I have been very suprised by the reaction of some of my friends to my having surgery. I am confused and don't quite know how to deal with it. My family and very close friends are very supportive and encouraging but a few people I considered friends have been suprisingly sacarstic and stinging with their opinions. One of the comments I got was that I would not know how to handle being slim and would be miserable. Am I the only one who is/has been on the receiving end of such reactions? If not how do I handle it? Please help..:sigh:
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Question: Odd reactions from friends.
- Thread starter Jellybaby
- Start date
sewingbelle56
New Member
hi , i would say that they are not a real friend and a real friend would want to encourage you to be happy and sucessfulll in what you try .
and they are probably not worth the bother, rely on your family and go for it , you have only one life, and you should live it to the full, if getting weight loss surgery helps you do it . good for you,.... be happy.... love sewingbelle
and they are probably not worth the bother, rely on your family and go for it , you have only one life, and you should live it to the full, if getting weight loss surgery helps you do it . good for you,.... be happy.... love sewingbelle
Snowcrystal
New Member
Hi Jellybaby
Someone else posted something similar and I told them it's because quite often some people are ignorant of what WLS is all about and what it means for the person having it.
Sometimes when people give you a hard time about the WLS, it's their way of trying to show that they are concerned for you, but they should never be scathing or sarcastic...You could have asked them how they cope with being slim and alos ask if they would like to help you find out?
Of course you will handle being slim, it's far easier than handling being overweight.
If people genuinely can't 'handle' your major changes in your life that are for the better, then just maybe they shouldn't be there at all.
Good luck hun, you will do fine.
(((hugs)))
Mixman
New Member
Over the coming weeks you will probably find out who your true friends are. From what they say, it sounds like they have issues about themselves rather than with you. I wouldn't worry too much! I know it's easier said than done!
I have had support from everybody, bar one. One woman who I work with reckons that I shouldn't even be able to be having time off work sick and that I should be taking it as holidays as the operations is 'only cosmetic, like having a breast enlargement'
I have had support from everybody, bar one. One woman who I work with reckons that I shouldn't even be able to be having time off work sick and that I should be taking it as holidays as the operations is 'only cosmetic, like having a breast enlargement'
Snowcrystal
New Member
Over the coming weeks you will probably find out who your true friends are. From what they say, it sounds like they have issues about themselves rather than with you. I wouldn't worry too much! I know it's easier said than done!
I have had support from everybody, bar one. One woman who I work with reckons that I shouldn't even be able to be having time off work sick and that I should be taking it as holidays as the operations is 'only cosmetic, like having a breast enlargement'
What a cow!...Tell her that your operation is as life saving as is a heart operation.
No one bats an eye lid at time off for heart operations or even some cancers that could have originally been damaged or caused by poor diet... But as soon as you say WLS, you always get 'one' don't you? The over principled know-it-all and know-nothing tight knickered mealy mouth idiot.
All the best of luck Mixman....
(hugs)
j.u.s.t.l.i.z.
Runs Srh Support Group
people make comments like that because its them that wont know how to handle you slim ! its there problem there jellousy and they want to put you down and keep you the way you are now for there benefit as they dont know how they will deal with the slim new you. tell them to eff off !
go for it you can do this and if they dont like it tough !
good luck hunny xxx
liz xxx
go for it you can do this and if they dont like it tough !
good luck hunny xxx
liz xxx
Caroline101061
New Member
Lose the 'friends' who make the negative comments - its excess weight you dont need. I think its jealousy and who needs that.
BlueDiamond
New Member
Even though friends are meant to be honest in their advice to others, some times ppl do not think about other peoples feelings. If your "friends" cannot accept your decision or keep making sarky comments,I say ditch the deadwood. Its an emotional baggage you can do without.
All the best - MeJulie
All the best - MeJulie
quetiapina
Bumps along somehow
As with the others my lovely, ditch any crappy "friends". Try not to dwell on negative comments. Hard I know. Have a few revenge fantasies - that's what I do. People are so ignorant - and as for you not being able to handle being slim - what on earth do they mean? What a totally idiotic thing to say - yr average earth worm would have more sense than that! Tell her to get back to the gutter she congealed in. Pah!
vanilla-cupcake
Active Member
Tell them if they keep it up not only will you be having WLS but also MLS (mate loss surgery)
This is exactly the reason I have kept my surgery to myself except my best friend cos I couldn't be bothered with ignoramous people out there thinking they have the almighty right to judge you and think they know better
Ditch these so called 'friends' cos friends aren't suppose to act like that
That comment 'you wouldn't know how to handle being slim' is really bugging me.........what a *****
candie
fabby not flabby :)
Just stay focused on your journey to better health, and a happier life, and ignore all the jealous negative peeps x
Luckily the two friends I have told have been v supportive, and my family are fab too, but nothing they could say would make me reconsider my surgery anyway
Luckily the two friends I have told have been v supportive, and my family are fab too, but nothing they could say would make me reconsider my surgery anyway
Porpo
New Member
People can be really selfish and just see things from how they will be affected. When I lost a lot of weight a few years ago my sister said something like "you have to stop now, you are thin enough - I'm supposed to be the thin and pretty one" and she meant it too!!
Just ignore the comments they are jealous and dont know what they're talking about Xxxxx
Just ignore the comments they are jealous and dont know what they're talking about Xxxxx
ilovemy5babies
New Member
big hugs hunnie xx
margaretmc
New Member
Hi Jellybaby
That's why I didn't tell many people because I couldn't be bothered with the negative comments we don't need that . You`ll be fine hun at lease you`v got your family and close friends there for you . Good luck and take care .
Margaret xx
That's why I didn't tell many people because I couldn't be bothered with the negative comments we don't need that . You`ll be fine hun at lease you`v got your family and close friends there for you . Good luck and take care .
Margaret xx
PinkyButtonz
New Member
Same here,
I've only told my mum, brother and daughter. The only slight negative was from my mum because she's scared I'll die, which I can understand.
I'm undecided whether to tell my best friend. For me the fewer people that know the better.
Pinkx
Gail-michelle
likes to post
Who needs friends like that!!! at the end of the day you are going to become the beautiful swan so leave the ugly duckling to dwell on her own self pity (friend that is) as its only jelousy comming out. Whats up with her, is it because she aint going to look good any more at the side of you being over weight. You see it all the time when your out. The ugly thin one out with the pretty faced over weight one. At the end of the day YOU!! can change your body but YOU!! cant change your face.:8855::8855::8855: G.M
Last edited:
margaretmc
New Member
Hi Pink
If you want to tell your friend you could start talking about Fern Briton and how well she looks then leave it to see how she reacts . Leave it for a few days and bring it up again and tell her . That's what I`m going to do with a friend of mine . Your mum is just worried about you hun and that's the same as all of our families . Take care .
Margaret xx
claireydingdongbell
New Member
Jealousy jealousy jealousy; just smile and say 'thank you for your kind concern' (*****y peeps don't know how to handle a nice retort) & add - 'keep me your clothes i'll be needing them!' xxx
Nezzy
New Member
I had 2 negative comments - 1 being 'Is your work allowing you time off sick when its cosmetic' and I replied well its not cosmetic when your doc tells you that you will be dead within 10 years if you don't do something about your weight.
the 2nd comment was about the 2 week pre op diet to which I lost 16lb, they said' well whats the need for surgery just keep going with the diet' IF THEY ONLY KNEW!!!
Well take no notice and best of luck
Anez xxx
the 2nd comment was about the 2 week pre op diet to which I lost 16lb, they said' well whats the need for surgery just keep going with the diet' IF THEY ONLY KNEW!!!
Well take no notice and best of luck
Anez xxx
thinkbethin
New Member
Ignore negative comments and relish the positive ones. People don't always realise what their comments mean. They are ignorant to the fact that you have started a whole new journey in your life to be a fitter, healthier you and they can't handle it. Having weight loss surgery is one of the bravest ops any of us could have had. It was a choice we made ourselves because we all knew when enough was enough. If friends can't understand the risk you took and the determination you have to get your life back on track then they are not worth bothering with. True friends would be much more supportive and encourage you along your journey.
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