Newbie, confused and scared

[paulineiw]

Hi, I am having a bypass on June 6th at the Spire in Southampton
I weigh just under 20 stones. I have rheumatoid arthritis and diabetes and hope the op will help.
I am so scared, I am scared of the op, mortality rate seems quite high!! I seem at the moment to be unable to stick to a strict diet, one week before the pre op diet starts. I do not have much support, I am single and have little support from family, I think I am going to need quite a bit of support from you guys!
Saying that, I do not want to be this size anymore, my limited mobility means my weight loss will be relatively slow but I am determined to do my utmost.
I am very confused as to what to expect to be able to eat in the future, will I ever be able to go out for a family meal for example, what will I be able to eat? Any advice gratefully received. How do I set up the ticker graph? Pauline

 

[Brunetteandred]

Hi, I am having a bypass on June 6th at the Spire in Southampton
I weigh just under 20 stones. I have rheumatoid arthritis and diabetes and hope the op will help.
I am so scared, I am scared of the op, mortality rate seems quite high!! I seem at the moment to be unable to stick to a strict diet, one week before the pre op diet starts. I do not have much support, I am single and have little support from family, I think I am going to need quite a bit of support from you guys!
Saying that, I do not want to be this size anymore, my limited mobility means my weight loss will be relatively slow but I am determined to do my utmost.
I am very confused as to what to expect to be able to eat in the future, will I ever be able to go out for a family meal for example, what will I be able to eat? Any advice gratefully received. How do I set up the ticker graph? Pauline

Hi and :welcome:. You have made a very important, life changing decision and I would presume that you have given lots of thought to it and not made a snap decision.

It is very natural to be afraid. Much has been made of the mortality rate and there was a recent thread on this forum discussing it. The 1 in 200 figure quoted is for the whole of the UK, counts all deaths within 12 months of the surgery date and a large proportion of those people who sadly died were super-obese and were very high risk patients.

There is an element of risk in any surgical procedure, especially under general anaesthesia and the obese frame does present different kinds of challenges than say that of a size 12 frame, but your surgeon and team specialise in this particular kind of surgery and will be aware of any risk factors you personally may have. That will all be taken into account.

Most, if not all WLS patients arrive at the surgeon;s door beacuse they cannot maintain a healthy diet and so WLS is the last chance saloon for us. You are not alone Pauline. This forum is a very good place to come to for many reasons; friendship, support, advice. It is all here.

I presume that you will be having the keyhole procedure? In which case it is absolutely crucial that you follow the pre-op diet they have given you. This is simply because that if your liver is not sufficiently shrunk enough it can either be damaged or they will not perform the operation and you will therefore be either very ill (and be at higher risk) or will have wasted your money (if private) for nothing as there is a very good chance the surgeon will close you back up without doing the bypass.

It is only a small amount of time in your life to concentrate on and you can do it, knowing you will be better for it on the other side.

Your healthcare provider whould give you diet information for post-op. It does seem to vary from provider to provider but rest assured that you will be eating normally again eventually (albeit a changed, healthier diet!) and partaking in social events.

I am sure some of the long-term bypassers on here will be along to reassure you of that!

With regard to a ticker, go to a website such as ticker.com, make a ticker, copy the BB code, go into user CP on the menu here, click edit signature and paste the BB code in there.

All the very best and keep talking!

 

[shelbell]

Hi Pauline, welcome to the gang

I have 2 different types of arthritus, psoriatic and lupus, which contribute to me being reg disabled and with very limited mobility. I reached my target weight in just over 9 months. So please don't think it will hold you back because if you get the eating right, you can succeed without the exercise. It might mean you have a little looser skin than someone who exercises regularly but that's a small price to pay.

We have a daily menu's thread for post op bypassers, which will give you an idea of what people eat post op. http://www.minimins.com/wls-recipes-forum/74487-gastric-bypass-daily-menus.html

I go out for meals quite regularly. You soon learn what are good restaurant options and once you get past the mental block of leaving food on your plate it's fine

Bypass surgery is scary, but it's also life changing in so many good ways.

The pre-op diet is unpleasant, but it is perfectly possible to stick to it and follow it 100%. It will help you get your head into a good place for the initial post op diet, and if you don't follow it properly you risk having liver problems during surgery.

You've got a big group here to support you :hug99:

 

[Brunetteandred]

See? I said one of the long term bypassers would be along! And Shel is an excellent ambassador for what WLS can do for you. She lost 9 stone and is now expecting a new baby! I also had the pleasure of meeting Shel in a social situation in March this year and she ate quite normally and well in the restaurant we went to.

How's that for success?

 

[wannaloose18stone]

The op isnt anything to worry about, your focus must be on post op care of yourself, you will have nto make sure that you look after yourself by taking vits etc regular and getting regular blood tests and generally just keeping in close contact with your GP. You musnt be afraid to ask ANYTHING.
My Diabetes has gone, my Sleap Apnia has gone and all my aching joints have gone.
I'm 9 months same as Shel and I'm 14 1/2 stone down from my highest weight just pre op.
The operation in my opinion has to be taken as a last resort and you must take the time to research ALL the info about it and whats involved post op then make your decision. I personally don't regret a thing, I just wish I had this site and all the info on it when I started my journey.

 

[wannaloose18stone]

P.S, feel free to email me any time if I can ever help I will, I think you will find anyone on here will say the same.

 

[topsy]

Hi Pauline - just wanted to say :welcome2:to minis. This is a wonderful weight loss forum were you will find people at diferent stages of their weight loss journey.

It is understandable to be nervous i think anyone normal feels the same way but once the op is done you will then be on the losers bench with the other losers and you will then see benefits to your body and health due to this surgery. Don't worry about mortality there are other things in this world that can pull the plug on your life!!!! but by doing this and losing weight you are reducing your risk of dying of an obesity related illness.

You have had replies from two of our best members :superwomanRed and Shel) and there are many others here that will be able to answer ANY question you ask as they have either been there and done it or if they don't know the answer they will go and search for the answer for you and others that my benefit from the information.

So welcome again - and enjoy making many new friends and belonging to a WLS family:grouphugg:

 

[gaelic girl]

Hi Pauline
Welcome. I'm fairly new myself and am having the bypass on 7th Aug at spire hospital manchester. I too experienced the same thoughts and feelings as yourself before i found this site. The natural feelings are still there but i can't praise the guys on here enough, especially to us newbies, someone always comes along and answers any questions honestly and openly and although i still feel scared i'm growing more confident about my decision. So once again thanks to everyone who takes time to help us newbies. You have come to the right place Pauline.
Allie xx

 

[I will get there one day!]

Hi and welcome.

I see you are having the op in Southampton. Who is your surgeon? I'm in Winchester. Although I'm a bander I would always be happy to meet up if it would help you to chat things over.

x

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

hello.im a bander on here but i just wanted to welcome you to minis. this is a great place for support and the bypassers on here will help you through any hard times and help you cope with any worries that you may have, i just wanted to wish you luck on your journey and i hope all goes well for you.

liz x

 

[Brunetteandred]

The mortality thing was my greatest fear and I discussed it with a couple of long-timers and I have also been extremely lucky to meet and make genuine local friends. We are sharing our journeys and supporting each other any way we can.

Some people also put their fears and feelings into a blog. This can be private so only you and or your contacts can read it or public. It can be very helpful and therapeutic.

 

[swizzlestick]

Hi Pauline

I'm sure you will like it here.

I'm awaiting a date for bypass and have similar health issues to shelbell. I have found the wealth of info on this site invaluable.

I have got myself a special notebook and every time I read something important about eating options or vitamins etc I write it down and keep it all in the same place, so that when it comes to having the op I can look through it to remind myself of things.

I have a page with the recommended things like benefibre, pain relief patches, the best type of vitamins ie forceval gel caps.

All of these things I wouldn't have known unless I had found this site. Little things like using ice cube trays to freeze small portions, recipes for success, you name it you will find it here.

I cannot tell you how scared I am too Pauline, especially with all my complications, but when I feel like that I think of Shelbell and how far she has come since having the surgery, and I also think that I'm probably safer to have the op than to carry on like this. Also, I think it may have been 2 bands Liz who tried to put it into perspective when saying that the risks are similar to that of gall bladder removal (which I also need) If you suffer with gall stones and your gp refers you for surgery, you would be a little apprehensive but probably not think twice about going through with it.

I think we worry more with wls because we have asked for this surgery, it is elective and we bear the weight of responsibility for that. We also (well I know I do) feel selfish incase something happened to us and we wern't there for our families, when the truth and reality of the situation is that we are putting ourselves at greater risk with obesity (hate that word) related illness.

You need to look at all the options to you, work out if you think the risk is worth it and the only way you can really do that is by doing your research, minis is a great place to do that.

Another good thing to remember as Silversurfer has pointed out on many occasions is that if you have wls, your band or pouch is a tool, you have to work with it, we must not be fooled into thinking that the 'tool' does all the work for us, we have to re-educate ourselves and our bodies.

Ok I have probably waffled on way to long lol

I'm sure you will like it here Xx

 

[phatgirl]

Hi, and welcome! You have found a goldmine here at minimins. I am nearly 7 months post-bypass and I am feeling great. I have both diabetes and arthritis and I was 20s10lbs when I started out. I have now lost 7s8lbs and am no longer needing diabetes meds or regular pain meds for my arthritis. I went back home to America a couple of months ago and was able to cook and enjoy several large family meals, I chose things that were easy for me to eat (cottage pie, low-fat curry, low fat pasta dishes) and truly enjoyed my small portion of food. You will not be doomed to food isolation, I promise. Most restaurants offer salads, soups, starters and lean entres that are perfect for a post-op. Don't worry about what you will eat, it will all come in time. You will find that your healthy and sensible eating will come with a bit of practice, and we are all here to help if you need it.

Like everyone has said it is natural to be scared, heck if you weren't a bit scared I would think you didn't understand the risks and benefits. Just know this, with major health issues like diabetes you have the risk of early death looming in your future anyway such as kidney failure, liver damage from diabetes meds, possible circulation issues that can lead to limbs being removed, etc. I also have hypertension and a strong history of heart disease in my family so I was looking at a real threat of heart attack or stroke in the next 10-15 years. This surgery for me was an opportunity to take my fate into my own hands and safeguard my future.

Please feel free to shout out any questions you might have, we have an awesome collective of knowledge here so someone will probably know the answer!

Best of luck,
Nic

 

[tendersage]

Hi pauline where in southampton are you? i hail from there but since i was 22 have moved around a bit, my family are still there and i go back a few times each year to see them.

Welcome to mini's you will find all the support and advice you need, this is suplimental to what you get from your surgeon and dietitian, It is very natural to feel nervous and scared sbout the op, its a llife changing experience. As for eating afterwards it gradually improves until you can eat a child size portion by the end of 2 years. I am 4 months post op and have lost 60lb in that time, and a total of 6 stone since i started dieting back in mid october. Even with limited mobility now you will find that as the weight comes off pretty fast you will be able to gently move around more and more, this too will aid your recovery and weight loss

 

[Yoyo-nomore]

Hi Pauline. Welcome... I'm newish myself, pre op was also just under 20 stone, also really crappy at sticking to the pre-op diet (until the last 4 days as started to panic about the liver issue), went into the hospital alone and stayed alone for duration of hospital visit and also petrified of the opertion.. to the extent I blubbed all the way down to the theatre holding photos of my family.

So you have company! It's the most sane thing in the world to have those kinds of fears about elective surgery that will change your body and relationship with food forever - - even if the risks of not taking action seem worse. 5 weeks post op and I'm 17.5 stone, trying to learn what I can and cannot eat with mixed success - - but none the less am able to go out for meals for work lunches and noone has a clue (I just order soup or salads etc).

This site and the eclectic real life insights of people of all backgrounds has been really informative and supportive to me, especially in lieu of having that immediate network around oneself at home. You've landed in the right place.

Big hugs
yoyo

 

[quetiapina]

Hi Pauline, just wanted to say Welcome!

 

[fairyringuk]

Hi Pauline welcome to this wonderful supportive group you need never feel 'alone' again with all these lovely people to 'talk' to and help you through your journey
I am waiting a surgery date for bypass and I understand all your fears and questions, I had researched and researched and still had loads of questions as no one can tell a tale like those who have been through the procedures. I am a nurse and have seen many surgeries but that doesnt make me feel any better nerve wise.
I had my gall bladder out 25yrs ago and was very very ill after and in hospital 7 weeks and nearly died, so like you and all the others have fears about the op. I have had 7 ops since less time consuming and have been fine. I have diabetes and osteo arthritis in all main joints and have chronic pain day to day like many others on the forum. I have hypthyroidism and high blood pressure and raised cholestrol, all the 'fatty' conditions.
So in my heart I know that the surgery will be life changing not just from a weight loss angle, which will be amazing, but from a health angle as well, to help my diabetes and all the other problems, and hopefully save me from any major illness' in the future.
I like all the others will help if able.
Also one of the girls says your surgeon and hospital team are good and that is the thing we have to have faith in, that we are in good hands with a team who are caring solely for WLS patients every day.
So get that milk carton out and get drinking lol, get that liver shrunk and look forward to embracing a new lifestyle.
Good luck

Jay xx

 

[fat-girl-slim08]

HiYa Pauline welcome to minis,
Please don't be scared of the Op your gonna be fine, Its all over before you know it and you won't regret it one bit.
Wishing you the best of luck on your weightloss journey x

 

[paulineiw]

THANK YOU so much all of you for your support and help, it means a lot. I have only just found your replies, not good at getting my way around the site yet!!!
Only 2 days to go!! Feeling happier now, thanks.
ps. Although I am having the op in Southampton, I am from the IOW,
leaving on the 5am ferry Saturday morning!!
Pauline

 

[halve me]

hi pauine and let me say a belated welcome!! wishing you all the best for your operation all will go well im sure. take care x