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Any regrets?

slimmerkay said:
I just feel I wish I had done it by my own efforts without the drastic measure of surgery.

I regret that I now have to take so many tablets a day to keep me healthy (I HATE taking my tablets).

I regret that I seem to have developed gallstones now since sugery (the pain is bad sometimes).

And I regret that now I don't enjoy eating at all. Food does not interest me anymore. I eat because I have to but I don't get the full feeling easily so I haven't worked out totally as yet when to stop eating. And because I do not enjoy general food at all I turn to "bad" food now and then because I at least get a little enjoyment out of that.

Maybe I wont always regret it - I really did early post-op, then didn't for a couple of weeks but now do again. I'm just contrary lol ;)
Click to expand...



Nice to read an honest answer for a change !
 
Karen I am so sorry that surgery wasn't what you expected and that your experience, regarding care, hasn't been the best.

I am 9wks out and don't regret having my surgery at all. I would say that I regret not having done it years ago, but I only knew about the balloon and band then, neither of which would have worked for me.

I don't even regret the long wait I had as it helped me prepare more thoroughly for the surgery. Like Karen I hate taking all the tablets, but, I took quite a few prior to surgery for health issues. I am so looking forward to not having to lug my sleep apnoea machine around with me on holidays etc.

My children love the new more mobile and less in pain me. I think it's because I'm more tolerant than I was when I was in pain all the time. I could go on but will leave room for others.

Oh, I have also been blessed by meeting all you guys either in the flesh or online. This wouldn't have happened if I had not started on this journey. I look forward to having a much longer life than I would have had if I had stayed on my old obese path (God willing).
 
There has been a few instances where I thought I regretted it.....But these have been when i've wanted bad food!!!! which is what got me into this position in the first place.....

This feeling soon passes when i look down and can see my feet, and can see that my belly doesn't look bigger than my boobs !!!!!!

It has been a very drastic measure and life around food will never be the same, but do we really want to be the person we were and go back to the life we used to lead????
I was on NO pills at all prior to surgery but I don't see it as an issue as they are what are gonna keep me healthy on my new life journey.....

So on the whole NO i don't regret having it done..... ;o)
 
I have two regrets.

The first is that I regret letting myself get so obese that I needed surgery in the first place.

My second regret is that I didn't do it sooner!

I'm having a real bad time at the moment & anything I eat doesn't seem to agree with me. I don't post on here a lot on here for a few reasons but one of them is that I don't want to seem ungrateful about my bypass as that's certainly not the case.

Its not been easy for me but I have had it easier than a lot of people. But I don't regret my bypass one bit! :D
 
It's so good to hear that there are so many peeps who feel they wish they would have had their surgery years earlier and to hear that so many have worked through the 'head' issues...

I'm not far away (health permitting) but have had a soul search to recently to see if it's the right thing for me to do... before it's too late.

On balance... everyone takes a different attitude to life in all things... some find it easier than others... some can find it more difficult for as many reasons... plus we are all so very different in our attitude to life and how we are able to adjust and take things in our stride etc etc... I'm normally a person who does take things in my stride... but I've relentlessly searched myself... and this is my conclusion...

I've been seriously overweight for that long, as I've got older.. it has wrecked my health... that could not go on.

Having lost my weight and been down to 12 stones in the past only to regain and go back up to 20 stones plus... it's been a hopeless battle for me and adds to low self esteem.

I would love to lose the weight myself, but realistically I accept that I cannot do this and despite wishing to... I have to accept me for who I am and I love my food.

On account of my poor health and major diseases that have been borne out of weight related issues (the finger with every specialist has pointed right back to weight... and it seemed to be a reason behind my propensity to be diagnosed with cancer) I don't feel that my body should be subjected to more years of stress due to my weight... and I just cannot get the weight off by natural means... sorry as I am it's true.

Plus I'm pending retirement.... so I've enjoyed many years of happy eating.

But.... I'm not looking at my life as changing beyond recognition... I shall be investing in a smaller plate dinnerservice... all of my family are agreeing to eat less and work with me and for my children and younger family members, they won't go short... but neither will I.

It's going to be a smaller plate... a smaller body and looking forward to enjoying being healthier...

If this is what it takes... then it has to be... and for me... I've waited for a couple of years to improve my health and there is no stopping me now... I'll be there at the hospital with my little bag and a smile on my face... I can't wait...

But I've only arrived at this decision after an enormous journey of soul searching, not rushing into any decision and being absolutely sure that it is the right way for me to go ... I think the waiting has been a great advantage and for those of you who feel a little frustrated by the wait... there are advantages in not rushing into anything in life...

Good luck to each and every one of you either post op... pre op... or in between... it's good to talk and explore how we feel and to help each other through if we are able...

Loving hugs to each and everyone, no exceptions! xxx
 
But Jacci you shouldn't stop posting because you feel people may think you're ungrateful for your bypass. Of course you're grateful for it. I'm grateful for mine, I love the weight loss and I love Mr Ammori for giving me surgery. But that doesn't mean I can't come on here and be honest and say I regret it.

I'm sure people would prefer to see honest, bare bones postings about what life post-surgery is REALLY like. It's hard - it is NOT a bunch of roses and why shouldn't we say it's tough when it is tough?

I, for one, will not pretend anymore that surgery is the answer to all our problems and life will be peachy after it - because sometimes .... IT WONT.
 
I have never regretted my decision to have this surgery for one second, just that 1) I didn't do it sooner 2) I couldn't do it the traditional route of diet and exercise. My surgiversary was yesterday and looking back, although there have been about 3 times when I had some really bad cramping pains, due I think to constipation, the journey has been relatively painfree and exciting seeing a butterfly emerge from the crysallis (as my daughter put it the other day). I realise and so do others now how dampened my life and personality had been by being overweight and also my doctor beams every time I see him because the only time I see him is for vit prescriptions and not for pain or bad health. I'm fit, healthy, tons of energy, hope for the future and enjoyment of life. Its the best decision I ever made and thank the NHS every day for the opportunity to have this surgery.
 
Hi Jacci... lovely as always to hear from you.

It's always a great pleasure to read your posts... I never miss any... plus it's been an honour to walk side by side with you on your journey precious...

We are always here through the ups and downs which are inevitable... so don't ever lose touch and you know we are here for you for anything if we can help in anyway...

Sending a warm and humungous hug to you and hope the weather has improved for you way up in the north east...

Love you Jacci. xxx
 
I think the only time i regretted it was the day after surgery and if any body asked me i would tell them, i had read everywhere that its uncomfortable etc and i thought ok this is gonna be a doddle as i have quite a high pain thresh hold, i did not realise the pain was going to be that bad, i felt like i had been run over by a steam roller and the fact i can not get my thirst under control, thats my biggest regret, its not the food aspect its the fact that drinking is not good, i have so many opened bottles of squash etc and after a day or two tastes rank, i can get enough fluid in but the thirst is there and thats not nice. Karen i think its so good for you to beable to air your concerns like you are, people go into this thinking its going to be a miracle cure, it certainly is not that, and as you said in another thread they have replumbed your stomach and not your head and that is so true, you still fancy food and its having the will power to make a better choice. Hopefully hun when the summer gets here, it will make you feel so much better xx
 
Ive never regretting having my surgery, Ive had some times where Ive not felt too good and had a few episodes of rabid dog syndrome :eek: not pleasant! Ive had pain sometimes and Ive worried that I wont enjoy my food sometimes too...but I truly dont regret my decision for a moment. I feel this is because I thought so hard beforehand about if it was the right thing for me. I had to take handfuls of tablets before surgery so having to take a few now isnt a problem. I enjoy the food I can eat and dont very often crave the foods I cant eat.....when I do I just remind myself how much weight Ive lost not eating them! On the subject of "sugar-coating" the WLS journey, I dont feel I have ever done that. I try to be honest about my journey but would rather highlight the good points than dwell on the few bad points I have had. I know some people have a really tough time, Im grateful that I have had it pretty good......by no means is it the easy option some people think it is but by the same rule I feel the good far outweighs the bad. Thats my honest opinion, and I would say to anyone who like I was is suffering terrible co-morbidities from being obese.......go for it! :D XX
 
There is nothing that will prevent me from having the surgery.... there are advantages in waiting, learning and developing your knowledge & understanding.... without this forum.... I would have been quite ignorant but between here and the meetings that I attend plus the personal friendships I have developed on here.... it's essential for me to go forward....otherwise for sure I will have a very short retirment.

Again... love and thanks to everyone for their support and for sharing your journeys xxx
 
I've no regrets at all, like other I only wish I had done it many years ago.

Sure I miss eating a family size dairy milk every once in a while (ok , most evenings), Whenever I see a McDonalds sign I still think about a Big Tasty between my teeth, but that fleeting craving, which is in the head not stomach, passes really quick and in truth it does not compare to the joy I'm getting from becoming more active, it does not measure against pulling on a pair of jeans and looking good in them and it cannot touch feeling good about myself and confident.

The day after my surgery, when it hurt, for a moment I thought "OMG, what have I done" that thought went with the pain and the decreasing numbers on the scales.

It's all good, I love not being hungry, food is no longer dominating me. Funny how good healthy food actually tastes.

No regrets here.
 
slimmerkay said:
But Jacci you shouldn't stop posting because you feel people may think you're ungrateful for your bypass. Of course you're grateful for it. I'm grateful for mine, I love the weight loss and I love Mr Ammori for giving me surgery. But that doesn't mean I can't come on here and be honest and say I regret it.

I'm sure people would prefer to see honest, bare bones postings about what life post-surgery is REALLY like. It's hard - it is NOT a bunch of roses and why shouldn't we say it's tough when it is tough?

I, for one, will not pretend anymore that surgery is the answer to all our problems and life will be peachy after it - because sometimes .... IT WONT.
Click to expand...

Absolutely! This is why I firmly believe support groups are a godsend. I've met people from.all stages and with many views on wls... a friend has just bwen granted funding and Ive told her exactly as it is. That's so important, Its not easy, but it doesn't have to be difficult.

I'm.sure you'll turn a more positive corner soon, Karen xxx
 
Dell I don't think it was meant that way. I think it was meant more as "a "without frills" answer for a change" .... but I could be wrong.

My posts have always been honest too but previously I did avoid telling the darker side of the story because when you do you are (in general) made to feel ungrateful for having your sugery.

It's not just me - other post-oppers have agreed with me in private. Some pre-oppers make us feel like "How can you be so ungrateful, I'd love to be in your shoes and have had sugery, so be thankful." Some post-oppers make us feel like "You've been given a wonderful miracle, don't knock it just get on with it and tell everyone how wonderful it is."
 
Just for info too. It isn't my stall in weight loss making me bitter. I weighed in this morning and have lost 3lbs - I still regret surgery though.
 
This is a great thread. It makes me think about the ups and downs (which i've done anyway). I also appreciate everyones honesty the good, the bad and the ugly! Also being on here is good as there have been people who have sailed through, other with difficulties and some who have had a downright awful time. I look forward to a time when i am post op and can see what my journey looks like :)
 
I haven't come across any pre oppers that have ever suggested in any way that anyone should be forever grateful for surgery and I have many personal messages too from pre and post oppers.

What is important is that we are all individuals with unique experiences and with that goes the fact that everybody is different, in physical, mental and attitudes in life generally.

To that end... people's views, experiences, tolerances etc etc are inevitably different, but everyone is respected.

Sending all good wishes to everyone who has or is envisaging this long journey and respecting the fact that we are all unique and despite our common experience... the people that we are are all diverse in so many way...

Love and hugs xxx
 
I think it depends on where you are along your journey as to how you feel about it. This might surprise some of you but up to eight months out if I could have gone back to having normal guts I would have done

Its not that I regretted surgery I'm fairly sure I didn't, I just didn't like the rigmarole associated with post op life. The pre planning meals, the fluid intake and working that around six meals a day. The supplements etc, it was all just so much of a palaver I took a while to get into a routine, and I get bored of routines real quickly

I also think it takes a while for our psychology to catch up to the physiology, in that our minds still think like a fat person for a while. It used to kill me to not to be able to eat the foods I once loved like dear friends, and in the quantities I used to consume them. To see food left on my plate because I couldn't eat it made me feel very sad. I still wanted to load my plate to the volumes I was used to, but my eyes were bigger than my belly and that made me a little sad, I'm a food addict and my drug had been wrenched from me and I didn't like it

I don't know why I changed my outlook at eight months or so, I guess I'd lost twelve stone by then and I could do so many things I couldn't do pre op that I just realised chuff me this is better than killing myself with my own fork

Now I love my bypass. I love the new me even if I have issues with the excess skin and the wrinkles etc. I have little time for whinging negative moaners and try to be a positive person so I just look for the positives. I'm nearly two years out and without the operation my life expectancy was less than ten years. So with luck I've given myself a chance to still be here ten years from now that I wouldn't have had without it. That can't be bad right?

Should we be honest about our feelings well heck yes of course we should, but feelings change in time. I know some suffer complications post op and that's sad, but if they can be sorted they still impact our lives less than the comorbidities that being morbidly obese brings for most.

Should we be grateful for the surgery? you bet your life we should. We got ourselves huge no one force fed us we did it to ourselves, the surgeons give us a chance of a normal life, we should rejoice in that.

Great thread
 
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