SUGGA!!!!! ITS MY JOURNEY XX

[sugga]

Hello all, I thought it might be the right time to take up my own little space on here, a space where i can come to for support, advice, help, to cry, to moan and to shout from the roof tops with happiness whichever the case may be lol.

My name is Sugga as you are all aware and thats the name i will be known as, but for those who know my other name then that is fine too.

I joined this site in June i think it was and i just stumbled across it whilst doing some research about weight loss surgery. That was a lucky day for me as iv barely missed a day since joining.

I have been over weight all my life and went on to have 4 beautiful children in spite of this...........i am truly blessed. Life hasnt been kind to me at all to be honest and even though i regularly get told that i am such a strong person and that i deserve a medal it means nothing.

I have been strong not because iv wanted to be but because i have had to be.

I am envious of anyone who does not have to be strong........... of anyone who has someone to take over when the going gets tough.............. and envious of anyone who has a shoulder to cry on............. when the times are so lonely that i only have God above as my friend and saviour.

I agree i am a strong person.

I am incredibly independant and manage amazingly in my life and i know that i am the envy of others who are weak and are dependable on others, i get told that all the time, but it doesnt make it all right though.

I ended my marriage in 2005 which resulted in me crumbling and crawling into a big hole where i stayed for a long time. The effects and events will stay with me for a lifetime i think, but i have faith or i would not be here today. I am completely over it now.


I was offered the option of wls during a visit to my doctor way back in January and to be honest i was gob smacked that she even mentioned it.

I went home to think about it and found an excitement that stayed with me all evening.

Two days later i went back and told the doc to refer me for wls i was elated.

Well here i am waiting for surgery on the 6th January.

Im strong but weak in a sense, if you know what i mean, because i worry all the time which is a result of stress and life. The past 5 years has taken its toll and when depression sets in and you feel so alone that you dont want to step a foot outside your front door then the weakness shows.

I am looking so forward for my surgery, in fact i am actually craving this new life that i am so fortunate to have been given.

Thank you God.

Everyone on here is amazing, and i thank you all for your time, your support and for being my friends xxxx

 

[Zionaka]

Hey Suuga (((hugz))) been waiting for your journal. LOOKING FORWARD to following your progress.

 

[Bev]

Thank you too Andrea and thank you for being you!

We love you just as you are, but goodness me 2011 is going to be a great year for you!

I haven't started a diary yet, but you have prompted me to think about it... since we'll be having our surgeries close together.

The good thing about writing a diary and looking at what you have written is that there is so much positive coming through from what you have written... a marriage ended can also mean a new start and a new beginning, as is your surgery...

Alongside a growing family and you have such a strong foundation to build upon.

We all have our weaknesses and vulnerabilities, so that's not really a weakness... but rather a way of gaining experience and strength...

Keep looking up and putting your hands together... I do and I know my prayers are heard and we do find the strength that we need, it certainly helps.

Good luck on your journey Angel... I look forward very much to following your journey and walking hand in hand with all the trials and tribulations that go alongside it...

We are going to get there... just wait until next summer... it's going to be one heck of a different story by then!

Loving hugs Andrea and wishing you well as always my dear Friend xxx

 

[dottychic]

Lovely start to your diary Sugga I know what you mean about "having" to be strong rather than wanting to be....I think theres a few of us on here who knows that feeling.
I bet you are so excited that your surgery is so close, I couldnt sit still for weeks before mine lol......I had all the normal nerves and what ifs but I knew instictinvely it was the right thing for me....I feel you are the same, just make sure you enjoy every minute, I hope starting your new life will bring you all the happiness you deserve XX

 

[sugga]

sob sob......thank you bev, zionaka, jac such kind words, im so grateful xxxx

 

[gaelic girl]

What a lovely open and straight from the heart post Andrea. I admire people who are strong cause they want to be that way.You sound as if you have come through some difficult times and your determination has got you here today. Your 4 children must be very proud to call you mum! Its hard being on your own i've been there and yes i am lucky to have a shoulder to cry on now. You are going to have a fantastic start to 2011 with your surgery and i wish you all the very best hun. Big hugs xx

 

[sugga]

Thanks Allie, the trouble is iv absolutely ruined my kids over the years and they have got used to that and no they dont always appreciate me, but i wouldnt change a thing xxxx

 

[lisa x]

Nice start to your Diary Andrea...I am so excited for you..

We have shared so many frustrations already....I relate to having to be strong Andrea..(((((hug)))))))

I cannot wait to hear more of how you are getting on...xx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Always here with a shoulder when needed.Strong; will get you through this journey hun.Maz x

 

[sugga]

You have a point there lovey lol xxx

 

[blueeyes]

Hi sugga,

what a lovely post! I can literally feel the excitement and the joy and hope from your writing!!

You should be proud of your independence, you are a lovely person and I'm sure a wonderful mum to your children.

I wish you all the very best for your wls journey and look forward to following your progress.

xx

 

[sugga]

Thanks all xxxx

 

[Chick1981]

Hey sugga I'm so glad u decided 2 start ur journal, ur not alone the way u r feelin I grumbled a few urs bk wen I had post natal depression I think that was a side effect 2 bein strong 4 2 LNG but I'm hopin wen I hav my op my life will become betta n I'll hav the energy 2 take on the world again cuz this extra weight is Makin me so tiered, watch out world wen it's gone cuz I'll b gettin my share of the gud times love n hugs babe xxxx

 

[sugga]

Charmaine the world had better watch out lol it will wonder wats hit it when us lot get out there ha ha. Thanks chuck xxx

 

[phatmomma]

Sugga, what an excellent start to your journal...

I hear you on the bit about 'having to be strong', i'm lucky to find happiness second time around but i cannot give up my strength, i'm too scared too...

Good luck on your journey, you deserve to be all the woman that you want to be and i for one will be watching you all the way xxx

 

[sugga]

Julie thanks chuck it means a lot xxxx

 

[Grace]

Hi Andrea. Fantastic start to your diary. I too am a strong woman. Yes sometimes it would be nice to be weak; but I bey you've been strong for so long now that it would feel alien to you if you did try.

And as someone else very wisely said, strong you will need to be to do well in this journey, because it's not the easy ride our dear friends in the pres would have us believe.

BUT I believe you have the right mental and emotional attitude to do VERY well indeed, and as well as that you have your secret weapon: your faith. I know I would be nowhere without mine.

Reading your diary has made me even more excited about meeting up with you pet. I'm looking forward to the New Year so much...and your New Year is going to be just awesome!

Lots of love

Grace xxx

 

[thinkbethin]

How lovely to read the first "chapter" of your diary. I look forward to reading the rest. You are a lovely lady whether it be because of your strength or your weakness's. You are who you are and you should be proud of that.xxxx

 

[sugga]

Thank you Grace and Gaynor x
To be honest i could write a book but to delve back into the past would take me away from the place i am at now in my life, and i need to be as focused and content in myself for me to be able to have my surgery and get through it successfully.
Anyway the snow is really bad here in Sheffield and its still snowing now. We are totally snowed in as many of you will be so another boring day indoors lol. At least i have you all for company, the heating is on but my worry will begin tomorrow when i start to worry about mum and her shopping xxxx

 

[nikster1975]

What a great post, you have such a great attitude to life and you can just tell that this is born to the life you have experienced....but this is a new journey and a chance to help shed that old skin you once occupied. I hope beyond hopes that you get everything out of life that you so deserve, you are such a lovely sole xxxxxx can't wait to help share in your joy and be there as a shoulder when i'm needed xxx