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Telling the workplace

R

ReadyToDoIt

New Member
I work in a small all female/everybody knows everybody's business type of environment. The whole office is 'always on a diet' and their views of wls are quite obvious! Right or wrong, I just don't want to go down the path of telling them I'm getting the sleeve.

My doc said he would write a sick note stating I had haital hernia surgery. Did anyone else use this cover up story and can I pull it off? I'm an honest person and don't want to get tangled up in a story, yet I can't take judgment very well either so don't want to tell them the truth.

Not telling them anything isn't really an option; it's not that kind of environment and two weeks off work followed by rapid weight loss is going to arouse huge discussions around the office. How similar is recovery from a heital hernia surgery to VSG surgery, does anyone know?

Thanks for helping.
 
The lifestyle changes required to help recovery from a Hiatus Hernia are similar to that of a diet after VSG - smaller meals, eating 6 small meals rather than 3 big ones etc. (my Mum has one)
But there is an op for the hernia and the recovery time etc looks very similar. Check out the NHS guidelines.

Hiatus hernia - Treatment - NHS Choices

I can understand the want not to tell people what you have had done - especially people at work, but like you, I have a problem with telling an out and out lie.
I have shared my op only with family and a few trusted friends. I'm not working at the moment as I have taken a sabbatical from work but when I go back later this year, I am not sure that I am going to tell the "nosey bonks" in the office.
I will probably just tell them the truth albeit a light version - "I had a problem with my stomach and after some investigations and ops, I can't eat in the same way as I used to" and leave it at that.
 
I only told 1 person that I've had the op, well one person that knows me I am happy to tell strangers in shops restaurants etc, my fiance is the only one that knows, but I work from home online so I don't have any face to face contact with work mates, do whatever is best for you, good luck xx
 
I've only told my manager and team leader who happens to be my oldest friend and 1family member
I will be telling every one nearer the time as I frankly can't be bothered to have to remember a lie once it's done it's done
 
I sort of agree with you - I'm so flipping truthful and hopeless at lying, that I don't think I could manage it. I MIGHT tell a white lie along the lines of I am scheduled for the hernia surgery, but closer the time we discussed whether I wanted the sleeve "as he's going in anyway!". Hmmm...need to ponder this.
 
Look at it this way - it's none of works' business really. They don't need to know every little ailment we have and are pretty much clueless about the surgery we've had.

They make opinions and judge us, when that's exactly what we don't need. Family can be just as bad.

My advice is always to tell as few people as possible. Make life easy for yourself.
 
I told everyone and anyone. Never had a harsh word said. I am not ashamed therefore don't feel the need to hide the fact I have had surgery. Head held high!
 
I had a sleeve in October and only my husband, parents and best mate knows.
I chose not to tell anyone at work, even my manager - my sick note said abdominal surgery.
I work in a large office with 80+ people and just didn't feel the need for them to know my business.
After losing 7 stones people are only just noticing and commenting. I tell them most of the truth which is:
I restrict my food to around 1000 calories a day and avoid sugary foods and carbs
I exercise every day

So it's all true I just don't say I've had most of my stomach removed - no one has quizzed me, they just tell me I'm doing fab.
 
I'm not ashamed I wouldn't tell folks if I'd had a hernia op or an ingrowing toenail op either.
 
borogirl said:
I told everyone and anyone. Never had a harsh word said. I am not ashamed therefore don't feel the need to hide the fact I have had surgery. Head held high!
Click to expand...

I'm not ashamed either, I just don't feel the need to tell my employer every little detail of my life.

I've heard of some employers not paying sick pay for elective surgery. Why risk it?

Each to his or her own, of course.
 
I work in the local hospital in the operating theatres.

I have told my manager that I am in the process for wls and she was sought of ok ( she hasnt got much choice) I have told some close friends at work what my plan is and have had some what mixed responses from them.

I have had to tell more people than I would have liked to but as I work in the operating theatres where they do the bariatric surgery.

Also managed to chat with the surgeon I would like to see he said if i can get a copy of the referral and take it to his secretary then he will see me in clinic. I will take the copies in on thursday when i am in work again.

I can honestly say so far have had mainly positive responses from friends and my mum, I am yet to tell me dad ( even though I will 34 in a couple of weeks he is still protective!) and when i do tell my sister I think she may well have a rant at me for doing this.
 
Do whatever you feel happy with - at the end of the day this is about you (and you are perfectly entitled for it to be about you and nobody else).

I didn't make a point of specifically telling anyone but if anybody asked or commented I told them I'd had a bypass. Likewise if I was limping I wouldn't unsolicited tell anyone why I was limping but if they asked I would answer their question.

Except for from one person I've not had any negative comments at all - but then I'm lucky enough to work from home and mix with people I chose to mix with.
 
Lincs Lass said:
Do whatever you feel happy with - at the end of the day this is about you (and you are perfectly entitled for it to be about you and nobody else). I didn't make a point of specifically telling anyone but if anybody asked or commented I told them I'd had a bypass. Likewise if I was limping I wouldn't unsolicited tell anyone why I was limping but if they asked I would answer their question. Except for from one person I've not had any negative comments at all - but then I'm lucky enough to work from home and mix with people I chose to mix with.
Click to expand...

Exactly. This surgery has to be all about us. After all, it our bodies, our emotions and our decisions ultimately. We take the risk in the end, nobody else.
 
I told no one other than my hubby. We run our own business and the staff at work knew that I was having a hernia repair (true) but did not know about the sleeve, indeed my adult children also only know this. You can pull the eating and dieting off beautifully and then after the 12 week period of eating differently I chose to say that I was so chuffed with my weight loss that I was going to carry on eating small meals and only healthy foods. Really no one needs to know. Good luck.
 
Having had the surgery, Im now quite convinced that TWO of the people very close in my circle of friends have had weight loss surgery. It's never really crossed my mind that they have lost so much so successfully and turned around their bad habits with what looks like a determination of iron will. And if thats true, I shall be carrying on the very same way they have. I think that the REASON you are losing weight is STILL eating less, exercising more, and that the fact you also have a further TOOL to help you is no one else's business unless you care to share that fact! :)
I have no qualms about doing a Fern Britton! lol I shall be advocating exercise and healthy eating!
 
How are you feeling 5 days in ?
 
I have told just my direct manager who has been a total gem bless him. He said it would go no further unless it had to, eg if I had any complications. I can work from home for a few days this week before going back which is great too :) I think I will ease myself back into the office on Friday just before the weekend :)

All the best with your journey xx
 
I am in the precess of waiting for a date for my surgery, my clinical manager was ok with me when i told her what was happening before I had all the appointments, I bumped into the person who does my rota at work and she saito warn me that if I get a date for the op that in anytime in august that my clinical manager will get me to cancel it and get another one as there won't be anough staff to cover, ( i work in the hospital where the op will happen and we have staff that work term time only), I just wondered if there is anyway she is actually allowed to do that.

I am back at work next week so will try and catch the consultant and see what he says, I want this done sooner rather than later and don't want to another few months for a date when it does actually come through. He may be able to get me a earlier date I don't know
 
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