traumatic evening !!!

[helen144]

Hi all

Well this time tommorow i hopefully will be bypassed so excited but so scared , my new life starts tomorrow.

But what an evening have taken my 4 children to my mum and dads as they were having a BBQ for fathers day and my uncles birthday.

I have to be at Salford for 7am so all the children need to sleep out tonight , my 3 year ld son was unhappy and clingy and didnt want to stay at one of my sisters and he was crying in the back of mind im thinking god i dont want to leave him upset as it may be the last time i see im , how ever smal that risk is it is still a risk, so my other said he could sleep there which he was happy with , then my eldest started crying saying she was scared and please dont die mummy ........omg what can i say to that so much reassurance given and by this point me crying then my ther daughter started i dont want to sleep at grandmas aaahhhhhhhhh so i was feeling bad trying to please all of them whilst getting more and more upset about the whole situation , the more i cried the more my eldest cried .

So my mum starts stressing out now i said i have to just go and didnt feel like i had said good bye to my children properly and didnt get to say bye to my grandparents and sister .

On the way out i said to my dad i just waned to say good bye properly u know just in case something happens ..........
he said well this is al your doing your decision u wanted this u have to deal wih the consequences aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, so insensitive not i love you and good luck

and earlier in the day he said when is your op then i said tomorrow ....omg i cant believe he didnt know .

So i left sobbing hit the wall at my dads with the car and knocked it down and had to wave my sobbing daughter off.

I know im making the right decision i hve to do this but right now i feel selfish .

Helen xxxxx

 

[hopelesscase]

Helen children always know which buttons to press especially as they will of picked up on yr anxiety.
tomorrow will be the start of the new you . your children will have a mum who in a few weeks time will be full of energy, changing for the better by the day as your confidence grows, and will be able to get their arms al the way around you when they give you a hug.
your day is probably anxiouse and being male cant do emotion so has to be negative instead.
Hope the car is ok yr dad can rebuild the wall to keep his mind occupied or set him a challange that for every lb you loose he can replace the bricks lb for lb.
go ge some rest tomorrow will be here before you know it.
big hugs
carole

 

[candie]

Helen try not to worry hun, the kids will be fineYou need to think about yourself now.Good luck xx

 

[tesmaralda]

Helen I had the same thing with my 10 yr old but now 6 weks down the line she is so glad that I did it. As Carole said go get some rest and tomorrow is another day and it will all be worth it. As far as your needs go in the short term you do need to be a little bit selfish, but in the long term you and you're family will benefit hugely from this one moment of selfishness. You go girl and show them what you are made of and all the best for a speedy recovery x x

 

[tinkywinky]

Hi all

Well this time tommorow i hopefully will be bypassed so excited but so scared , my new life starts tomorrow.

But what an evening have taken my 4 children to my mum and dads as they were having a BBQ for fathers day and my uncles birthday.

I have to be at Salford for 7am so all the children need to sleep out tonight , my 3 year ld son was unhappy and clingy and didnt want to stay at one of my sisters and he was crying in the back of mind im thinking god i dont want to leave him upset as it may be the last time i see im , how ever smal that risk is it is still a risk, so my other said he could sleep there which he was happy with , then my eldest started crying saying she was scared and please dont die mummy ........omg what can i say to that so much reassurance given and by this point me crying then my ther daughter started i dont want to sleep at grandmas aaahhhhhhhhh so i was feeling bad trying to please all of them whilst getting more and more upset about the whole situation , the more i cried the more my eldest cried .

So my mum starts stressing out now i said i have to just go and didnt feel like i had said good bye to my children properly and didnt get to say bye to my grandparents and sister .

On the way out i said to my dad i just waned to say good bye properly u know just in case something happens ..........
he said well this is al your doing your decision u wanted this u have to deal wih the consequences aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, so insensitive not i love you and good luck

and earlier in the day he said when is your op then i said tomorrow ....omg i cant believe he didnt know .

So i left sobbing hit the wall at my dads with the car and knocked it down and had to wave my sobbing daughter off.

I know im making the right decision i hve to do this but right now i feel selfish .

Helen xxxxx

wishing you all the best. i know how you feel about saying goodbye to your children. the night b4 my op i wanted to hug my daughter and tell her i love her and be back soon, but being severely autistic she didnt understand. two days later home and sooo pleased to see her.
look after yourself and look forward to hearing from you soon.

 

[swizzlestick]

Oh Helen what a crap day! It was the last thing you needed.

theres nowt like a bit of support from your loved ones when you need it the most, your dad is probably worried about you, men have a way of saying the wrong thing when really they mean to say, I'm scared for you too. None the less regardless of whether he meant it or not, it still hurts.

Maybe a long drawn out goodbye with the kids would have made the situation even worse, the least fuss the better. You know what you might like to do, just write them all a little 'see you soon note' that they can be given tomorrow. Then everyone is in a positive looking forward 'place'.

How did you manage to cope going to a bbq, blimey, talk about adding too the stress, I bet you were starving!

Try get some sleep, you've got an early start Xx Phoebe

 

[thinkbethin]

Helen you made me cry reading this. Please don't worry sweetheart your Dad probably was just worried for you. Kids don't understand that you are doing it for them as well as yourself do they. they don't understand really whats you're having done so this plays on their minds. As for the wall "tough sh*t" it should have moved out of the way lol

 

[dreamofbeingslim]

:grouphugg:just wanted to send you this hug.

 

[Fashionably Late]

Sending loads of hugs your way!

 

[buglady]

hi dont you dare feel selfish about going for surgery at the end of the day you are doing this to have a better quality of life of your children they want a mummy that will be fit and able ,to keep up with them that will pass on good eating habits so they dont get it the posistion you are now in needing surgery! i know it will be tough at first but the time will wizz by and b4 you know it you will be back being their mummy! good luck for tomorrow youll be fine look foward to hearing from you soon!!! love alison xx

 

[twinklyhb]

oh helen wot a sh***y day sending you all the luck in the world for 2moro xxheather

 

[Snowcrystal]

Hi all

Well this time tommorow i hopefully will be bypassed so excited but so scared , my new life starts tomorrow.

But what an evening have taken my 4 children to my mum and dads as they were having a BBQ for fathers day and my uncles birthday.

I have to be at Salford for 7am so all the children need to sleep out tonight , my 3 year ld son was unhappy and clingy and didnt want to stay at one of my sisters and he was crying in the back of mind im thinking god i dont want to leave him upset as it may be the last time i see im , how ever smal that risk is it is still a risk, so my other said he could sleep there which he was happy with , then my eldest started crying saying she was scared and please dont die mummy ........omg what can i say to that so much reassurance given and by this point me crying then my ther daughter started i dont want to sleep at grandmas aaahhhhhhhhh so i was feeling bad trying to please all of them whilst getting more and more upset about the whole situation , the more i cried the more my eldest cried .

So my mum starts stressing out now i said i have to just go and didnt feel like i had said good bye to my children properly and didnt get to say bye to my grandparents and sister .

On the way out i said to my dad i just waned to say good bye properly u know just in case something happens ..........
he said well this is al your doing your decision u wanted this u have to deal wih the consequences aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, so insensitive not i love you and good luck

and earlier in the day he said when is your op then i said tomorrow ....omg i cant believe he didnt know .

So i left sobbing hit the wall at my dads with the car and knocked it down and had to wave my sobbing daughter off.

I know im making the right decision i hve to do this but right now i feel selfish .

Helen xxxxx

I think what you are doing is one of the most un-selfish things you will ever do.......because I bet you are not just doing for yourself!

Be kind to yourself...your children will be fine...you'll miss each other for a little bit....you'll be home before you know it.

Lots of best wishes for tomorrow and speedy receovery.

~hugs~

 

[iinklii]

You'll be out of surgery by now, but I couldn't go without saying something.

Wish you all the luck in the world and hope you are happily reunited with the little treasures very very soon