fuze
New Member
Ok so I wanted to start a diary of my journey. Its a long first post as I just want to get down what has happened so far. It is not really the beginning, as like many of you I have struggled with my weight since a very young age. There are many photos of me when I was at pre-school and even then I was the podgy one and since then it has just got worse. Since I can remember I have had the same weight as my age so now im heading into my late twenties my weight has followed and surpassed my age. I have tried many many diets, WW, slimming world, cambridge, lighterlife, and they all work great for a couple of weeks and then my will power fails.
About 6 years ago while doing my nurse training I had a great weight loss with slimming world and stuck to the diet for a year and lost 5 stone, then my mum took seriously ill and died. I dont want to place blame anything or make an excuse but it devastated me and I just stopped caring about anything. So the weight went back on plus more in the space of just 6 months! It was so hard, I had to sell my mums house (and mine as I was only 21 at the time and so was still living at home while doing my nurse training at the local hospital), and plan her funeral and deal with solicitors and everything (as I had already lost my dad to cancer when I was 16).
Anyway after some time I decided that I needed to live my life, my mum and dad would want me to live my life to the full and make something of myself. So I made the decision to go for weight loss surgery as it seemed to be the tool i needed to help me. I went to a private company offering gastric bands and they said I was ideal for the procedure so I went ahead with it using the money my parents left me. I thought this would be the start of my new life so I had the surgery done on my 22nd birthday. The procedure went ok and to start with I got a good restriction and lost a couple of stone. Then 8 months later I had a problem- something got stuck and I ended up in hospital for a week not being able to eat anything until they could figure out what to do with me (my local NHS hospital had not come across many WLS patients so were at a bit of a loss). Anyway I got better and a few weeks later I had a barium swallow to check all was still ok and I was given the OK! I then had several fills to the band but with no use. I was able to eat what I wanted when I wanted and I was never feeling full, I was still feeling so hungry. I was so worried that my band had slipped so I had another swallow and they said that there was no slipping and everything looked fine. I was at my wits end, I had no idea what to do next so I went to see my GP who referred me to Dr New at Salford Royal. I first saw Dr New about 18 months ago and he almost instantly said that I needed to have a Gastric Bypass. He said that I should never really have had a band as even then my BMI and the type of person I am indicated I needed to have a bypass, but at the time the company I was with only offered bands. I felt a bit robbed really as I had put my faith in them to do the right thing but if i had not had a band I would not have had surgery with them (I know its a bit cynical but now I think to myself all they wanted was my money!).
Anyway like I said I saw Dr New about 18 months ago and he recommended me for Bypass. I was a bit shocked that he thought such drastic surgery was really my last hope. So I went home with some websites and places to get information from and an appointment to go back and see him 6 weeks later to tell him what my decision was. If im being honest I did not want to look at the information as I had thought that it would be too scary as I thought there was a really high mortality with this procedure. But after doing some research I decided that it was the best thing for me. I did not currently have Diabetes but I was heading that way and my blood pressure had started to creep up due to my weight and I had tipped the scales at 28 stone! my heaviest yet, something needed to be done and this was it! It has been hard coming to terms with what I will be having done and its permanence but I am 100% sure this is right for me. It was hard to talk to my partner about it, I suppose its hard admitting to anyone that you have a problem and need help. He is very suportive and is with me all the way. He loves me for me.
So here I am 18 months since my first appointment with Dr New, Ive had my funding approved (that took ages!) and I have had my appointment with Mr Ammori, the dietician, the psychologist and the anaesthetist. I have had my preop done, my sleep test, ECG, Echo and my lung function tests and I have my surgery date.... the 3rd of August. I am due to start my liver reducing diet a week today but I have already been careful with what I eat for the last few weeks, just trying to cut down.
It is a very scary thought that it is so soon. I am so conflicted too, on one had I am so so scared of the operation, im scared i wont wake up after the surgery or that something will go wrong during or after the surgery, i keep thinking to myself I could die, is it worth it? then i think that if i dont have it done my risk of health problems being this weight is so high that my quality of life and length of life will all be reduced. On the other hand im worried they may cancel the surgery. As i mentioned I used to be a nurse in the NHS and I know the elective surgeries can get cancelled at the last minute due to there being no beds available in the hospital or because I get sick or the surgeon or anaesthetist. It is all ifs', but's and maybes, but it still worries me, possibly more that the prospect of having the surgery itself.
Anyway that is me up to this point. There are some things I will talk about in later posts about my life as they would just confuse things to talk about them now. I know I have typed alot but I hope you find it interesting. Ill keep you updated!
About 6 years ago while doing my nurse training I had a great weight loss with slimming world and stuck to the diet for a year and lost 5 stone, then my mum took seriously ill and died. I dont want to place blame anything or make an excuse but it devastated me and I just stopped caring about anything. So the weight went back on plus more in the space of just 6 months! It was so hard, I had to sell my mums house (and mine as I was only 21 at the time and so was still living at home while doing my nurse training at the local hospital), and plan her funeral and deal with solicitors and everything (as I had already lost my dad to cancer when I was 16).
Anyway after some time I decided that I needed to live my life, my mum and dad would want me to live my life to the full and make something of myself. So I made the decision to go for weight loss surgery as it seemed to be the tool i needed to help me. I went to a private company offering gastric bands and they said I was ideal for the procedure so I went ahead with it using the money my parents left me. I thought this would be the start of my new life so I had the surgery done on my 22nd birthday. The procedure went ok and to start with I got a good restriction and lost a couple of stone. Then 8 months later I had a problem- something got stuck and I ended up in hospital for a week not being able to eat anything until they could figure out what to do with me (my local NHS hospital had not come across many WLS patients so were at a bit of a loss). Anyway I got better and a few weeks later I had a barium swallow to check all was still ok and I was given the OK! I then had several fills to the band but with no use. I was able to eat what I wanted when I wanted and I was never feeling full, I was still feeling so hungry. I was so worried that my band had slipped so I had another swallow and they said that there was no slipping and everything looked fine. I was at my wits end, I had no idea what to do next so I went to see my GP who referred me to Dr New at Salford Royal. I first saw Dr New about 18 months ago and he almost instantly said that I needed to have a Gastric Bypass. He said that I should never really have had a band as even then my BMI and the type of person I am indicated I needed to have a bypass, but at the time the company I was with only offered bands. I felt a bit robbed really as I had put my faith in them to do the right thing but if i had not had a band I would not have had surgery with them (I know its a bit cynical but now I think to myself all they wanted was my money!).
Anyway like I said I saw Dr New about 18 months ago and he recommended me for Bypass. I was a bit shocked that he thought such drastic surgery was really my last hope. So I went home with some websites and places to get information from and an appointment to go back and see him 6 weeks later to tell him what my decision was. If im being honest I did not want to look at the information as I had thought that it would be too scary as I thought there was a really high mortality with this procedure. But after doing some research I decided that it was the best thing for me. I did not currently have Diabetes but I was heading that way and my blood pressure had started to creep up due to my weight and I had tipped the scales at 28 stone! my heaviest yet, something needed to be done and this was it! It has been hard coming to terms with what I will be having done and its permanence but I am 100% sure this is right for me. It was hard to talk to my partner about it, I suppose its hard admitting to anyone that you have a problem and need help. He is very suportive and is with me all the way. He loves me for me.
So here I am 18 months since my first appointment with Dr New, Ive had my funding approved (that took ages!) and I have had my appointment with Mr Ammori, the dietician, the psychologist and the anaesthetist. I have had my preop done, my sleep test, ECG, Echo and my lung function tests and I have my surgery date.... the 3rd of August. I am due to start my liver reducing diet a week today but I have already been careful with what I eat for the last few weeks, just trying to cut down.
It is a very scary thought that it is so soon. I am so conflicted too, on one had I am so so scared of the operation, im scared i wont wake up after the surgery or that something will go wrong during or after the surgery, i keep thinking to myself I could die, is it worth it? then i think that if i dont have it done my risk of health problems being this weight is so high that my quality of life and length of life will all be reduced. On the other hand im worried they may cancel the surgery. As i mentioned I used to be a nurse in the NHS and I know the elective surgeries can get cancelled at the last minute due to there being no beds available in the hospital or because I get sick or the surgeon or anaesthetist. It is all ifs', but's and maybes, but it still worries me, possibly more that the prospect of having the surgery itself.
Anyway that is me up to this point. There are some things I will talk about in later posts about my life as they would just confuse things to talk about them now. I know I have typed alot but I hope you find it interesting. Ill keep you updated!
