Alia
New Member
I’ve thought long and hard about posting here but now think it is the time to share my experience although it’s a pretty raw one, I feel ready now to do so.
There are people here who will know me and know of my struggles and what I have been through but I see so many new names I think this will be useful for people considering Weight Loss Surgery of any type.
I’m not going to go into a real detailed history of how I became the size I was or how it affected me but suffice to say at the age of 26 I weight 33 stone. WLS was not that common in those days and I would say in comparison to what is done now, it was fairly easy to get it. I went into it very blindly, thought it was going to be the magic wand that would solve all my weight issues and I would have a new life and be a new person.
I had what was essentially ‘stomach stapling’ and initially lost a few stone, can’t remember how much now but it was pretty much recovery weight loss, not change of life style weight loss. Not long after my surgery, probably months only I started to become quite unwell when ever I attempted to eat any food with substance – Rice, Pasta, Meat, Chicken, Fish, Bread, Raw Salad, Vegetables and so on – basically anything that did not turn to mush. I would eat something – not necessarily excessive amounts but I would become quite ill hours later – would end up vomiting a kind of black acid that would burn me and could last for days – not surprisingly I stopped eating any of those foods. I had moved to the other side of the country to where I had had my surgery done, money was very tight, I had 5 very young children to take care of and never even went back for my first post surgery review. I dealt with my food issue by totally avoiding anything that caused me problems and survived on a diet of ice-cream, jelly, chocolate, biscuits, cakes, mashed potato – anything that would slip down.
About 5 years ago I did try to change things and lose weight by attending SW and in 3 months I lost 6 stone but all I ate was mashed potato and beans, clearly could not be sustained over a long period of time. I came off the rails and went back to what I was eating before my effort and gained all of that weight back and more.
In 2008 I moved to a different GP and disturbed by my surgery and me eventually opening up and telling him what was going on and how I was eating (a very painful consultation for me, tears were flowing but it had to be done) he referred me to see Mr Pollard at St James in Leeds. After lots of investigations Mr Pollard was not able to see what the problem was so decided to do an explority surgery and see what he could do when he was in – during that surgery it was found that a band that was meant to be around the top of my stomach had slipped down to the bottom so I was able to eat foods but they were n’t able to exit my stomach and would sit in the bottom turning to this black acid substance that I would then be vomiting out for days. It was pretty delicate surgery as the band was completely knitted into the tissue but he was able to cut it out and do repairs and give me a RNY Gastric Bypass. I also had 16 hernias that no one had any idea I had.
I lost 6 stone pretty quickly but as I was told to start to introduce solid foods into my diet I began to panic and my old phobia returned, I could not convince myself that I would be able to eat those foods again after the suffereing I had had for around 10 years. Old habits returned and again I went back to my mush – basically crap! Obviously the weight loss stopped and I began to gain back what I had lost.
I was a regular poster here till that point and out of shame and embarrassment I stopped coming and just watched all my weight come back on – I did come back once hoping I’d be able to make another effort to use this tool that I had been given but failure after failure let me back to my little corner, totally ashamed and embarrassed and in total denial.
In February this year I had a miscarriage – it was a total shock to me, after having 6 children I never imagined I would suffer one – I asked the midwife what had caused it and she said they would never know for sure but it was highly likely that my weight was a factor. It was a complete slap in the face for me – though a highly emotional and distressing experience it made me wake up!
2 weeks later on march 15th I joined SW again and started my final weight loss journey – it was and still is a journey of discovery – I’m finally for the first time ever actually learning to use the tool that I have been given. For the first time in years and years I’m eating things I would have been petrified to eat – Rice, vegetables, pasta, bread, very small amounts of meat and chicken and so on – I’m eating meals, full meals!! Obviously I do have restriction, I can’t ‘freely’ eat, I can only eat what my pouch allows. It’s like a light has been switched on and I can finally see what I should be doing and that I should have been doing this from when I got my tool in November 2008. That was 16 weeks ago and I’m 59 pounds down, feeling fantastic and have a whole new attitude towards food. Yes I still have ups and downs, none of us are perfect but when I have a bad day it never leads to what I would have eaten before I started my journey. I was a chocoholic – since I started 16 weeks ago I’ve had 3 chocolate bars – the last 2 weeks ago and I bought myself 2 whispas, ate half of the first, was not enjoying it at all so threw it in the bin and gave the other one to my son. My tastes have changed. I’m eating more than I’ve ever eaten in years but all good things, things that work with my tool and things that are aiding my weight loss.
I wanted to share this story with people as I’ve been reading a bit about how people go into WLS blindly and think its going to be a majic wand that that is going to solve all of their problems – it’s a tool to help us lose weight but it won’t work alone, we have to work with it and make it work for us – its not the quick fix that a lot of people opposed to WLS seem to think that it is – oh how I’ve suffered but there is light at the end of the tunnel and clearly I have a long long way to go but I won’t detract anything from my success so far as its taken a lot of hard work on my part and I deserve every single pound I’ve shed so far. I am currently 11.5 pounds from the lowest that I got to after my surgery and 11.5 pounds from being the lightest that my husband has ever seen me – its working, this WILL be my last, but longest journey ever as it is a journey that has to last a life time.
Given my time again would I have still had the surgery (first one) I can’t answer that but its irrelevant, I did and here I am.
There are people here who will know me and know of my struggles and what I have been through but I see so many new names I think this will be useful for people considering Weight Loss Surgery of any type.
I’m not going to go into a real detailed history of how I became the size I was or how it affected me but suffice to say at the age of 26 I weight 33 stone. WLS was not that common in those days and I would say in comparison to what is done now, it was fairly easy to get it. I went into it very blindly, thought it was going to be the magic wand that would solve all my weight issues and I would have a new life and be a new person.
I had what was essentially ‘stomach stapling’ and initially lost a few stone, can’t remember how much now but it was pretty much recovery weight loss, not change of life style weight loss. Not long after my surgery, probably months only I started to become quite unwell when ever I attempted to eat any food with substance – Rice, Pasta, Meat, Chicken, Fish, Bread, Raw Salad, Vegetables and so on – basically anything that did not turn to mush. I would eat something – not necessarily excessive amounts but I would become quite ill hours later – would end up vomiting a kind of black acid that would burn me and could last for days – not surprisingly I stopped eating any of those foods. I had moved to the other side of the country to where I had had my surgery done, money was very tight, I had 5 very young children to take care of and never even went back for my first post surgery review. I dealt with my food issue by totally avoiding anything that caused me problems and survived on a diet of ice-cream, jelly, chocolate, biscuits, cakes, mashed potato – anything that would slip down.
About 5 years ago I did try to change things and lose weight by attending SW and in 3 months I lost 6 stone but all I ate was mashed potato and beans, clearly could not be sustained over a long period of time. I came off the rails and went back to what I was eating before my effort and gained all of that weight back and more.
In 2008 I moved to a different GP and disturbed by my surgery and me eventually opening up and telling him what was going on and how I was eating (a very painful consultation for me, tears were flowing but it had to be done) he referred me to see Mr Pollard at St James in Leeds. After lots of investigations Mr Pollard was not able to see what the problem was so decided to do an explority surgery and see what he could do when he was in – during that surgery it was found that a band that was meant to be around the top of my stomach had slipped down to the bottom so I was able to eat foods but they were n’t able to exit my stomach and would sit in the bottom turning to this black acid substance that I would then be vomiting out for days. It was pretty delicate surgery as the band was completely knitted into the tissue but he was able to cut it out and do repairs and give me a RNY Gastric Bypass. I also had 16 hernias that no one had any idea I had.
I lost 6 stone pretty quickly but as I was told to start to introduce solid foods into my diet I began to panic and my old phobia returned, I could not convince myself that I would be able to eat those foods again after the suffereing I had had for around 10 years. Old habits returned and again I went back to my mush – basically crap! Obviously the weight loss stopped and I began to gain back what I had lost.
I was a regular poster here till that point and out of shame and embarrassment I stopped coming and just watched all my weight come back on – I did come back once hoping I’d be able to make another effort to use this tool that I had been given but failure after failure let me back to my little corner, totally ashamed and embarrassed and in total denial.
In February this year I had a miscarriage – it was a total shock to me, after having 6 children I never imagined I would suffer one – I asked the midwife what had caused it and she said they would never know for sure but it was highly likely that my weight was a factor. It was a complete slap in the face for me – though a highly emotional and distressing experience it made me wake up!
2 weeks later on march 15th I joined SW again and started my final weight loss journey – it was and still is a journey of discovery – I’m finally for the first time ever actually learning to use the tool that I have been given. For the first time in years and years I’m eating things I would have been petrified to eat – Rice, vegetables, pasta, bread, very small amounts of meat and chicken and so on – I’m eating meals, full meals!! Obviously I do have restriction, I can’t ‘freely’ eat, I can only eat what my pouch allows. It’s like a light has been switched on and I can finally see what I should be doing and that I should have been doing this from when I got my tool in November 2008. That was 16 weeks ago and I’m 59 pounds down, feeling fantastic and have a whole new attitude towards food. Yes I still have ups and downs, none of us are perfect but when I have a bad day it never leads to what I would have eaten before I started my journey. I was a chocoholic – since I started 16 weeks ago I’ve had 3 chocolate bars – the last 2 weeks ago and I bought myself 2 whispas, ate half of the first, was not enjoying it at all so threw it in the bin and gave the other one to my son. My tastes have changed. I’m eating more than I’ve ever eaten in years but all good things, things that work with my tool and things that are aiding my weight loss.
I wanted to share this story with people as I’ve been reading a bit about how people go into WLS blindly and think its going to be a majic wand that that is going to solve all of their problems – it’s a tool to help us lose weight but it won’t work alone, we have to work with it and make it work for us – its not the quick fix that a lot of people opposed to WLS seem to think that it is – oh how I’ve suffered but there is light at the end of the tunnel and clearly I have a long long way to go but I won’t detract anything from my success so far as its taken a lot of hard work on my part and I deserve every single pound I’ve shed so far. I am currently 11.5 pounds from the lowest that I got to after my surgery and 11.5 pounds from being the lightest that my husband has ever seen me – its working, this WILL be my last, but longest journey ever as it is a journey that has to last a life time.
Given my time again would I have still had the surgery (first one) I can’t answer that but its irrelevant, I did and here I am.
