Feel a bit of a fraud for being here now...

[Trinaweena]

Hi Gerry
I'm so sorry to hear your sad news.
I agree wih Allicatt and HC , your children must be told the truth as hard as it seems,they will thank you in the end.
As for your op you could explain to them that because you are overweight it could mean that you may be prone to various illnesses caused by been overweight and that this operation could help prevent you getting those different type of illnesses by helping you to loose weight (if that makes sense)
I wish you
luck wih whatever you decide, sending you loads of hugs and kisses and take care
Trina xxxxxx

 

[Gerry]

Thanks everyone, and don't worry I'm not offended by any of the responses. I know really they do need to know. I just wish I knew already so that I didn't have to have the job of telling them. I guess that bit makes me resentful in a way as he should really be the one to tell them, but I know he's as subtle as a brick so wouldn't be a good idea. Guess I need to sit down with them and tell them.

With regards to my op, I have told them that I could become ill without it, and that I stand a better chance if I have it than if I don't. I think it is just nerves, and they will be fine afterwards and realise that it's much better in the long run.

Thanks again for the replies. Very much appreciated.

Gerry

 

[Gerry]

Hi all,

Sorry I've not been around for a while. Haven't really been very good company I'm afraid. Depression getting the better of me.

Pleased to say my ex hubby is out of hospital and doing pretty well. Spoke to him this morning as it would have been our 25th (Silver) wedding anniversary, so we wished each other a 'happy un-anniversary', and had a bit of a giggle about it.

Had been chatting to someone on another site who was very down on their luck. Had recently split from their partner, not long gone through heart surgery and had very bad depression with suiscidal tendancies. Having been there, I stepped in to help. I took over their finances and got them sorted, got arrears payments reduced, got them on income support, spent hours downloading forms and filling them in for a DLA claim, gave them stuff I no longer wanted to sell on ebay to raise cash, (hubby even gave them his old car to sell), made them food, took them out for meals, phoned to check they were ok, got the bailiffs called off when they wanted to take some of their posessions to pay debts.....leading them to say that if the bailiffs came in they would top themselves, so I literally saved their posessions....(can't remember it all but loads more too). Now they have found a new partner and I'm dropped like a brick. Not to put too finer point on it.....it f**king hurts to be used and treated in that way after everything I done. I can't even find the words in the English language (or any other language come to that) to describe how it has left me feeling. They won't even answer my emails. I'm no more use to them, so just cast aside.

I feel used, foolish, taken for a ride.....in short.....a total MUG.

Anyway, giving myself time now to try and get over it.

I did have my appointment to see the consultant on 26th of this month, but it's now been put back to 3rd October (only a week), so am going to try and focus on that instead now.

Sorry for yet another rant about problems in my life, but didn't want you to think I'd got fed up with you all (as if I could) and left.

Hope all is going well for everyone, and when I feel a little more myself, will come and see if I can catch up a bit.

Hugs to all.

Gerry
xx

 

[Nic318]

Oh Gerry that is terrible, some people have no idea how lucky they are to have such a friend like you! Their loss hun.

You try and focus on your own journey and no doubt this "friend" will be back when something else goes wrong - but next time you'll know the answer!

Lovely to hear from you though xx

 

[Gerry]

Oh Gerry that is terrible, some people have no idea how lucky they are to have such a friend like you! Their loss hun.

You try and focus on your own journey and no doubt this "friend" will be back when something else goes wrong - but next time you'll know the answer!

Lovely to hear from you though xx

Thanks Nic. I already know what my answer will be.....two words and the second one is 'off'.

Can't believe how well you are doing on your weight loss.....well done you !!

Gerry
xx

 

[Nic318]

Thanks Gerry, to be honest not updated it for a couple of weeks so should be more than that, I just try and keep off them as much as I can, don't want to get obsessive about going on the scales then going on a downer if I don't lose 1 week etc. Running out of tops at the moment but have loads of jeans I'm just loathe to be spending too much when not in them for very long, will have to look on ebay I think lol xxx

 

[mandy-1975]

Hi Gerry

So sorry....... it is their loss to not have a friend as wonderful as you!!!!

Sending you a big hug.... I know exactly what you mean when you talk about depression!!!!!

SO hugs and kisses to you

 

[charliegirl]

Hi Gerry big hug to you, unfortunately there are a lot of people out there like your so called friend. You will learn from it.....you can rant as much as you like I for one have done my fair share.....Linda x

 

[lovebug]

So so sorry to hear about that Gerry, sometimes it does help to think of the positives, it gave you something to concentrate on thru a tough time and i know its still tough but you'll get there !! and it just shows what a lovely, helpful person u are and to have those qualities overides anything. Yes i know its hard to understand why people act a certain way but your a great person and i wish u all the best in everything . Your not alone ....ever xxx

 

[tammy]

Hi gerry, just read your thread and posts. So sorry to hear you friend has dropped you it's their loss. Glad you ex is doing a bit better it must be a really difficult time for you all. Take care hun and sending you a big hug xx

 

[Gerry]

Well things are starting to move for me.

I had my first 'group meeting' at the hospital yesterday. Had a bit of a drama beforehand, as I had to do the fasting blood test for 12 hours before. Anyway, as I have trouble with hypoglycaemia, I was trying not to exert myself as I was feeling rather groggy, and looking forward to having a cuppa after having the blood test done. Now blood tests don't phase me, as I've had more of them than I've had hot dinners. However, there was me, sitting on my scooter, and by the time the guy had got to the 7th syringe full of blood, I was starting to feel rather peculiar. I looked at hubby and he was also looking rather surprised, although I think that was because the guy was still doing more (9 by this time). The band on my upper arm was pressing on an internal bruise that I've had for a while and I kept feeling like I was going to pass out. I wanted hubby to come and stand beside me in case I tumbled off my scooter onto the floor but couldn't get the words out. After the 11th syringe had been filled, I was really 'swimming' and hubby stood by me and they had to get me a bowl and tissues and leave me there for a while to get myself together. I felt such a fool at my age!

Anyway, we had a cuppa and something to eat to get my blood sugar back up, then went and found the place where we were having the meeting.

The paperwork I'd been sent, kind of gave the impression that we would be seeing the consultant that day, but it didn't work out like that. I find groups very difficult to handle, although I tried not to show it. It was helpful to hear from others who had been through it before. Afterwards, one of the people running the group came and saw us, took our phone number and a note of which op we wanted and that was it! . We were told we would hear with another appointment in a few weeks. What has worried me though, is that they said that we first have to see the dietician and the psychiatrist (which in itself isn't a problem for me), but that we have to prove on paper, everything we have tried before. Because I have this 'group phobia' thing, I have never been able to go to diet clubs and such like. I have tried all my diets at home. I've tried Slimfast, I've done calorie controlled, I've done low fat, tried exercise, Xenical (twice), but nothing worked. Obviously my other health problems have to be taken into consideration too, hence why I was told not to go to weight management. Anyway, the woman running the meeting stressed that you had to prove on paper what you had tried. All I have is a very old packet of Xenical tablets in the back of the cupboard, which show the date when I was trying them. They don't even have my name on them. I can't prove anything.

Now I am wondering if after all this, they will turn round and say that I have to do some kind of weight management thing first. I just have visions of having to go there once a week for six months (totally impossible as hubby has to take time off to get me there, so he wouldn't have enough days holiday, and would probably end up having to give up work to do it). Also, the car parking was over £13 yesterday, so I can't afford that plus petrol all the time. I'm just feeling like there are more hurdles being put in my way. I'd initially felt very positive yesterday morning, but by the end of that meeting, I was feeling like they were saying "computer says no".

Also there was a long questionaire to fill in. I'd hoped they would have gone through it with me, but they just collected it and shoved it in with my notes. There was a lot I wanted to explain, now I feel I can't, because they said they would all be having a meeting about the patients who attended yesterday and discussing them before we had our consultation. That to me, seems like they will do the decision making based on the questionaire. I didn't even write on there about my other health problems or disability, so I'm worried I will end up looking like someone just after a 'quick fix' and will just get told to go on a diet.

Feeling a bit deflated now.

Sorry for yet another downer post.

Gerry
:wave_cry:

 

[shelbell]

don't say sorry Gerry, it's what this forum is here for. It sounds like a very 'cattle market' way of handling things! With the xenical, your GP notes will prove when/how long you were on it, and I didn't have to 'prove' I'd tried any other things, they just took my word for it.

Try to think positively, I know it's not easy, but there is no point worrying about what will happen next until you get there.

 

[Gerry]

Thanks Shel. Just feeling rather down about it all. I knew I wasn't going to feel good after the 'group' thing, but also knew I couldn't expect them to run a session just for me either. It took a lot for me to overcome my worries to get there, and even hubby said it was the first time he'd known me to attend any kind of group type session about anything in the whole time he'd known me (9 years). Although I coped reasonably well whilst there, I dare say no one would have thought I had any kind of problem with groups, but inwardly it was awful for me and I was glad to get out. It's since then that it has had me recollecting it and crying over it. Not only putting myself through the 'group phobia' thing, but also worry over wether or not they will now turn round and say I can't have the surgery because I can't prove that I have tried.

I may write an email into the woman who ran the group session and ask for it to be added to my notes. Maybe get my point across that way. Hopefully they will then consider my worries when they 'discuss' me amongst themselves before they see me next.

Sorry I've not been on here much. Going through a bit of a bad patch. I still want this op, but having lots of other troubles at the moment too (which I won't bore you with).

Have been reading some of the threads which have been very helpful, just not had much energy to reply. Still following people's progress though.

Gerry

 

[shelbell]

:hug99: sorry to hear you're having a bad time of it Gerry. I think the email is a great idea, go for it

 

[charliegirl]

Hi Gerry I agree with shel send the email it can only help and will make you feel better to for having got it out of your system.....((hug)) xx

 

[Gerry]

Thanks ladies.

Charlie I was reading your thread about the hassles you are having.....seems a bit like what I went through. Sometimes I wonder if the powers that be enjoy making us wait. It's not like it matters to them but it damn well matters to us.

I'm still no further forward and sitting square on the fence not knowing if I will get my op or not. I need to compose the email to them and ask for it to be included in my notes. It's just being in the right frame of mind.

I've decided to try and put myself on a healthy eating 'diet'. Started off so well yesterday, not eating any cakes, biccies or sweets or anything, then just before I was about to go and collect the kids from school I get a hypoglycaemic attack.....big style! Tried to fend it off with some 'natural' sugar by eating fruit, but it was getting worse and worse until in the end I had to stuff sweets and biscuits in me to get my blood sugar up. I was so disappointed. I think that not only was it because I was not eating sweet stuff, it was because I was not eating enough at all, and that's what made my blood sugar plummet. I nipped into Tesco's last night and bought myself some more healthy things like cup-a-soups, wholemeal bread, fruit and some weight watchers meals, and will see if that works. I've lost another three lbs since I last weighed myself anyway, so hopefully this might do more. I also need to keep busy, so have been doing my miniatures which needs clean hands and lots of concentration, so I'm not tempted to keep nibbling.

If I can get used to not eating all the bad stuff, then I think I will find the pre-op diet a little easier (assuming I get that far and am not turned down).

Feeling chuffed that I have managed to update my weight ticker and make a snazzy signature too.....only small things, but significant when feeling as low as I have recently.

 

[mandy-1975]

They may only be small things but well done!!!!!!!!!!!!! every little thing helps and always moves on to bigger things!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big hugs to you

 

[charliegirl]

Hi Gerry yes I agree these things matter to us and I feel like screaming sometimes when the powers that be dismiss it so quickly. I also understand about the blood sugar dropping I get a headache really quickly and as I am prone to monthly migraines and wake up nearly everyday with a headache I dread getting one so eat little and often (ok its a lot and often lol). Over the last 12 months for some reason I have gone right off sweet stuff apart from ligourice (that is so not spelt right) and fruit gums I really dont bother with biscuits and cakes apart from every blue moon and then I instantly regret it as its been too sweet. I have just been out shopping now and feel very hungry and the headache I woke with is getting worse so I need to do something and fast. What minitures do you make? I have a doll's house and love all things minuture I have the cutest little dog made out of pipe cleaners and all sorts of little animals (I am animal mad). People say to me you cant have a chicken living in the kitchen of your dolls house and I say well its my dolls house and the dolls dont complain....yes I know slightly worrying that I am so doolally....keep up the good work with your healthy eating it can only help in the long run and at least your losing no matter how healthy I eat my weight keeps going up. I wish you me and the other folk on here that are waiting for funding that we get it and soon so we can start next year happier and healthier and in the meantime if I win big on the lottary I will treat you all.....xx

 

[Gerry]

Well, I'm on day four of my self imposed healthier eating plan. I still keep forgetting to weigh myself in the morning, so not sure if it's done anything or not, but so far I'm doing well with it. I'm allowing myself one 'naughty' treat a day, as I'd ordered them with the shopping on Wednesday and was too late to change my shopping order by the time I decided to go on this healthy eating regime. I don't like to see things going to waste, so I am using them up as a treat, one per day (usually they are all gone by Saturday). I do need to try and find some other ideas for things to eat, as I seem to be living off wholemeal toast for brekkie, wholemeal banana sandwich (yummy) for lunch and a proper dinner. Might do myself an egg for lunch, with a yoghurt to follow. I'm also going to make some sugar free jelly. I need to find more healthy type foods that I actually eat and enjoy. Jacket spud is nice, with tuna. Mmmmm, now that makes me want one of those for lunch...

I've trained myself that when I feel hungry, I don't just grab for the first thing to hand. I look at my note pad where I have written lots of different options and pick one of those, but I really need to think of some more.

Thankfully I've not had anymore low blood sugar attacks.

Daughter took me out for a meal yesterday to a harvester restaurant. I was worried that it would really throw my healthy eating ideas out of the window, as I usually have the combo (ribs & chicken with chips.....or sometimes jacket potato and chips) but they had some healthy options on the menu, so I chose the chicken with mashed potato and peas. Instead of lemonade I had a pure orange juice, and no pudding or starter. Still felt stuffed. I know even that won't be possible once (if) I've had my op, but it's still a step in the right direction, and at least it's going to help me loose a bit before the op itself, which is the whole point.

 

[lovebug]

Your so on the right track Gerry. Eating just that little bit less just shows that really we don't need the humungous amount we normally do. A little bit of training before hand will bode u well. and well done so far. xxx