costs me £35 a month (I don t work I am a full time mum)
I have spent 22 years being overweight if I could lose teh weight by diet and excercise alone I would not have spent that time being fu*king miserable would I.
I am not going to be one of those people that get to my mid 40's and regret not doing somethign about my weight when I have bad knee's and possible diabetes. No this is my decision I am having WLS.
x

 

[Silversurfer]

Hi
Of course I can lose weight by diet and excercise and can spend the next year losing another 2 stone or so but for what to be in teh same situation and be a year older.
I am 32 almost 33 why wait another year and spend the next year in a gym leaving my 14 month old son for 2 hours a day, only to put the weight back on as soon as I stop going to the gym, which by the way costs me £35 a month (I don t work I am a full time mum)
I have spent 22 years being overweight if I could lose teh weight by diet and excercise alone I would not have spent that time being fu*king miserable would I.
I am not going to be one of those people that get to my mid 40's and regret not doing somethign about my weight when I have bad knee's and possible diabetes. No this is my decision I am having WLS.
x

Well stop ranting and raving about cheating then - you've made your mind up so get on with it

But dont think for one minute your not going to have to exercise or diet (especially with a band) as it doesn't work that way, and you'll be wasting your time. Sorry not going to fluff it up in cotton wool - its hard work, demands life style changes in both food control and exercise, and like any other form of dieting doesn't work if you cheat !

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Well stop ranting and raving about cheating then - you've made your mind up so get on with it

But dont think for one minute your not going to have to exercise or diet (especially with a band) as it doesn't work that way, and you'll be wasting your time. Sorry not going to fluff it up in cotton wool - its hard work, demands life style changes in both food control and exercise, and like any other form of dieting doesn't work if you cheat !



I didnt mean to come across as ranting or raving I just wanted everyones opinions, just as many of you have on your own situations. i.e. should you be going ahead with it if your family dont agree. In the end it is a personal decision, no one can make it for you.
I dont want anyone to "fluff it up" lol I just wanted different opinions. I am sure everyone has had wobbles whether or not they are doing the right thing or not. A band is fitted to restrict the actual amount of food going in, I am not stupid but nor will I have to spend 5 hours a week in the gym to lose weight. The way I am seeing it is a helping hand, cheat ! why on earth would I cheat.

Thanks for your opinions silver surfer but I feel quite upset by your responces - If diet and excercise works alone why didnt you do it ? in the end whats another year of trying ?
x

 

[Silversurfer]

Well stop ranting and raving about cheating then - you've made your mind up so get on with it

But dont think for one minute your not going to have to exercise or diet (especially with a band) as it doesn't work that way, and you'll be wasting your time. Sorry not going to fluff it up in cotton wool - its hard work, demands life style changes in both food control and exercise, and like any other form of dieting doesn't work if you cheat !



I didnt mean to come across as ranting or raving I just wanted everyones opinions, just as many of you have on your own situations. i.e. should you be going ahead with it if your family dont agree. In the end it is a personal decision, no one can make it for you.
I dont want anyone to "fluff it up" lol I just wanted different opinions. I am sure everyone has had wobbles whether or not they are doing the right thing or not. A band is fitted to restrict the actual amount of food going in, I am not stupid but nor will I have to spend 5 hours a week in the gym to lose weight. The way I am seeing it is a helping hand, cheat ! why on earth would I cheat.

Thanks for your opinions silver surfer but I feel quite upset by your responces - If diet and excercise works alone why didnt you do it ? in the end whats another year of trying ?
x

Hey - dont take what i've said as personal because its not meant to be, others on the forum will fluff things up and tell you what you want to hear ! (no offence to others) thats not me though ! i'd rather you knew your own mind and what you want to do, the decision to undergo WLS is a serious one and you have to be in the right mind and know exactly what your doing, as its going to be a life time commitment for you to lose the weight, i know you are now.

As for me - well i failed on every diet i've ever done, sure i could lose the weight and have had some impressive results in the past, but i slip back into bad habbits every time, i'm nearly 40 and WLS was my last chance really, i'd got so big i could hardly walk, climb the stair and living was becoming a grind, i'd only just manage to get from one end of the week the the other, then at weekends i had no energy to do anything, to be honest i was just waiting for the heart attack to finish me. My only regret with everything was that i wasn't strong enough to lose the weight and maintain it myself ! I'm not assamed of what i've had done for one minute, but i wish i had of had the strenght.

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Hey ss
Thanks I just saw it as you were saying I had not tried hard enough and was looking at WLS as a get out quick solution, that is not it at all. I just wanted some advice on how I can have it in my mind that i am not cheating so that when "friends" say hey you cheat or i can lose weight on my own I could come back with an answer that was not I know !
I didnt mean to come across as a spoilt child, god alone knows how hard each of us battle, I was 20 stone 5 living in denial of being fat, I dont look in mirrors unless i only see my face which isnt that bad a refelction lol...
I just want a life not a sentence ahead of me and my lovely family.
Thanks for being honest its what I ask everyone to be then I get upset when they are !!!!
thanks
xx