Toto's diary

[MrsPill]

I haven't posted much recently because we're trying to sell our house- not easy these days. Also, I'm trying to find a new job too so its been busy,busy,busy.
I've been struggling with losing weight over the past month since my holiday as there has been a significant decrease in restriction, probably due to me losing so much weight before. I've now lost about 63lbs which is not as good as some and better than others! Anyway, yesterday I had a visit to my dietician. After he had read my food diary for the previous week (they won't fill unless they have evidence of increased portion size and snacking etc) he said he reckoned I could drive a train through my band and promptly gave me a 1ml fill!! I'm now up to 7.5ml and that has taken me 10 months to get there with my providers.
This morning I can barely drink a cup of hot chocolate! Now that's a first! Bit worried about how its all going to work today at work but its great to feel full again. I've worked out that I can change how I cope with anything except real hunger. I can stop comfort eating, I can distract myself if I'm bored and looking for snacks but see if I've got that stomach growling hunger pangs its a total nightmare in terms of weightloss. Real hunger, for me, is something that I cannot ignore. Perhaps this is why Ive never really been that good at dieting. It really, really upsets me. It must be because of something that was taught to me when I was young I reckon. Both my parents were children during the war and the way they thought about food was different and i grew up with all our 'treats' being food-based. I'm not saying this is the only reason I overeat, I'm just saying its one reason. I hate being hungry.
Anyway, this fill yesterday seems to be doing its job and hopefully I won't feel as hungry any more. Hunger is awful when you're trying to lose weight and we're surrounded by fabulous food!!!

 

[JO28172]

Can't believe you have to prove what you're eating! Crazy! Still this should do the trick!! Even after my latest .25ml I find it takes 2wk to settle so take it easy! it may be tough going for a while but it will get you there. As I'm onto my last stone I thought it would be my last fill but my nurse said no, as my body continues to change, so does the visceral fat near the band and I may need tiny top ups say once per quarter to keep my band active. All still a learn even now. Good luck with the job/house and great to hear from you x

 

[MrsPill]

Thanks Jo. I was a bit worried about how tight it is today so reading that it takes a couple of weeks to settle helps me a lot. Thankyou.
I've never had to have liquids/mushies post fill ever! I'm struggling to get yoghurt down for lunch. Thank god!! 10 months to get what you guys have...I still like my nurse/dietician though....they're very helpful & nice. Got my yearly surgeons check up in July. Hopefully I'll be over the 70lbs lost by then. I still think of this as being for life & its not a race. Bit frustrating though when you see people at goal who got done after you!! Nothing against them....just hard when I could eat 3 courses no bother before! Oh well...thanks for your reply Xx

 

[JO28172]

Big learn these final few fills I find...but I definitely struggle as you are doing right now..all worth it

 

[flutterby1966]

Mrs P / jo, I have never had restriction like that; and I am wondering if I need a little fill, cos its not easy looking at calories all the time. I am going to give it a bit longer to decide though cos at some time I would love to be able to rely more on the band and the right food choices rather than counting calories. Oh decisions decisions ... Carry on plugging on ... You both can do it xxx

 

[miserable]

So pleased for you Mrs Pill.

 

[miserable]

Michelle getting to goal without experiencing such restriction is just admirable

 

[MrsPill]

You know something, having the band this tight makes me feel like I've wasted 10 months. It needs to be tight enough that you don't have to count calories I think. It needs to be tight enough that you have to think about how you're going to eat enough protein to survive & not how you stop yourself eating crap. Maybe it takes a while to change your head too..... its a total re-education isn't it!!