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I need to get this off my chest....

appart from u lot can spell and i cant - hahahaha x
 
Mixman said:
Like in all walks of life, you're going to find people who are at either ends of the scales, if you pardon the pun. You're always going to get people that are dissapointed. What I try and do in my presentations I do in Sheffield is to try and get the message across to the people that they need to make efforts, big efforts too.

Part of being a good achiever AFTER weight loss surgery is being mentally ready BEFORE. You kind of get an idea of the people who are going to be doing well and those that might struggle. People try and look for all sorts of excuses not to have surgery as eating has become a very very big part of their lives.

These are my opinions too and I don't mind if you disagree. Being male too, I know my priorities and importances might be different to females.

Because there are so many success stories in the news at the moment, it's very very hard for people to be brought back down to earth and be told that they might not lose any weight if they don't make ANY lifelong changes. One of these is eating and drinking at the same time. I've been told that's a big no no, and so I don't. This stretches the pouch. I've also been told that eating sweet/fatty things, as well as not being good for me, might make me 'dump'. So I don't eat them. I've been told that doughy bread is bad for me, so I don't have it, I have a bit of toast instead. I was told not to drink alcohol for 12 months. So I didn't.

Now this may seem extreme to some people, but it was what I was advised, so it's what I did/do. And I think it's a big part of me achieving so much and doing so well.

Now when I read that people 'can eat so much' and that 'they had chocolate', now I can't understand it and I tend not to reply to these threads as I feel that I wouldn't help the situation. I feel like shouting

'FOR GODS SAKE, GET A GRIP. YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN A CHANCE, DON'T BLOW IT. THE REASON THAT YOU'RE NOT DOING SO WELL IS BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT EATING THE RIGHT THINGS AND NOT FOLLOWING THE 'RULES'

But I don't want to upset people. There are other reasons for people eating, emotional etc, and I know that just because I and others have, it doesn't mean it's that easy for everybody.

I also think that the support of the loved ones round me has also helped. They wouldn't let me eat anything that's 'bad' for me. Do other post op peoples loved ones turned a blind eye when they are eating the wrong things? I know mine don't. Even my 7 year old step-son is on my side. He knows I'm not allowed sweets/buns. We have jokes about it, when I try and grab his sweets he knows I shouldn't be having them. He'll tell me that my doctor says I can't have them.

It's not just a quick fix. It is a tool you have to work with. If you don't work with it, it will fail. If I put petrol in my diesel car, I know it will break down. Our bodies are the same. Treat them well and they will look after you for years. Treat them wrong and, in the vast majority of the cases, you only have yourself to blame.

Getting at others and blaming others often means that there are physcological issues around. These need to be sorted too, that's why in Sheffield we have access to a psychiatrist.

Get your friends and family involved now. We ALL can help each other and we all CAN do it!
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thanks sweets, he s just gone off to theatre now, eeek im hoping to god they can close his wound, not pack it, but the surgeon needs to make it bigger to see if any nerve damage as he cant feel his fingers... his work dog attacked him last night! a bloody great big german shepard to!

it never rains but pours hey!
 
yeah so you can comment on what ya want now maz - haha!
 
lol @ jac
 
there will be an investigation, she is after all a work patrol dog her job is to attack, BUT there s a very fine line obviously with a handler, and she should be safe where she can go on public patrols so what im saying is she should be able to control herself, it wasnt even a warning snap, she ment business, surgeon will have to make his wound bigger so it wont get closed will get packed dam it!!!! he s supposed to be on his promotion course this mon x
 
Hello and i'd just like to throw in my tuppence worth just in case it is my post that was viewed as condescending....

My comment about 'not having had surgery yet' had nothing to do with giving advice. The comment was meant in the way that as a pre opper we all have ideas of how we will never eat anything that is not nutritionally valuable once we've had surgery! I was often getting 'annoyed' when i read of people having alcohol or nice munchies. Now i'm 7 months post op i know that i lived in an unrealistic world and i will have a day (like the other person did) when i may not make good food choices or i will have a treat. Hence my comment of someone not having yet had surgery.

I would have replied to the other post but after a busy day yesterday and not getting online i missed it before it got locked.....

As for offering support, i am always at the end of a pm or post or facebook for anyone who has a problem or just wants to talk so please don't ever think i am not here for anyone......

ps, Cherry i hope your hubby is soon on the road to recovery xx
 
thanks julie :) he s just got out of theatre, hopefully he ll get feeling back in his fingers...and be home tomorrow! beeen a loooong day x
 
Hi Cherry, I hope hubby recovers well and fully from his injury. Life's a bugga at times eh? As for everything else let it ride chick and take no notice, you got enough on with hubby.

linxxxx
 
hi kelly,

Try not to let this forum get to you..
you have a lot more important things to think about.
I for one, have always valued everything you have replied back to me in all my posts and everyone else that has had to time to write.
It doesnt matter to me in the slightest whether the person has surgery or not.
Its the help and advice of everyone on this site that has been a god-send to me when I was considering the bypass and even more after I had it done.
And for that I will always be grateful..xx
Take care kelly x
 
Sorry to hear about your hubby Kelly - hope he is OK. Just reading about a German Shepherd biting gives me the colly-wobbles - and it was about 40 years ago it happened to me.

As for your original comment - recently I seem to have had to bite my tongue (as it were) and not reply to posts because I have found them sometimes slightly offensive and unnecessary. And sometimes I do think "oh no that'll be a negative" post.

WLS isn't easy for everyone - and its easy to be righteous pre-op - and be sure that "you" will do everything by the book ( mean one really not you but it read funny) - but the reality isn't always the same.

And thats the other thing - how we write stuff may be how we would have said it - but may not be the way we meant it to come over.

Also there's nowt so queer as folk - and some will always need to feel hard done by whatever help or advise is being offered.

I too have wondered about taking a step back - and feel for the moderators - trying to keep a fine balance

Keep your chin up Kelly

xxxx
 
I have no idea what post you are talking about. But I am sorry that it has upset you so much. I think it is important to realise that everyone's opinions matter pre or post op. But also when it is better to say nothing at all. We are after all, all struggling with similar issues and need each other. We shouldn't be knocking each other down. So well done for raising the issue.
 
Hmmmmmmmmm. I suspect I know the post you're on about Kelly.

But first and fore-most - I'm glad to hear hubby's out of surgery - I'm praying for a perfect recovery for him. What an awful thing to happen.

As regards the post: I can see where Phatmomma's coming from and to an extent I agree with her. But more about that later....

I don't know if that was the exact post which upset you, and in a way that isn't the point.

The thing is, Forums are scarily like real life: we think they're virtual and that no-one can therefore get hurt or offended, but we all get to know each other, appreciate some personalities more than others, take exception to others more easily...and YES, words can wound and hurt, just as they can in 'real' life. Just as in 'real life', we need to be careful not to be insensitive, don't we?

which is why I loved Mixy's post. Mixy, I tried to give you rep for it, but apparently I haven't been spreading the love round enough to do so! Oh and by the way, that little bug on your signature had me fooled, I was trying to swat the darn thing off the screen! :D

Anyhoo Kell....notwithstanding what I've said so far...I completely agree that as in 'real life', we need to remember to treat each other on here with respect, courtesy and gentleness. If you haven't been treated that way...and others too...I feel very sorry. I appreciate every-one's input and value it all equally.

And I think we need to be especially grateful to our wonderful moderating team, who all do a hard job well, gratis and with great wisdom. :D

Re: pre-op vs post-op: Like Julie (Phatmomma) said: I too was very virtuous about how I would be pre-op, but have discovered post-op that the reality isn't necessarily so easy....

....that said, if I'm making glaringly obvious mistakes, come on here to ask for advice, and get it...even though that advice may be hard for me to hear...well what did I come on here for if I didn't want the good advice which was going to help me?

And quite frankly, I don't care where the advice comes from....however, if I just came on for a moan and a bit of sympathy....well then maybe I should've made it clearer so, I didn't get the proverbial boot up the backside which some people felt was needed!

I suppose what I'm trying to say, in a very long-winded way is: we all need to be nice to each other, respect each other, but also take a pinch of salt if we hear something we don't want to or don't like?

I for one LOVE LOVE LOVE this forum. I enjoy the banter amongst all the different personalities and that very DEFINITELY includes you Kell, in fact I've missed you a lot since you returned to work.

I know for sure and definitely, I wouldn't have done anywhere near as well on my WLS journey without the help, support, advice, love, encouragement and the occasional well-needed boot up the rear I've needed along the way. I've made some real and special friend-ships on here too and the effect of that on my journey can't be minimised either.

I don't care whether you're pre-op, post-op, just thinking or long-in-the-tooth! I LOVE you all!

So I'm sending you ALL a big hug and no exceptions!

Grace xxx
 
Last edited:
arghhhh im feeling the love :D

well hubbi is on ward arm in splint, he was bitten below elbow, yooouch!! still no feeling in fingers but they 6 months for it to return so fingers crossed, he plays guitar toooo! o nooo, i hope to god he still can as its his passion, he s still defending the dog, BUT he s her handler and she should never have done that! i wouldnt like to say whats goin to happen but i personally think she needs to be put to sleep, these dogs are trained to attack but also to have control, and going for the hand that feeds you is bad.... it could be his face/neck next time, as the scary thing is, these dogs are trained to take some one down by the arm/leg then grab the neck!! good job jase has weight and height behind him otherwise if he hit the floor id prob have no husband :( he was very lucky xx

thanks for all your wishes xx
 
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