• Hi, If you cannot get into the site, be sure to Contact Us. Please be advised that the app is no longer in use!

Enough is Enough

S

Snowcrystal

New Member
I am not going to start retracting anything I have said; so if that is what you want then I suggest that you stop reading right now.

I will cut straight to the point...I am not a racist, I am not a bully, I am not anti anything or anyone.....It's true you only have my word for that..Same as anything anyone says here, all you have is their word as it's impossible to go on face value.... some times we miss the emotion in our written responses.

I had no personal vendetta or bad feeling toward Farzu. She had written several posts and had led some people to believe that she was here just to obtain free NHS services. Believing that, I responded as I did, and I am not ashamed in the least. I have had personal messages agreeing with me...(and my rep went up, which I do not fully understand)...They obviously felt that they could not post openly about this and I respect their privacy...I might have felt understood if they had openly posted their support of me, but to be honest it's best left be.

I am a very compassionate person and care about 'everyone' and am very politically motivated too. I would go out on a limb for anyone and have done for people just like her. But I am not going to sit and write an essay about my life and all the good I have done....(Besides which I am only human and am sure that I have done lots of bad too)

Farzu has indicated in her thread that she laughs about it and is not hurt, well I am, very much so....And the reason why is because of the way some people here are acting like playground bullies and jumping in and pointing the finger...This is nothing short of incitement. I know this has been entertainment for some of you and some have continued to keep it going.

Now I want to make this clear, I have brought a foreigner here to be my husband so I am not a stranger to the predicament of trying to settle in this country...and I have had to endure much to be able to live in the USA too....So I can empathise very much with her dilemma...I love my husband and would hate for us to live apart and that is what could have happened to us.

My husband also asks me to write something from him: Now that I am a citizen of the United Kingdom I would not be offended if anyone asked me my reasons for being here, as I have nothing to hide...I am here for my family and for my family to be together, I work hard and want no more in return than I am entitled to.

I had a best friend from Jamaica, we met at college some time ago when we were both studying to become counsellors...we were like soul mates, we shared the same passion in helping people with emotional problems and we both wanted to help underprivileged children...she had to support herself entirely, she paid more than you or I would for the courses and her Uni fees were almost double mine...That girl went on to enhance many troubled teenagers and even ended up in 'Hospital' with broken ribs and cut and bruises for her trouble...Now she gave plenty back.........she was still sent home, back to Jamaica.

So 'if' Farzu had led anyone to believe that she was here for the wrong reasons, surely you cannot blame anyone for responding as such...If you read some of her posts you will know what I mean. I did think about how unfair it had been to some of you who had been waiting years for treatment.

I care about what people think of me, but I will never be a hypocrite. I believe we have a right to change our minds when we experience things in our lives. But morally and ethically I will not be a hypocrite.

Finally, I still say, that I have nothing against Farzu or her husband on a personal level..she had answered the direct questions asked by some that she is here legally...if so then she has nothing to hide...I am happy that she is finding support, I thought I was one of those supporting her too...

I would meet her if she wanted to do that and we could talk like decent human beings instead of it being pulled out of all context by the bullies who have nothing better to do...You know who you are!...


I am really upset,hurt and angered about all of this...I have written to the moderators about it too...I do like a lot of you in here and enjoy reading your journey's but there a few who are beyond belief when it comes to perpetual hounding for a bit of entertainment...

With Regards
 
alot of things can be interpretted wrongly on forums like this, then things can and do get out of hand, i have already appoligised personally to farzu for my choice of wrong wording lets say. this is just an internet forum, words on a screen and alot of them words can be taken in the wrong context by different members and feelings can and do get hurt.
i understand your feelings on this matter as we should all be allowed to speak openly on here, ive had my knuckles wrapped a few times on a few different forums because ive upset a few people, but hey thats just the way it goes, and we just have to accept that we all dont think the same way, i love being on minis and the freinds and support given here is amazing.

i love everyone me xxx

liz x
 
Hi Snow, I'm really sorry that you feel so hurt. You should not feel hounded. I feel you make some honest points in yr writings.

Try and put it behind you if you can. Remember the reason we are all here - support for our weight and WLS etc.

Thinking of you, really hope you feel happier about things soon

Lv Jen x
 
quetiapina said:
Hi Snow, I'm really sorry that you feel so hurt. You should not feel hounded. I feel you make some honest points in yr writings.

Try and put it behind you if you can. Remember the reason we are all here - support for our weight and WLS etc.

Thinking of you, really hope you feel happier about things soon

Lv Jen x
Click to expand...

Hi Snow

Couldnt have put it better than Jen!

Take care x
 
I can totally understand where u r coming from snowcrystal as i was one of the ones who asked direct questions to farzu regarding her citizenships and this wasnt being nasty ....merely inquisitive as i do not have the foggiest about this kind of procedure etc.............but more then that i understand how angry u feel as i am not sure if recently u was aware that a post i wrote was edited due to someone reporting me and said it was for racial comments................now i do not wish to drag all that issue back up (let me get that str8) am just pointing out that i am not a racists either and it hurt my feelings when my morals are being questioned.................hope this makes sense...................everyone is entitled to their own opinion and peoples views and opinions will be in conflict from time to time...........after all if we all thought the same the world would be a very boring place.........if you feel 100% in your heart strongly about wot has transpired on this forum then you are right to stick to your guns........just as everyone else is entitled to stick to theirs, hope i have not offended anyone by right this......as this was not my intention.

All the best - mejulie xx
 
Snowcrystal said:
I am not going to start retracting anything I have said; so if that is what you want then I suggest that you stop reading right now.

I will cut straight to the point...I am not a racist, I am not a bully, I am not anti anything or anyone.....It's true you only have my word for that..Same as anything anyone says here, all you have is their word as it's impossible to go on face value.... some times we miss the emotion in our written responses.

I had no personal vendetta or bad feeling toward Farzu. She had written several posts and had led some people to believe that she was here just to obtain free NHS services. Believing that, I responded as I did, and I am not ashamed in the least. I have had personal messages agreeing with me...(and my rep went up, which I do not fully understand)...They obviously felt that they could not post openly about this and I respect their privacy...I might have felt understood if they had openly posted their support of me, but to be honest it's best left be.

I am a very compassionate person and care about 'everyone' and am very politically motivated too. I would go out on a limb for anyone and have done for people just like her. But I am not going to sit and write an essay about my life and all the good I have done....(Besides which I am only human and am sure that I have done lots of bad too)

Farzu has indicated in her thread that she laughs about it and is not hurt, well I am, very much so....And the reason why is because of the way some people here are acting like playground bullies and jumping in and pointing the finger...This is nothing short of incitement. I know this has been entertainment for some of you and some have continued to keep it going.

Now I want to make this clear, I have brought a foreigner here to be my husband so I am not a stranger to the predicament of trying to settle in this country...and I have had to endure much to be able to live in the USA too....So I can empathise very much with her dilemma...I love my husband and would hate for us to live apart and that is what could have happened to us.

My husband also asks me to write something from him: Now that I am a citizen of the United Kingdom I would not be offended if anyone asked me my reasons for being here, as I have nothing to hide...I am here for my family and for my family to be together, I work hard and want no more in return than I am entitled to.

I had a best friend from Jamaica, we met at college some time ago when we were both studying to become counsellors...we were like soul mates, we shared the same passion in helping people with emotional problems and we both wanted to help underprivileged children...she had to support herself entirely, she paid more than you or I would for the courses and her Uni fees were almost double mine...That girl went on to enhance many troubled teenagers and even ended up in 'Hospital' with broken ribs and cut and bruises for her trouble...Now she gave plenty back.........she was still sent home, back to Jamaica.

So 'if' Farzu had led anyone to believe that she was here for the wrong reasons, surely you cannot blame anyone for responding as such...If you read some of her posts you will know what I mean. I did think about how unfair it had been to some of you who had been waiting years for treatment.

I care about what people think of me, but I will never be a hypocrite. I believe we have a right to change our minds when we experience things in our lives. But morally and ethically I will not be a hypocrite.

Finally, I still say, that I have nothing against Farzu or her husband on a personal level..she had answered the direct questions asked by some that she is here legally...if so then she has nothing to hide...I am happy that she is finding support, I thought I was one of those supporting her too...

I would meet her if she wanted to do that and we could talk like decent human beings instead of it being pulled out of all context by the bullies who have nothing better to do...You know who you are!...


I am really upset,hurt and angered about all of this...I have written to the moderators about it too...I do like a lot of you in here and enjoy reading your journey's but there a few who are beyond belief when it comes to perpetual hounding for a bit of entertainment...

With Regards
Click to expand...
Totally with you on this - i couldn't believe what i was reading not here on minis it is about being here for everyone come what may x
 
Hi Snow
I know i'm fairly new compared with some of you guys but i can safely say i have never been offended by anything anyone has said on here. I work in Social Work and if i was easily offended i couldn't do my job. I have to work with all sorts of people from the "horrific" to the "poor souls" but believe eveyone is entitled to their opinion. It may result in agreeing to disagree but i also believe that can be acheived with good communication. People can misinterept what's said but again when in doubt ask the person what exactly they meant in a non confrontational manner and look to resolve it through talk and negiotation. I'm sorry you are hurt too Snowcrystal both you and Liz have made me feel very welcome on this site and have always provided me with great support. Believe i'll still be calling on that support the nearer my op gets. Hugs to you both xx
 
Snowcrystal said:
I am not going to start retracting anything I have said; so if that is what you want then I suggest that you stop reading right now.

I will cut straight to the point...I am not a racist, I am not a bully, I am not anti anything or anyone.....It's true you only have my word for that..Same as anything anyone says here, all you have is their word as it's impossible to go on face value.... some times we miss the emotion in our written responses.

I had no personal vendetta or bad feeling toward Farzu. She had written several posts and had led some people to believe that she was here just to obtain free NHS services. Believing that, I responded as I did, and I am not ashamed in the least. I have had personal messages agreeing with me...(and my rep went up, which I do not fully understand)...They obviously felt that they could not post openly about this and I respect their privacy...I might have felt understood if they had openly posted their support of me, but to be honest it's best left be.

I am a very compassionate person and care about 'everyone' and am very politically motivated too. I would go out on a limb for anyone and have done for people just like her. But I am not going to sit and write an essay about my life and all the good I have done....(Besides which I am only human and am sure that I have done lots of bad too)

Farzu has indicated in her thread that she laughs about it and is not hurt, well I am, very much so....And the reason why is because of the way some people here are acting like playground bullies and jumping in and pointing the finger...This is nothing short of incitement. I know this has been entertainment for some of you and some have continued to keep it going.

Now I want to make this clear, I have brought a foreigner here to be my husband so I am not a stranger to the predicament of trying to settle in this country...and I have had to endure much to be able to live in the USA too....So I can empathise very much with her dilemma...I love my husband and would hate for us to live apart and that is what could have happened to us.

My husband also asks me to write something from him: Now that I am a citizen of the United Kingdom I would not be offended if anyone asked me my reasons for being here, as I have nothing to hide...I am here for my family and for my family to be together, I work hard and want no more in return than I am entitled to.

I had a best friend from Jamaica, we met at college some time ago when we were both studying to become counsellors...we were like soul mates, we shared the same passion in helping people with emotional problems and we both wanted to help underprivileged children...she had to support herself entirely, she paid more than you or I would for the courses and her Uni fees were almost double mine...That girl went on to enhance many troubled teenagers and even ended up in 'Hospital' with broken ribs and cut and bruises for her trouble...Now she gave plenty back.........she was still sent home, back to Jamaica.

So 'if' Farzu had led anyone to believe that she was here for the wrong reasons, surely you cannot blame anyone for responding as such...If you read some of her posts you will know what I mean. I did think about how unfair it had been to some of you who had been waiting years for treatment.

I care about what people think of me, but I will never be a hypocrite. I believe we have a right to change our minds when we experience things in our lives. But morally and ethically I will not be a hypocrite.

Finally, I still say, that I have nothing against Farzu or her husband on a personal level..she had answered the direct questions asked by some that she is here legally...if so then she has nothing to hide...I am happy that she is finding support, I thought I was one of those supporting her too...

I would meet her if she wanted to do that and we could talk like decent human beings instead of it being pulled out of all context by the bullies who have nothing better to do...You know who you are!...


I am really upset,hurt and angered about all of this...I have written to the moderators about it too...I do like a lot of you in here and enjoy reading your journey's but there a few who are beyond belief when it comes to perpetual hounding for a bit of entertainment...

With Regards
Click to expand...
i agree i think your comments were right on and very straight forward and there was not 1 ounce off hatered or what ever they want to call it in your post to farzu,some people dont like straight talking people we can not help people if we dont know all the facts good on you please dont feel to bad we love you and your comments x x sarah
 
Hi Snow,
I have not been on this site very long, quite a newbie. Just like to offer my support. I respect your both your views and feelings as well as Farzu's. The point I would like to say is at the end of the day THIS IS A FORUM and aren't forums supposed to be where EVERYBODY can say what they feel with no recriminations. Life isn't all perfume and flowers with everybody thinking the same about every issue. Some issues obviously bring in different points of view, are we all supposed to lie about what we really think about things. That would really solve a lot wouldn't it. I applaud your honesty about saying how you felt, and before anybody comes back to me saying you should not say what you think if it hurts someone, I would say two things, One being I have read the thread and at no point did I see Farzu feel that she was offended.
And two, if you are offended easily may A FORUM is not the place to bring what may be seen such as contentious issues such as immigration etc.

Love to both yourself and Farzu xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
2.b.a.n.d.s.l.i.z said:
alot of things can be interpretted wrongly on forums like this, then things can and do get out of hand, i have already appoligised personally to farzu for my choice of wrong wording lets say. this is just an internet forum, words on a screen and alot of them words can be taken in the wrong context by different members and feelings can and do get hurt.
i understand your feelings on this matter as we should all be allowed to speak openly on here, ive had my knuckles wrapped a few times on a few different forums because ive upset a few people, but hey thats just the way it goes, and we just have to accept that we all dont think the same way, i love being on minis and the freinds and support given here is amazing.

i love everyone me xxx

liz x
Click to expand...

Hi Liz

Yes, that's exactly what I said...It's not always possible to see the emotion in the written word....That's why someone should never imply the meaning of a question or response is negative...If they are worried they should privately message them to ask...as you say this is an open forum and what you type has effect.

None of us are perfect.....(me least of all...lol)...

~hugs~
 
quetiapina said:
Hi Snow, I'm really sorry that you feel so hurt. You should not feel hounded. I feel you make some honest points in yr writings.

Try and put it behind you if you can. Remember the reason we are all here - support for our weight and WLS etc.

Thinking of you, really hope you feel happier about things soon

Lv Jen x
Click to expand...

Hi Jen

You are very sweet.

As my post had been 'quoted' it was then used as to incite the outcry that it did...It's a shame that it ended up like that.

I have had wonderful support from so many here, including yourself...

Sorry I have not responded any sooner...I had a 3 might trip (work related) to attend and had limited access to internet.

It will take me a week to catch up.

~hugs~
 
bypass.sarah said:
i agree i think your comments were right on and very straight forward and there was not 1 ounce off hatered or what ever they want to call it in your post to farzu,some people dont like straight talking people we can not help people if we dont know all the facts good on you please dont feel to bad we love you and your comments x x sarah
Click to expand...

Thank you Sarah

You are very kind...I'm glad you understood...

~hugs~
 
BLUEDIAMOND said:
I can totally understand where u r coming from snowcrystal as i was one of the ones who asked direct questions to farzu regarding her citizenships and this wasnt being nasty ....merely inquisitive as i do not have the foggiest about this kind of procedure etc.............but more then that i understand how angry u feel as i am not sure if recently u was aware that a post i wrote was edited due to someone reporting me and said it was for racial comments................now i do not wish to drag all that issue back up (let me get that str8) am just pointing out that i am not a racists either and it hurt my feelings when my morals are being questioned.................hope this makes sense...................everyone is entitled to their own opinion and peoples views and opinions will be in conflict from time to time...........after all if we all thought the same the world would be a very boring place.........if you feel 100% in your heart strongly about wot has transpired on this forum then you are right to stick to your guns........just as everyone else is entitled to stick to theirs, hope i have not offended anyone by right this......as this was not my intention.

All the best - mejulie xx
Click to expand...

Thank you Julie

Of all the things I would hate to called, being accused of being racist would and did pizz me off...

There should never have been any conflict and that was what stuck in my throat.

I only caught the backlash of what happened to you and never saw what you were accused of.....I am so pleased that it got sorted for you and I hope that you are ok with it all now.

I always read your posts and even though we can't always read the meant emotion I have always thought you a kind soul.

Thanks again

~hugs~
 
gaelic girl said:
Hi Snow
I know i'm fairly new compared with some of you guys but i can safely say i have never been offended by anything anyone has said on here. I work in Social Work and if i was easily offended i couldn't do my job. I have to work with all sorts of people from the "horrific" to the "poor souls" but believe eveyone is entitled to their opinion. It may result in agreeing to disagree but i also believe that can be acheived with good communication. People can misinterept what's said but again when in doubt ask the person what exactly they meant in a non confrontational manner and look to resolve it through talk and negiotation. I'm sorry you are hurt too Snowcrystal both you and Liz have made me feel very welcome on this site and have always provided me with great support. Believe i'll still be calling on that support the nearer my op gets. Hugs to you both xx
Click to expand...

Hi Gaelic Girl

I could not agree more with a lot of what you say...I too have dealt with the horrific that some poor souls have to endure...and communication was key to what I did...It would have been good for myself and others to have negotiated our interpretation of our posts...it did not happen...

Thank you for saying that I have made you feel welcome, I like you are fairly new...and Liz is fantastic with everyone who comes here for help.

We all have something to contribute...well that's what I believe.

Good luck with your op.

~hugs~
 
Colopatiron said:
Hi Snow,
I have not been on this site very long, quite a newbie. Just like to offer my support. I respect your both your views and feelings as well as Farzu's. The point I would like to say is at the end of the day THIS IS A FORUM and aren't forums supposed to be where EVERYBODY can say what they feel with no recriminations. Life isn't all perfume and flowers with everybody thinking the same about every issue. Some issues obviously bring in different points of view, are we all supposed to lie about what we really think about things. That would really solve a lot wouldn't it. I applaud your honesty about saying how you felt, and before anybody comes back to me saying you should not say what you think if it hurts someone, I would say two things, One being I have read the thread and at no point did I see Farzu feel that she was offended.
And two, if you are offended easily may A FORUM is not the place to bring what may be seen such as contentious issues such as immigration etc.

Love to both yourself and Farzu xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Click to expand...

Hi Colopatiron

I would ditto all that you have written.

Thank you

~hugs~
 
Sorry I have not replied as I have just got back from a work related trip.

I don't want to start this blinkin thing up again so please don't post...I just wanted to say thank you to those who posed on this thread.

~hugs~
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

deepblue
Had Enough of life
2
Replies
29
Views
2K
phatmomma
phatmomma
W
Feeling quite hurt
2
Replies
25
Views
2K
sexyfairy
S
charliegirl
My neighbour
Replies
10
Views
862
charliegirl
charliegirl
D
alison is home
Replies
16
Views
2K
grom
grom
pollybree
Not heavy enough?
Replies
5
Views
928
ceejay
ceejay
Back
Top