no one cares

[Rosebun]

I understand

I told my oldest brother the other month that I had this surgery and he asked what my weight was at the start. I told him thinking he would support me, but instead he asked how anyone can get to that weight. I was 34 stone lost 2 stone myself then started my quest for WLS.

I then told him how I got to this weight with no holds barred. I think he was sorry for asking as I he realised he knew nothing about my life as a child or an adult. I think its my life I deal with life the best I can.

I am sure you do to Bigun so good luck to you and hope it all happens soon.

Rosebun x

 

[katemal]

Try to stay strong, although it hurts what others think doesn't matter. It's what you think and feel and want that's important. Good luck on your journey xxx

 

[tiffanyxo]

thats upsetting

 

[beverley nana]

Hi , had my surgery 9th Aug, bypass Sunderland, Doing great. Sure you will x

 

[beverley nana]

You know this is right for you and your wife and child.
Stuff everyone else, you will and can do it, Good Luck, Beverley nana

 

[bigun]

thanks guys

 

[BrianT]

Bigun It's your life and your body the only opinion that matters is yours.
I know it's nice to have the support of friends and family, and no doubt if they were in your position you would be offering your support unconditionally.
Don't them get you down these people have small minds and really aren't worth the bother. As you've probably seen on here you are not alone in how you feel we've probably all had it in one form or another so it's not just you.
The people that matter in your life are those that support YOUR decisions in life not those that judge you because of them.

 

[Ready For Change]

I had mixed responses as well. My worst critic was my manager at work. He refused to give me company sick pay as in his opinion "you have not exhausted every other weightloss method and think you are taking the easy way out"..! What gives him the right to judge me so personally when I've only known him for 6 months.
My attitude now is that if people disagree with it, then they shouldn't ask me questions about it or say how well I'm doing as that is the most hypocritical thing they can do.
You are doing this for all of the right reasons, I'm doing this to enable me to have kids and for you to do it to grow old with your wife and see your son have children is the best decision ever. Do not be put off by these over opinionated people and ask them when they start preaching that if you died due to your weight what would they say then? Grrrr I hate it when everyone becomes a psycologist and they think they can cure a lifetime of food addiction in one day..! Go for it and get healthy for your wife and son's sake..!
Luck & Love
xxx

 

[emmaambler]

hi there im so sorry that ur family is been like that with u and i agree wen u said easy saying than easy doin ... my family didnt want me to have a gastric bypass which i had in feb 2010 at castle hill hull ,,, its the best choice i have made i have lost over 13 stones in 17 month i still after see dr sedman as im still looseing weight fast which it should have slowed dwn and i have just found out that im 2 month pregnant ... i hope u are well and all this is not changeing ya mind u are doing it for ya self and ya wife & son i hope u do really well and i wish u luck xxxx emma

 

[Katkit1]

I had mixed responses as well. My worst critic was my manager at work. He refused to give me company sick pay as in his opinion "you have not exhausted every other weightloss method and think you are taking the easy way out"..! What gives him the right to judge me so personally when I've only known him for 6 months.
My attitude now is that if people disagree with it, then they shouldn't ask me questions about it or say how well I'm doing as that is the most hypocritical thing they can do.
You are doing this for all of the right reasons, I'm doing this to enable me to have kids and for you to do it to grow old with your wife and see your son have children is the best decision ever. Do not be put off by these over opinionated people and ask them when they start preaching that if you died due to your weight what would they say then? Grrrr I hate it when everyone becomes a psycologist and they think they can cure a lifetime of food addiction in one day..! Go for it and get healthy for your wife and son's sake..!
Luck & Love


Surely Katie - its the companys policy to pay you sick pay if your off sick; which surgery is!

Its your statutory right to expect it and get it......if you have any problems get advice from citizens advice. Don`t take it lying down hun x
xxx

Love Kat x

 

[Katkit1]

hi there im so sorry that ur family is been like that with u and i agree wen u said easy saying than easy doin ... my family didnt want me to have a gastric bypass which i had in feb 2010 at castle hill hull ,,, its the best choice i have made i have lost over 13 stones in 17 month i still after see dr sedman as im still looseing weight fast which it should have slowed dwn and i have just found out that im 2 month pregnant ... i hope u are well and all this is not changeing ya mind u are doing it for ya self and ya wife & son i hope u do really well and i wish u luck xxxx emma

Congratulations Emma - hope everything works out well for you hun x


Love Kat x

 

[bigun]

congrats emma


well i spent 28 days last year in hospital with mrsa cellulitus and blood posioning i have other health issues this almost killed me so loosing some weight will give me a better quality of life

if i could of lost the weight thru diet and exercise i would of done it i had a car crash when i was 18 i crushed my right arm u was given some steriods to help build up the muscle but it started my weight gain if there was a pill i could take to loose weight i be some where in line

 

[Ready For Change]

Love Kat x

Kat, apparently it's at managers discretion. Company sick pay is a benefit not a right, so I was told anyways. I do think when I'm back next week I will take it further, not necessarily for the money but I feel like he needs to learn some people skills. Thanks Kat x

 

[poo bear]

:553:Hi ,

I am so sorry that your have been treated like that by the very people who should be behind you.
To be honest i have not told to many friends and family as they all have said you are fine the way you are !!!! What a crock!!!!
I think people just become very contented with you being the BIG one and dont want you to change ..
I had my bypass on wednesday and i am so glad i have ,you go for it ,for you and your wife and child .

Love Marie.xxx

 

[bigun]

thanks poo bear there are a few big people in the family but i am the biggest by far but they look down on me for doing this they all go to sliming world or weight watchers as being male in a rural area there all full of women i have asked the leader of the club if i could have a all male club and i get told there is no chance as there are far to few males to get one going so i find it off put to join an all female club

 

[Denise Morris]

hi gang

has any one here been told that we dont care ive just come back from a family bbq a bit miffed off with with the family i know my parents know why im doing this but a few members have had a right ding dong one even told i should more dieting and go to the gym more but like i said easy said than done one told me how she lost 2stone in six months so i laffed at her and said that my last hospital stay i lost 6 stone cos the meds messed with me 28 days of just liquids but i lose 6 and gain 8 it just goes to show that ppl dont care im feed up with ppl who dont understand im not lazy i have worked in the tyre trade since 94 to 09 in the last to years YES my weight has gone up from 25 stone to 46 im not proud of it i was shocked when i was told in march im 6"9`so i carry it well i have tried every thing my gp has set before me i loose some keep it off the gain more i cant help being fat but i am doing this to prolong my life i have a wife and beauitful son who i love so much this not just cos i can have it done RANT OVER

What the hell has it to do with anyone else, its okay for those people who can control weight to be critical of others but the decision is yours and no-one elses (as I have previously pointed out) and is not an easy one to make.
I did not make decision to have surgery just to lose weight and look good (although thats a bonus) it was for my health which after losing 6 stone so far has dramatically improved. As as pre op nurse (who was around 20 stone) I had seen lot of bariatric patients but even with constant joint pains it still took me 4 years to pluck up courage to ask GP for referral. I guess I am lucky I did not encounter any negativity from family/friends or if there was any subtle comments I am too thick skinned to take any notice lol.
Don't let anyone put you off with their opinions, if it feels right for you then it is. Good luck.

 

[liggielass]

:553:Hi ,

I am so sorry that your have been treated like that by the very people who should be behind you.
To be honest i have not told to many friends and family as they all have said you are fine the way you are !!!! What a crock!!!!
I think people just become very contented with you being the BIG one and dont want you to change ..
I had my bypass on wednesday and i am so glad i have ,you go for it ,for you and your wife and child .

Love Marie.xxx

hope you ok marie xxxxxxxxx

 

[liggielass]

What the hell has it to do with anyone else, its okay for those people who can control weight to be critical of others but the decision is yours and no-one elses (as I have previously pointed out) and is not an easy one to make.
I did not make decision to have surgery just to lose weight and look good (although thats a bonus) it was for my health which after losing 6 stone so far has dramatically improved. As as pre op nurse (who was around 20 stone) I had seen lot of bariatric patients but even with constant joint pains it still took me 4 years to pluck up courage to ask GP for referral. I guess I am lucky I did not encounter any negativity from family/friends or if there was any subtle comments I am too thick skinned to take any notice lol.
Don't let anyone put you off with their opinions, if it feels right for you then it is. Good luck.

yes denise is right,,you and your health comes first so; to hell with them xxxxxxx

 

[bigun]

well would they like it if i turned around and say god your stick thin eat more no they would not so why tell me my x doctor told me every time i was over weight but never even asked me i changed to a new doctors then on my first visit he told me he would do every thing he could he kept his word and now im waiting on my date going to call tomorrow for an update

 

[phatmomma]

thanks poo bear there are a few big people in the family but i am the biggest by far but they look down on me for doing this they all go to sliming world or weight watchers as being male in a rural area there all full of women i have asked the leader of the club if i could have a all male club and i get told there is no chance as there are far to few males to get one going so i find it off put to join an all female club

I just read another post of yours about your wife being a big girl and worrying you will leave her for a thinner model...

Here's a thought for both of you! Why not get yourself down to the local slimming world or weight watchers (may be you can get these on prescription as some parts of the country do this scheme). You will have company and not feel like a freak show being the only guy in the room. Your wife will get some motivation to shift a few lbs, you will make some friends who know what its like to struggle with a weight problem.

You will be amazed how popular the only man in the class is And you will pick up some fabulous dieting tips when your there xx