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Death by shame!
- Thread starter Miss hungry
- Start date
piratess
New Member
:-( people can be so cruel! Just because I'm fat I still have feelings!!
I'm pre-op and just back from Weymouth with OH and kids 17-13 and 6 all three wanted me to go on the kart racing but I said no (dreaded getting stuck)
Didn't dance atall this year either and I could see in ny daughters faces how let down they felt.
I walked up through town 2 summers ago with my eldest and 2 lads walked past and one said "pig" under his breath as he walked past :-( my eldest kept saying he didn't say anything but I knew he did!!!!
:-( sooner I get to slimdom the better!!! My kids are missing out on a mum!
I'm pre-op and just back from Weymouth with OH and kids 17-13 and 6 all three wanted me to go on the kart racing but I said no (dreaded getting stuck)
Didn't dance atall this year either and I could see in ny daughters faces how let down they felt.
I walked up through town 2 summers ago with my eldest and 2 lads walked past and one said "pig" under his breath as he walked past :-( my eldest kept saying he didn't say anything but I knew he did!!!!
:-( sooner I get to slimdom the better!!! My kids are missing out on a mum!
magicbeans
no longer obese!!
totally agree with u piratess....i dread a lot of things like rides and activities as i feel i will be the laughing stock.
we will one day be skinny minnies on those rides!!
we will one day be skinny minnies on those rides!!
katemal
New Member
Oh so many!
Breaking garden chairs, not fitting on fair ground rides, not able to eat in any cafe where the chairs are fixed to the floor so I couldn't squeeze between the chair and the table.
Lads shouting obscenities at me out of car windows, hearing the bloke at the petrol pump say to his mate, you wouldn't *bleep* that would you.
Children asking me why I'm so fat, kind family members commenting on what I'm eating, what I'm wearing, how fat I am at family gatherings.
The list goes on but reading it back I feel no regret, it'll keep me working hard at continuing to lose weight and makes me thankful for the amazing life I have now. :-D
Breaking garden chairs, not fitting on fair ground rides, not able to eat in any cafe where the chairs are fixed to the floor so I couldn't squeeze between the chair and the table.
Lads shouting obscenities at me out of car windows, hearing the bloke at the petrol pump say to his mate, you wouldn't *bleep* that would you.
Children asking me why I'm so fat, kind family members commenting on what I'm eating, what I'm wearing, how fat I am at family gatherings.
The list goes on but reading it back I feel no regret, it'll keep me working hard at continuing to lose weight and makes me thankful for the amazing life I have now. :-D
Cicca
New Member
The sadest thing of all is how much we take it for granted when we finally get it back or in my case for the 1st time. I was star struck for a while, but now I'm one of them as such and I've all but forgotten how many things I couldn't do. Good thread.
Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery
Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery
Mio
New Member
I remember one incident, but it was actually quite funny in the end.
I was with a friend who wanted to go to McDonald's. I wasn't buying anything to eat, but she needed the loo so I said I'd stand in line for her to save her place. So she went off, this group of lads came in, and barged right past me int the queue! So me, not being the shy, retiring type back then, confronted them on it to which I got the reply "Well, it's not like you need food anyway, you fat cow"!
I went absolutely mental, started shouting at them, told them I'd changed my mind and didn't want to be around such company and stormed off to find my mate in the loo. I told her all about it, then she stormed out and started having a go at them herself *lol* Then she dragged me outside and we started going over to one of the shops nearby - when I asked why, she said that she'd recognised the uniform of the guy who insulted me and was going to complain XD
So we stormed over there, demanded to speak to the manager and he was horrified - the lad came in while we were there and the manager made him apologise to us and gave him a verbal warning. We said thank you and then left.
My poor friend never did get her burger though *lol*
I was with a friend who wanted to go to McDonald's. I wasn't buying anything to eat, but she needed the loo so I said I'd stand in line for her to save her place. So she went off, this group of lads came in, and barged right past me int the queue! So me, not being the shy, retiring type back then, confronted them on it to which I got the reply "Well, it's not like you need food anyway, you fat cow"!
I went absolutely mental, started shouting at them, told them I'd changed my mind and didn't want to be around such company and stormed off to find my mate in the loo. I told her all about it, then she stormed out and started having a go at them herself *lol* Then she dragged me outside and we started going over to one of the shops nearby - when I asked why, she said that she'd recognised the uniform of the guy who insulted me and was going to complain XD
So we stormed over there, demanded to speak to the manager and he was horrified - the lad came in while we were there and the manager made him apologise to us and gave him a verbal warning. We said thank you and then left.
My poor friend never did get her burger though *lol*
lilmissairhead
New Member
While reading this only one incident really springs to mind (there are others but this one sticks out) i work for addictions (oh the irony) and one day i had to go to court just to see what they do, where i had to sit with the drug workers it was the tiniest gap to fit through to get to the benches, even the skinny people had to walk in sideways.....so i walked up to it with the dread on my face realising i would have to squeeze this big frame into that tiniest of gaps (think putting a watermelon into a golf hole) getting in i managed (just) put getting back out i heard a rip at the side of my trousers! luckily there were only a few people in there and it was only a little tear but my god i was mortified! i look back now and it's actually quite funny but its to the public seats for now lol x
suzz69uk
New Member
The claw... A ride at the beach, Me and a friend got on and the bars would not close properly so I had to get off 
. I was mortified!
Being told I wore a tent instead of a skirt by kids...
Biggest one:
A few years ago I really liked a guy who flirted with me a friend who always came out in our group and late one night we were talking and flirting as normal in the beer garden. We were the last as usual when he said he really liked someone, so much etc etc with his comment being I just wish she was thinner...he gave me a wink and went on to ask why I just did not diet and lose weight so we could be perfect together. I don't think I ever got over this comment, I still hold a torch for him but never go out with him anymore, in fact I moved a few miles away and no longer go out.
. I was mortified!Being told I wore a tent instead of a skirt by kids...
Biggest one:
A few years ago I really liked a guy who flirted with me a friend who always came out in our group and late one night we were talking and flirting as normal in the beer garden. We were the last as usual when he said he really liked someone, so much etc etc with his comment being I just wish she was thinner...he gave me a wink and went on to ask why I just did not diet and lose weight so we could be perfect together. I don't think I ever got over this comment, I still hold a torch for him but never go out with him anymore, in fact I moved a few miles away and no longer go out.
rainbow27
New Member
suzz69uk thats such a disgusting comment he made.. i seen a guy for a while but it was all hush hush and i think the reason we didnt have a full blown relationship is cause of my weight... my god i cant wait to have got to target and find someone and be like you missed out on me! xx
i seen a guy for a while but it was all hush hush and i think the reason we didnt have a full blown relationship is cause of my weight... my god i cant wait to have got to target and find someone and be like you missed out on me! xxTandydadder
Member
This incident occurred when I was a student midwife. My BMI was 35 @ the time. (it's now 42). Anyway, I had the most amazing patient who had a beautiful labour & delivery, and her baby was gorgeous. I was elated. I was gushing about it to a senior midwife (who is a farmers wife), telling her how fulfilling it was etc. Then I said,'experiences like this make me really broody!'. Her response? (the witch...) 'well you would really need to keep yourself trim if that's what you're thinking. If any of my husband's cows were overweight he wouldn't allow them to have calves.' I still work with this horrid woman. She scrutinises everything I eat. I cannot wait for the day when I have a healthy BMI, coz in spite of her slim figure, shes a nasty piece of work. I, on the other hand, am not. This happened in 1996. It STILL stings. Xo
Tandydadder
Member
Oh! I went on to have a lovely wee boy (my 2nd child). Have to say, she was right in that you are prone to many complications when you are obese & pregnant, but there are kinder ways of approaching the issue. Horrible, snide woman.
Tandydadder
Member
Ahhh Voodoo - if we only had the wisdom of hindsight at the time!! That's a brill response! Will store that one for future reference. X
mariew
New Member
The first comment I ever had was when I was 19. I went to the Dr to find out if I was pregnant, he gave me an internal exam and said he couldn't tell as there was "rather a lot of you" I was gob smacked. I am 5'9 and was 68kg at the time. That put my BMI at 22!! Well by the time my BMI was in the 40's the comments were less.
The most embarassing moment came 20 months ago, a month after I asked my gp to refer me for wls. I was on holiday in Cuba, stretched out on a sunlounger by the pool, then I felt a strange movement and Wham, the sun bed collapsed!! The legs were sticking out sideways and even when I struggled to my feet the bed stayed flat! Mortified!
Another holiday in Turkey,this time I was with my ex, we pushed the two single beds together up against the wall. When it was bed time I climbed on the bed, was walking across his to get to mine and my foot went straight through the slats, breaking them. I told my ex he had to tell reception it was him who broke it or I would leave him!! He did.
My most upsetting moment was last week. I was bored so I was looking through family photo's on FB. I found one taken of me on my birthday last November, I was at my heaviest and it was a very unflattering photo. I was sat at a table with my hubby and son playing poker. It was taken by my step daughter, she's 28. Underneath it in the description part it said "hahaha" I wasn't tagged in it, but My husbands ex wife was, so was her brother and her best friend. I was so upset I just cried. I emailed her and asked her to delete it and told her how upset I was. She did, but denied tagging her mother etc into it. even now a week later I could cry. I am due to have my wls in the next 3 months. I am going to plaster slim photo's of me all over FB.
The most embarassing moment came 20 months ago, a month after I asked my gp to refer me for wls. I was on holiday in Cuba, stretched out on a sunlounger by the pool, then I felt a strange movement and Wham, the sun bed collapsed!! The legs were sticking out sideways and even when I struggled to my feet the bed stayed flat! Mortified!
Another holiday in Turkey,this time I was with my ex, we pushed the two single beds together up against the wall. When it was bed time I climbed on the bed, was walking across his to get to mine and my foot went straight through the slats, breaking them. I told my ex he had to tell reception it was him who broke it or I would leave him!! He did.
My most upsetting moment was last week. I was bored so I was looking through family photo's on FB. I found one taken of me on my birthday last November, I was at my heaviest and it was a very unflattering photo. I was sat at a table with my hubby and son playing poker. It was taken by my step daughter, she's 28. Underneath it in the description part it said "hahaha" I wasn't tagged in it, but My husbands ex wife was, so was her brother and her best friend. I was so upset I just cried. I emailed her and asked her to delete it and told her how upset I was. She did, but denied tagging her mother etc into it. even now a week later I could cry. I am due to have my wls in the next 3 months. I am going to plaster slim photo's of me all over FB.
katemal
New Member
Marie and Tandy, I believe that being overweight and the victim of verbal abuse makes us appreciate our new lives SO much more when we are post-op 'big losers' AND makes us FAR nicer people because we know what hurt feels like and would go out of our way not to make others feel how we were made to feel.
I’d rather Cry over cuts & stitches. not mean old *itches !
I’d rather Cry over cuts & stitches. not mean old *itches !
voodoo
New Member
I agre with Kate, though I'm sure some 'friends' might not be so keen to be friends once we get slim! (and we will, even if it might take longer than we thought, at least in my case!)
My shame list is endless...I liked a guy and he told me I was SO pretty, sexy, clever and funny...BUT (BIG but here, just like mine, lol!!!) I needed to lose some weight! I've had guys eye me up until I stood up and the the look of SHEER disgust on their faces! I've been called a 'Weather Girl' - remember those two large black women who sang 'It's Raining Men'? Seatbelt extensions, arm rests digging in and hurting me... My honeymoon in Mauritius, a young German guy saying something in German when I missed a shot in beach volleyball - yet my hubby was shocked how fast & good I was at it! (turned out the lad said fat f**ker & his Dad didn't tell him off either!)
I've been in shops & had funny looks coz they're 'slim' shops but nothing said coz I'd go crazy if they did! Had stuff shouted at me, guys in pubs making remarks...worst thing is if I weighed 40 stone I'd not even LOOK at them!
Here's to slimdom, fitting in those clothes, getting eyed up and most of all - leading a 'normal' life!
xxxx sharon
My shame list is endless...I liked a guy and he told me I was SO pretty, sexy, clever and funny...BUT (BIG but here, just like mine, lol!!!) I needed to lose some weight! I've had guys eye me up until I stood up and the the look of SHEER disgust on their faces! I've been called a 'Weather Girl' - remember those two large black women who sang 'It's Raining Men'? Seatbelt extensions, arm rests digging in and hurting me... My honeymoon in Mauritius, a young German guy saying something in German when I missed a shot in beach volleyball - yet my hubby was shocked how fast & good I was at it! (turned out the lad said fat f**ker & his Dad didn't tell him off either!)
I've been in shops & had funny looks coz they're 'slim' shops but nothing said coz I'd go crazy if they did! Had stuff shouted at me, guys in pubs making remarks...worst thing is if I weighed 40 stone I'd not even LOOK at them!
Here's to slimdom, fitting in those clothes, getting eyed up and most of all - leading a 'normal' life!
xxxx sharon
Heah
New Member
This is a great thread.. We've probs all experienced some of these put downs. I've got a few but I'll start with this one.
Years ago when I was just over an acceptable size; I went to pick up my little girl from my parents house. It was a lovely warm day and they had been sitting outside. As I walked towards them I noticed my mother was sitting on a new reclining chair. Admiring them, I went to sit in the empty chair to which my mother started saying...."Don't sit there - they're only for normal people"
I still haven't forgotten it, I was really hurt and just gathered up the bairn and left. :-(
She wouldn't get away with saying anything like that now!!
Years ago when I was just over an acceptable size; I went to pick up my little girl from my parents house. It was a lovely warm day and they had been sitting outside. As I walked towards them I noticed my mother was sitting on a new reclining chair. Admiring them, I went to sit in the empty chair to which my mother started saying...."Don't sit there - they're only for normal people"
I still haven't forgotten it, I was really hurt and just gathered up the bairn and left. :-(
She wouldn't get away with saying anything like that now!!
