Men are d*cks!

[delicateorchid]

In relation to my last posting "Boys will be boys" - we had a lengthy chat last night and he admitted the truth.

He admitted openly that he no longer had lust towards me and instead had those feelings for his friend Charly!

Oh wait ... it gets better ... he also asked me to not make him chose between me or her because we will only end up apart.

At least I know where I stand. Its not easy to seperate from him just yet cause the house is in our name but I think in time, once I've everything sorted and in order ... I am just going to say goodbye.

I deserve better!

 

[MrsDuck]

You definitely deserve better.. The whole "don't make me pick between you two" is complete blackmail and mind games. He wants the best of both worlds, a wife at home and a bit on the side when he chooses to. Absolute t0sser, get rid chick, mind games are no good to any relationship x

 

[emmahc1975]

Yes absolute d!ck. u deserve so much better. Don't let him take advantage of you I'm any way, esp with the house. Be strong

 

[Butterfly_lady]

Tell him you're not going to make him choose as he has no choice, you are way too good for him, send him off to his home wrecker see how long it lasts

 

[Neisie]

I agree with Butterfly, there is no choice! It's over and he can move on and move out. You can sort out the house once his a$$ is gone!

 

[delicateorchid]

thanks ... im just so confused. i know if a friend told me this was happening to her then i would tell her the same thing but i cant just switch off the fact that up til a week ago, i was in love with him.

i really hate her and i just want to kick him out but ... im just confused. still shaking. I do want to leave him but then again I dont.

 

[princess4d4]

i would kick his ass right out the door love or no love yes it is hard but you deserve to be treated with love and respect not the disregard he is treating you with

 

[Kentlisa]

Ask him to go, even if you are not sure, if its meant to be, he will come back. You don't want to spend the rest of your life unsure.

 

[Yvessa]

thanks ... im just so confused. i know if a friend told me this was happening to her then i would tell her the same thing but i cant just switch off the fact that up til a week ago, i was in love with him.

i really hate her and i just want to kick him out but ... im just confused. still shaking. I do want to leave him but then again I dont.

I hope you find it within yourself to get rid - noone deserves to be treated like that. He obviously knows what a good thing he's got with you as he hasn't left you for her, but he thinks he can have both?! Teach him a lesson. Choose to not put up with his rubbish attitude.

 

[rob.74]

Hiya pls don't shoot the token man here

I totally understand where your head is at regarding maybe not being able to make him leave or you leaving but if I can give you something to maybe think about. Ask yourself the reason your having weight loss surgery? I know for me it's not just about losing the weight or being more healthy,yes they are a major factor in my decision. But it's also about me believing in me it's about me valuing myself and feeling like I am worth something not just a peace of fat skin that is there to be poked fun at when people need to boost their own egos or the last choice because there is no one better to be with ..... I am a very lucky man I am very happily married but from the moment I told myself I am worth it my whole personality changed ...

So what's this got to do with your situation ......ask yourself why your having surgery? Ask yourself how do you want to be treated? Ask yourself do you want to be first choice or she'll do .....

No one deserves to be anything other than number 1 in a relationship...... So don't let anybody else make you feel less than number 1

Don't let the *******s beat you down

Rob

 

[Slimby50]

Read a book called: why men love B*I*T*C*H*E*S by sherry argov...how to turn from doormat to dream girl. It's about self worth and how to stop men walking over u. I was a door mat! In every relationship I over compensated due to my weight. I brought my men everything. I cooked for them etc because I wanted them to stay with me. My last fella left me the day of my op. Then I read the book...good riddence to bad rubbish...I am worth more than that. I agree with the token fella above...my wls surgery was done to make me feel worthy to believe in myself so that I can stand up and b counted. Good luck. It's better to b on ur own tuN to b with a tosser. There are loads of men I. This world who will treat u as the princess u arexxxx

 

[cupid1964]

Kick him to the Kerb Hun if the house is in both names you live there until it's sold. Not making him choose gives him the best of everything, if he wanted his home ect then he wouldn't have messed around or maybe he just thinks he has a right to make you suffer whilst he gets what he wants. You deserve more and deserve respect. X

 

[Lincs Lass]

Making him choose me a***e - what a k**b end !!!

He has no right to demand ANYTHING of you !

I know you have feelings for him which makes it difficult but as you say - you DO deserve more xxxx

 

[adrienne]

I was thinking exactly the same as rob !!
I know fir me, the surgery will help me with my confidence and I imagine that if the same fir most of us on here! Outwardly in the fat funny one! But when I go out I cry because I end up wearing the same outfit year in year out and I feel conspicuous next to my much slimmer friends.

This will be the making of you and should give you the self belief that you are worth so much more! Life is too short to be with someone that does not appreciate you. You need to stand up for yourself !!!! He is a bully!!!! Good luck xx

 

[GeMzY]

he will find out the hard way the grass is only greener on the other side because its growing in bull***t! & by the time he figures that hopefully your self confidence will be sky high & you will realise you are worth much better!

Good luck with whatever you decide xxx

 

[bichonbabies]

OMG I just read this and your other post what a complete S*%T!!!!
Let me tell you a story 9 years ago I was with my ex I idolised him he was my world. We had plenty of money, good jobs, the house and car of my dreams. He suddenly started sleeping with his mobile under his pillow. He behaved differently to me, he was out with friends all the time, I was never invited. He talked and treated me like dog cack. So after a few months of hell we were travelling to see friends and I knew I had him trapped in the car. So we talked, apparantley he didnt love me as much as he had. He was confused and didnt know if he wanted to be in a relationship. So we turned round and went home, he packed and went to his mums to THINK he said!! He swore there was no one else but the look on his face as he drove away was a mixture of relief and happiness.
We were childhood sweethearts my mum and his mum were best friends. He was my best friend we went to school together our families were so close. So I had a whole day of everyone offering opinions and advice on what I should do and how I should handle it. Funnily enough his mum never called which surprised me!
So anyway the next day I went online banking and noticed he had paid the second installment on our wedding a few hours after our chat. I was so happy I thought he had sorted his head out. I just sat crying with pure relief I phoned his mums and he wasn't there (alarm bells), So I phoned his mobile and his pocket answered!!! Put it this way he was either lifting a car up or he was not alone!! turns out he had been seeing this girl for more than a year. So we separated I was heart broken as were our families. A few months later I met the man of my dreams and couldn't be happier. My hubby picked me up dusted me down and has looked after me every day since. I saw my ex a few months ago and he has a crappy life he lost his business too. He is 44 with nothing and no one he has a bed on his Mums landing. Now that's Karma for you!!
Walk away and start again your soul mate is out there. You just havent found him yet everyone deserves the chance to be happy. You more than many xx

 

[bubloo1]

stay strong hun! You deserve to be happy so except any less xxx

 

[Bluegirluk]

D**k of the first degree!!

 

[Beegee]

Every guy I have ever met has cheated on me.... I don't think that says a lot about the guys but I think it speaks volumes about me... I am still truly madly and deeply in love with my ex partner..even though he has now moved in with the lady and they are planning a family. He is still in touch with me regularly and he takes me out for dinner and tells me how great I am looking and that he really fancies me .. and he is doing this because he knows that if it doesn't work out with his current love he can then come back to me.. and I will probably let him. So .. men are not dicks, just calculating because sometimes we women can be soppy saps that will put up with anything. I know its not right and here I am telling you its not right when I should be looking at myself and saying NO! Now you will see earlier I said 'probably let him' back into my life.. at the start of my weight loss journey I would have said 'definitely' let him back in my life.. every day as I am gaining my self respect I am learning to one day tell him firmly and politely NO!

Good luck love.. I am sorry this has happened to you, seek positivity in everything.. and I hope you are better at this game than me. xxxx

 

[Slimby50]

Omg... This last post has got to me... I always felt that I needed a man to make me worthy. I over compensated for my size and was treated like a door mat. My last fella ditched me the day before my op... I let him walk all over me...I felt it was better to b with him than on my own.
After op I am feeling better about myself and its ok to b on my own, until I get my self sorted out...then watch out...because ill b back on the scene and expecting people to live up to my standards..I will not settle for the loosers, users or charitycases...I am worth more than that!