The Obesity Lottery

[Alia]

I was thinking about my family today, close and extended and wondered about the chances of being obese in my family.

Typically I'm the only really large person. My mum is only slightly over weight, maybe just a stone or so. My dad was never overweight, being trim all through his life until he passed away 5 years ago. My brothers are also slim, actually very muscly and work out alot. Further out than that into aunts and uncles, no one springs to mind as being fat so how come I was the one with this load to bear... what makes us the fat one, how come its us and not one of our siblings.

Now I'm looking at my children. As you know I have 6 children, 2 girls and 4 boys, age ranging 16 down to just 1 year old and again, 5 of them are slim and the eldest my daughter is following exactly the same path as I did. I really feel for her being the only overweight one in such a big family. Sadly when arguments occur the other kids know what buttons to press and use her weight against her. She like me has tried all kinds of diets, she's been to slimming world with me, we've tried calorie counting, she even tried the cambridge, even though she only made it till tea time. Now she is doing the slimfast diet and this is the most I've seen her stick at something and I'm so proud of her. She lost 8 pounds in her first week and 3 in her second and is really excited that she only has got to lose another 3 pounds this week and she is a stone down. Thats a huge achievment for her as she's never lost more than a few pounds before giving up. She has about 5 stone to lose and while thats a big amount compared to me its nothing and I keep telling her please do something about it now cause I dont want you to have the same struggle as I have had.

Again whats the odds on being the fat one in the family. I always thought that you could find a fat person in the family and that your chances are increased because of that.... for me that was n't true but for my daughter it is, I'm the fat one so does that mean I raised the odds for her being obese or what. I already blame myself for her being the size she is because I see myself in her... she does so many things that I used to do as a 16 year old....taking yummy stuff out of the kitchen and eating it in the privacy of her own bedroom...I'm always finding empty wrappers stashed all over her room etc.

It would be really interesting to read about all of your families and if obesity is a one off like it is for me or if its a trend carried through the generations.

My daughter is already asking for a gastric bypass cause she thinks its the answers to all her prayers. I took her to the GP a couple of weeks ago cause she wanted to get slimming pills off him and despite me telling her there is no way he would prescribe them she wanted to see for herself and of course he did n't, just told her what she already knew that she needed to embark on a life long change towards healthy eating as diets don't work.. this has to be a way of life and not just for a few months. I really feel for her cause all her brothers and her sister seem to be able to eat what they want and not put a single pound on. Every time I buy her 13 year old sister an item of clothing in a size 6 I can see the pain in her eyes wishing that it was for her. They share a bedroom and their size difference is always a cause for rows between them.

Seems she lucked out on the obesity lottery as I did... what is every one elses experience?

 

[phatgirl]

I have obesity all over my family tree, add to that growing up in a southern family (imagine gone with the wind, my mom's name is Scarlett) where fat is an actual food group & you have a recipe for obesity. Add further to that I grew up in a single parent household where dinner was McDonalds & Burger King often. Additional I grew up in the first wave of the mtv/video game generation (1980's) where all the kids planted their butts on the couch for 14-16 hours a day while snacking on crisps, soda & things full of high-fructose corn syrup. Those are just the biological & environmental factors that helped make me obese. That doesn't count my clumsy body that made me avoid exercise or my emotional attachment to food that goes way, way back. I sometimes feel like there was never any chance that I would be a healthy size. My father, his sisiter and both his parents were obese. My mother is obese now but was waif-like until she was pregnant with me. Her father was obese and so were many of his siblings. My half-brother and sister have both always struggled with weight and yo-yo up and down.

So I blame my obesity on a confluence of events ranging from environment, biology & my own propensity for emotional eating and lack of physical activity which has been life-long. I think I might have come out of the womb shouting 'who disturbed my nap & when can I eat again?'. I have been lazy, lazy, lazy all my life and I know that has contributed to my slow metabolism. Always hated sports & avoided them at all costs for fear of being embarrassed by my lack of coordination and portly body.

So that's me.

 

[charliegirl]

I have two sisters and whilst my mum carried a bit of extra weight my elder sister was always over weight compared to my sister and I who were very skinny when growing up. I first had to loose weight in my early 30's although this was only 2 stone at the time, I ended up being slim until I turned 40 when it slowly crept up on me. My elder sister went on to be very obese and now due to lack of mobility it has become worse. My middle sister has struggled on occasions to loose some weight but is now trim and doing fine. I started to really increase my weight and suddenly ended up at 17 stone by the time my op came around. I know if I had not had the op I would be 18 stone or more by now as my eating habits and the pleasure I got from eating had taken over. My daughter was a bit on the plump side until she got into her 20's when she slimmed right down but we put that down to her living with her then boyfriend and his parents and they waited on her hand and foot. House work is still an alien concept to my daughter, however, she did slim right down without any effort when she started living on her own. Sometimes I think it is in the genes without a doubt, the media does not help every single magazine we pick up shows stick think models or celebs and every one has a weekly must do diet. It all gives the wrong messages to us. I am coming up to three stone down so whilst still size 16 just now I feel so sexy and confident and I have never ever felt this good in my life. Sometimes the brain has to match the body if you know what I mean to get the all round feeling....and I thank god that I have it all....sorry if this sounds a bit mad I know what I want to say just not sure it came out right...lol..xx

 

[weight loss hopeful]

My mum and gran are both obese. Although they were both size 10 until they gave birth. I wasnt fat until my teens when i discovered emotional eating as i got bullied at school and wanted to blot it out. I became obese after my pregnancies. I think genes could have a lot to do with it, but its not solely to blame. Take care R x

 

[Alia]

Thanks for answering girls, these are really interesting to read and its amazing how genentics play a part to a certain extent but there are other external influences that attribute to our weight gain also.

I think one of my major problems as a child was that due to be overweight my mother banned anything nice and even at boarding school I was n't allowed to have puddings and was n't allowed anything from the school tuckshop. We all had 50p a week to spend on sweets but I was only allowed to buy stationary and any money I did n't spent was given back to me at the end of the term. Having things forbidden to me made me want them all the more and I'd find any way to get them and just ate them in secret. Cause of this I did n't forbid my daughter from having treats thinking this would be the answer but this still has n't worked for her... its a lottery as I said.

 

[serenitylove]

in my family im only fat child, my nan was obese years ago and was given anfetamine tabs from dr and lost it all and kept it off, my daughter is only 9 but heading the same shape wise as me at that age im being careful what she eats but from rembering how i felt being told to diet from 11 onwards and from having therapy the self esteme damage that done i will not be letting my daughter diet untill 16 , the new reports out say if they diet befor this they will yoyo diet for their adult life so going to try avoid it
i dont think our family has the "fat" gene tho as hardly anyone in the extended family big

 

[maxsmum]

Myself and three of my sisters are really big, the fourth is slim but eats alot of food then starves for a few days !! My mum and dad are big but they were slim when we were younger and its kind of crept up during their later years.
Both of my children are 'normal' sized and love to be outdoors (which I never did). Im hoping they are going to be ok as my sisters and I were all very slim until puberty, then all hell breaks loose!! I would hate for my children to go through the bad feelings for themselves that I go through with myself. My husband is v. big, which is my fault as I buy him rubbish to eat when I want it... it stops me feeling bad about eating it if we are both doing it !! (how mental is that!!).

Sorry for rambling but I just realised that no one in my family has a good attitude towards food at all..Got to 33 years old without seeing that...Good thread !!

 

[tesmaralda]

Most of my moms side have had weight issues all but 1 uncle have managed to stay slim. My nan was always on the round side until she had her first breast cancer. I think my downfall started when I left school and started work. At school I played in all nthe sports teams and was very active and as we were on a tight budget sweets, chocolate and biscuits etc were a luxury and for special occassions. My mom and step dad would have take out once a week and we had to sit and watch, so when I started earning my own money it was spent on the nice things in life. I then discovered alcohol and have always liked the sweeter alcohol and then I met my darlinbg husband and found food was a way to his heart. Had my eldest and after she was born developed an underactive thyroid which they treated as post natal depression for 2 years. Have yo yo'd for 8 years with slimming world and weight watchers to the point now they have no effect at all its as though my body has become immune to dieting. So as you say there are many contributing factors.