Confused

[Cheekygirl80]

Hi all,

I am so confused , every time I feel that I have made up my mind and apart from being worried about the op am 100% I have made the right decision, one of my friends will pipe up saying they have all been talking and feel it is completely the wrong thing to do!!! I am a very social
Person and also a mum of 2 young children, there view is 1) I won't be able to enjoy my nights out as much due to not eating as much and 2) I will hate having to cook for my hubby and kids and only be able to eat tiny portion myself!!

Now I feel that these thing would nit bother me half as much as feeling the way I do now does. BUT whenever I speak to them it makes me question myself!!

Has anyone else felt like this???

Xcxxx

 

[jema]

Hi. i feel like this all the time. I also have young kids (6,4 & 2yrs) and have people saying that I shouldn't do it. I think that my kids would rather have me around a lot longer and as a slimmer, fitter, healthier Mam. I also think I am more likely to stand and cook them healthy meals so they don't end up like me, and I am very aware of what they eat. I'd talk to your friends about how important this is to you and your family, and if they have nothing good and supportive to say, then maybe they shouldn't say anything at all. Maybe if you show them the stories on this site, they'll realise how life changing this decision is, and that it's not an easy way out.
Only you will know if you're doing the right thing.
Good luck. x

 

[wizzbang]

I still enjoy cooking for my loved ones, but only eat tiny amounts myself. Yesterday I made scones, banana bread and lemon curd. I haven't had a scone and dont want one, i tasted the banana bread (only wanted one bite) and the smell of the lemon curd was lovely but I didn't want any. I thoroughly enjoyed making it all though and thoroughly enjoyed giving my goodies away.
As far as socialising is concerned, having a bypass wont alter your ability to eat out, you will just make different choices, eat more slowly and be able to have a nice time enjoying the company more than you enjoy the food.
Do what you want to do, not what others want you to do, they don't always have your best interests at heart even though they might think they do.
Lynne x

 

[Cheekygirl80]

Ah thanks Jema, it's good to know I'm not the only one who has friends like these!!

Sometimes I even wish they would stop talking to me about it as they really don't understand, even though I know they mean well and are just trying to help!!

Thanks for your reply xx

 

[Cheekygirl80]

Thanks Lynne that's good to hear,

I am one that loves cooking for others and do feel that this wouldn't stop just because I'm not eating it all!! Surely the way I feel about myself being so much healthier would far out weigh that!!

Good it's so hard dealing with negative point of views xx

 

[Caren]

The thing is, unless people are like us they just wont understand. I think I speak for a lot of people on this site when i say how wonderful it is when you join this community and find people who are the same, people who really understand. I had a friend try to talk me out of it today, i get it all the time, and my daughter thinks im going to die lol. I have no real support but i'm doing this one for me, its about time i looked after myself. Only you can decide if surgery is the right thing for you, its a massive decision, major surgery, there are things that can go wrong, very few sail along without at least one hitch, however small, but they mostly turn out ok. Just read all the info, ask any questions that you want, none are too silly or trivial. If its deffo what you want then you have to just tell them youre not going to change your mind and thats that, then when you feel confused again come and talk to us lol. Good luck honey, you will do the best thing for you and yours xxx

 

[Cheekygirl80]

Thanks Caren, that's such a nice message. I can't tell you how good it is to hear from others it the same boat as me. It's make me feel really normal and not so alone. Thanks to all for your support and advice xx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

I can cook a full english breakfast,sunday roast ,trifle etc and not be a bit bothered!In fact I have all the above most sundays just a little of everything!Just went to a 50th birthday party and danced,drank and ate just like anyone else.But I had two vodkas in j2o,meat and seafood from buffet.
Your life dosnt end with wls it is just the beggining,dont let anyone put you off.I was 19st 6 months ago and I was 13st today,healthy,happy and skint cos I keep buying clothes in size 14/16!Maz x

 

[chubby funster]

You will find ways to deal with new situations. I can honestly say I've only had the odd fleeting thought of, I wish I could have more buffet food or eat all a pub lunch. But the reality is I just don't care amymore! I will happily feed my OH and friends without the slightest bother.
Your friends are raising things you will have thought yourself. But only you can decide. What they also need to realise is that any "negatives" they feel surgery may bring re your social life will be nothing compared to the real health negatives of being overweight and let's be honest, and a bit vain, the negatives of being the fat one! Sitting there while friends slink around in something pretty and the fat one sits there in an Evans summer, seats 14 marquee!!!! Or is that just me!!!!! ;-)

Sent from my HTC Desire using WLSurgery

 

[Cheekygirl80]

Oh maz, you have done so unbelievably well, size 14 wow wee!! Well done! Xx

 

[Cheekygirl80]

No I know what u mean, I too am the one in the Evans tents lol xx