This is a terrible thing to say, but ...

[deeby]

Hi
With me it was the total opposite, my Mum is all for it, to the point where i almost feel she's frog marching me to operating theatre !
Im sure its because she's worried about my weight and is scared that ill have a heart attack or one of the other many weight related medical problems but in the back of my mind theres a nasty little voice telling me that she's embarrased by my size and thinks im disgusting.
Its probably all my own paranoia and it probably makes it worse as she's a size 12 and always has been.
i feel guilty even thinking these things but just cant stop that nagging feeling and it makes me feel horrible.
Dawn x

 

[Bev]

Hi Karen,

My view on this is, that the starting point is with yourself, you want this so badly, everyone else will reap the benefits as they see you emerge and start to flourish in your new body.

Like me, you won't be deterred from your goal and we have gone through so much to get to this point in our lives, when all else fails...

I think there can be a perception that surgery is best avoided... from some of our loved ones... but no one can prevent you from achieving your goal and you will do it!

Keep going Karen and keep positive, I know you will... Mum will see such an improvement I hope she embraces this in time.... just wait until this time next year!

Love and hugs always xxx

 

[slimmerkay]

I wonder if your mum feels guilty about your weight, or is scared that people will point the finger at her and blame her for having a daughter with an eating problem? So every time you mention the op she is reminded of her perceived failings as a mum.

I think this is the closest to the truth of it! I would never blame anyone but myself for my weight problem as I lost lot of weight in my early 20's but just put it all back on. There was only ME to blame for that - I was an adult. BUT, I wasn't taught good eating habits as a child. But then who was being brought up in the sixties/seventies. It was a different way of thinking then.

 

[seawaves]

J-Mo it was a terrible thing he said to me that was 20 yrs ago & when i think about that day tears still spring to my eyes, my daughter is 14 i would never say anything like that to her, i think in his own way he thought it would shock me into doing something it did i ate more!!!!