Well here goes with my diary I hope you don't find it too boring 
A few facts about me:
I had an extremely unhappy childhood for many reasons which I shall open up about eventually but for now just a few snippets!
I have been overweight the majority of my life have for the last 6 months found my situation intollerable. I say this because over the last year I have gained weight at a ridiculous rate. 2 years ago I lost 3 stone with the help of Reductil which I had of the internet at a cost of £120 a month. They were withdrawn from the market nand I have regained 4 stone in the last year.You name it I have tried it with differing success. I am your typical yo-yo dieter and each time I fail to keep the weight off and indeed put more on each time. I hovered around the 141/2 stone mark for years and then developed an overactive thyroid and my weight reduced to 12 stone in a matter of 3 weeks. I had a partial thyriodectomy and felt well for a while. After 12 months I had to fight tooth and nail to get prescribed thyroxine after becoming progressivly ill and gaining 5 stone. I am not going to sit here and say I never over eat etc because that would be a lie and if the one thing I love about this forum is I dont have to lie to you as you all know where we go wrong but none of us know how to control it. Correct me if I am wrong but I think most of us on here could if we wanted to pin down why we over eat as its all in our past. Something, someone, somewhere desroyed in us the ability to hit that cut off button with food.
FOOD GIVES ME A GREAT BIG HUG WHILE I AM EATING IT AND GIVES ME AN EMOTIONAL BATTERING ONCE I HAVE SWALLOWED IT. :banana dancer:
There I have said it....... This is life changing for me because you just dont tell people do you? This site has allowed me to do this and I feel like I have found friends in everyone on here so thank you each and everyone of you.:needhug: Being fat is one hell of a lonely place.
So enough emotional stuff for tonight for me as I am back at work in the morning and I have not lost any weight since I broke up 3 weeks ago despite vowing to. I am feeling a bit of a failure:cry:
Approached GP May 2010
Referral posted from GP June 2nd
Heard nothing so rang 4th Aug :8855:they said my letter had been lost in the system and gave me an appointment for 18th Aug
18th Aug saw Anna and Dr Heartland - best option bypass, Need to see Mr Kendrick and have sleep tests.
31st Aug am going to ring and chase up my appointments. don't get me wrong I will wait my turn and if its 2011 then so be it. BUT I want my appointments as I am nervous about the funding situation after the news headlines this week. I am not going to sit back and wait for Walsall to lose me again, this operation is way way to important to me to just sit and be forgotten. 4 months to get this far simply not on !!! So Carole Malone can stick that in her ugly self opinionated pipe and smoke it. Let her look after her and I'll look after me!
Night night God Bless and speak to you tomorrow. :zz:
A few facts about me:
I had an extremely unhappy childhood for many reasons which I shall open up about eventually but for now just a few snippets!
I have been overweight the majority of my life have for the last 6 months found my situation intollerable. I say this because over the last year I have gained weight at a ridiculous rate. 2 years ago I lost 3 stone with the help of Reductil which I had of the internet at a cost of £120 a month. They were withdrawn from the market nand I have regained 4 stone in the last year.You name it I have tried it with differing success. I am your typical yo-yo dieter and each time I fail to keep the weight off and indeed put more on each time. I hovered around the 141/2 stone mark for years and then developed an overactive thyroid and my weight reduced to 12 stone in a matter of 3 weeks. I had a partial thyriodectomy and felt well for a while. After 12 months I had to fight tooth and nail to get prescribed thyroxine after becoming progressivly ill and gaining 5 stone. I am not going to sit here and say I never over eat etc because that would be a lie and if the one thing I love about this forum is I dont have to lie to you as you all know where we go wrong but none of us know how to control it. Correct me if I am wrong but I think most of us on here could if we wanted to pin down why we over eat as its all in our past. Something, someone, somewhere desroyed in us the ability to hit that cut off button with food.
FOOD GIVES ME A GREAT BIG HUG WHILE I AM EATING IT AND GIVES ME AN EMOTIONAL BATTERING ONCE I HAVE SWALLOWED IT. :banana dancer:
There I have said it....... This is life changing for me because you just dont tell people do you? This site has allowed me to do this and I feel like I have found friends in everyone on here so thank you each and everyone of you.:needhug: Being fat is one hell of a lonely place.
So enough emotional stuff for tonight for me as I am back at work in the morning and I have not lost any weight since I broke up 3 weeks ago despite vowing to. I am feeling a bit of a failure:cry:
Approached GP May 2010
Referral posted from GP June 2nd
Heard nothing so rang 4th Aug :8855:they said my letter had been lost in the system and gave me an appointment for 18th Aug
18th Aug saw Anna and Dr Heartland - best option bypass, Need to see Mr Kendrick and have sleep tests.
31st Aug am going to ring and chase up my appointments. don't get me wrong I will wait my turn and if its 2011 then so be it. BUT I want my appointments as I am nervous about the funding situation after the news headlines this week. I am not going to sit back and wait for Walsall to lose me again, this operation is way way to important to me to just sit and be forgotten. 4 months to get this far simply not on !!! So Carole Malone can stick that in her ugly self opinionated pipe and smoke it. Let her look after her and I'll look after me!
Night night God Bless and speak to you tomorrow. :zz:
Im so pleased you feel able to be open on here .... Thats one of the great things about this forum! Good luck with getting your appointments and you are right about keeping on at them, they will "loose" you if you allow it! X
