Getting back on track!!! So ashamed

[boots]

Firstly I have to admit to my self and now to you all, that I have put on 16lb in the last 9 months!!!

I have given up smoking and had an operation that needed some down time and so can put some of the excess down to that but, not all

I slipped, I slipped back into old habits and started doing all the wrong things at all the wrong times, I've been drinking with meals, Grazing, drinking a glass or three of wine at least 4 nights a week, eating more carbs than protein, stopped weighing myself and saving leftovers to eat later.

I have done a lot of soul searching in the past few weeks and have come to realise something very important about myself, I haven't changed! My body changed when I had my bypass, my life changed a little, but my brain and addictive, self sabotaging personality did not.

I wish I had had some counselling before the surgery or even after, the main benefit of going for private surgery for me was the speed in which I was taken through the process, but it seems it was also the biggest downside in that I was never fully counselled on just how this would effect my life and the people around me.

And so after some serious soul crushing and a week or so of feeling sorry for myself i have decided that, I am taking charge of my life again from today, I have re read all the books, I'm determined to start eating and drinking properly again, ill be weigh myself everyday, I've just ordered a cross trainer (should be here by fri) and I'm taking my medicine religiously, most importantly I'm gonna stop kidding myself that it's ok to eat that extra packed of crisps etc, (because it's not)

I'm going to try to update this diary everyday

Wish me good willpower (as luck won't help)

 

[yorkiegal]

Good luck Tracy. Well done on quitting smoking! That's really hard to do. When it comes to the eating it's really easy to go into denial and stop weighing ourselves or stop looking at the labels etc. I think you make a very good point about private patients and the lack of time they have to prepare themselves. In some ways I'm glad I've had over a year to get my head round whats going to happen to me.

You've lost a massive amount already so you know you can do this. Thankyou for being so honest and open here. It helps to hear the negative as well as the positive.

 

[barbara18]

aww how sad, at least you have admitted your downfalls and hopefully this will put you onto the road of 'recovery' in the mean time have you thought about asking your doctor to refer you to see a councilor it might be a big help to get it all of your chest. sending you all the willpower you need.
all the best barbara xx


p.s welldone on your current weight loss try not to be too hard on yourself you can do this xx

 

[blueeyes]

Well done Tracy, on writing this post! This is the first step to taking control back again and you've done that, so well done you. You KNOW what to do, you've done it in the past and you can for sure get back into the swing of things and be good to your body again. You deserve it, your body deserves it. YOU CAN DO IT!

Good willpower! xxx

 

[Fizzy donna]

Wishing u good willpower u have done so well with your loss overall so I'm sure u can do it again x x

 

[blueeyes]

Oh and no need to be ashamed! No negative talk please, that's not going to help you.

hugs xx

 

[boots]

Just read all your lovely replies and they made me cry, thanks for the support, it really does help!!

 

[Karlos]

Firstly I have to admit to my self and now to you all, that I have put on 16lb in the last 9 months!!!

I have given up smoking and had an operation that needed some down time and so can put some of the excess down to that but, not all

I slipped, I slipped back into old habits and started doing all the wrong things at all the wrong times, I've been drinking with meals, Grazing, drinking a glass or three of wine at least 4 nights a week, eating more carbs than protein, stopped weighing myself and saving leftovers to eat later.

I have done a lot of soul searching in the past few weeks and have come to realise something very important about myself, I haven't changed! My body changed when I had my bypass, my life changed a little, but my brain and addictive, self sabotaging personality did not.

I wish I had had some counselling before the surgery or even after, the main benefit of going for private surgery for me was the speed in which I was taken through the process, but it seems it was also the biggest downside in that I was never fully counselled on just how this would effect my life and the people around me.

And so after some serious soul crushing and a week or so of feeling sorry for myself i have decided that, I am taking charge of my life again from today, I have re read all the books, I'm determined to start eating and drinking properly again, ill be weigh myself everyday, I've just ordered a cross trainer (should be here by fri) and I'm taking my medicine religiously, most importantly I'm gonna stop kidding myself that it's ok to eat that extra packed of crisps etc, (because it's not)

I'm going to try to update this diary everyday

Wish me good willpower (as luck won't help)

The most important thing is that you've identified that you have a problem, there are some WLS post ops that have failed to recognise that even some who are early out, but it always bites us in the arse in the end. Its not just about having the operation its about changing your relationship with food and that is what is so difficult for us who depended on it for so many aspects of our lives

The diary is a great idea as is ramping up your exercise levels. I reckon you have what it takes to get back on track. You know the people here will support you and try to help you through. The very best of luck with this

 

[boots]

The most important thing is that you've identified that you have a problem, there are some WLS post ops that have failed to recognise that even some who are early out, but it always bites us in the arse in the end. Its not just about having the operation its about changing your relationship with food and that is what is so difficult for us who depended on it for so many aspects of our lives

The diary is a great idea as is ramping up your exercise levels. I reckon you have what it takes to get back on track. You know the people here will support you and try to help you through. The very best of luck with this

Thanks Hun that helps x

 

[phatmomma]

Come on Boots, you can do it. You have the intestinal fortitude (i can't say balls lol) to do it, you've shown this with the honesty of your post...

Keep on trucking girlfriend xx

 

[boots]

So day 2 and I have to admit yesterday wasn't a fantastic success

I Had a ham omelette for breakfast wrapped in a tortilla
Low fat cream cheese on French toast for lunch (four pieces)
Tea was veggie meatloaf and a small side of chips (about ten)

Then it all went wrong with 2 glasses of red wine and a Bacardi & coke!!
No exercise what so ever!!

Must do better today, I've put on my Gok style pants, (that suck your stomach in so much it's hard to feel hungry lol)
Cross Trainer arrives tomorrow!!

 

[Kevin1708]

So day 2 and I have to admit yesterday wasn't a fantastic success

I Had a ham omelette for breakfast wrapped in a tortilla
Low fat cream cheese on French toast for lunch (four pieces)
Tea was veggie meatloaf and a small side of chips (about ten)

Then it all went wrong with 2 glasses of red wine and a Bacardi & coke!!
No exercise what so ever!!

Must do better today, I've put on my Gok style pants, (that suck your stomach in so much it's hard to feel hungry lol)
Cross Trainer arrives tomorrow!!

why oh why did you have to mention the wine . . . don't you know that it's the root of all evil xxxx

 

[Sambucca]

Hi Boots,

Sorry to hear you have had a little regain. So you are 2 1/2 years post op now, do you eat fairly "normally" now at your stage - ie like your normal non WLS friends?

By your stage your body has learned to compromise for the malabsorption so we cant rely on that to keep us on track. So its down to your hard work and determination. Presumably though if you eat the right kind of foods you still have restriction?

You have done exactly the right thing in posting and asking for support. We will help you as much as we can.

Perhaps instead of trying to tackle everything in one go, make a commitment to a couple of small changes - like taking in a certain amount of protein which will keep you fuller for longer, and maybe increasing your fluid intake (Not wine, before anyone pipes up!!)

I too enjoy an occasional wine, when we are maintaining that is fine. I would say its not something you need to exclude at your stage, but for me it often leads to the munchies.

You can pull this back hun before it gets out of hand. A certain amount of regain is common, Its keeping it under control that is going to be the hard part.

Wishing you all the luck in the world. x

 

[shelbell]

What about the 5 day pouch test to deal with the carbs/protein balance, grazing and reaffirming restriction? Best of luck to you, I saw your pics earlier and they are awesome.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

 

[boots]

Hi sambucca

Yes I can eat relatively normally now, although still nowhere near what I did pre op thank god, to give you some idea of what I can eat-if I go out for a meal 2 starter size portions is about right for me
And yes if I eat correctly i.e. protein first the pouch still does exactly what it is supposed to.
I still get caught out with the odd episode of dumping and still have trouble with sugary products (not a bad thing)

The trouble is I slipped into some bad habits, I know what I should be doing it's just getting back into it again

Making myself write down everyday what I am doing about fixing things is my way of getting to grips with the problem, can't hide it when it's in black and White ;-)

Btw I'm sure red wine has lots of good qualities in it that outway the extra calories lol (ok so I'm in denial) but I need one vice, unless anyone can suggest a new more healthy addiction??

Again thankyou to everyone for the messages of support x

 

[Karlos]

So day 2 and I have to admit yesterday wasn't a fantastic success

I Had a ham omelette for breakfast wrapped in a tortilla
Low fat cream cheese on French toast for lunch (four pieces)
Tea was veggie meatloaf and a small side of chips (about ten)

Then it all went wrong with 2 glasses of red wine and a Bacardi & coke!!
No exercise what so ever!!

Must do better today, I've put on my Gok style pants, (that suck your stomach in so much it's hard to feel hungry lol)
Cross Trainer arrives tomorrow!!

You're right honey not great choices and rather carbohydrate heavy, Sam's right about protein being your friend, and carbs are always our enemy. The booze is something you might have to get a handle on if its a regular event. There could be as many as 480 calories in those three drinks that's almost an hour on a cross trainer just to work off those empty calories

Tomorrow is another day so dust yourself off and take each day as it arrives

 

[Magsy]

Ah welldone sweetie, I wish you well and keep in touch no-one judges on this site we all pull together to support. Let us know how you get on xx

 

[boots]

Day 3 and I'm thinking I need to take drastic action to kick start my new regime, gonna look into the five day pouch test again??

Good news is the cross trainer has arrived , so as soon as hubby figures out how to put it together I can get started

I seem to have been starving all day today, I think I may be obsessing slightly about food at the mo :-(

Gonna try to get in and see my doctor tomorrow and ask about some counselling

Tried to order my usual px's today and was told the doctor at my surgery had discontinued my multivitamins, as he didn't see the need for them?? I thought I was supposed to take them for life?? Anyone else had this happen?

Does anyone have a tip for five day pouch recipes?

 

[boots]

The only site I can find with five day pouch test is American, is this the one your all using or am I being dim

 

[shelbell]

Yes it's an American site, there are lots of recipes on there and in 'the neighbourhood' which is the site forum.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner