DoubleBubble
New Member
Hello there...
Okies, not to be a narcissist but a little about me;
Im 27
I have been overweight since I remember- aged 8 - 8 stones, aged 11-11 stones and so forth. By age 24 I weighed around 24 stones and had a gastric band fitted at Kings College Hospital by Mr Ameet Patel.
The first three months were good and I lost around 3 stones. Back then there werent any support groups in the area that I was aware of, I also still felt a lot of shame and upset about the fact I'd 'had to resort to surgery' and felt unable to tell people about it. This led to familiar eating patterns reemerging... But, instead of eating a massive meal followed by chocolate and anything sweet, I skipped the big meals and would try and eat smaller meals. When I found I was sick almost daily- sometimes it made sense (i.e. I tried to eat bread- OUCH!) and sometimes it was after a mouthful of salad. The inconsistency was driving me crazy and I got into the pattern I am in now; I avoid eating for fear of being sick and end up faint and ravenous by the end of the day- then I feel I should be able to eat whatever I like, and try to! This usually extends to chocolate and quavers- anything thats easy to melt.
This pattern started around 7 months after surgery and has continued since. I saw an eating disorders service, started psychotherapy, gym, dieticians (AGAIN!) and still found myself struggling. Its hard for me to admit when I fail; I felt I used to having success in most other areas of my life... I avoided the hospital for quite some time- I couldnt face the guilt and shame. I had some fills, unfills etc etc and yet still faced the same issues. The last appointment I went to I remember telling Mr Patel I was eating too much chocolate and he replied 'next time you feel like chocolate, sit on your hands'. I felt quite upset by this- I know he meant no harm and was most likely trying to lighten the mood- but, to me, I felt misunderstood. Around 18 months ago I re-referred myself to Mr Patel and, when I met with the female surgeon on his team (her name escapes me) I was very honest about where I was at in my head. She suggested deflating the band completely and then going back to the clinic. We did this and I was still sick. I then saw another of Mr Patel's team who sent me for a barium meal. During this time I chanced upon a woman on fb; I saw we had mutual friends and she looked fantastic! When I looked at some of her pics I was confused as she seemed to have been heavy and slim at different times. Presently she looked slim, happy and in proportion (still curvy). I randomly sent her a message and asked her secret... She soon told me that she'd had a bypass. We met for coffee and I spoke for the first time (unashamedly) about quite how f**ked up my relationship with food is! She inspired me to continue attending my appointments and explore the bypass as a viable option. I did more research. The results of the barium meal showed there was no slippage but they noticed the food wasnt passing through the band well and I had to lay on my side in the xray in order to facilitate the marshmallow going through the band.
About 12 weeks later I met another member of Mr Patel's team and explained everything over again, he said the bypass was an option but that I needed to meet with Mr Patel. After this meeting I decided to stay and watch the group sessions they now hold (they werent about in 2007). After he spoke I took Mr Patel to one side. He asked where he recognised me from and I explained. I suggested to him that I'd like to consider a gastric bypass and briefly explained my issues. He said that he would rather undertake a duodenal switch. I said I did not want this as I dont think my issues with food would aid me sticking to the strict aftercare (when I feel depressed I purposefully dont look after myself)... he said to do some research and make sure I tell reception that I need to see him next time I come in.
12 weeks later I had an appointment- waited hours- then a member of Mr Patel's team saw me again. I was really anxious and felt quite unwell (my partner at the time was in hospital and Id been sleeping there for a couple of nights and wasnt well). Anyway (justification over!) I was emotional and said that Id been told I could speak with Mr Patel. He said he'd arrange another appointment and I said I'd already been waiting a long time and Mr Patel did tell me to ensure I saw him next time. He spoke with Mr Patel who agreed to see me straightaway. I walked into the room and he had another man there- didnt introduce him but he looked at me emphatically. I regained my composure and explained that Id researched and why I still felt I'd prefer a bypass. We discussed the DS and bypass and I still remained convinced a bypass suits my situation better. By this point my composure was lost and I started blubbering. He said to me 'why are you upset, you can have a bypass, you can have what you want'. I apologised and explained I felt unwell and was stressed and hadnt slept. He was very sweet and told me to go home and relax and that he'd put me on the waiting list for the removal of my band with a view to a gastric bypass when my stomach has had a chance to heal.
That was in Dec 2010. By Feb 2011 I called Kings to check how the waiting list was looking- I found out at this point that I wasnt on the list (although Id had a letter saying I was). Many phone calls later I was on the list and assured it would be retrospective. Anyone still awake?! Anyways- so yea, I came back from my pre-assessment today and Im fit as a butchers dog apparently! Thus, if my bloods are ok I am due to have my band removed in on 6th June! I was wondering if anyone else has anything like my experience? Feel very alone and lacking confidence that even the bypass will work... Any info much appreciated!
DB
Okies, not to be a narcissist but a little about me;
Im 27
I have been overweight since I remember- aged 8 - 8 stones, aged 11-11 stones and so forth. By age 24 I weighed around 24 stones and had a gastric band fitted at Kings College Hospital by Mr Ameet Patel.
The first three months were good and I lost around 3 stones. Back then there werent any support groups in the area that I was aware of, I also still felt a lot of shame and upset about the fact I'd 'had to resort to surgery' and felt unable to tell people about it. This led to familiar eating patterns reemerging... But, instead of eating a massive meal followed by chocolate and anything sweet, I skipped the big meals and would try and eat smaller meals. When I found I was sick almost daily- sometimes it made sense (i.e. I tried to eat bread- OUCH!) and sometimes it was after a mouthful of salad. The inconsistency was driving me crazy and I got into the pattern I am in now; I avoid eating for fear of being sick and end up faint and ravenous by the end of the day- then I feel I should be able to eat whatever I like, and try to! This usually extends to chocolate and quavers- anything thats easy to melt.
This pattern started around 7 months after surgery and has continued since. I saw an eating disorders service, started psychotherapy, gym, dieticians (AGAIN!) and still found myself struggling. Its hard for me to admit when I fail; I felt I used to having success in most other areas of my life... I avoided the hospital for quite some time- I couldnt face the guilt and shame. I had some fills, unfills etc etc and yet still faced the same issues. The last appointment I went to I remember telling Mr Patel I was eating too much chocolate and he replied 'next time you feel like chocolate, sit on your hands'. I felt quite upset by this- I know he meant no harm and was most likely trying to lighten the mood- but, to me, I felt misunderstood. Around 18 months ago I re-referred myself to Mr Patel and, when I met with the female surgeon on his team (her name escapes me) I was very honest about where I was at in my head. She suggested deflating the band completely and then going back to the clinic. We did this and I was still sick. I then saw another of Mr Patel's team who sent me for a barium meal. During this time I chanced upon a woman on fb; I saw we had mutual friends and she looked fantastic! When I looked at some of her pics I was confused as she seemed to have been heavy and slim at different times. Presently she looked slim, happy and in proportion (still curvy). I randomly sent her a message and asked her secret... She soon told me that she'd had a bypass. We met for coffee and I spoke for the first time (unashamedly) about quite how f**ked up my relationship with food is! She inspired me to continue attending my appointments and explore the bypass as a viable option. I did more research. The results of the barium meal showed there was no slippage but they noticed the food wasnt passing through the band well and I had to lay on my side in the xray in order to facilitate the marshmallow going through the band.
About 12 weeks later I met another member of Mr Patel's team and explained everything over again, he said the bypass was an option but that I needed to meet with Mr Patel. After this meeting I decided to stay and watch the group sessions they now hold (they werent about in 2007). After he spoke I took Mr Patel to one side. He asked where he recognised me from and I explained. I suggested to him that I'd like to consider a gastric bypass and briefly explained my issues. He said that he would rather undertake a duodenal switch. I said I did not want this as I dont think my issues with food would aid me sticking to the strict aftercare (when I feel depressed I purposefully dont look after myself)... he said to do some research and make sure I tell reception that I need to see him next time I come in.
12 weeks later I had an appointment- waited hours- then a member of Mr Patel's team saw me again. I was really anxious and felt quite unwell (my partner at the time was in hospital and Id been sleeping there for a couple of nights and wasnt well). Anyway (justification over!) I was emotional and said that Id been told I could speak with Mr Patel. He said he'd arrange another appointment and I said I'd already been waiting a long time and Mr Patel did tell me to ensure I saw him next time. He spoke with Mr Patel who agreed to see me straightaway. I walked into the room and he had another man there- didnt introduce him but he looked at me emphatically. I regained my composure and explained that Id researched and why I still felt I'd prefer a bypass. We discussed the DS and bypass and I still remained convinced a bypass suits my situation better. By this point my composure was lost and I started blubbering. He said to me 'why are you upset, you can have a bypass, you can have what you want'. I apologised and explained I felt unwell and was stressed and hadnt slept. He was very sweet and told me to go home and relax and that he'd put me on the waiting list for the removal of my band with a view to a gastric bypass when my stomach has had a chance to heal.
That was in Dec 2010. By Feb 2011 I called Kings to check how the waiting list was looking- I found out at this point that I wasnt on the list (although Id had a letter saying I was). Many phone calls later I was on the list and assured it would be retrospective. Anyone still awake?! Anyways- so yea, I came back from my pre-assessment today and Im fit as a butchers dog apparently! Thus, if my bloods are ok I am due to have my band removed in on 6th June! I was wondering if anyone else has anything like my experience? Feel very alone and lacking confidence that even the bypass will work... Any info much appreciated!
DB
I can't offer any info, however i wanted to wish you all the best. This place is amazing, so stick around as i am sure you will find so much support on here that you need. x
