What Do I Tell Work Colleauges , and Managers

[newday]

Hi again,

So it's 15 days to the operation for my bypass. I'm excited and nervous. I am starting the pre-op diet tomorrow and have started to organise the things I need to bring and prepping for the post-op diet. I have told peops that I'm having problems with my gastric system and that I may need an operation. I'm worried that I will have to speak with occupational health on my return and the truth will all come out like some tabloid scandal. Lol. Our office just LURRVES a scandal. Would really appreciate some advice and insight into others' experiences.

X

 

[Bellydancer57]

Firstly if you have to see occupational health on return to work they have to maintain confidentiality. If they don't you will have a grievance.
You are at liberty to say nothing if you don't want to & refer the O/H to your doctor.
It is though always better to have them onside as a good O/H will field questions from your boss/ manager.
I actually said something similar about gastric problems until I felt ready to tell people. Funny though once I was post op & recovering I started telling everyone & now I'm a gastric sleeve bore LOL.

 

[newday]

LOL.
Ahhh! Thanks bellydancer. That made me chuckle. I hope to feel like that later after the op. I hate not telling the truth. The guilt is horrible. However, on the other hand, I feel unnecessary pressure...... It's really not the business of my colleagues. I know occ health need to act in a confidential manner. But how would you know they havent said anything really???
Did you give notice that you need to have an operation or did you just phoned on sick?

 

[Karlos]

i would tell your boss but stress the duty of care they have to maintain the bond of trust between you and they, and that it is your express wish that they tell no one the real reason for your absence. You could tell them that you would deem them telling your colleagues as a breach of the bond of trust between you and grounds for constructive dismissal, however that might just have an impact upon your future relationship LOL

That said if you really think that your colleagues won't realise the truth when you start shedding weight quicker than wet clothing you're living in cloud cuckoo land I'm afraid.
Because I wanted to make sure it went ahead before I let it out of the bag I told no one but my boss before I was chopped, once back at work I told the world and his wife. It disarmed the grapevine and allowed people to be honest with me, and me with them. The half truths about losing weight through diet and exercise were just to much like lies for me to be comfortable with them

The choice is yours and yours alone and if you decide to keep it private your boss has to honour your wishes or risk three days in court so worry not. Good luck with your choice and good luck with your operation x

 

[newday]

RIGHT! I'm going to tell my manager... I'm definitely going to tell her..... tomorrow morning. But I'm also going to warn her that under no circumstance will I hesitate to take her big mouth to court if she honours her urge to spill the beans to anyone that wants to know or listen. Incidentally, It also helps that she is leaving by the end of the week. Oh the drama! Yes Karlos, not sure I could justify the rapid weight loss although I have stepped up my gym attendance to four times a week! Sigh - the drama of it all. I feel very stressed.

 

[Bellydancer57]

I agree with Karlos. Thankfully I'm a freelance consultant so I'm my own boss LOL but as I said my big mouth told everyone post op , it was like an an evangelical experience for me
LOL but t least my choice. You make yours & good luck.

 

[terri.c]

Hi again,

So it's 15 days to the operation for my bypass. I'm excited and nervous. I am starting the pre-op diet tomorrow and have started to organise the things I need to bring and prepping for the post-op diet. I have told peops that I'm having problems with my gastric system and that I may need an operation. I'm worried that I will have to speak with occupational health on my return and the truth will all come out like some tabloid scandal. Lol. Our office just LURRVES a scandal. Would really appreciate some advice and insight into others' experiences.

X

i am in the same situation and work for a massive organisation, i have been to see my GP and told him i wanted my op to be confidential and he gave me a sick note with "post operative recovery" on it, your confidentiality has to be upheld x

 

[Paula Garner]

All of my colleagues at work are aware I'm waiting for bariatric surgery. Due to the heavy nature of my work, I thought it best to tell everyone. My boss has been absolutely brilliant, and is liaising with OH alongside me.

 

[newday]

Terri.c! I didn't know that could happen!!!!!!! Blimey!!! So have you told anyone at work? Anyone at all. Did u tell occ health? I work for a massive org as well where everyone is confidential but through the form filling and bureaucracy everyone knows everything! LOL. X

 

[newday]

Hi Paula. I wish I had a boss like yours. I have tried testing the waters by suggesting that I'm going try weight loss surgery if i dont shift my excess weight but the uproar that caused, 'oh you're not serious?', 'don't be stoopid', 'you are not fat', 'people who have WLS are lazy!' I had a massive argument with the person who made the last comment and now we hardly speak with each other. My BMI is on the low side for WLS and I am tall but the surgery will significantly help with the type 2 diabetes and generally prolong my life. I know what everyone is saying about being open but my organisation is a hard and somewhat ignorant crowd. Its not easy and I have shed a few tears due to their comments which have caused me heartbreaking confusion and anxiety. I've asked myself over and over again if I was doing the right thing. Ian envious and sincerely wish I was as strong as you. X

 

[Paula Garner]

At the end if the day you have to do what's right for you. If you want to keep it confidential, and there is a breach of that confidentiality, you can sue their asses. Ring your OH dept and have a chat with them xx

 

[shelleymarie]

I understand where you are coming from, I currently work in a very nice, friendly and open environment and everyone there knows and is supportive. I use to work in a huge office full of sharks, well that's the nice way to put it. I wouldn't of told them there if my life depended on it, I was an assistant to a lot of ex police and to say they were old school is an understatement. It's like everyone has said, it's totally up to you what you do and you have the right to complete confidentiality. I imagine people will talk if you don't tell them but in offices like that, people will talk anyway. Either way, do whatever will benefit you the most x

 

[mayamoo]

I told my manager and hr and only a couple of trusted friends . .however the urge to gossip appears to be high and the trusted friends had loose lips, no real harm done as the person they told is a good friend that I just hadn't had the chance to tell.

 

[terri.c]

Terri.c! I didn't know that could happen!!!!!!! Blimey!!! So have you told anyone at work? Anyone at all. Did u tell occ health? I work for a massive org as well where everyone is confidential but through the form filling and bureaucracy everyone knows everything! LOL. X

not told a soul, just said i had my gallbladder removed and my GP has stood by me x

 

[newday]

Mayamoo, that is what I don't think I can stand. People can be soooo opinionated. Don't get me wrong guys; it's not all doom and groom. I've told all my family and a couple of friends. They were so supportive and sincerely helped to consider the pros and cons of the procedure. They are not judgemental. I am grateful to them and to all on this site/forum who have taken the time to respond and share their experiences. Thanks to all of you! Xx

 

[newday]

not told a soul, just said i had my gallbladder removed and my GP has stood by me x

My surgeon, dietician and specialist nurse all said the same thing; I should say I have to remove my gallbladder. But... My GP is so grumpy and miserable. Hated the fact that I met the criteria for bypass. Had nothing positive to say. Not sure if she will back me up at all. What do u think? X

 

[Paula Garner]

You can always change your GP ?

 

[newday]

Hi!

So I spoke to my clinic about changing my GP. apparently I have to go in for a discussion!! But I had another appt at the hospital this afternoon and discussed the same with the team. Again, they were really supportive and stated that they will liaise with my GP about my sick certificate. If I should encounter any problems I should go back to the surgical. Fell much better about the whole thing. For now, I'm not telling anyone at work about the bypass until I'm good and ready! Xx

 

[wildchild]

I have only told the people who need to know in work at the moment. But when I return to work next week I 'm thinking of running a sweep stake. The one who guesses closest to my weight loss by Christmas takes the prizemoney which will be divided 70/30.The winner picks up 70% and a designated company charity will be given 30%.

This way there will be 2 good coarses (spelling) my health and the charity gaining.

Which will be far easier for me also as people will know I've had surgery for my health and it should stop the chitter chatter amonst them. Victoria x

 

[newday]

That's a fantastic idea!!!! Love it. When I'm ready I may do something similar. You're right - the event will cause a good deflection from the gossip and comments. X