Should I change my mind?

[Craftyfox]

My Gastric Bypass is booked at the Manor Hospital, Walsall for the 17th January 2009, I've started my liver reducing diet and now I'm having second thoughts because my wife and my eldest son think I should not go through with it, they're scared I might die, but my youngest son says I should take the gamble.
My story's similar to everyone's, I'm aged 59years, diabetic, have blood pressure, knee pain, back pain, breathlessness and I'm 28 stone. I've been on every diet imaginable.
I really want to be a normal weight but is the price worth it? I can't make my mind up.
You see I've searched the forums on various sites and everyone who has had this operation seems to have other difficulties, yes they've lost weight but they're vomiting all the time or they're constantly tired or still trying to find foods they can keep down.
I can't make my mind up as to whether their happy that they had the surgery or not.
I expected to have the pain and discomfort for two or maybe three months but gradually things would get back to normal, except I wouldn't be able to consume as much food as before and I would have to take the vitamins.
However people seem to have so many other problems with their digestive systems a long time after surgery, not related to the quantity of the food but all food, even in small amounts.
Is there anybody out there that can reassure me please?

 

[hopelesscase]

hi crafty
i can only speak of my own experiance and here is a link to my journey
http://www.minimins.com/surgical-weight-loss/65945-start-new-me.html
i can honestly say it is the best desision i have ever made and apart from being sick once when going from pureed food to mush stage(had turkey and it was too dry) i have been absolutly fine.
wishing you all the best
hc

 

[lottietat]

Hi CraftyFox,

I had my bypass nearly 8 months ago, and it is the best thing I have ever done. I have had no problems whatsoever, never been sick and can eat absolutely anything, but just not the quantity. My problem prior to my bypass was the quantity of food I was eating, so the operation has fixed this exactly.
There are risks with any operation, but there are risks just walking down the road.
I think a big thing is the surgeon you choose. I had Basil Amorri who is said to be one of the top 3 bariatric surgeons in the world! I was in hospital 2 nights and then was home. I was uncomfortable for a couple of days, but after that, it has been fine.

I am now 6 stones 10lbs lighter and have about the same amount again to lose, but I am confident that I will do it and the way I feel now is amazing.

Go for it, your health will improve 100% and you will feel more positive about life.

Good luck and keep us informed.

 

[Sambucca]

Hi Craftyfox

I can understand your family having concerns - they love you after all, but there are risks associated with any operation. Being obese carries its own risks as all of posting here already know.

I too am hoping for WLS at Walsall Manor but I am a good few months behind you. Mr Khan is one of the countries leading bariatric surgeons so you are in safe hands, or as safe as possible.

No one can make the decision for you. You have to do what is right for you. Presumably if you are at this stage you have tried all other means of losing weight and for one reason or another they havent worked.

If you follow the "rules" with regards to what you can/should eat and the quantities allowed you should be fine. It might just be my perception but when I have read of people being sick or in pain or whatever it seems to be because they have pushed the boundaries. Im not trying to offend anyone by saying that but those that seem to follow the "rules" to the letter seem to have the "easiest" weight loss journey.

Good luck with whatever you decide. If you do have the surgery I will be waiting to hear how you get on. x

 

[Frosty]

Hi ya

What you need to ask your self is . how long will you live at your current state of health.
Then talk through it with the family members who dont want you to have it.

Because once you say no and a couple of years down the line it will be too late if you start getting ill.

Yes there is a risk but there is to everything. If your son had an accident and needed a operation would you refuse him it becuase it holds risks.

I for one knew i would die before my time if i didnt do something,
Plus the fact everyday was a grind.
so this got me to the place where i asked myself. do i take this very very small risk and live my life, or do i take no risk and carry on with the grind.

As for the post op problems they are so small and short lived its not worth bringing them into the factor. yes you do get sick early stages , within 9 months everyhting is fine.

And dont forget at the end of it all .. It's you & your life dont make others make your mind up for you.

But i wish you all the best

Mark

 

[Alia]

Hi Crafty and welcome to the forum.

Obviously the desicion you make should come from you. I do understand the worry that your family have for you but when you weigh up the odds I'd say your chances were better having the op than not having it.

I was more than 30 stone when I had my bypass 6 weeks ago so faced a good chance that there might have been problems. There were none. My surgery was a bit more complicated due to this being my second wls and my surgeon had to correct what mess was there from the last one but even with that I had a very quick recovery and can honestly say its been a dodle.

I had open surgery so had to deal with a long line of staples which can make recovery a bit more difficult but I was fine. I had my surgery on the wednesday afternoon and by saturday morning i was lying in my own bed enjoying every one doing everything for me.

The benefits for me out weigh any problems I might have had. Prior to my surgery I had severe back pain, knee pain, I was constantly out of breath, could hardly shower myself plus a whole host of other things. At 35 years old I was pretty much a recluse, staying in my room all day and not having a life.

6 weeks on and what a difference. I've lost 51 pounds and feel fantastic, I can't imagine how I'll feel after I've dropped the next 50. I'm so much more mobile, in a lot less pain and can do so much more for myself. Clearly I realise I have such a long way to go but I really advise you to have your surgery. These operations are not done lightly and if you don't take your chance now you may never get another one. It is a scary experience but well worth it.

Once your weight becomes really high the chances of you actually losing weight and maintaining that loss are very low so being realistic to get that normal weight that you dream off I think you need to do this. You are diabetic and I've heard so many stories of the diabetes disappearing after weightloss from the surgery. Have the op and then start a new life.

Of course this is just my opinion and you have your own mind to make up. I just wanted to share my story with you and hope that you make the right desicion for you.

Alia

 

[Loll]

Hi Crafty. The operation was one of the best things I have ever done. The main reason I had mine done was due to a back problem, which I can say now; 3 and a half months and 5 stone 2pounds later has greatly improved. Although I was very healthy apart from the back problem that would not have lasted long. Friends and family will be worried about the operation but they also need to worry about the long term effects of being overweight and the quality and quantity of life. I was tired for the first three months but that has evened it'self out and i'm back to my lunatic self , don't have any digestive problems, I can eat anthing but in small quantities. I didn't have any pain after the operation (only wind) but I stuck to the instructions I was given. For me it was a gift of quality of life. As Frosty said it's your life. No one knows how you feel about your weight only you. Look forward to your op as a new start and start planning all the things you will do once that weight starts coming off. All the support you need is on this site. Good Luck

 

[shelbell]

Hi Crafty,

Another one here with no long term problems. Very few short term problems too! Only been sick a couple of times, no pain after discharge, and eating a good variety of foods now quite happily.

My stories on my blog, the link for which is in my signature.

HTH

Shel

 

[Silversurfer]

Hey Crafty
Some good advice here from the guys, should also point out the being sick bit isn't like being sick pre op, its more like regurgatation rather than being sick, and only happens if you over eat, in fact if i push my pouch it feels uncomfortable and i go and make myself regurgatate a bit then its more comfortable (probably not the right thing to do but it works for me), though the further along i go the more i'm learning how much to eat in one sitting and therefore its rare now that i'm sick !
Everyone's different and has slightly different complications too, but as frosty said the pains and issues are really nothing compared to feeling of dropping serious amounts of weight !
I'm nearly 5 months post op and my lifes pretty much back to normal, i can drink alcohol, can drink coke and fizzy drinks, eat chocolate and sugary foods as i dont dump, eat a chinese or indian and i'm pretty much back to being able to eat anything, except now its in smaller portions than pre op ! and i've lost 8 stone.

Downsides of rapid weight lose for me - the amount of clothes i'm going through, i seem to drop a waist size every 2 weeks

Good luck with your decision

 

[phatgirl]

Hi, I am yet another person with no problems after surgery. I am 9 weeks post op and had very little pain from the surgery. I have found that I can eat whatever I like in moderation. I make healthy eating choices and find that I am happy & satisfied with them. I have never been sick. I have lost 4 stone and have stopped my metformin (diabetic) because I don't need it anymore. Surgery has got to be one of the best choices I have made in my life and my reward is that I get to live my life to the full now!

To be brutally honest (hope that is okay), with your age, weight & medical conditions (hypertension & diabetes) you are really in the walking time-bomb category for health risk without surgery. This surgery will in all actuallity save your life and give you years more time with your family.

Best of luck & hope that you make the choice that you think is best for you. It is your life. Make the most of it.

 

[charliegirl]

I had my bypass 8 weeks ago and I have more energy now than I ever had before, yes I have bouts of feeling sick, I always had an iffy tum before hand though and like Richard said if you are sick it is nothing like before....its sometimes just that one extra mouthful. It takes a lot of learning to get the amount just right but just think of how it will improve your medical conditions that you have now....I would always advise people if they have the option to take it...xx

 

[tesmaralda]

hi i cant offer any post op advice but woud like to add that i too am waitin for surgery at walsall and there mortality rates are better than the national average and those that have been unfortunate have been so because of other medical issues not from wls (this is what i was told at my meeting with dr hartland). I think your family are worried fro you but maybe dont realise the implicaations of being overweight far out weigh those of wls. But the important thing is you need to make the decission and not your family and if you dont do it because they have said no you will regret it for the rest of your life. You have got this far and i think every one has had some wobbles pre surgery and most of us waiting will too.
Maybe if you sat down with them and explained what a day living your life is like ie the breathelessness the none existence of self worth or self importance the self loathing and not fitting into society and that this really is teh alst chance for you to do something before dying prematurely maybe they might see how selfish they are being by asking you not to have this op. Hope this helps a little.

 

[Sambucca]

great post T, Tried to rep you for it but I have to spread it around before giving it to you again apparently lol

 

[Sambucca]

Just to add to what the others have said, If you are finding it difficult to explain to your family why you want and need this surgery, you should show them this thread.

Good luck in making the right decision for you x

 

[tesmaralda]

thanks sam i must have been having a strange moment yesterday cause that was very deep lol

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Hi
I have not had my suregry yet and will be having the band (I very much hope) as I feel teh bypass is too drastic for me. I weigh just over 19 stone and have a bmi of 45.
I sometimes think what the hell am i doing i dont need this, i just need to lose a bit of weight but if it were that easy i woudl be thiner.
I need wls for these reasons :
I have a young family, I love them I wasnt to be here for a very long time to come, my youngest is 13 months !!
I love my hubby and he loves me no matter what thin fat ugly pretty, I just want to be thinner to be in love with me too.
I want to look forward to summer months.
I want to be able to run around after my kids
I want energy
I want my knees and ankles to stop aching
I just want a life that I feel being fat is not letting me have
I deserve it.
I have tried everything and there is something that can still be done for me so come on and thank you x

 

[WeightlossWannabee]

Hi, Crafty Fox,
I'm so glad you started this thread. I'm not as far advanced with my journey as you are - I haven't been referred yet, but like you (or your family), I have concerns about the implications of surgery. My referral (if I get it) will also be to Walsall Manor under the care of Mr. Khan. I do feel it's probably the right thing for me to do - I am nearly 50, have a BMI of 43, high blood pressure and high cholesterol, BUT I'm simply 'plain scared'. The responses you have had to your question have really helped me to put my own concerns into perspective - thanks. The contributers to this site give such good, sound advice. The support is absolutely fantastic. I thank my lucky stars to have 'found' it. Ultimately, the decision must be yours and I'm sure you will get all the support you need from this forum. If you do decide to go ahead I'll be really interested to hear how you get on.
Good Luck

 

[tesmaralda]

dont get me wrong i have also been scared and when i was told i had funding was shitting a brick read my blog for a more detailed explaination but i know that if i dont do this sometime this year my daughters my husband and me will suffer. I just keep telling myself it will all be worth it so i just keep thinking about the benefits and when i have a bit of a wbble i just come and read how peoples lives have changed because of wls.

 

[Brunetteandred]

Good replies here.

The only thing I would add is that there are far more people out there who have had the surgery than post on forums and so I wouldn't mind betting that the proportion of people who have problems post-op is much less than we read on the forums.

I too am pre-op (Walsall Manor) and my immediate family & I are anxious; it's a human thing to do, but Terri is right. Explaining to your family how the way you are now affects your quality of life will be helpful.

Best of luck and keep talking.

 

[waynetta]

Hiya Crafty Fox, I too am waiting for my bypass at Walsall Manor and I think of it like this, It's a second chance in life and you are very lucky to be offered it. So embrace this opportunity with both your hands, have the op and get on with your life with your wonderful wife and family, who care very much, but are just frightened. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you are brave enough to go through with it. We are all in or have been in your position and it is scary. The last thing you want to do is cancel it, then regret it for the rest of your life. Thinking of you. x