Relationship Breakdowns

[jojo12080976]

Hey Everyone,

Havent been on here in a long while, purely as my phone is pants and not had chance to get on line.

Hope everyone is well and life is treating them good.

Mine is not so great at the moment :cry:

In this last month I have split with my long term boyfriend of 12 years we are kind of still friends but he believes that since I have lost all my weight I have changed and think I am beautiful and everyman wants me and thinks I have cheated on him and met someone else which is not the case.

I know this is his insecurities but the trust has gone and there is no way back from this now.

I left because f the arguments we were having not because I thought I was better than him.

Then 2 weeks after my split my dear mum sadly passed away very unexpectedly which is the same time as my brother who passed away 2 years ago.

So I can feel the old demons coming and creeping back reaching for the junk food or sweets not so much though as I feel sick and in my head I make myself believe I will be sick, although people at work have said I have lost weight since this that's probally because of stress.

Next week I will bury my mum so not looking forward to that.

I was just wondering has anybody elses relationships broken down because of the surgery and how did they cope ???

Not that mine was because of that on my part.

Anyways hope everyone had a great easter and bank holiday.

weight loss update im around 13 stone 7lbs down from just under 25st 18 months post op so I give myself a pat on the back for that x

happy losing peeps here is an up to date pic x

muchos love

Jojo x

 

[caraline]

OMG you have been through the mill over the last couple off weeks. All my deepest sympathy hun reguarding your mam. i lost my mam 7 years ago. and I still wish she could just put her arms round me. and tell me every think is going to be ok. But! I'm sure your mam will be looking down on you making you a stronger person. And has for your ex -partner well in the long run its his loss and you have your life to get back together. good luck hun in your weightloss, Big hugs x

 

[stuckinafatsuit]

Hi
My relationship broke down 10 weeks ago for exactly the same reasons. As i was losing weight he kept saying i was going to leave him for somebody else, this was not true. Mid january just after burying my grandmother i noticed his mobile never left his side and i confronted him about it. He confessed he had been texting a woman from work but didnt know if he wanted to stay with me or not. I asked him to leave anyway and havent seen him since. Im afraid i went on a bit of a bender, getting pissed and even snogging someone on a cab ride home! Im devestated and trying to start some sort of new life, i was with him 13 years so i feel totally lost and frightened for the future. My weight loss has lost its shine as my self esteem is on the floor and i hope in time i will be happy again.

Kim

 

[Alex D]

whoa, hope mine doesnt break down, i do worry about it tho, i think it scares people, they feel secure when were fat, im so sorry about all of the bad stuff.

take care guys, dont let em get u down!!

as for the deaths, nothing i can say can really make that seem better eh, i konw i lost my mum when i was very young, its never easy loosing people, it never gets easier but i find ways to make em proud etc and one thing that wont help is putting weight back on so keep making everyone who loves your proud and the rest can f.r.o!!!

<3

 

[Yvessa]

Hi
My relationship broke down 10 weeks ago for exactly the same reasons. As i was losing weight he kept saying i was going to leave him for somebody else, this was not true. Mid january just after burying my grandmother i noticed his mobile never left his side and i confronted him about it. He confessed he had been texting a woman from work but didnt know if he wanted to stay with me or not. I asked him to leave anyway and havent seen him since. Im afraid i went on a bit of a bender, getting pissed and even snogging someone on a cab ride home! Im devestated and trying to start some sort of new life, i was with him 13 years so i feel totally lost and frightened for the future. My weight loss has lost its shine as my self esteem is on the floor and i hope in time i will be happy again.

Kim

So sorry to hear this hun

 

[penelope1008]

Many sympathies on your losses as for the partners, they have let two beautiful women go because of their flaws nothing to do with you. Here's hoping things improve on a personal level for you both.
I've had my stresses with hubby & now 2 out of 3 sons depression & mental health issues, I'm hanging in there getting help for my depression, but despite all of it I'm lucky hubby & I are hanging on in there 29th anniversary just gone by. Hope you soon find a light at the end of your personal tunnels.

 

[mywishes]

so sorry to read about your loss and relationship.

my partner has started already saying i will go off with someone else and i havent had the op yet.! i can appreciate they find the changes hard too but hey as the weight comes off then the weight of our emotional baggage is released too...

Angela

 

[natashoorrr]

I am thinking of splitting with my partner of three years because he is pushing me away. As discussed in another thread I think he is jealous I am reaching my goals and he is insecure I'm going to leave him so he is sort of doin it before I do. In an ideal world he would grow up and we could be happy again but even though just thinking about it brings me to tears I'm pretty sure in the log run its for the best.

 

[lousarah]

Just wanted to say sorry for your loss and send you hugs. X

 

[jojo12080976]

Thank you everyone for your kind messages!!

xx

 

[Daisy85]

Hope I'm not took the wrong way but when we had insecuretys these where the ppl that made us feel better telling us we looked lovely and they loved us for what we was so surely now the tables have turned its time to get them through there insecuretys.
I understand that I'm only scratching the surface with regards to relationship problems.
It's like the saying if you arnt good enough for me at my worst then you sure as hell aint good enough for me at my best. Well they was good enough for us at our worst hell they are probably the reason that we got through our worst so maybe there is a way to work harder at the relationship for them to enjoy us at our best xxx

 

[jojo12080976]

Hope I'm not took the wrong way but when we had insecuretys these where the ppl that made us feel better telling us we looked lovely and they loved us for what we was so surely now the tables have turned its time to get them through there insecuretys.
I understand that I'm only scratching the surface with regards to relationship problems.
It's like the saying if you arnt good enough for me at my worst then you sure as hell aint good enough for me at my best. Well they was good enough for us at our worst hell they are probably the reason that we got through our worst so maybe there is a way to work harder at the relationship for them to enjoy us at our best xxx

i hear what your saying and it is true i have done my hardest to reasure him.

If truth be known there have been problems with us long before my op but sometimes enough is enough?

I urge people to try and work at things as its a relationship and you love these people and they love you!

if i thought we could work things out i would but i know in honesty on top of other reasons im happier now.