Lack of support from friends and family

[WitchInWorthing]

Hi J0anne - your OH sounds like he might be a bit worried that when you lose the weight you will suddenly be getting lots of attention from other men... if he loves you then he will love you whatever size you are and he should be thrilled that you will be a fitter, longer living, longer loving woman! Chin up babes and stick to your guns x

 

[sarahrob]

Joanne, my ex was dead set against it. He did like big girls, but it was also to do with his insecurity. He felt more secure of me when I was down on myself. I think he figured that the fatter I was, the lower my self esteem would be and the less likely I would have high expectations of him or us.
Sadly for him I'm pretty damn fabulous fat or thin, one of the reasons he's now my ex!

Sometimes if we make huge life changes our loved ones can fear that we'll grow away from them. Doesn't mean they get to make us feel bad about trying to improve our lives though...

S

 

[louloumoo]

A guess for me it was a little different.. However just like to guys I had battled to maintain my weight for the last 15 years, constantly being on a diet. I think I can be very disciplined which helped me to continually go on diet and loose large amounts of weight. (Putting on 2, loosing 2). Only to then go and put it back on a agin..
I was slowly putting on the weight I lost last summer when I decided I could afford a gastric band.. Thought about it before but due to money and more importantly nice guidelines I was unable to have one.
I had a BMI of 30 size 12/14 weight 11.12.

So what I heard from friends and family was "your not big enough" "it's unethical" " there is nothing wrong with u" " u only need to loose a stone and go the gym" "your gorg as u are"
Well actually that ain't the case... I was considered obese, and therefore risking my health, I had lost and gained 16 stone over the years and I am only 33.. (Biggeat being 14 stone) There is lots of obesity in my family and it was only a matter of time before I got bigger and bigger..
And what I hear from u guys so much is how u wish u had done it earlier.
So for me it was prevention.. Most people apart from my hubby and my mum (who are very supportive) think I'm crazy..
Once I give them my explanation they appear to understand more.. And there are some people who think its a great idea..
So just because I had my band fitted at bmi 30 doesn't mean I don't understand everything I hear u guys talk about.. My mind works in that same way.
I've often referred to myself (when slimmer) as a fat person in a slim persons body!!

So please don't see me as a fraud I am here with the same battle as yourselves, I just have a little leas to loose. Xx

 

[Jackiesnewstart]

My problem is I have told friends who have been mostly great with one telling me not to get too slim by that she means the ideal weight for my 5 ft height.
I have not told any family as my dad is 83 (does not act or look his age) I don't want him to worry and also I don't want him to tell my two sisters. I have had no contact with either of them for almost 2 years.
I have had awful balance condition which along with some other medical problems including severe depression has led to a weight gain of 5 stone.

 

[WitchInWorthing]

So please don't see me as a fraud I am here with the same battle as yourselves, I just have a little leas to loose. Xx[/QUOTE]

Hey hunni.... you are not a fraud - its not the amounts that matter, its the mindset. If this is what you need to keep the weight off and keep you healthy then it is no one elses business. Of course I would love to be a size 14 rather than a 28 and I am looking forward to it, but size and change is relative and at the end of the day it is what is in your heart and how you treat people that matters.

Good luck with your band and weight loss - keep us posted! xxx