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Why do people try and jeopardise their operations?
- Thread starter jaffa_cake
- Start date
Andrea73
Member
I have had a weight problem since I was 14 years old and have struggled for over 20 years attending numerous slimming clubs, lighterlife etc. I have also worked since I was 16 and paid my taxes but couldn't get a bypass on the NHS. I just didn't qualify. My only option was to take out a bank loan that I really can't afford but it was my only option if I wanted to live my life without food controlling me. I have not been perfect since I had my op but I do feel that I am having foods that a normal slim person eats. I want to live not still be controlled by food. I have lost just under 6 stone, I'm a healthy 10st 7lbs and a size 12. I have done all this by eating healthily but normal foods and having the occasionally treat. My bypass is my tool to being able to stop at one biscuit or whatever it is I fancy. Before I could have eaten a huge bar of galaxy now I don't even touch the stuff so I would say that is progress. Sorry if I rambled on a bit but I just wanted to share my story.
Mixman
New Member
I feel the same about some peoples comments that I read. The people that have the odd drink, when they're not supposed to, the ones that have bread then complain they are in pain.
What the difference is, is that I'm understanding enough not to say anything that might aggravate the situation. It's not that I'm a wuss or than I'm adverse to confrontation it's just that I'm understanding.
I understand that people come here for help when they don't know the answers OR they do know the answers but have made a poor decision. A lot of the time these people say things because they NEED a kick up the arse! That's what they post for, because it's a cry for help. A cry for punishment. Some people need this from time to time! That's why they use the forum. We are the ones that are supposed to understand!
And, like I said, I do understand that's why I don't comment negatively because if I do, and it stops that person posting a 'help' thread for fear of retribution, I wouldn't like myself!
What the difference is, is that I'm understanding enough not to say anything that might aggravate the situation. It's not that I'm a wuss or than I'm adverse to confrontation it's just that I'm understanding.
I understand that people come here for help when they don't know the answers OR they do know the answers but have made a poor decision. A lot of the time these people say things because they NEED a kick up the arse! That's what they post for, because it's a cry for help. A cry for punishment. Some people need this from time to time! That's why they use the forum. We are the ones that are supposed to understand!
And, like I said, I do understand that's why I don't comment negatively because if I do, and it stops that person posting a 'help' thread for fear of retribution, I wouldn't like myself!
keeley86
Well-Known Member
but in truth tho... its just like saying........ why do i still make spelling mistakes when i have had 16 years free intuition from the government...... at the end of the day s**t happens we should learn from our mistakes and get on with life, not sit there making people feel quilty because there mistake has cost the government money and like mixman says "that money is partly ours anyway because of the tax's we have paid"
I was going to say exactly that, but deleted it as I thought it might be too inflammatory
Kudos Mixman!
Private patients pay taxes too. Unfortunatly for me and many others to be considered for NHS funding where I live my BMI would of had to be over 60 as I have no co morbidities.
Its very frustrating that not all PCT's follow the NICE guidelines but for now thats just the way it is.
No one should feel guilty for receiving NHS funding it should just be more consistent and therefore fairer and more accessable for everyone who needs it.
Its very frustrating that not all PCT's follow the NICE guidelines but for now thats just the way it is.
No one should feel guilty for receiving NHS funding it should just be more consistent and therefore fairer and more accessable for everyone who needs it.
Neen
WLS Moderator
Thanks for your comments Mazza, well put for us who had no choice but to shell out cash we couldn't/can't afford in order to live as long as possible.
I would have loved funding and I have always worked and paid my taxes too...can't all be lucky can we? But I am sure the majority who are blessed to get funding are very grateful for it & good luck to us all however we come to be bypassed pr banded.
I would have loved funding and I have always worked and paid my taxes too...can't all be lucky can we? But I am sure the majority who are blessed to get funding are very grateful for it & good luck to us all however we come to be bypassed pr banded.
keeley86
Well-Known Member
well dont you think that is fair? people with co morbidities should come first as they are more at risk. like someone with sleep apneo for instance they cant breath at night or like me where as without surgery i will be blind in time, and people with arthritas that are house bound and cant manage just a few steps?
the people who have had it done privately should think themselves lucky as there is no way on earth i would be able to raise that kind of money, i couldnt even remortgage my house as i live in rented accomodation. if i could afford it id have had it 12 months ago with out a doubt
the people who have had it done privately should think themselves lucky as there is no way on earth i would be able to raise that kind of money, i couldnt even remortgage my house as i live in rented accomodation. if i could afford it id have had it 12 months ago with out a doubt
Mazza, I don't think anyone going for wls is undeserving, or that private patients are rolling in it (lovely picture though
). I know most have had to scrimp and save, I was just saying that because NHS patients didn't do that doesn't mean we're less entitled to making mistakes.I also think that this forum is and should be here for people to get help and advice when they're making mistakes regardless of which surgery they've had and how it was funded.
A huge factor in my secret overeating was guilt and shame so I'm sure others feel that way too - if we're ashamed of admitting to our failures or feel beholden to the 'mighty postcode deity' we'll just stuff them down with sugar/fat/carb laden junk.
I think most people would agree that funding should be available to those with co-morbidities.
However the point Mazza was making was more to do with the postcode lottery which is totally unfair. It is not fair that if people lived maybe 10 miles to the North or South of where they do live they could get funding at a lower BMI.
Its not fair that some have to remortgage their properties or go into debt to raise the funds for this life saving surgery, whilst others who live in a different area but have the same BMI are getting their ops on the NHS.
If the NHS had not been able to fund my op then I would not have been able to find the money to go private, but that's just my circumstances. I count myself extremely lucky that I did get NHS funding and feel awful for those who are deserving, but the PCT say no. However, people shouldnt be made to feel bad because they managed to find the money from somewhere.
keeley86
Well-Known Member
no, i agree - and vise versa! this thread started saying it doesnt matter if ppl jeopadise there operations if they have paid for it because its there money thats paid for it but them thats had it on the nhs shouldnt jeopodise it because it was free, thats how i took it anyway
i did take that wrong and i do agree with the post code lottery bit - there should be 1 pct for all!
i did take that wrong and i do agree with the post code lottery bit - there should be 1 pct for all!
Thanks Sam that is exactly what I meant @ Keeley of course people with co morbidities should be higher on the list but the NICE guidleines reccomend anyone with a BMI over 40 should be entitled and that just isnt the case - that is not fair. And like Sam said this can be down to which part of the county you live in and can vary widely.
I took it exactly the same way Keeley, and found it offensive to be honest that someone dare imply that in some way NHS patients are less deserving and should be grateful.
But I do feel bad for those for whom NHS funding was not an option.
keeley86
Well-Known Member
me 2! its not down to any1 to comment realli on peoples failings, its rude and arrogent and i do think that its bitterness that caused this thread to be wrote (my opinion) but there must be some reason why she was refused funding! now if it was because she lacks in co mobidities then fair enough but if it was because of the postcode lottery then she should take her bitterness up with someone else because it is of no ones fault on this site thats she was refused funding therefore she should not try to make people feel guilty because there op was free and they have there bad days, lol
gillabean
Really living now!
If staying at a sensible weight was easy for us addicts, we wouldn't have had to resort to surgery to fix us. Our heads don't change after surgery and it takes a long time for our brains to catch up with our stomachs. I made poor choices when I was newly out of surgery and paid the price: dumping and vomiting, but my brain now rules. I wasn't a saint before the op and I'm not a saint now that I'm 9 months post op, but I was fat for 20 years and the small indescretions that I now have are nothing compared to what I did before.
cazbandy
Bring on the Trumpets!
I am expecting to get some angry comments on here but its just something I have to ask!
Why do so many people eat something they shouldn't so soon after their operations? and I am mainly talking about NHS patients here!
"Why are you singling out people who had their operations funded by NHS? Anyone who has had weight loss surgery can have a bad day food wise. This statement in itself to me is slightly offensive. My funding was on the NHS and I have good and bad days. I am not afraid to admit that as this is my life I and I will live it as I see fit. The band inside me helps me control portion size. My surgeon has said time and again to me this is NOT a diet it is a lifestyle change and one you have to live with for a long time and to make it work, food now has to be about balance and normality. A calorie is a calorie, your body doesn't know if it was a from a biscuit or a slice of cheese and a cracker, it's just fuel. As long as you keep calories lower and exercise to burn it off, you can enjoy the occasional treat.
I would have never gone down this road otherwise...for me it was always about portion control as I was a binge eater of both savoury healthy foods and sweet foods too.
You cannot pigeon hole people...thats not fair. We are all indivuduals with our own considerations. If someone has had a bad day, we should offer a hand of friendship and help them through that, not judge of make them feel guilty.
Guilt got some of us to this point...guilt and issues about how we feel about ourselves and that food was our only friends when we were troubled. The operation does not act like an off switch...that is so daft to think so.
We took years to get ourselves into a mess, it might take a period of adjustment. Some cope really quickly and move forward but others don't cope so well with all the changes and old habits can return.
It doesn't mean they are wasting the tool they were given, just adapting to massive life changing event, and there are no timetables"
I'm not interested in stories about how you were costing the NHS more by the meds etc you were on, I am just so curious to know WHY when you have been given an operation on the NHS to you go against guidelines and your teams advice? It is no different to the likes of George Best being given the liver transplant and continuing to drink, why when you have been given the gift of a bypass/band do you continue to eat foods that caused you to get fat in the 1st place and that YOU KNOW could cause old habits to creep back in again
"Okay, if George Best was your dad, would you deny him a liver?????"
Private patients should know better aswell
"WHY???? Does paying for something out of your own pocket mean you are more intelligent???
but at the end of the day their op was paid for privately so if they want to jeopardise it then so be it its well for them that have money to burn but when so many people get their funding turned down etc do you think its fair that those who allow old habits back in and start on the downward spiral of putting on weight again should continue to cost the NHS money?
I dont post alot on here but I do spend some time reading through old posts and the amount of times I have read about people having bad days and just eating whats infront of them is just mind boggling!
"To you, this is your view. What about the person who on that day when they make a bad choice is in conflict and feels bad, they probably don't like that feeling and is made worse by most of your post as you have added a whacking great dollop of guilt and guilt is destructive. I prefer the non judgemental, help them through it approach."
I also know we are only human but at the end of the day you swore blind to your team that you would follow their guidelines and do as they say, if you were to tell them before your op that you might have bad days and eat things you shouldn't risking pouch damage etc...do you think they would give you the operation...I doubt it!!
"I was honest with my NHS surgeon that I wanted to have a normal realationship with food after the op and be able to have the occasional freedom to have something nice, he said thats fine as long as you don'y go mad and that you work it off wth exercise"
I really hope people dont have a go at me, its something that I have wanted to ask for weeks and here is the only place I am able to get an answer
"I think you should be more wary of how you came across. To me it sounded snobbish and judgemental and it upset me as I had operation on NHS"
Why do so many people eat something they shouldn't so soon after their operations? and I am mainly talking about NHS patients here!
"Why are you singling out people who had their operations funded by NHS? Anyone who has had weight loss surgery can have a bad day food wise. This statement in itself to me is slightly offensive. My funding was on the NHS and I have good and bad days. I am not afraid to admit that as this is my life I and I will live it as I see fit. The band inside me helps me control portion size. My surgeon has said time and again to me this is NOT a diet it is a lifestyle change and one you have to live with for a long time and to make it work, food now has to be about balance and normality. A calorie is a calorie, your body doesn't know if it was a from a biscuit or a slice of cheese and a cracker, it's just fuel. As long as you keep calories lower and exercise to burn it off, you can enjoy the occasional treat.
I would have never gone down this road otherwise...for me it was always about portion control as I was a binge eater of both savoury healthy foods and sweet foods too.
You cannot pigeon hole people...thats not fair. We are all indivuduals with our own considerations. If someone has had a bad day, we should offer a hand of friendship and help them through that, not judge of make them feel guilty.
Guilt got some of us to this point...guilt and issues about how we feel about ourselves and that food was our only friends when we were troubled. The operation does not act like an off switch...that is so daft to think so.
We took years to get ourselves into a mess, it might take a period of adjustment. Some cope really quickly and move forward but others don't cope so well with all the changes and old habits can return.
It doesn't mean they are wasting the tool they were given, just adapting to massive life changing event, and there are no timetables"
I'm not interested in stories about how you were costing the NHS more by the meds etc you were on, I am just so curious to know WHY when you have been given an operation on the NHS to you go against guidelines and your teams advice? It is no different to the likes of George Best being given the liver transplant and continuing to drink, why when you have been given the gift of a bypass/band do you continue to eat foods that caused you to get fat in the 1st place and that YOU KNOW could cause old habits to creep back in again
"Okay, if George Best was your dad, would you deny him a liver?????"
Private patients should know better aswell
"WHY???? Does paying for something out of your own pocket mean you are more intelligent???
but at the end of the day their op was paid for privately so if they want to jeopardise it then so be it its well for them that have money to burn but when so many people get their funding turned down etc do you think its fair that those who allow old habits back in and start on the downward spiral of putting on weight again should continue to cost the NHS money?
I dont post alot on here but I do spend some time reading through old posts and the amount of times I have read about people having bad days and just eating whats infront of them is just mind boggling!
"To you, this is your view. What about the person who on that day when they make a bad choice is in conflict and feels bad, they probably don't like that feeling and is made worse by most of your post as you have added a whacking great dollop of guilt and guilt is destructive. I prefer the non judgemental, help them through it approach."
I also know we are only human but at the end of the day you swore blind to your team that you would follow their guidelines and do as they say, if you were to tell them before your op that you might have bad days and eat things you shouldn't risking pouch damage etc...do you think they would give you the operation...I doubt it!!
"I was honest with my NHS surgeon that I wanted to have a normal realationship with food after the op and be able to have the occasional freedom to have something nice, he said thats fine as long as you don'y go mad and that you work it off wth exercise"
I really hope people dont have a go at me, its something that I have wanted to ask for weeks and here is the only place I am able to get an answer
"I think you should be more wary of how you came across. To me it sounded snobbish and judgemental and it upset me as I had operation on NHS"
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