Sam's Musings

[Turps]

No, cold puree doesn't sound nice at all. Hope you get a new microwave asap.

I agree, people do talk about food all the time. I find myself noticing how often/much people eat too, which is wrong of me as I would have eaten the same if not more before. I suppose it's because we're so focussed on what we can and can't eat atm.

 

[puddytats]

Well done for refusing the food, Sam. It's very tough. I refused cake at Beavers on Weds - Cubs were making cakes in the microwave. I was so proud of myself saying no

No, cold puree doesn't sound nice at all. Hope you get a new microwave asap.

I agree, people do talk about food all the time. I find myself noticing how often/much people eat too, which is wrong of me as I would have eaten the same if not more before. I suppose it's because we're so focussed on what we can and can't eat atm.

I look at what other people eat. For example, and this sounds awful, so please bare with me, on holiday wth a friend and my folks, I saw what friend was eating and was horrified. Not at her, but 12 weeks ago, I was eating the same portions. That's what horrified me most!

 

[Penelope]

Well done for refusing the food, Sam. It's very tough. I refused cake at Beavers on Weds - Cubs were making cakes in the microwave. I was so proud of myself saying no



I look at what other people eat. For example, and this sounds awful, so please bare with me, on holiday wth a friend and my folks, I saw what friend was eating and was horrified. Not at her, but 12 weeks ago, I was eating the same portions. That's what horrified me most!

My mother in law was a tiny woman and I was looking at my plate the other day, when I realised that she used to eat portions not much bigger than those I am going to be eating. It was a bit of an eye opener for me that I really need to forget about how I used to eat - that was how I got to 25 stones.

 

[SAM55]

Well done for refusing the food, Sam. It's very tough. I refused cake at Beavers on Weds - Cubs were making cakes in the microwave. I was so proud of myself saying no



I look at what other people eat. For example, and this sounds awful, so please bare with me, on holiday wth a friend and my folks, I saw what friend was eating and was horrified. Not at her, but 12 weeks ago, I was eating the same portions. That's what horrified me most!

Thanks Puddy Well done on refusing the cake! The strange thing is that I have been trying and often successfully refusing bread for a few years now and only occasionally become tempted. I think it was more the having something to chew that tempted me and the butter at the moment. Looking forward to trying something crispy on Tuesday. Chocolate cake I went off about 18 months ago after I had successfully weaned myself off chocolate bars, it was just too sweet, so if i had tried a piece (if I physically could, I would have taken a mouthful and given up). Now if it had been a fruit cake...

Haven't had the experience of sitting down to a proper meal with others so that is going to be interesting. As I live on my own my eating with others is confined to going out for a meal, usually a curry or a pub meal, so it will be a while before I have to experience that I think my first venture to do this will be with my friend who is on totally the opposite end of the weight spectrum so eats very little and has many food intolerance's.

 

[SAM55]

Have just had a real bout of head hunger and was heading to the fridge after someone really p****** me off having made a muck up of some budget spreadsheets they had told me were ok to send to funders (which I did) and then find they had got it wrong!!!! I didn't succumb and as we were communicating by FB messenger when I found out have sent lots of grumpy replies and stroppy GIFs!

This was to someone who is always telling me to express my anger and not bottle it up!!

 

[FeeBee]

Well if they told you to express your anger and they made you angry I hope they accepted the grumpy GIFs!
Also well done on stopping yourself. I think even if you had tried to eat something you'd probably not have got very far before your body firmly told you to stop but getting yourself out of that mind set before you start eating is much better. I hope today is a better day x

 

[Rose2016]

What's a GIF?

 

[SAM55]

What's a GIF?

a tiny animation.

 

[SAM55]

Have just made the teens on my weekly weigh in. It was eight years ago since I was that weight.

Had hoped it would have been last week as i was nearly there but not quite.

It has been an exhausting week physically and emotionally but have not wanted to stuff my face to kill the emotions or try to raise my energy levels. Could have really done with a stiff drink last night though!!!

Ate out for the first time on Tuesday when I met up with my daughter. Played very safe as I was only into second day of eating proper food and had a child's portion of cottage pie and baked beans - didn't want to be puking in public, although happily so far puking has been off the menu I refused the chips that went with it so they slopped on extra beans before I could stop them, which I didn't manage. She is vegan so I had no designs on her meal

Was also able to walk around shopping centre quite easily without wanting to sit down. We went to see Bridget Jones's Baby which was hilarious, and stored a happy memory of one of our rare times together, not knowing if/when the next one will be as she is off to live in New Zealand today.

Was at a conference yesterday (had gone prepared with my own food) as I knew most of it would be sandwiches. I happily ignored them and the cake, but the sausage rolls looked amazing, but I resisted...

Went for a longer walk on Thursday with a friend and managed a few hills (slopes) without as much effort, but have been struggling with dizzy spells, indoors and out. It could be blood pressure which is now being monitored, or it could be vertigo, but it is very disconcerting

Have ordered some more short sleeve t-shirts in two smaller sizes and smaller knickers. Need to declutter the wardrobe again!

Finding drinking easier now so not as dehydrated as i was, but have developed very sore gums, which is probably down to some mineral deficiency. Have dentist on Thursday anyway so can discuss this with her.

My dietician wants to keep me on Forceval (yuk) and i have only just realised you have to leave an hour after food before taking it duh! I normally take all vits when I have my breakfast, and waiting 30 mins before a drink is bad enough but having to remember to wait another half hour before the Forceval is going to be a real pain in the arse, as i am thinking about or doing other things by then...

Putting my feet up today for a well earned rest

 

[FeeBee]

Well done you I'm so so glad you've got those precious memories and I can't imagine how emotional you feel about your daughter moving away. Be very proud of the fact you're not dealing with it by eating Just think how proud she's going to be when you're next together though.
Bridget Jones's Baby had me crying in parts I laughed so much, particularly the revolving door

 

[LittleMissNom]

Way to go @SAM55
I had some fun with dizzy spells and it seemed to be a combination of things, not quite enough water, running low on fuel (too big a gap betwen snacks/ meals) and burning up fuel too fast as although i chose items that were low fat I am now quite annoyed they add sugar to many low fat products!!! Argh. Why!!!! If you are going for a walk or sometime maybe time a snack just before you go.

 

[Turps]

The teens, that is so fantastic! Way to go, you!

 

[Penelope]

Have just made the teens on my weekly weigh in. It was eight years ago since I was that weight.

Had hoped it would have been last week as i was nearly there but not quite.

It has been an exhausting week physically and emotionally but have not wanted to stuff my face to kill the emotions or try to raise my energy levels. Could have really done with a stiff drink last night though!!!

Ate out for the first time on Tuesday when I met up with my daughter. Played very safe as I was only into second day of eating proper food and had a child's portion of cottage pie and baked beans - didn't want to be puking in public, although happily so far puking has been off the menu I refused the chips that went with it so they slopped on extra beans before I could stop them, which I didn't manage. She is vegan so I had no designs on her meal

Was also able to walk around shopping centre quite easily without wanting to sit down. We went to see Bridget Jones's Baby which was hilarious, and stored a happy memory of one of our rare times together, not knowing if/when the next one will be as she is off to live in New Zealand today.

Was at a conference yesterday (had gone prepared with my own food) as I knew most of it would be sandwiches. I happily ignored them and the cake, but the sausage rolls looked amazing, but I resisted...

Went for a longer walk on Thursday with a friend and managed a few hills (slopes) without as much effort, but have been struggling with dizzy spells, indoors and out. It could be blood pressure which is now being monitored, or it could be vertigo, but it is very disconcerting

Have ordered some more short sleeve t-shirts in two smaller sizes and smaller knickers. Need to declutter the wardrobe again!

Finding drinking easier now so not as dehydrated as i was, but have developed very sore gums, which is probably down to some mineral deficiency. Have dentist on Thursday anyway so can discuss this with her.

My dietician wants to keep me on Forceval (yuk) and i have only just realised you have to leave an hour after food before taking it duh! I normally take all vits when I have my breakfast, and waiting 30 mins before a drink is bad enough but having to remember to wait another half hour before the Forceval is going to be a real pain in the arse, as i am thinking about or doing other things by then...

Putting my feet up today for a well earned rest

Well done - I stayed at 20 stones for about a year - it was while I was waiting to be approved for the op and it took me a whole year to go from 20 st 3 to 20st. I felt I would never get there. And then I stayed there until started the pre-op diet, so I well remember the feeling when I dropped to the 19's - not so very long ago now.
I have had issues with light headedness too. When I was in hospital my blood pressure dropped so low they were really worried and I dot put on a very fast drip and kept in another night. When I went back to see the dietitian for the post op visit she still had difficulty finding my blood pressure at all. Now if I get light headed I drink more and halve my bp meds for that night. I am hoping they will reduce them soon.
Yuk to the forceval! I have finished taking it now and its just as well, because it made me feel so sick.
It is wonderful seeing the changes - I have moved into size 24 and 22 jeans now. Not bad when you think it was size 30 beforehand. Hope it continues to go so well for you.

 

[SAM55]

Well done - I stayed at 20 stones for about a year - it was while I was waiting to be approved for the op and it took me a whole year to go from 20 st 3 to 20st. I felt I would never get there. And then I stayed there until started the pre-op diet, so I well remember the feeling when I dropped to the 19's - not so very long ago now.
I have had issues with light headedness too. When I was in hospital my blood pressure dropped so low they were really worried and I dot put on a very fast drip and kept in another night. When I went back to see the dietitian for the post op visit she still had difficulty finding my blood pressure at all. Now if I get light headed I drink more and halve my bp meds for that night. I am hoping they will reduce them soon.
Yuk to the forceval! I have finished taking it now and its just as well, because it made me feel so sick.
It is wonderful seeing the changes - I have moved into size 24 and 22 jeans now. Not bad when you think it was size 30 beforehand. Hope it continues to go so well for you.

Thanks Penny.
Never mind "not bad", its brilliant. I was a 32 before I started the pre-op and went into 28's a couple of weeks ago. They are already looser so will need to think about getting some 26's in ready. Looking out for Evans' special offers on petite indigo bootcut. Don't want to risk other makes as I am having problems with other clothes items being different for the same size.

I too had low blood pressure first night and took no meds in hospital, or for a couple of weeks when I came out as I didn't want to risk it happening again. My blood pressure was checked once by the district nurse, but normally whoever turned up (even the doctor who came to check my green gunge wound), didn't have a large cuff with them so I wasn't sure.

I got GP to check it last Monday (he too couldn't be bothered to look for his large cuff which was attached to the automatic machine, as he wanted to use the old fashioned 'black bulb' which he prefers and the normal size one fitted!! It was 140 something with no meds for a week, as I had stopped them a week before when the dizzyness started if I moved in in a different direction. He was happy with that but suggested I went back onto 1 instead of the prescribed 2 Lisinopril, which i did for a couple of days, and then had the dizzy spell when I was out walking. I tend to list to the right which makes me think it could be vertigo (I knew it wasn't low sugars due to lack of food, as I am used to knowing what that feels like) as I have suffered before, although normally after a virus. Have stopped the Lisinopril for past two nights and it seems to have stopped. I am seeing him again on the 14th November so will ask if I can borrow a sphig for a while to check it myself.

I still have the 'pleasure' of the hospital dietitian to come as they sent me an appointment for this week but at a very early time, despite it saying on my records not to send me early ones because of the distance i have to travel, and I refuse to get up at 6am. The next one they could offer me was 23rd November!! She has also stopped ringing me which is good as she always rings at an unknown inconvenient time when I have my mind on other things, and says 'is there anything you want to ask me?'

Hopefully you will be off the meds very soon.

 

[SAM55]

Was able to put socks on today without a Soxon, so another moment to celebrate.

 

[SAM55]

Have just made the teens on my weekly weigh in. It was eight years ago since I was that weight.

Had hoped it would have been last week as i was nearly there but not quite.

It has been an exhausting week physically and emotionally but have not wanted to stuff my face to kill the emotions or try to raise my energy levels. Could have really done with a stiff drink last night though!!!

Ate out for the first time on Tuesday when I met up with my daughter. Played very safe as I was only into second day of eating proper food and had a child's portion of cottage pie and baked beans - didn't want to be puking in public, although happily so far puking has been off the menu I refused the chips that went with it so they slopped on extra beans before I could stop them, which I didn't manage. She is vegan so I had no designs on her meal

Was also able to walk around shopping centre quite easily without wanting to sit down. We went to see Bridget Jones's Baby which was hilarious, and stored a happy memory of one of our rare times together, not knowing if/when the next one will be as she is off to live in New Zealand today.

Was at a conference yesterday (had gone prepared with my own food) as I knew most of it would be sandwiches. I happily ignored them and the cake, but the sausage rolls looked amazing, but I resisted...

Went for a longer walk on Thursday with a friend and managed a few hills (slopes) without as much effort, but have been struggling with dizzy spells, indoors and out. It could be blood pressure which is now being monitored, or it could be vertigo, but it is very disconcerting

Have ordered some more short sleeve t-shirts in two smaller sizes and smaller knickers. Need to declutter the wardrobe again!

Finding drinking easier now so not as dehydrated as i was, but have developed very sore gums, which is probably down to some mineral deficiency. Have dentist on Thursday anyway so can discuss this with her.

My dietician wants to keep me on Forceval (yuk) and i have only just realised you have to leave an hour after food before taking it duh! I normally take all vits when I have my breakfast, and waiting 30 mins before a drink is bad enough but having to remember to wait another half hour before the Forceval is going to be a real pain in the arse, as i am thinking about or doing other things by then...

Putting my feet up today for a well earned rest

Nearly puked for the first time this morning after the Forceval

 

[Penelope]

Thanks Penny.
Never mind "not bad", its brilliant. I was a 32 before I started the pre-op and went into 28's a couple of weeks ago. They are already looser so will need to think about getting some 26's in ready. Looking out for Evans' special offers on petite indigo bootcut. Don't want to risk other makes as I am having problems with other clothes items being different for the same size.

I too had low blood pressure first night and took no meds in hospital, or for a couple of weeks when I came out as I didn't want to risk it happening again. My blood pressure was checked once by the district nurse, but normally whoever turned up (even the doctor who came to check my green gunge wound), didn't have a large cuff with them so I wasn't sure.

I got GP to check it last Monday (he too couldn't be bothered to look for his large cuff which was attached to the automatic machine, as he wanted to use the old fashioned 'black bulb' which he prefers and the normal size one fitted!! It was 140 something with no meds for a week, as I had stopped them a week before when the dizzyness started if I moved in in a different direction. He was happy with that but suggested I went back onto 1 instead of the prescribed 2 Lisinopril, which i did for a couple of days, and then had the dizzy spell when I was out walking. I tend to list to the right which makes me think it could be vertigo (I knew it wasn't low sugars due to lack of food, as I am used to knowing what that feels like) as I have suffered before, although normally after a virus. Have stopped the Lisinopril for past two nights and it seems to have stopped. I am seeing him again on the 14th November so will ask if I can borrow a sphig for a while to check it myself.

I still have the 'pleasure' of the hospital dietitian to come as they sent me an appointment for this week but at a very early time, despite it saying on my records not to send me early ones because of the distance i have to travel, and I refuse to get up at 6am. The next one they could offer me was 23rd November!! She has also stopped ringing me which is good as she always rings at an unknown inconvenient time when I have my mind on other things, and says 'is there anything you want to ask me?'

Hopefully you will be off the meds very soon.

The old-fashioned sphygmomanometers are far more accurate! I hope to be off the meds soon, but in my experience my doctor is really relucatant to stop anything! Still, here's hoping!
Well done on the socks, = I can do the laces on my trainers myself now! Small victories, but every step towards independence is good in my books.

 

[SAM55]

The old-fashioned sphygmomanometers are far more accurate! I hope to be off the meds soon, but in my experience my doctor is really relucatant to stop anything! Still, here's hoping!
Well done on the socks, = I can do the laces on my trainers myself now! Small victories, but every step towards independence is good in my books.

Wow, I am impressed you could spell it, I couldn't My doctor can't wait to get me off things so it reduces their meds budget!! When he is looking for a different med. he always looks to see what it costs which makes me feel very guilty, although that is not his intention.

Loads came off the list on Monday so both of us were pleased.

I bought some trainers last year but struggled to bend done and get my feet in, never mind do up the laces. I tried magic ones but even then it was still a struggle, so I put them in a cupboard. I live in Crocs - holey ones and fur lined ones. You have reminded me though that i have them so will dig them out to see how I get on now. Thanks

 

[SAM55]

Went back to hydrotherapy for first time today. Two months since I last went. It was lovely to be back in the water, which was nice and warm (I only have a shower at home). Today was a DIY exercise session as opposed to Wednesday's taught one, so could pace myself. Was fine doing leg exercises, but I always like to have a short swim at the end. Really struggled with that as my arms didn't have the strength to propel themselves (its usually the other way round), and became very breathless. Was glad to get out after 40 minutes. Have obviously lost some muscle mass in my arms. Now feeling pooped and hungry.

 

[FeeBee]

I love swimming and hydrotherapy, it's the only time I'm pain free but it does seem to be something you lose your resilience to very quickly so I know that feeling of exhaustion well. The important thing is you went back and it will get easier and well done you x