hello and considering a sleeve!

[Ladylou30]

So I've finally, and accidentally (sadly) just found how to post on my phone. So I thought I'd introduce myself.

I'm in the beginning stages of deciding about surgery. I'm 35 with two young children, a very strained marriage and I'm 18 stone (largest I've ever been). I've been big all my life and for the last 15 years I've yoyo'd up and down 4 stone. I generally sit between 15 and 16 stone, recently tho I have lost the plot and I can see no way back, I've been dieting all my life and I just can't do it anymore. I eat all day

I am deeply depressed and I think much of it is down to my consistent inability to lose weight and keep it off!

So last week after a lot of research I approached the Spire in Edinburgh to discuss a gastric band but was advised they don't really do that anymore plus the diet you have to follow is horrific so suggested a sleeve. I have to see the psychologist first tho!!

I'd imagine I'll need a lot of aftercare as I really do feel I have quite disordered eating (am I alone in this)? I'm concerned about having a tiny stomach for life and never being able to eat normally again. eVER. I'd love to just eat like a normal person but I've completely lost all hope of this.

I'm also terrified of telling my husband. I think it may be the last straw, but then we also can't continue as we are with me being so unhappy!

I'd love to hear what the reality of a gastric sleeve means for you?

Lou xx

 

[Kar8858]

Hi! Ive had a sleeve and my eating was pretty extreme, it had ended up out of control with binge eating. My sleeve has been great, totally stopped and binge eating.
As for your relationship, losing weight might not solve your problems but if you are not happy something has to change.
My husband was very good, a bit surprised at first but very good.
What ever your choice do it for you, no one else. Good luck

 

[emma-louise]

Hi..

Kar is right,loosing weight might not solve your relationship problems,but then it might give you a new lease of life with your husband and family.
I can relate to a lot of things you say....4 years ago I was almost 20 stone with 2 children and felt like my husband didn't find me attractive anymore.
My health was being affected and I couldn't enjoy a lot of family time with being big..
My personal life with my husband felt strained and I was embarrassed to be intimate due to my size.
Now after my bypass,I can enjoy my children,me and my hubby are like teenagers at times! And my confidence has grown so much...don't get me wrong it's been tough at times,and I can't eat like everyone else.
But if I eat like everyone else I'll be big again...you got to decide what's more important.
Sometimes you have to push yourself to make changes or you'll live a life of regret.
Good luck xx

 

[Debs!]

Hi Lou

I am 47 and now a single mum to a 16 year old. I assumed i'd never be heavier that 16 stone 5 and then one day I'd topped 19 stone and see now way out of it. I went on my first diet aged 17 weighing 11 stone 2 - clearly it didnt have a sustained result!!!!!!!!

My eating controls and consumes me. Wake up and wonder what will I eat, worry if I am out and might not be able to eat - eat when happy - eat when sad - eat -eat -eat.

I am having a sleeve - spend ages thinking and worrying and what if'ing but now I am locked into in and hoping it will happen April/May this year on NHS.

Why? well I cannot expect anyone to like and respect me when I neither like or respect myself. Being happier about how I look, my health etc I feel will be a huge step in the right direction.

Yes I am super worried/aware - that it's a for life choice - that said - people do gain weight after a sleeve if they dont remain committed to working - so my stomach will be permanenly smaller - doesnt mean I will be permanently thin - but I've decided I have run out of options and so this is it!
Good luck

 

[AmericanMum]

Hi and welcome. I'm new to the group as well and just starting my own journey. (hopefully) I start the Tier 3 program next week and that will hopefully lead to me being approved for surgery on the NHS. Are you looking to go private?

Anyway, good luck with everything!

 

[Mollydolly]

Hey Lady Lou
Totally know how you feel, lose of control, endless self loathing, continual feeling of failure. Something has to change and I was in the exact same situation (although my husband has been hugely supportive). I had the sleeve 11 days ago at Spire in Edinburgh and I feel fantastic. Minimal pain no vomiting and I wish I had done it years ago!

I don't know if it will save your relationship but being happy in yourself will be a massive step in the right direction.

Good luck with your decision

MD x

 

[Ladylou30]

Ah yes finally realised what I did to post on my phone phew. Now I can try and be a proper member.

Not sure who asked but I'll be going private as I doubt I'd be able to get it on NHS! Still been thinking about it loads but still haven't told hubby. He'll tear me apart for doing this

Molly Dolly I'd love to hear more about your Spire experience. I met Lorna last week and seeing a psychologist on Friday. How long did it take you to decide and get it all sorted?

 

[Mollydolly]

I saw Lorna back in November but delayed until after Christmas and New Year as I had a number of commitments. I think though I almost had too much time and got really worked up and stressed in the run up to it.

Spire have been superb, nothing I could fault in my experience. They like you to stay over two nights but I felt so fine that I went home after one.

They have a really comprehensive aftercare package too and Lorna is great at returning texts etc if you have any questions etc.

the psychologist I saw was really lovely and so long as you are realistic about what you hope to achieve it won't be any issue, after that you will also have to see the dietician who is also really nice.

Good luck with your journey and keep in touch

MD

 

[Mollydolly]

I think you can normally go from the stage you are at to surgery within a month under normal circumstances it's just I wanted to delay x

 

[Ladylou30]

Well I've just told my husband and he has gone ballistic he thinks its mutilation and won't even consider it being surgery. Sadly he thinks its just about me going to the gym more and eating better. Which I can understand as he was overweight a few years ago, he got a personal trainer, changed his diet and nearly 5 years later and 4 stone lighter he is still committed. He thinks I just don't try hard enough. Think I might lose him over this

 

[Mollydolly]

I think it's a difficult idea to wrap your head around particularly if you've successfull lost weight and maintained it. However as this site shows the majority of people with a genuine weight problem struggle all their lives with keeping the weight off. I must have lost 20 stones over the years but failed miserably at keeping it off. For some it seems easier but I honestly think that they are the exception and medical research appears to show this.

It's a very tough call though if you think it might end your marriage. I think only you know if it's a marriage worth saving and if this is the price is it too high?

Really sorry you're having such a rotten time.

MD xx

 

[Ladylou30]

Thankyou for the supportive words MollyDolly

Altho we've been struggling I don't want my marriage to end but I'm pretty sure im going to get this surgery. I'm hoping he'll come around in time. Of course it will affect him but it's my life and my body and I have two young children who I need to be hear for and who I currently don't cope well with as I'm so depressed.

Funnily enough since I made the decision my eating has been better.

Can I ask if you are tired MollyDolly? I know it's early days, do you have young kids? As I'm a bit worried about being to rest after the Op.

I'm sad as the psychologist cancelled on me for tomorrow so meeting her Monday now!!

My family have been really supportive and it will actually be my mum, grandparents and sister who'll be footing the bill

 

[Gladys Friday]

Price

Hi Molldolly

Do you mind me asking how much your sleeve was with Spire?

Thanks

Debbie

 

[Ladylou30]

They've said to me 10k xx

 

[Mollydolly]

Hi Molldolly

Do you mind me asking how much your sleeve was with Spire?

Thanks

Debbie

Hi Debbie

Like Lou i paid around the 10k mark for mine.

Worth every penny imo and I wouldn't have hesitated on paying that for a new car so decided my health and quality of life was definitely worth it.

Best wishes
MD x

 

[Mollydolly]

Thankyou for the supportive words MollyDolly

Altho we've been struggling I don't want my marriage to end but I'm pretty sure im going to get this surgery. I'm hoping he'll come around in time. Of course it will affect him but it's my life and my body and I have two young children who I need to be hear for and who I currently don't cope well with as I'm so depressed.

Funnily enough since I made the decision my eating has been better.

Can I ask if you are tired MollyDolly? I know it's early days, do you have young kids? As I'm a bit worried about being to rest after the Op.

I'm sad as the psychologist cancelled on me for tomorrow so meeting her Monday now!!

My family have been really supportive and it will actually be my mum, grandparents and sister who'll be footing the bill

Hi Lou
I'm sure once your husband realises how much this op will improve both your lives I'm sure he will get with the programme! He will be worried about the op itself and with a young family maybe he is worried that more will fall to him and realistically it will but only for a few days, once he sees that I'm sure he will feel more confident that a happy wife who enjoy life is a lot better than a life with someone who is unhappy.

I have older kids so t wasn't such an issue for me but looking back I would have enjoyed their childhood so much more if I had had the confidence to do more sporty type things oh them but I was way too self conscious to do certain activites and I will always regret missing these times with them.

I was tired initially but I'm now 15 days post op and yesterday I spent the day shopping in town then had family round for dinner didn't go to bed til 1am and was up at 7.15 and I feel totally the same as I would have pre op. Your body is an incredible thing and adjusts very quickly. I think the trick is to listen to it and rest in the early days post op. The weirdest thing is smelly wee which is the fat being metabolised I ink and so I quite like it (it reassures me it's working!) and yes that probably makes me weird too!

Anyway take care and remember we are here to listen/help/support

MD x

 

[BFB]

Hello. Just wanted to say welcome and sorry to hear things are a bit tough at home. Lots of supportive folk around here, which I think you've already found!

Good luck with everything.

 

[Ladylou30]

Cheers BFB definitely been good to read so far. Have to say I'm absolutely terrified of the operation which seems to be the norm!!

 

[BFB]

Cheers BFB definitely been good to read so far. Have to say I'm absolutely terrified of the operation which seems to be the norm!!

Oh yes, definitely normal. I've also got stupid little worries like can I wear pants during the op and will I miss gulping drinks? I don't really sip drinks. Ridiculous worries!

 

[Ladylou30]

That's funny cause I posted somewhere last night about gulping down juice as I don't sip