Introducing Emily.

[Cicca]

I'm a member as you're all probably aware, however tonight I'm taking my 17 year old daughter Emily to the drs for her 1st appointment. Hopefully we will get a referral for her to have weight loss surgery! I'm not sure if my GP will do it but I'm hopeful that she will, as Emily's bmi is already in the 40's.

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[1974rach]

Fingers crossed for Emily

xxx

 

[maxine kim]

I'm a member as you're all probably aware, however tonight I'm taking my 17 year old daughter Emily to the drs for her 1st appointment. Hopefully we will get a referral for her to have weight loss surgery! I'm not sure if my GP will do it but I'm hopeful that she will, as Emily's bmi is already in the 40's.

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Good luck Emily x

 

[Mazza]

Good luck Emily! xx

 

[Cicca]

So I went to the Drs and she was rude, gave us both all the negatives of surgery. Wouldn't do a referral, suggested blood tests and a dietician as she can't encourage surgery as the 1st option. It's far from the 1st option, Emily has tried various diets and always ended up putting more weight on.

She blanked me for the whole appointment and kept addressing Emily telling her how fed up she was with people who'd had the surgery coming back with the complications. She finally addressed me and said she would never allow her daughter to have surgery. To which I replied I didn't want her to however I also don't want her to have a life of misery and possibly have issues such as the bathroom which those of you big enough will know what I mean. To which she replied use a shower hose to keep yourself clean Emily, that's better than having surgery. It was at this point that I knew the woman is unhinged and I won't be going back to her for any help.

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[shelleymarie]

Best of luck for Emily. I wish I'd had it done when I was younger, I missed out on my 20's because I let my weight hold me back. With your support I know your daughter won't have to go through that let us know how you get on x

 

[audra]

fingers crossed for emily xx

 

[highspirit]

change ur doc

 

[highspirit]

it feels so surreal .l keep thinking about my old doctor who had no sympathy at all and would not refer me to anyone despite me always being in there upset .she left and then i saw a new doc who referred me on our first meeting .some people just dont realise the overall effect of weight on mental and pyhisical wellbeing.i feel so optimistic about this op.feel sad as well cos i had a sister same weight probs as me who sadly passed away in april from breast cancer .we both applied for this then she became ill again as it had spread.i know shes happy for me and i know she will look after me on the day .bittersweet .

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[shelleymarie]

Seems I replied at the same time. Oh dear, well I did expect the doctor to put up some barriers and hoops to jump through and maybe there would be a way for her not to have surgery but there is no need to be rude and she certainly doesn't have a clue saying use a shower to clean yourself!!! That is not an option when you are really big, what if you want to leave the house? That is stupid. Sorry she wasn't more receptive and understanding. Doing the blood tests and dietician will be a good start to show your are cooperative and but maybe do them with a different GP that is more open and understanding? one who isn't closed off completely to the idea if it turns out to be the best option? x

 

[Cicca]

Seems I replied at the same time. Oh dear, well I did expect the doctor to put up some barriers and hoops to jump through and maybe there would be a way for her not to have surgery but there is no need to be rude and she certainly doesn't have a clue saying use a shower to clean yourself!!! That is not an option when you are really big, what if you want to leave the house? That is stupid. Sorry she wasn't more receptive and understanding. Doing the blood tests and dietician will be a good start to show your are cooperative and but maybe do them with a different GP that is more open and understanding? one who isn't closed off completely to the idea if it turns out to be the best option? x

I replied to the Dr, what about when she wants to leave the house. I was nearly house bound because of my weight, I don't want the same for her. This was Emily's idea, I am supporting her in her decision. But the dr made me feel guilty for making her the way she is, I also have another daughter who does not have a weight problem, so it's not me it's a mixture of genetics and ability. Given the tools Emily will eventually have the ability to help herself to get fit.

I'm fuming, however I knew she'd react like this, I was allowed to get to 30 stone before she referred me to a bariatric surgeon, only after I was made to find out for myself a dr that did the surgery.

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[girlygirl1]

This doctor obviously feels as strongly about WLS as you do - but in the opposite way. She mentioned being fed up at the number of patients coming back with complications - I don't think she would lie about that. She does not regard WLS as 'the answer' - this is her personal opinion as a trained medical professional, and a family doctor, and she is unwilling to recommend WLS surgery for your 17-year-old daughter. She's thinking of Emily's health and her future, I honestly believe. She knows what Emily will have to go through, and how hard it will be for her, afterwards, even if all goes swimmingly. I know that a refusal was not what you hoped for, but I do understand your GP's misgivings.

Emily is probably still growing. Any surgical procedure that might seriously limit her ability to absorb food, liquid and vital nutrients - for a period of months or even years, according to the many personal histories shared on this forum - might be harmful in so young a patient.

As angiemason observed recently - we don't like to be told no. I, myself, think that 17 is too young - a personal opinion, only. I wouldn't allow my child to have WLS at that age. But you must do what you think is right.

Good luck to you and especially to Emily x

 

[Cicca]

This doctor obviously feels as strongly about WLS as you do - but in the opposite way. She mentioned being fed up at the number of patients coming back with complications - I don't think she would lie about that. She does not regard WLS as 'the answer' - this is her personal opinion as a trained medical professional, and a family doctor, and she is unwilling to recommend WLS surgery for your 17-year-old daughter. She's thinking of Emma's health and her future, I honestly believe. She knows what Emma will have to go through, and how hard it will be for her, afterwards, even if all goes swimmingly. I know that a refusal was not what you hoped for, but I do understand your GP's misgivings.

Emma is probably still growing. Any surgical procedure that might seriously limit her ability to absorb food, liquid and vital nutrients - for a period of months or even years, according to the many personal histories shared on this forum - might be harmful in so young a patient.

As angiemason observed recently - we don't like to be told no. I, myself, think that 17 is too young - a personal opinion, only. I wouldn't allow my child to have WLS at that age. But you must do what you think is right.

Good luck to you and especially to Emma x

Emily

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[julesburns]

Hi. From what I've seen on the news lately the fact that Bolton hospital nearly went into administration this week because they ran out of funds, I'm sure all GPs have been sent letters to tell them to stop referring people for WLS.

If your really serious about it then maybe the answer is to go private. Going abroad can be as reasonable as £1600 for a band or wrap. I'm paying for myself to go to prague. Its took a year to save up which has given me the motivation to know that I'm working extra hard to pay for it, which means I'm less likely to cheat once its done.
I want my NHS contributions from over the past 18 years to go towards care for me when I have children or if god forbid I need something in the future. I realise everyone is in different situations financially but by saving £20 a week it soon adds up. Goodluck

 

[shelleymarie]

I replied to the Dr, what about when she wants to leave the house. I was nearly house bound because of my weight, I don't want the same for her. This was Emily's idea, I am supporting her in her decision. But the dr made me feel guilty for making her the way she is, I also have another daughter who does not have a weight problem, so it's not me it's a mixture of genetics and ability. Given the tools Emily will eventually have the ability to help herself to get fit.

I'm fuming, however I knew she'd react like this, I was allowed to get to 30 stone before she referred me to a bariatric surgeon, only after I was made to find out for myself a dr that did the surgery.

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

I completely understand. I was exactly the same and had to have a carer. I got to a bmi of 69, not able to walk and everything else that went with it. The most my doctor would do is give me a hypnosis tape. My latest GP is very supportive though, so I hope Emily can find a one who is there for her x

 

[Yvessa]

Sometimes I manage to forget how many judgmental people there are on here! Emily, I wish you the best of luck in finding a GP who will give you a referral as the only people qualified to judge your suitability are the mdt who will assess your case and suitability for surgery. Whatever choice you make don't give up hope.

Good luck!

 

[rickysmrs]

I feel for you and Emily its a big decision as we all no to begin with. I feel the GP you seen could of acted more professionally and given you (Emily) more advise and reasons as to why the refusal ie body still developing, it took Emily alot of courage to face the GP with such a personal problem I'm sorry it didnt work out Emily must be so upset aswell as u mum. The only thing I can suggest is make sure from this day forward any diets are logged down in a diary for future reference. Good Luck xx

 

[julesburns]

Yvessa I don't feel I am being judgemental. I feel that I am being very realistic with the Nhs in the mess that it is in at the moment.

Would you rather they continued to hand out free surgery for everyone to the point where they HAVE to privatise and all of the NI and tax contributions I have made over the years are forgotten and you need to start buying health insurance like you do in America just to see a gp?! Do you know that they queue through the night there to be seen by a Red Cross doctor If they can't afford insurance?

By continuing to spend more than we have got there will be no more money for anything.

I'm sorry for Emily I really am. But she is young and her body may change by itself. Mine did!

 

[Yvessa]

The nice guidelines state clearly that wls is a cost effective measure. And it is as it will save the nhs more money to do the op than to support someone medically with a BMi of 40. And as Anna already mentioned Emily's genetic are against her. I was like Emily. Mine didn't change. And I wish someone had given me the chance then. And your other post clearly shows your are being judgmental.

 

[borogirl]

As a parent, it is difficult to know when to make the right decision however I think you are right to get this sorted for your daughter now. Why wait another 5 - 10 years when further health and mental health issues have kicked in. Surgery is a risk, but doing nothing is more of a risk.
Julesburns - this mother is trying to fix something for her daughter - not the NHS or the world. BACK OFF.